A/N: IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS YOU GUYS. I'M SO EXCITED. It's seriously my favorite holiday I love it so so so much you don't understand.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this stuff. Please, please don't sue me. A lawsuit would be the worst Christmas gift.
The date did not go well. John expected this.
He expected awkward silences. There were none.
He expected he wouldn't dare bring up Sherlock. He did.
He expected to be the quiet one. He wasn't.
By the time his date left, he'd learned several things about himself. He was done grieving, he could talk about Sherlock, and most unexpected of all...
John Watson was in love with Sherlock Holmes.
The instant he got back to the flat, he took a hot shower to try and get some clarity into his thoughts. He found this to be very unhelpful.
So John picked up a pen.
Sherlock,
You've ruined another date for me. And you're not even alive for it. I couldn't stop talking about you tonight; it was like I had diarrhea of the mouth, but not everything in my brain made it out.
Just the thoughts about you.
Now I know the first time we met I told you I wasn't gay. I'm not. But I think I can now safely admit that I'm not exactly straight either.
This is your fault, so you know.
I'll never send this, but I wish I could. I wish you could read it and tell me how you feel. You never will.
I wish for a lot of things, the only thing I wish now is very simple.
Don't be dead any more.
John
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please review and...
DFTBA darlings, :)