The doorbell of Caleb and Jess' apartment rang around half past eleven pm. Caleb was still in deep thought on the balcony, smoking cigarettes and cigarettes, so Jess went to open the door. And she knew who it was.
In fact, Hanna appeared on the doorway. Jess just rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Hi... I'm sorry if I'm showing up at this time, but I'm worried about Caleb. He hasn't returned my calls, and I knew that today something happened at the mall, and..." Hanna started, but Jess cut her off.
"Caleb got fired."
Hanna swallowed hard.
"Seriously?" she murmured.
Jess raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, so she nodded at her. Hanna bit hard her lower lip and shook her head in disbelief.
"God, this shouldn't have happened..." she murmured.
"I totally agree with you, you know? My brother is like losing his head. He's being a little crazy lately. He thinks he's in love, then he punches a guy, then he loses his job... He's being a stupid little guy. He has never been like this. And honestly, I think that's because or you... You're having a really bad influence on him."
"Look, I'm really sorry for what happened, but... I don't think that's like that. Caleb punched Noel because he was jealous, okay, but you can't just accuse me like it's my fault. Let me just see him, please."
"It is your fault. Caleb soon will be thirty, and he can't keep playing with stupid chicks like you who make him screw his job up. Leave him alone."
"Caleb and I are not playing. We're trying to build something together." Hanna replied, raising her voice.
Jess didn't have the right to talk that way.
"Right... You're in love with each other?" Jess asked sarcastically.
Hanna bit her lip and lowered her gaze.
"I can't say we are, but..." she started, but Jess interrupted her.
"You look like a teenager, you know? Caleb doesn't need this in his life."
"Could Caleb be the one who decides that? I don't care what you think, Jess, honestly I don't give a shit about that. I care about what he thinks. And I really need to see him right now. I swear that if he tells me he doesn't need me or anything, I'll go and I will never come back again. But he has to be the one who tells me... Not you. Thanks." Hanna stated with decision, pretty angry.
Jess sighed and let her in, then closed the door and went to knock on the window of the balcony to catch Caleb's attention. When Caleb noticed Hanna, he nodded at Jess, who gave one last look at Hanna and then went to the bedroom, closing the door behind her back. Caleb toss his nth cigarette and then came back inside, where Hanna was waiting for him, scared of the fact that he could have been angry with her for some reason.
"I'm so sorry, Caleb..." she stammered when he was in front of her.
Caleb gave her a small smile and then gestured to the couch.
"Have a seat." he said, almost in a whisper.
Hanna sat on the couch and he sat next to her.
"Why did you punch Noel? What did he say?" she asked.
"Bullshit. A lot of. Well... To be honest, I came up to him saying that he had to stay away from you. From then, he started saying some kind of things about you and... And eventually, I totally lost it. He deserved that punch. If I could come back, I'd do the same again."
"I told you it wasn't a big deal. You didn't have to warn him about me."
"Maybe I didn't have to, you're probably right. Because we're not even together."
Hanna raised her eyebrows at his reply.
"That's not what I meant..." she commented.
"But that's the truth."
Hanna stared at him, a little confused.
"Do you agree with Jess? You're mad at me?" she asked then.
"No, no... Of course not. Jess is exaggerated, don't mind about her."
"But maybe what happened it's partly my fault, maybe your sister has actually a point..."
"Hanna... It's not your fault. At all. I lost my job because I've been a stupid, you don't have any fault in this."
"Then... Why do I feel like there's something wrong right now between us?"
Caleb bit his bottom lip and let out a deep sigh. Hanna knew that there was something, and his reaction was convincing her even more. Then, he took her hand between both of his and looked at her intensely as he started talking.
"Listen... Those days with you... They were... Amazing. Totally. It was awesome to meet you and to get to know you. It was a huge treat to me. You're special, Hanna. Look, you should know that all the things I told you were true. I never lied to you. That's why you need to know something right now. I never lied to you and I'm not gonna lie to you now either, even though this is really hard for me to tell you. But... Now that I don't have the job at the mall anymore, there's nothing else which keeps me bounded to LA. And as much as I love having fun, I have to recognize that I'm almost thirty and that I can't just keep pretending that I'm twenty. I need to grow up and find my stability. I need a new job, but not just that. I need a new life. I have to start over, and... Jess can easily find me a job in San Diego. She owns a company. That's my opportunity. So... I'm moving to San Diego with her. We're gonna sell this apartment and then we'll leave together, probably next week. I think that's the best decision."
Hanna could swear to feel her heart break as soon as he said 'I'm moving'.
"What about me?" she whispered, as the tears started filling her big blue eyes.
Caleb sighed and tried hard not to look into her eyes to see her pain.
"Hanna... We... We tried. I told you that maybe I couldn't have been what you needed, and... And it's like that. I can't stay in LA just because I'm trying to be with you, because I would probably be your worst choice. I'm not totally ready, and most of all you deserve someone better than me. You deserve a guy who's ready to commit to you and give you stability... I... I don't have a stability for myself, how could I give a stability to you? Believe me, all the things I told you were true, I thought I was falling for you, but... But I can't be sure and this is not enough to keep me here. I'm sorry, but... I can't be the man for you. I hope you can understand." he murmured.
Hanna closed her eyes and bit hard her bottom lip, as a few tears fell from the corner of her eyes. Caleb felt very bad at that sight, and he lifted his hands to her face to wipe her tears away.
"Hey, don't cry... Please..." he whispered.
Hanna sniffed and shook her head.
"I don't want you to leave. You... You can stay here, you can find a new job and I'm gonna help you to, but... You don't have to move to San Diego, Caleb. Please, don't..." she sobbed.
"I should have moved there a long time ago, but... I didn't want to leave my 'funny' life here. But now it's time to..."
"I wanted this to stop when I thought that something was happening between us, but you convinced me not to... You told me you felt sick at the thought of losing me, and now you want to leave me... What the hell is wrong with you, Caleb?" Hanna yelled.
"I'm sorry, Hanna... This is not easy for me, but... I think it's what I have to do right now. We were good, weren't we? Everything was amazing, so we can just end it in a good way." Caleb said, trying to sound convincent.
"You can't talk like this... Is it because of Jess? She convinced you that I'm having a bad influence on you?"
"No, Hanna. I've already told you this, she can say whatever she wants about you, but you know I don't agree with her. But I agree with her when she says that I need to grow up, that's why I have to go to San Diego with her and start working there."
"Is there really nothing I can do to make you change your mind?"
The look in Hanna's eyes at that question almost made Caleb's heart melt. Her eyes were puffy and watery, she looked like a puppy about to be abandoned in the middle of the street. He felt really bad, but he knew that Hanna didn't deserve a guy like him. He had to leave her, try to build his own life and to let her live hers. He swallowed and took again her hands in his, smiling softly at her.
"You've been the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me, and nothing can ever change this. Hanna... We gave each other a little time to try, but my time is over, and I think I can't be the one who makes you happy. I wish you only the best. And... Thank you for these wonderful days." he said, trying not to cry.
"But... Can I be the one who decides who makes me happy? I want you to stay... Give us a little time more, there isn't any need for you to leave right now, right? Please, Caleb..."
Caleb shook his head.
"You shouldn't waste your time with me. I'm a guy who fools around, who doesn't have a job anymore, who likes to be a guy of twenty years old and not a man of thirty. You can easily find a thousand guys better than me." he said.
"You decided to change, though. Why don't you try to grow up here with me instead of going to San Diego?"
Caleb sighed.
"Because... There's still this part of me which isn't ready to commit to a woman, Hanna. I never made you promises because I knew I probably couldn't have kept them, and..." he started, but Hanna cut him off.
"Right. That's my fault. You've always made it clear you didn't want anything serious... I've been the stupid here, because I thought you were different. But you're not. You're just like the other guys. I've been just one of your many little sluts..."
"You've been so much more than that and you know it."
"Really? Then why are you leaving? You've been interested in nothing but my pussy from day one!"
"At first, maybe yes. Maybe that was the only thing on my mind about you. But you knew it, and you were interested in just sex too at the beginning, am I wrong? But then... Then we both have changed our minds. There was more than physical attraction... And, again, it was beautiful to spend all of this time together, but... Look, Hanna, I'm so sorry. I'm a stupid who doesn't even know what he wants. And that's why it's better for us to part our ways. I need to grow up and you need a nice guy by your side. But, please, remember that I never lied to you and that I loved every single moment we spent together. I feel like crap because of the way we're saying goodbye to each other right now, because actually I'd like to kiss you one last time. But I know it would be too much. So... Please, Hanna, try to be happy and don't cry for me, because I don't deserve your tears."
And with that, Caleb got up from the couch and planted a brief kiss on Hanna's forehead as she remained motionless, crying, and then he went to the balcony without looking behind.
Hanna knew it was time to leave his apartment. She looked at Caleb through the window, his back turned at her, noticing he was pulling out the nth cigarette to smoke, and before he could lighten it, she was already out of the door in tears.
Home seemed too far from there, and she thought she couldn't drive that way, so instead of getting in the car and reach her house, she walked in the club in front of Caleb's house. It was the club of the mall's party, the place where she and Caleb had kissed the first time, the place where everything had started. She got in and immediately walked to the counter, asking for a strong cocktail. She needed to get drunk. Not to think about how much she had been stupid to believe that Caleb was actually different, to let things go further than sex... Just everything. She needed alcohol in her veins to forget and not to think, at least for a few hours.
She didn't blame Aria for telling her to go on with Caleb. Because it wasn't Aria who really made her go on. It was herself. She wanted it too, she had wanted Caleb from the first moment. From the moment he saw him outside her store to say that he was sorry about the 'zipper accident', well, from that moment she knew that with him it wouldn't have been just sex. The way he smiled had always made her knees weak, the way he touched her wasn't just hot but also gentle, all his gentleman ways had made her feel better with him day by day. She had really thought he was different, she had really believed he was falling for her like she was falling for him, she had really believed it wasn't just sex for him either.
But, God, she had been wrong.
He got tired of her, so he was leaving her. Like every guy. He got tired of her body.
But why the hell did he even lose his job just to punch some perv who was saying rude things about her? If he really didn't care, he could have just laughed at that. But he hadn't done it. He had punched him instead, hard, and then he had lost his job. For her.
She couldn't explain herself everything. She just needed to stop thinking about him. He was leaving, he was a jerk. He was just the nth failure of her romantic life. A guy like all the guys.
"Caleb, don't you come to bed?" Jess asked, walking to the balcony where Caleb was still standing with another cigarette.
It was four in the morning, and Caleb was there smoking since nine 'o clock in the evening of the previous day. Jess hadn't asked anything when she had seen Hanna running away from their apartment in tears, but she knew that Caleb wasn't good about it.
"I'm okay here." he replied.
"You should stop smoking."
"And you should go to sleep."
Jess sighed and came closer to him.
"What happened with her?" she asked, not saying her name.
"Don't worry, she won't keep me here. I know you hate her."
"I don't hate her, it's just that I don't really like her. I mean, she made you go a little too nervous since you lose your job for her."
"It wasn't her fault. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about her. I don't know what we had but it's over now, and I'm coming to San Diego with you."
"She looked upset when she left."
"She was. Well, she'll get over it. She could have a thousand guys. But again, I don't wanna talk about her."
"You never wanna talk about her. The day I walked on you two here, you said you didn't wanna talk about her, but then you told me you thought you were falling for her..."
Caleb sighed and shook his head.
"Look, Jess... You're right. I need a big change in my life. And a new town with a new job is the best way to change, but most of all to grow up. My life has always been a complete mess. I've never had a firm point, a stability... Just nothing. Hanna was special, she was different from all the other girls I've met, I really thought I was falling for her, but... I can refuse for the nth time to grow up just for her, for a girl. I've never had a girlfriend, and I don't think that trying something serious with Hanna right now is a good idea. I'd probably be a bad boyfriend, she doesn't deserve it and I don't want to commit not knowing what would be like. I don't wanna risk. I don't wanna be like a teenager who doesn't want to go to work just because of his little crush. I don't have anything here, there's just her, but still, she's not enough to keep me here. I prefer to come with you to San Diego trying to finally be a man and reset everything that my life has been until now. Hanna included." he blurted out.
Jess nodded slowly.
"So... You're not in love with her?" she asked after a few seconds of silence.
"No. I'm not in love with her." Caleb replied, taking a long drag of his cigarette.
"Are you sure?"
"Jess, what the hell do you want?" he shouted then, a little nervous.
"Just to be sure that you're ready to leave. I don't want you to come with me and then regret it. I'm gonna offer you a job there, and you should know that when you'll have it, you won't be able to say 'No, thanks' and then come back here to your Hanna. When I told you to grow up, I also meant that you have to be sure about what you really want."
Caleb sighed and blew out his cigarette.
"I'm moving to San Diego and I'm not coming back. End of the story." he stated, with decision.
A/N: Hi everyone! Tough chapter, I know :( I also know that you all are disappointed for Caleb's act, but... Well, let's see what happens next ;) Anyway, I want to say that I know I haven't updated "Yours Are The Sweetest Eyes I've Ever Seen" in a while, but I'll update again soon. That story will be shorter than my other ones so I'm going slower with that, plus I wanted to focus more on this story and "Back to the Basement". Oookay, so... A big thank you to the reviewers of the last chapter (Mel2198, Pllspobyhaleb, princessveronica722 and the others three guests) :)Means a lot :) Also, when "The Mall" will be over (I don't know when, but there aren't too many chapters left), I think I'm gonna write another Haleb AU. One of my guests kinda requested me a prompt in which Hanna was Caleb's secretary or something like that, and I like the idea... I was thinking about Caleb as a married (yeah, m-a-r-r-i-e-d!) dentist and Hanna as his younger secretary, who of course is not his wife ;) Do you guys like the idea? Let me know :D Oh, and I wanted to recommend you all an amazing Haleb AU, "Leather And Silk", written by the amazing SereneCalamity, which is my current favorite story ;) If you haven't already checked it, just GO! :) Sorry for the little rant, thanks for reading! And, as always, if you leave a review I'll be extra-happy :D xx -Atramea.