Her chest burned by the time she had gotten back to the cabin. Tears clouded her vision masking every thought with the chilling pain inside of her.

Inhaling a shaky breath Brianne pressed her face to the back of the door letting out a sob that could only come from the deepest catacombs of her heart.

"What did he do to you?"

Gasping she spun around. "I-Mary..."

"He tried something didn't he!"

Jack try something? It would snow in hell before he raised his hand at her-or any woman for that matter. The woman stepped forward touching her hand to her cheek. "Why that little-I hate to say this at a time like-"

"He did nothing."

There was almost disappointment in the other woman's eyes as she stepped backwards crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh-what happened then..."

She told the whole story sobbing and blubbering like a baby. She expected Mary to comfort her or at least offer some words of support but all the other woman did was meet her with a cold hard stare. "I'm sorry to say this Brianne but it's for the best."

"For the best?"

"Men are trouble. Haven't you seen that?"

"He was not trouble."

Her blue eyes rolled. "The first one you had nearly beat you to death and now this one proposes marriage not a month after meeting you? They're mad."

"We loved each other-and he doesn't know about John."

"Still...it's best you stay away from them. Get your sentence over and go back to Belfast."

Could she really stay away from Jack? She supposed she had to now but how could she live her life without him? Mary had lived without her love...but she was so bitter now consumed in hate and darkness all from a man who had broke her heart. Would she end up like that? She had almost after she ran away from John but then she had met Jack-the light to so much darkness.

She nodded then went to bed all though there was no way she could sleep. For some reason John was the only person that came to mind as she laid there staring at the ceiling. They had started off so happy together, he had treated her fine and all though she was never madly in love with him she had looked forward to some day starting a family with him. As time went on he got crueler, more picky for little things and less willing to share a sweet word. Then she had dropped that plate...

She had been minding her business washing the dishes while John read the newspaper she had gotten distracted by something a bird or far away noise before she could snap back into reality her hand slipped dropping his mother's wedding dish.

She would never forget the feeling of his hand whipping across her face.

Perhaps Mary was right, men were trouble. It was best she kept away from them.

The church bells rang loudly that afternoon along with the joyous atmosphere so present in botany bay Australia. It wasn't every day that two people got married in a penal colony and not a frown could be found on the island.

The church was silent as the hundred odd guests waited for the blushing bride, without an organ there was no background music for the inpatient guests leaving Brianne in silence.

She had tried to be happy for Juliana and Tom O'Johnson in fact she had spent all last night awake trying to be happy for her but all Brianne could think about was what things would be like if it was her wedding. If she hadn't let her own stubborn pride and no good morals hadn't gotten in the way of her and Jack. Would her heart be filled with as much joy as her friends? Or would guilt cloud over it?

"Good morning."

Gasping she turned around meeting the rather calm eyes of Jack Dawkins. There wasn't a slice of agitation in his voice, as if it wasn't just two days ago that she had refused his marriage proposal.

"I-Good morning."

"How are you?"

"Fine." Heat rose to her cheeks. "I-and you."

"All right, I've always loved a wedding... don't you Miss. Kelly?"

Oh so there it was she should have known he wouldn't be able to keep the peace. "Jack please."

"What? Just asking you a question I am. Or maybe it's just the perspective groom you don't like."

"You know what you are doing and it's not asking be a question."

He shook his head lowering his gaze to the carpeted floor. "Well maybe I am doing what you think I'm doing but I have a bloody good excuse to."

He did, he had the perfect excuse and the perfect everything else. There was nothing more than she wanted than to marry him and he deserved the truth-yet she couldn't offer it...she just couldn't.

"It's not you."

"Well what is it then!"

The room came to an awkward silence. Glancing around Brianne met the eyes of every guest packed into saint Peter's church. Heat rose to her cheeks, quickly she turned around. "Not here Jack."

"Well where do you want to talk about it then?"

"It's me. That's it I just can't get married."

"Oh bull-"

"Jack!"

"Well..." He sighed. "Give me one good excuse why we can't get married."

It would be easy, she could just marry him and no one would hold it against her. Lots of people got remarried in Australia. Men and woman had complete other families back home and got married for a lot more cynical reasons than love. But she couldn't do it, she would know that it would be wrong-and God would know.

"I-maybe someday I can explain it to you but for now you just have to trust me that it would be wrong."

"Tell me now."

"Don't you think this isn't the most appropriate place to have this conversation?"

"No-"

The sound of a breathless gasp cut him off. Turning she spotted Juliana slowly padding down the aisle. She looked beautiful, blond hair braided behind her hair like a Dutch girl and eyes as vibrantly blue as ever. The extra pudge the girl carried in her hips and stomach was smoothed out into brash curves now draped with a mauve regency styled dress. It would be hard to hide the bride's smile with a rock it was so radiant. So much joy just from seeing the eyes of her future husband...

He didn't move during the whole ceremony nor did her attention sway from his eyes. He was so serious she noticed almost as if he missed a single piece of the ceremony life would cease to make sense. Was he really that thoughtful though? Or like her was his mind swaying to other things...

When the ceremony was finished the guests shovelled out of the small cathedral eager to head over to the bride's cabin for the after party. She had to admit it waiting for Jack before leaving her pew slowly walking to match his every step. He waited for her to walk through the door first then guided her to the side of the church.

His grip was firm on her elbow as he slowly pulled her into his chest, his lips were brushing hers now not yet kissing but close enough to be able. "Why Bree? I love you. We could make it. It might be hard but we love each other enough."

"It's not love, Jack I-it would be impossible that's all."

"They want us to get married. Create a native population or something like that." His hand strayed to hers giving it a long hard squeeze. "I can save so we can get out. It might take a few years after our sentence but if I work hard I can save enough for our fare back home."

"It's not that either...the last thing I want is to go back to Ireland."

His lips pressed together. "Bree...I saw the scars on your back is that why?"

He saw the scars...gasping she jerked away freeing herself from his hold. "You what!"

"You you ripped your blouse and I-it wasn't like I was looking or anything I just-" His lips closed. "I-if it's that then I want you to know I could never hurt you. And I'll beat up your Da for doing it."

He knew...well not the whole story but he knew some of it. That meant he knew she was damaged, that she wasn't perfect or whole. He would know her brokenness and feel her shattered remains. He knew, he knew too much...

"It wasn't my father it was my-" She shook her head backing towards the stone wall. "I have to go I-"

Before she could move he snatched her arm dragging her into his chest. "Bree." His hand reached for a red loose strand of hair. "I won't, I could never hurt you and no one has the right to. Even if...this doesn't work out I want you to know that."

She was crying now-like an idiot showing how broken she really was. "That's why, Jack. that's why I can't marry you..."

He gulped. "C-can you not have children?"

"Of course I can have children-at least I think I can...I-I want to tell you so bad but I-"

"Tell me."

Oh what she would do to be able to. But he would hate her if he found out. She had played him for the course of their relationship in the worst way a person could be played. She couldn't live if he hated her... "Oh Jack I-"

"Tell me."

"I-" She tried to stop herself but the words barged her way to the front of her mouth. The secret she had been trying so hard to smother for the last two years came bursting out of her lips in a quick unscheduled blast. "I'm married."

He let go of her as if her skin had been acid underneath his finger tips. His face paled to a ghastly white-a white she had never wanted to see on a human being especially him.

"I'm sorry I-" She burst out. "I would redo it I swear but-please don't look at me like that sweetheart..."

"You're..."

"I'm so sorry I'm so so sorry..."

He shook his head taking a step back. "You lied, you lied to me."

"I didn't want to but-"

"Just get away from me. Just-just get away from me and never get near me again you got that?"

"Jack-"

"Brianne?"

She turned meeting the eyes of the happy bride. "Juliana I-congratulations."

The woman blushed. "Thank you is everything all right here?"

He nodded. "Yes, I just realized a very big mistake. One I won't make again."