Thanks to Sailorraven34 for reviewing!
A/N I forgot to do a disclaimer, but I own nothing.
Someone's doing fireworks night a night late with really loud screaming fireworks. It's pissing me off. Get a calendar people. I don't really have anything else to say, other than enjoy the chapter. And review.
I wake up at 5:10 AM the next day. Rolling over, I put my feet down on to the floor, except the floors moving, like an earthquake. It's rising up an down and vibrating. I almost scream before I realise it's Tony's chest under my toes. I can't believe he didn't leave when I went to sleep. He really is a good dad.
I get out the other side of my bed. Putting on my workout clothes quickly, I go to the gym. To bein with, I punch the bag and I'm almost finished when Steve walks in. "You're up early?" He asks it rather than states, but doesn't expect an answer. Hanging his own bag up, he continues, "Bad dreams?"
"You would if you've been through what I have." I retort, deciding to road run instead of treadmill. I put headphones in to my ears and plug the jack in to my 'sPod' Tony designed, and head out.
I run for a long time. Running along, getting more and more lost, until I realise that I can't see the Tower, or any of the other buildings I've come to recognize. So I turn back, twisting and turning until I can see the Tower again. I step in the lobby and jump in the elevator as the 'sPod' connects to the WiFi, I get about 30 notifications, and I realise that I probably should have told someone where I was going before I left. Err, better go and see Tony before I have a shower, right?
To begin with, he's angry, and I'm terrified. I shake, tears I'm determined not to spill forming. He asks why I went without telling him and I shake out a, "Because I thought no one would care." But that's the truth, I didn't. Then he stops being angry.
"Yana," Tony whispers, tears not only pooling in his eyes, but rolling down his cheeks too. "I care. I care about everything to do with you, everything that you do, whether it be going out, or just watching TV. Don't ever feel like no one cares. Because I do. Because I love you." I don't know what to say. I can't say anything. So I quietly excuse myself and go to shower.
I'm about to knock on the door to Tony's work shop/lab when I hear him talking to someone inside, and for once it's not himself. "I don't know what to do, Natasha. I'm crap at being a parent. She had a nightmare last night, I don't think it's the first one either, and I didn't know what to do. I tried to wake her up, but she kept screaming. And then I was about to have a panic attack, but she started to wake up, so I was able to calm down. And just earlier-"
Natasha cuts him off, trying to prevent Tony from getting too worked up. "Tony calm down. You're not a crap parent. You just haven't had much practice. It'll get easier."
He pauses for a moment, thinking of what to say. "I'm scared of hurting her, of terrifying her, like I-" He's scared of frightening me like he did this morning. He's going to have a panic attack because I wasn't brave enough to not to suppress my feelings of guilt.
"Tony. You're not going to scare her." Natasha's voice brings me back down to earth.
"Will you just listen to me?" Tony asks, obviously annoyed at Natasha. "This morning she went out for a run without telling me, so I was talking to her about it and she was just fucking terrified of me, I don't know what I was doing wrong." You're doing nothing wrong, Tony, it's all me.
"Maybe you were just reminding her of-" Don't say his name. Don't say it please. Don't say it please.
He cuts her off before she can say it. "Maybe I was but how do I not? When I don't know what reminds her of it?"
"Tony, calm down. She'll get use-"
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING AT ALL NATASHA!" Tony storms out and I rush to flatten myself against the wall where he can't see me.
A couple of seconds pass and Tony's completely gone before I let myself breathe again. "Yana?" Natasha calls from inside the workshop. "I know you're out there." I walk in, not expecting to be enveloped in her arms. "He's not coping well is he?" I shake my head.
"I don't think he knows how much I need him, how good at being my dad he is."
"You need to tell him. He won't believe it coming from anyone else." I nod because I know. But I don't know how to tell him in a way that will make him believe that it's actually coming from me, not just a some one else telling me to say something.