Chapter Two:

Pocket Full of Posies

Brick sat alone in the apartment that he and Mordecai shared. Shared was such a strong word now. It had been months since Mordecai last slept there. He had taken to sleeping on Lilith's couch, so it would be easier and quicker for him to wait on her hand and foot. Through the first trimester of her pregnancy, things seemed to be normal between Brick and Mordecai. They slept in the same bed. Spent some time together. Even enjoyed a romp through the sheets here and there. Occasionally Lilith would call him over the ECHO to come help her with something. But for the most part things seemed to be normal between them.

When the second trimester started though, Lilith was becoming more needy of Mordecai's time. Calling him up in the middle of the night so he could rush out and get her something. A lot of the time it was something easy to get. Other times it was a terrible ordeal for Mordecai to pull off, but he did with very little complaining. In some ways Brick felt that Mordecai was actually enjoying it. As if it were a challenge that he was overcoming or some award awaited him for getting it accomplished.

Maybe the sex is just that good, the animal whispered in the back of his mind. There was a throb deep in his stomach, that almost made him retch. Brick fought back the urge. Mentally scolding the animal for being so unreasonable about the situation. Why shouldn't I be? The animal howled furiously. Mordecai wouldn't do that to me, Brick swallowed hard and sat back on the bed. Maybe you're right, the animal skulked through the tall grass in his mind. I mean you can't even get him to pick up his clothes off the floor without getting yelled at, but Lilith can send him on a great quest to get her Rakk eggs with out so much as a mumble.

Brick found himself unable to argue that point. The animal was right. Since the second trimester began, he and Mordecai had almost spent no time together. The only words the two of them had spoken to one another, had just been in passing. Any intimacy they shared, consisted of pecks on the cheeks and quick hugs before Mordecai was off. Anything more physically in depth was nonexistent. It had almost been six months since they had last laid together as lovers. If you still think he's not cheating on you, than you're as stupid as people say you are. The harsh words sending the retching feeling up to the tip of the throat.

Brick hadn't sleep a full night in a long time. When he closed his eyes at night, all he could see was Mordecai leaving him. Brick hadn't eaten in days. The longer it went between seeing Mordecai's face, killed his appetite. Brick hadn't showered in a long stretch either. It showed in his greasy skin and unkempt face. He was living in a miserable world of darkness and there was nothing he could do about it. You could confront them you big baby, The animal goaded him. Recently the animal was had been coming around more often. Getting more and more punchy as the loneliness wore on.

"I can't." Brick said allowed, not even sure why he did it.

Brick didn't want to confront either of them right now. With Lilith being so close to giving birth to the baby, he didn't want to cause her any undue stress. Even though that harlot is stealing your man, the animal had almost a playful tone in it's rumbling voice. Brick just shook his head, trying to urge the animal away. Brick didn't want anything to happen to the baby. It wasn't the baby's fault, that Lilith and Mordecai may be fooling around. Are fooling around! The giant black dog snapped and started bounding around in the back of his mind. It sounded like thunder echoing in his head, bringing a wave of red through his vision.

"Just stop!" Brick snapped, his voice sounding more like the animal than his own.

Fine then, stick around and watch them raise their baby. Don't stand up for yourself and just wait to be left all by yourself. You can spend the rest of your miserable life alone, watching them have a family, all because you're too chicken shit to stand up for yourself. The animal glowered and was gone from his mind, leaving that one terrible seed to grow in the gardens of his mind.

Brick closed his eyes, hot tears welled up and got tangled in his dark lashes. The thought of Brick waiting around to see Mordecai and Lilith raise their baby hurt. Everyday he would see them together, with their little baby. Flaunting their affair in his face, while he just sucked it up like a pathetic beat dog. They would be so condescendingly nice to him, saying things like 'thanks for understand, you're a true friend.'. Then they would ask him to babysit for them. Since it had been such a long time since they had spent any time together. He would do it too. Just sit there and watch the baby that could never be his.

When he opened his eyes, he looked down at his hands. They were laid out in his lap as if they had been holding the child all along. The guilt twisted in his stomach. There was no place for the anger inside of him right now. At the same time Brick didn't want to feel the guilt either. There was no other choice for him. He got up from the bed and grabbed his duffel bag from the closet.

Quick and dirty, he started throwing clothes into the bag. With no other options, he knew he had to get away. Maybe he could go to Lynchwood for a time. Rocco might welcome him back with open arms. There were always things that needed to be done there. Jobs that would keep his mind off this heartache. It would be far easier to just slip away in the night, than it would be to deal with having to confront them. It would be better not to know if they were having sex. In the back of his mind leaving was the only thing he could do. If he left, the possibility would remain a mystery. If he stayed, he would have to face the truth eventually.

Brick pulled the tie strings on the duffel bag tight and hefted the bag over his shoulder. It was now or never. But his feet wouldn't move. Each time he tried to take a step, he was paralyzed. The bag was heavy on his shoulder, but he refused to drop it. At any moment his legs would give up their resolve and into the evening he would escape. Escape the pain of what his friends may be doing behind his back. Leave Sanctuary behind for a more freer life. Free of obligations to his friends. Free from the guilt for having his emotions. Free of Mordecai and his cheating heart.

"I don't want to be free of Mordecai." He spoke, again the voice wasn't his own.

It was a voice choked with tears, that he hadn't even known filled his eyes. It was the voice of someone who was desperately in love and not ready to admit defeat. A voice that trembled at the thought of not having his lover close to him. Brick had to stay in Sanctuary, even if he couldn't be with Mordecai. As much as that thought hurt him, it paled in comparison to the pain of never seeing him again.

There was a loud crackle coming from the headset in his ear. "Hey there tall glass of muscles. Get yo ass over to Zed's double time. The baby is dropping, I repeat baby is dropping. When need a pair of big strong hands to take the package and run with it." Tina giggled through the Echo. "And we all know you're real good at handling packages."

Brick couldn't stop himself from laughing. It had been the first time in a long while since he'd laughed. It was at that moment Brick realized, that he loved Mordecai and always would. They were a family, they were all a family, just on the verge of getting bigger now. The idea of helping Lilith and Mordecai raise their baby wasn't so bad after all. Brick dropped his bag on the bed and headed out the door into the early evening light.

"You can do this Brick." He whispered to himself as he wiped away the tears from his face.

You keep lying to yourself idiot. The animal laughed, so close that he sounded like he was running up behind the large man. Brick felt the pain in his stomach return and hurried on before he lost his nerve.