A/N: I finally caught up! It only took two extra days, so...yay? I think this story is going to be a LOT of fun for me to write, mostly because I love Christmas time so much. Please, please review and tell me what you think!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Nada. Please don't sue me!
He found himself humming Christmas tunes under his breath. It didn't feel right but he couldn't help it. It was EVERYWHERE he went. The shops, work, even Mrs. Hudson was playing them (what felt like) almost 24/7.
All he wanted was some respite from the unrelenting positivity, the love songs, the joy. What happened to him?
It was easy to forget, sometimes, that Sherlock was gone. The nightmares always reminded him though.
A few days later he'd had an appointment with Ella. She was pleased that he had written Sherlock a letter, though when she asked if she could see it, John felt guilty.
He didn't dare tell her that he'd placed the envelope against Sherlock's headstone, and he didn't dare tell her that he planned to leave another this very day.
Sherlock,
I still don't know why I'm writing to you. It's not like I'm going to get an answer, or see you again. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better.
Whatever it is, I think it might be helping. Last time I wrote you I didn't have a single nightmare for days, but now they're back. I should do an experiment; see how long the nightmares stay away after I leave this letter by your grave.
God that last word was hard to write. Ella told me it was important to get my feelings out, but I feel more like a rambling, incoherent mess versus a psychologist's patient who's trying to process his feelings.
Maybe I'll get better at it, since right now I'm imagining the look of horror on your face as you read this, and I quote,"drivel". Lucky you're not here to read it.
Sorry. Didn't mean it like that.
I hope you can read this wherever you are. It makes me feel better to act like you can.
Hope everything is okay on your end
John
A/N: Please review! Thank you for reading and...
DFTBA darlings, :)