A/N: I wrote this while listening to American Dream by MKTO, listen to it, I love it! Sorry about the terribleness I was feeling really sick.
You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
You say "Hi" to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way
He could remember his first day at NCIS. He had not known anyone. They had all been lovely to him, welcoming. Kate was nice. Tony had joked with him and ribbed him from day one, but he now knew it was a sign of affection. Gibbs had been Gibbs, stern, leading, kind. And Abby ... she had, well she had been simply the best. Excitable, caring, charming, lovely, amazing, fantastic, sympathetic, the list that described past Abby could go on and on forever. Now she was still like that, on the surface that was, look a little deeper and you saw pain, suffering, torment, self-loathing.
Being different made McGee nervous, he much preferred to stay holed up in Norfolk than with all these new people in Washington. Abby had helped to ease the transition, then she had destroyed his life.
'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Feeling like there's nothing to figure out
It had all been wrong, but at the time it felt nothing but completely right. To him it had seemed like they loved each other, well that turned out to be one sided, but again, back then he was none the wiser. Thinking back he could not remember her ever saying it seriously. Of course she had joked, that was just who she was, she said it to everyone. It was not reserved for him.
You sit in class next to red-headed Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
After it all ended, Ziva arrived and then she was the new kid on the block. He was part of the team and she was the outsider, Jenny Shepard had also been an outsider, he previous connection to Gibbs not easing the transition at all. In a way Ziva and Tony became his best friends. McGee would spend everyday with them, that was except for on the days off, he even went out with them after work sometimes. That was something he had never really done with people before.
When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
His time with Abby had been simply wonderful! They spent many amazing days together. It felt like life was complete, he had everything he had ever dreamed of having as a child: a great job, friends, a lovely girlfriend to dote upon, perhaps even a future family with said girlfriend. Everything. It made him want to kick his past self so hard! He had been so stupid, he had imagined a life not even thinking that there was a possibility that real life was not like that. Real life was unfair, it would find every hope, dream and gleeful whispering and destroy it in a heartbeat.
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind
And we both cried
McGee had thought that he would spend the rest of his life with Abby. In a way he was right, they saw each other every day at work, but he had still been naïve. One day in search of comfort he had blindly turned up at Ziva's apartment where they both got incredibly drunk and poured their heartbroken souls out to each other.
Don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
Spending time getting over the past was certainly one way to spend your life. The other day he realized that the saying 'time heals' is a very common misconception, time does not heal, it only lessens the pain of the wound, it lessened the suffering but does not completely stop it.
Your very first day
You take a deep breath, girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors.