Chapter Eleven

Clara, her family and the Doctor sat holding cups of tea in the kitchen of the TARDIS – the ship itself seemed to be in a state of nervous humming, Clara figured she was in tune with herself and the Doctors feelings because both of them where strung up with nerves. Not that he told her how he was feeling – the nervous tapping of his fingers on his cup and the way his eyes wouldn't meet anyone's was proof of his nerves. The tick in his tight jaw was proof he was angry about the fire too.

Her family had listened as Clara did her best to explain that she'd met the Doctor and been travelling all over the universe for years now. They hadn't said anything.

After Clara finished her shabby explanation there was a brief silence before her dad pointed at the Doctor and said "So… he's an alien?"

Clara was just relived they spoke. "Yes. Not from mars." She had no idea why she felt the need to specify that he was not from mars. "He's a timelord."

"I… right…" her dad frowned. "And you've been travelling with him in this… spaceship for years?"

"She's called the TARDIS." Clara pattered the metal wall of the kitchen fondly. "She's sentient so be polite –" at that the TARDIS made her input with a long groaning that had the Doctor look up and frown. "And yes. Since I was living with the Maitland family."

"How didn't we know you where traveling in space for that long?" her gran asked looking utterly confused.

"The TARDIS can also travel in time." The Doctor finally helped her explain. "I've had Clara back home in minutes of leaving so there was no disruption to her life here."

"So this is a time machine as well as a spaceship?" her gran frowned. "Isn't that just greedy?"

The Doctor smiled.

Clara frowned. "You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would…"

"Im old Clara, I haven't got time to be questioning what's right in front of my face." gran informed her.

"They're all handling it better than you did. You called her my snog-box and spilled your tea everywhere." The Doctor snorted.

"You dragged me in here to avoid being killed by a crashing plane – then landed us on the crashing plane!" Clara defended herself.

"Yes but I was very clever – I stopped the plane crashing and defeated the spoonheads." He defended right back.

"You might have defeated the spoonheads but I'm pretty sure we can agree I kicked the great intelligence's ass and since he was controlling the spoonheads I have one up on you." She rolled her eyes. "And a crashing plane is bumpy – no wonder I spilled my tea!"

"One up on me? If you want to play it like that…" the Doctor stopped, eyeing her family watching their banter and cleared his throat nodding at them. "We can discuss this another time."

"I…" Linda finally spoke. "I'm not sure I believe this…"

"Feel free to look outside the doors. We're floating right between your moon and earth right now." The Doctor invited.

Clara's dad suddenly placed his hand over Clara's on the table, but he was looking at the Doctor. "Doctor. This travelling with you… it explains the change in Clara over the years and I'm not going to lie that it was a good change. She's been happier, easier to find the optimistic side. But is it safe?"

The Doctor looked at his impossible girl who was looking right back at him. She opened her mouth, and he opened his sure she was going to lie to her family but was surprised when they both answered him:

"No."

The Doctor stared at her as she continued speaking.

"No dad, it's not safe." But she was smiling. "The Doctors isn't a tour guide of the galaxy – he's the Doctor. He fixes things. He doesn't always go where he wants to go, the TARDIS takes him where he needs to go – and usually that's somewhere dangerous. I've seen him save entire civilisations, planets even! I've seen him do amazing things – things that would have started wars on earth but he fixed with a few sentences." She sighed, refusing to look at the Doctor as she said "I'm not going to lie, I've nearly died a few times… at some points I have died and I know that makes no sense to you but… yeah its dangerous, and it's fantastic and I love it."

Her dad said nothing, looking down and biting his lip.

"Hey dad its fine, anyway the Doctor can probably tell you which of your conspiracy theories are actually correct?" she tried to cheer him up.

He gave a weak smile, then turned to the Doctor. "Can you keep her safe?" he asked.

The Doctor hesitated, but replied truthfully. "I try, I really do – but she's far too stubborn to take orders-"

"-He's right, it's not his fault."

Her dad looked at Linda, then back to Clara. "This… life? The Doctor… makes you happy?" he asked.

"Very. Really."

"Then I'm not about to ask you to stop just because I'm worried." Her dad sighed. "You're an adult and make your own choices and… it sounds like you've chosen a pretty spectacular life. I am concerned about your dying comment though?"

"Oh… that will take a while to explain and I would like to get back to my apartment at some point." She stalled.

Her dad blinked. "Your apartment, it's on fire… someone threw a flaming bottle through your window Clara!"

"Yeah I thought you said your area was save love?" her gran frowned.

"I- it is usually…" she worried her lip.

The Doctor put a hand on her shoulder behind her and gave an encouraging smile, but took over explaining for her. "Clara's had some trouble recently with a, well a stalker."

"A stalker!" Linda looked horrified. "Is that what those phone calls you told your dad about where about?"

"Yeah…" Clara had put her face in her hands as she lent on the table – the Doctors hand still on her shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell us sweetie?" her gran sounded hurt.

"I didn't want to put you in any danger… I guess I thought the Doctor and I could goad the guy out and get him to stop before I had to tell you…"

"Is that why you were around for Christmas dinner then?" gran asked the Doctor suspiciously.

"That, and Clara invited me. I've been pretty much living with her since she told me about this stalker. This is the first time he's been physically violent." The Doctor squeezed her shoulder. "This should be enough for the police to finally arrest him."

"Only if there's enough evidence." Clara mumbled.

"The bottle was still in the apartment and the firemen should be there pretty swiftly. If they can put the fire out quick enough they could still retrieve the bottle and get prints."

"Yeah… I guess…" she sighed, pulling her hands down from her face finally and staring at the table. "I can't believe he set my home on fire…"

The TARDIS suddenly made another noise, the Doctor looked up with a slight frown. "We've landed." He said "Apparently she got impatient. We should be just outside your apartment ten minutes after leaving…"

Clara stood, so did her family and they all followed the Doctor back to the control room – though she had them hang back a bit while he went outside to check it was indeed the right time. He'd gotten it right of course and when they came out of the police box they were surrounded by fire trucks and gawkers. She was pleased to see the fire seemed to have been extinguished already – the Doctor was already talking to the fire chief, and Clara was flagged down by her concerned neighbours.

"Oh Clara dear I was so worried when the alarms went off and we were evacuated and I saw it was your apartment!" Mrs Brown said holding her dog to her chest.

"Yeah I know, I don't know what happened…" Clara fumbled to explain to her neighbour's for ten minutes until she saw the Doctor and her father waving at her to come talk to the fire chief.

"Clara, this is the fire chief" her father introduced them.

"And I was right – they retrieved the bottle that started the fire and think they can get usable prints from it." the Doctor added.

"Yeah, your father tells me this could have been an attack from a man who's stalking you – this should be enough to get him arrested for the fire at least." The fire chief looked encouragingly at her. "But your apartment is pretty damaged – I can let you in to retrieve some belongings but do you have a place to stay until your apartment is renovated?"

"I – uh…" Clara looked at the Doctor, then her dad.

Her dad for his part tried to give a genuine smile she saw that much as he said "It's fine if you want to stay with him instead of me Clara. I… think I understand. So long as I'm allowed to pick his brains about conspiracy theories some time."

The Doctor smiled at that, waited until it was just the three of them and whispered to her dad "Did you know the moon is actually an egg?"

"Really?" her dad went wide eyed as he looked at the sky despite the moon not being visible.

"Ask Clara." The Doctor smiled, and Clara nodded in affirmative but was unable to keep her eyes from rolling as she did it.

"I knew it…" her dad smiled, rocking back on his heels.

Clara and her family finished Christmas evening with her neighbours – who noticed a slight tension between the family but said nothing – until her family finally went home, Clara telling them to call her if they had more questions about her life. She and the Doctor went upstairs to her apartment then, ducking under the security tape and then just standing in her went burnt out sitting room.

"I still can't believe he set my apartment on fire…" she whispered, picking up one of the only Christmas ornaments that wasn't burnt.

"Try not to think about it…" the Doctor advised moving through her apartment to find something salvageable. He spotted the mistletoe spring above her kitchen door, remembering the kiss he shared with her earlier he felt a kind of fondness for the weed that had miraculously not been burnt.

"Is that what you do about everything? Just not feel?" Clara frowned at him, slight irritation in her voice.

He gaped at her then. "No! Of course I feel something's…"

She sighed "Sorry I didn't mean to snap – but you keep telling me not to feel and… I guess I just can't do that."

He cocked his head to one side thoughtfully then while checking her kitchen which didn't seem to have been touched by the fire. "I guess this regeneration is just not as good with feelings as my past few where…"

Clara looked at him over her shoulder. "Well, what do you feel now?"

He frowned looking over his shoulder. "Confused. What do you feel now Clara?"

She smiled softly. "I also feel confused. And sad. Angry… accepting."

"That's a lot of negative feelings for such a small person." He commented.

She gestured around the room. "Kind of hard to have a positive feeling."

"Bet I can point out one good thing."

"Oh?"

He reached up and pulled the Mistletoe from above the door, holding it out to her he said "Well this survived the fire, your tradition?"

Clara did smile. "Mistletoe is only good if you have someone to kiss."

The Doctor offered her a hand to help her stand, and when she took it he pulled her hard against him. Her hands pressed against his chest feeling the double thump of his hearts – she barely had a seconds of notice before the Doctors mouth was on hers, hard and yet soft at the same time. He sucked in her lower lip, nibbling it lightly, until Clara got over her initial shock and relaxed allowing him access to the rest of her, Clara's hands finding their ways up his arms and shoulders into his hair where she gripped lightly as his tongue stroked over hers.

When they finally pulled away, gasping for breath, the Doctor leaned his forehead on hers and just held her like that for a moment before he asked "How do you feel now?" sounding slightly breathless.

"Still confused…" she replied honestly.

"Damn, and here I was trying to make you happy…" he kissed her forehead again, and she felt his lips smile against her skin. "Come, I think it's just this room that's damaged by fire. You have clothes on the TARDIS and you should really get some sleep after today…"

She nodded, but hesitated to move when he tried to pull her out of the door. He looked at her questioningly when she remained stationary – staring into her big round eyes full of questions.

"Why- did you just do that… I don't…?" she tried to phrase her question but couldn't quite manage it.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, closed the distance between them again and placed his hands on her cheeks giving her a softer kiss this time he looked down at her softly when they parted and said "I was feeling – not thinking. Just like you do. And if I started feeling instead of thinking sooner, I'd have probably done that sooner too."

Clara sat in the library on the TARDIS staring at her phone. She'd just had a conversation with her gran who'd phone near constantly since finding out about her travels with the Doctor – she was mostly concerned about her stalker and ironically not about her alien travels. Maybe the stalker was just the most normal thing she could think about.

With a sigh she got up and made her way to the kitchen intent on another cup of tea. The Doctor was in the control room figuring out some problem on the chalk boards – had been since she woke up the day after the fire – and hadn't mentioned anything about their kisses. She wasn't keen to mention it either and she was embarrassed to admit it was because of her fear of rejection.

She was halfway through making her cup of tea when she realised there was no milk. Irritated and in desperate need of tea, she made the decision to pop into the shop down the street and retrieved her coat form her room before heading to the control room to leave.

She had her hand on the door when the Doctor asked "Where are you going?"

She looked behind her. He hadn't moved from staring at the chalk board. "I was sure you'd forgotten I was here." She teased.

"Never could do that." He shrugged, still not looking.

"I'm just going to the shop on the corner to get some milk – we're out."

He turned then, eyeing her. "Are you sure that's safe?"

She hesitated. "I don't know, but I can't drag you away from your important work just for tea. We're in the TARDIS though – I'm sure he doesn't know I'm staying in the mysterious blue box on the street corner… he's probably busy checking relatives and friends home for me after the fire?"

The Doctor looked at her now. "Who are you trying to convince, me or you?"

"Both."

He smiled at her honesty, then reached into his pocket and tossed her the sonic screwdriver. "Every sonic has a part of the TARDIS's matrix in it. If you take too long I won't hesitate to track you down so keep hold of that."

"So you don't think he's out there ready to spring me either?" she sounded uncomfortable, afraid of going to get milk now and feeling stupid for being afraid.

The Doctor sighed. "It's hard to know what he's thinking. I don't know if he's keen enough on watching you that he's taken notice of the TARDIS despite the cloaking device and perception filter. But I think your right that he'll be looking elsewhere for you – I know I would be. And it's the middle of the day… and I know you don't want to be afraid anymore so this is the only way you can learn not to be."

"Alright. I won't be long, quick nip in and out be back in five minutes and in ten I'll come bug you about your chalk boards with a nice fresh hot cuppa." She teased, leaving the TARDIS.

"No jammie dodgers this time!" he yelled after her.