Doc Martin and all of its characters, themes and plotlines are the property of Buffalo Pictures. This work of fiction is written for purely entertainment purposes and no infringement of legal rights is intended.

Chapter 12

Louisa

This may be slowest written story in all of fanfictiondom. I realised to have started this story over eighteen months ago and am only on chapter 12. Thank you to the readers who have stuck with me through the pauses and hiatuses. Real life has a way of interfering with what we love to do, and writing is certainly one of my loves.

Thank you to my fellow fanfiction authors, especially robspace54, Boots1980 and DeclanS, for their unwavering support over the years.

And so we find Louisa in London after her break up with Martin. It's a lonely proposition living in the big city, in a bedsit with few friends. But she runs into an old acquaintance from Portwenn that may, or may not, change everything.

Louisa was doing her best to wipe the tears off her cheeks as the little dog barked and tugged on the lead, unhappy at being restrained by Toby. "Are you alright?" he asked again. She gave him a watery smile, and was prevented from answering when Toby turned his attention back to the rambunctious dog. "That's enough!" he finally snapped. By then Louisa had dried her tears, and Jasper was sitting quietly on his haunches. She looked down at the pug, which had a mildly contrite look on his face. "You have a dog." This was more of a statement than question, and Toby answered with a grimace, "I don't. It's my sister's. She foists it on me when she's traveling, which is most of the time." Toby gave a tug on the lead, and the little dog gazed up expectantly. "No, you're not getting a biscuit. He's a treat floozy," he said to Louisa with a grin. "He'll follow anyone with a slip of bacon in their pocket."

Louisa smiled weakly but didn't say anything - she was still on the edge and knew it wouldn't take much to set her off on another crying jag. She suddenly wanted the safety of her flat where she could cry to her heart's content with embarrassing no one but herself. Excuses flashed half formed through her mind and before she could decide on one Toby asked, "Would you care to join me for lunch? You'd be saving me from the week old Pad Thai moldering in my fridge. And possibly a bout of food poisoning." He was grinning again, his brown eyes gazing at her with an intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. Low spirits didn't prevent Louisa from noticing what a handsome figure he made in his well-fitting jeans, a head of dark curls tousled by the wind.

She finally said, "I don't know, it's getting late and I have…well things to do." This was the truth; the marketing and laundry had yet to be done as was the marking from Friday. None of it was urgent of course, especially as she had planned to while away the afternoon window shopping and have lunch at a café. But instead she had broken down like a lovelorn heroine in a bad romance novel, her emotions taking her to places she had no interest in revisiting. She had done her fair share of crying and ranting in the days following her break with Martin, and believed she should be past the worse of it by now. After all that's why she had left Portwenn; to get away, start a new life with a new job in the big city.

Caroline's phone call had pulled her back to where she'd been a month ago; sad, hurt and angry. The anger had stealthy crept around the tears and remonstrations, until it had become a force of its own, giving her the push to get out of Portwenn. She felt a surge of it now, wondering once again how Martin could have ever contemplated leaving her high and dry at the altar.

Of course she had planned to do the same to him, but at least had the decency of leaving him with a letter explaining her reasons for calling off the wedding. She knew he had had no thought of doing the same, and to her this was proof he didn't care one bit about her - if he did care wouldn't he have made an attempt at contacting her by now? She'd open that door with the hastily written but heartfelt card she'd posted two weeks ago from Westminster Abbey. Not a sign or a peep from the man she had almost married, and Caroline had added fuel to Louisa's distress by describing Martin going about his business in the village as if nothing of substance had happened in his life a mere four weeks ago.

Tears threatened to blur the landscape, and she dug the nails of one hand into the other, hoping the pain would keep her emotions in check. Toby took quick note of Louisa's distress and exclaimed, "Goodness, you're not alright!" He gently led her to the nearest bench and produced a handkerchief from his coat pocket. She took it and suppressed a sob, recalling how Martin would keep a clean handkerchief in his coat pocket. This she'd teased him about - who owned linen handkerchiefs these days, especially the kind hand stitched and monogram?

She was relieved to see Toby's hankie was plain cotton and not monogram, and proceeded to blow her nose rather noisily. Get a grip and buck up, she told herself. Maybe she was coming down with something - many of her students had been ill with colds and the like. No, she decided, this was all due to fatigue brought on by the move and new job, the only rational explanation for why she was being so weepy and irrational.

Toby had sat next to her, and was staring straight ahead. He wanted to give Louisa the space to collect herself, but at the same time was curious as to what could cause her such distress. "Do you want to talk about it? I mean whatever it is that's bothering you. Don't have to, if you don't want to," he added, not wanting to appear too nosey.

Louisa wadded the used cloth in one hand. "It's fine, really. So sorry to make a nuisance of myself."

They sat in silence, and Toby shifted on the bench but kept his eyes on the lake, grey in the milky afternoon light. A raft of ducks was bobbing for their lunch, and Jasper, sensing nothing exciting was in the offing, was now snoring softly at their feet.

A young boy appeared at the edge of the lake and launched a toy sailboat in the still waters. He pushed at the little craft but it stayed put until a sudden gust of wind filled the sails and sent it flying to the opposite shore. The ducks startled up to sky as the boy whooped in delight.

"He's happy," said Toby, a touch wistfully. Louisa forgot her troubles for a moment and asked, "And you're not?" But the shadow was gone as quickly as it had come and her hand in his. "Not when I see you like this." It felt strange, to have her hand nestled in Toby's, a betrayal to the memory of what she had had with Martin. That is all in the past, she told herself firmly. Martin is gone, there are only memories, and nothing left to betray.