Murphy's Law:

Everything that can go wrong, will.

Unless you're Katniss. Because EVERYTHING ends up well when you're her.

- Anonymous

Chapter 4:

Peeta Take Two

"And the male tribute issss…."

Hmmm…what kind of bread should I make today?

"isssssss…."

Huh…should I follow Katniss home when this is over? Maybe she's gotten over her fear of guys!

"isssss…."

I mean, all guys besides Gale, but they're related so that's fine.

"Peeta Mellark!"

They could practically be twins they look so—

"What?"

"Peeta Mellark!"

The peacekeepers started moving towards him, but before they could touch him Peeta started walking towards the stage.

Alright Peeta, you can win this. You have mad flour throwing skills, and a baby soft face. This will be a piece of cake. The careers won't know what hit them…my cakes will totally defeat them! Mwahahahaha..

"Primrose Everdeen!"

Katniss's sister? Eh, true love conquers all, Katniss will still love me when I come back.

Peeta was feeling prettyconfident in his grad plan, until….

"I VOLUNTEER!"

"NOOO!" Peeta screeched. How am I going to get her to love me if I kill her?!

"NOOO!" Gale grunted. I really wanted to take her to the slag heap….oh well.

"NOOO!" Madge cried. That stupid arrow-wielding muffinface! She better not touch Peeta! I'll CUT YOU, WITCH WITH A B!

"That's wonderful! Give a round of applause to Katniss Everdeen!"

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"Alright, now we have our tributes from—"

"Wait!"

"Yes, what is it Katniss?" Smile. Effie bent down in her ridiculous pink bikini, whispering, "the camera's on peasant. Make me look good."

Katniss shuddered. Did they do laser eyes in the Capitol?

"Well, I have a few things to say before we leave."

"Go right ahead!" Smile. Teeth.

"Gale—I always knew you wanted to get in my pants. Never gonna happen"

He shrugged.

"I'd rather date bread boy here than you!"

Madge screamed and attempted to make her way to the stage in order to maul Katniss. She was held back only by her father grabbing her luscious blonde hair.

"Madge, I know you had a lesbian crush on me, but that's never gonna happen either"

Madge stared.

"Actually, I know all of you are probably in love with me no matter how mean and anti-social I am, so I'll say it now. I am asexual. I am a brick wall. Sticks and stones can break my bones but arrows can shoot through your heart in a second. So there"

Murmurs broke out in the crowd, before one person said—

"Huh, I like her"

Which was followed by—

"I like her, too!"

"She's so cool!"

"So straightforward!"

"So hot!"

"I just wanna pull on that braid and—"

It just descended from there. The crowd started getting rowdier.

As the peacekeepers led Peeta and Katniss away she turned back one last time.

"STOP LOVING ME! I HATE YOU ALL!"

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End.

Part Two, haha.

Funny? NO? Tell me!

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.ReViEw.