Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

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Chapter 12

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Pale blue eyes stared blankly at the Recovery room wall. Jim Kirk lay on his side on one of the recovery beds. He was simply laying there breathing softly and with his mind mulling over the many unhappy thoughts that had naturally filled his mind after the ordeal he had been through and was still recovering from. It was late afternoon now on his second day here in Sickbay. One of the Nurses had just been by to give him his cursory check-up and deliver him his lunch of the expected bland looking hospital food. He hadn't even sparred the tray that had been left on the small wheeled table the barest of glances, he had simply laid down and begun staring at the wall in relative silence.

As per his orders no one was going to come into the Recovery room until many hours had passed, until it was well into the evening hours and it would be time for dinner and his third and final check-up of the day. To his grim satisfaction Bones had obeyed him and made himself quite scarce and the members of his senior staff, mainly a certain half-Vulcan First Officer had wisely not come to see him though he knew full well that they were all dying to visit him and stutter out their apologies to him.

Jim Kirk dismissed the thought, he wasn't ready to face his crew and he sure as hell wasn't ready to hear apology after apology, not now at least.

And so for the better part of an hour after his lunch had been served, Jim just laid there staring at the wall and wonder what he was going to do now. He knew full well that he couldn't just go back to work, there was no way anyone would find him not emotionally compromised. Along with his work life in limbo there was also his personally life, Bones had been and probably always would be his best friend, Spock was his First Officer, and if he was honest with himself he still had feelings for the half-Vulcan. Ten months worth of a relationship may have been shattered, but the abrupt destruction hadn't dissolved all the feelings that were there. Jim still loved that ever logical, pointy-eared hobgoblin despite how badly things had turned out between them. Then there was the rest of the crew from Uhura, to Scrotty, Sulu, and Chekov. The way they had acted was damn near insubordination and he still had a hard time wrapping his head around how they could've behaved so foolishly on a star ship, the flag ship of Starfleet itself. Jim was beyond disappointed in them, especially the older members Scotty, Uhura, and Sulu. Surely they would've known better than to act the way they did, glaring at their Captain or being so stiff and stand offish the entire bridge could see it, or actually getting up and leaving entirely without so much as acknowledging their Captain when he'd come onto the bridge to start the day. Jim left Chekov out because the guy was in fact still a teenager, a kid who would naturally go with the flow of majority. And he hadn't actually behaved badly, he'd simply looked uncomfortable if Jim's memory served him correctly.

At this rate Jim Kirk was going to spend the rest of the day thinking about why and how he had found himself in such a situation, but as fate would have it that was not the case as a soft chime from the closed Recovery room door yanked the young man out of his dark thoughts.

Jim first looked over his shoulder before pushing himself up to a sitting position on the bed. Wondering who it was because the Nurse had just been in Jim lightly cleared his throat before speaking louder.

" Enter." He said to the Enterprise's computer.

With a soft chirp the door to the Recovery room slid open with a soft hiss, revealing the familiar face that stood behind it.

" Ambassador A'tal." Said Jim softly as he gazed at the weathered, scaly face of the kind Antarian elder. Seeing this highly respected delegate had Jim Kirk slowly but surely climbing to his feet with a small grimace. He was still sore in some rather embarrassing places. But he gritted his teeth and stood up for the old man none the less.

Once he was standing Jim watched as Ambassador A'tal quietly stepped into the room. The young Captain of the Enterprise felt a jolt go through him when he realized that the Ambassador had not come to see him alone, a young lady with striking red hair silently stepped into the Recovery room close behind the Antarian elder. Jim took one look at the woman and knew instantly who she had been.

The amber eyed woman who had saved him from imminent death at the hands of It'vek just days ago.

Jim took an unconscious step forward and quickly focused his eyes on the Ambassador so that he wouldn't look like he was gawking at the red-head.

The three of them came to stand in the open areas of the room, Captain Kirk by the bed, Ambassador A'tal facing Kirk and arms length, and to Kirk the still nameless woman who he owed his life to stood a few feet away from them both. It was Ambassador A'tal who spoke first.

" Good afternoon Captain Kirk, I trust that you are recovering well from your harrowing ordeal?" He asked softly while his weathered gray eyes quietly looked the young man who stood before him over.

" I am recovering as well as can be expected Ambassador. I am always happy to be in your company sir." Answered Jim with a wane smile.

" I am glad to hear of that much, but I find myself feeling quite ashamed as I stand here before you Captain Kirk, and we all know why." Said A'tal gravely.

Jim averted his gaze to the floor for a moment and nodded his head in silent agreement before bringing his gaze back up to meet the elder Antarian's gaze.

" Captain, I have personally come to inform you that the other delegates and I have all come to an agreement and signed off on the treaty with the Federation for the vaccines that are needed in the Colneck system. It was the least we could do after the shameful acts one of our own committed against you." Said A'tal.

" Thank you sir." Said Jim quietly.

A'tal nodded and then spoke.

" Oh and, I took the liberty of bringing along the young lady behind me, we were both very eager to see you." Said A'tal with a small smile as he looked over his shoulder to the red-head.

Jim felt a smile tugging at the corners of his own lips, a warm feeling spreading through him as the red head wordlessly stepped forward to join them.

It was Jim who spoke first.

" I remember you quite vividly, but I'd feel better if I could have your name." Said Jim as he took a step closer to the woman.

" I am Lt. Mirna Bansali. It is a pleasure to meet you under less dire circumstances sir." Said Lt. Bansali quietly.

" Likewise Lieutenant." Answered Kirk as he held out his hand to the woman and gave it a hearty shake, a part of him wanted to just pull her into a tight hug and not let go for a long time but he thought better of it, that would not have be very professional of him, he was a Captain after all. He convey his gratitude to her through his words then.

And so for the better part of the remaining hours of the afternoon Jim Kirk allowed himself to enjoy the company of the elder Antarian Ambassador and the young Lieutenant who had saved his life. They shared an easy conversation with each other and nearly lost track of time. Jim felt lighter with having simply talked to someone, anyone even though he hadn't exactly broached the proverbial elephant in the room it still felt nice to get a few smaller things off his chest. And it gave him a chance to thank and get to know the young woman who had stopped It'vek from murdering him.

He found out that she herself was leaving the Star base and heading back to Earth in a few days. She had been temporarily assigned here after several members of the Star bases surveillance staff had come down with a strange virus that turned out to me Gestaltian Flu, nasty but not life threatening. Perhaps it really had been fate that she had been the one in the video security room that day. Now she said she was going back to the Academy to retake her position there.

As a combat instructor.

Before they all knew it nearly three hours had passed by and Jim had somehow in the course of that eaten his lunch which he had set out to ignore. The Ambassador may have had a subtle hand in that endeavor.

With great reluctance the Ambassador and the Lieutenant both stood to tae their leave of the Captain.

But before he left, Ambassador A'tal gave Jim some parting words.

" The road ahead of you will be difficult Captain Kirk, and though I know full well that you are far from any semblance of fine I know that you will ultimately recover from all that had happened. And this old man requests that you allow yourself time to heal and remember that none of this is your fault before you even think of taking the first steps towards forgiving those who had wronged you, and you know full well of which individuals I speak of. But for now all I can say is that I wish you all the best, and that I am sorry, more sorry then I have ever been in all my years."

Then the Ambassador had ducked away before Jim could give him a response and tell the elder that he had nothing to apologize for.

Lt. Bansali simply nodded her head and gave him a smile, albeit a sad one before she too left.

Jim Kirk now found himself alone once again, with only his own thoughts to keep him company. He still had no idea where he was going to go from here and what he was going to do with both his professional and his personal lives.

Two days later...

Commander Spock sighed softly to himself where he sat in the Captain's chair on board the USS Enterprise. He was now acting Captain of the ship and at the moment they were going through the standard disengaging procedures that would detach the Enterprise from it's anchoring to the Star base. It had been nearly a week since the real Captain of the Enterprise had been viciously attacked by a perverted Antarian Ambassador. At the moment James T. Kirk was still in Sickbay recovering from the horrible incident, Dr. McCoy deciding to keep him there for a little longer as the infection he had been suffering from was slowly clearing up.

Everyone on board was subdued and worried about the Captain. Dr. McCoy had not left Sickbay once even though Captain Kirk had not wanted to see hide or head from him. The day before orders had come in from Starfleet Command. After verifying with an unhappy Dr. McCoy that Captain Kirk was more than stable enough for travel, Command had told Spock that they still had a mission that needed to be completed. They still needed to get the much need Vaccines given by the Antarian government delivered to Starfleet outpost 39 in the Colneck system.

After that was done Spock couldn't help but be uncertain as to what would happen.

Spock could still feel a ghost of sting to his cheek from Jim's emotional outburst. The blow itself was a minor hurt, but the internal hurt that it had stirred up had been a great deal, Spock had to admit to himself but at the moment he shook himself out of his thought of the situation his personal life he now found himself in. He instead focused all his mind on the task at hand. He was acting Captain after all and there was a mission that needed to be completely.

With that in mind Commander Spock straightened up in the Captain's chair and took a quiet glance about the Enterprise's main bridge. Lt. Uhura worked diligently at her communications station, her appearance was more subdued like her mood, she wasn't wearing much makeup and her ears were devoid of the large earrings that usually adorned them proudly. At his console Scotty sat completely still which in itself didn't look right because the man was usually near bouncing with energy, now he sat there working with his mouth held in an unhappy line with none of the animation his entire face usually held. And finally, at the ship's helm Ensign Chekov and Lt. Sulu sat in silence, their fingers rapidly moving over their consoles as they prepared to pilot the ship once it was no longer anchored. They usually had an easy banter going about them but now there was nothing, just a subdued looking Lieutenant and a downright sad looking Ensign.

It was quite clear that everyone was missing a certain blond haired, blue eyed, charismatic Captain of theirs.

Then there was a loud sound, like the hiss of a suction being pulled off followed by the sound of metal slowly retracting. It was the signal that the USS Enterprise had successfully parted from the Star base dock.

With that in mind Commander Spock turned his dark eyed gaze to the two individuals sitting before him at the Conn.

" Mr. Chekov, please set coordinates for the Colneck system." He order flatly.

" Aye sir, laying in coorse now." Acknowledged Chekov, then a few second later he turned to Spock and spoke again.

" Coorse haze bin layed in Sir."

" Thank you Mr. Chekov. Mr. Sulu." Called Spock.

" Yes sir?" Asked Sulu.

" Take us out of here, warp factor 3. We have an urgent delivery to make." Ordered Spock as he sat back a little in the chair.

" Aye sir, warp factor 3" Acknowledged Sulu.

A few second later the ship jerked as it entered warp and disappeared into the vastness of space, leaving the Star base behind. As the stars all blurred past them on the screen, Spock's mind drifted unbidden to the more serious issues at hand. And for all who were on duty on the main bridge and through out the whole ship there was a universal thought in their minds.

It was going to be a very long four days to the Colneck system.

Very long.