Author's Note: Alright peeps, this is when you find out what I want to do with the ending. I know some of you want me to write a piece where Blaine doesn't die, which I might do as a one-shot later, but first read this, check out where I'm going with this ending, and let me know if you'd still like me to write something where he does live. Thank you again so much for all your reviews and your tears over this fic, this emotional roller coaster is nearly finished.
Now let us continue!
*WARNING* MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Triggers for deployment, death of a loved one, depression, minor thought of suicide and strong language.
Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.
~C.J.
(Chapter 11)
Kurt tried. He really did. The days after David and the other soldiers flew back home, Kurt really did try to get out of bed. His time spent with Blaine's army buddies, he thought it was going to help him. Meeting Blaine's friends, hearing the wonderful stories they had of his husband, it should have healed a part of him. At least, he thought it would. Kurt had listened to every memory and instance of heroism his Blaine had been apart of, letting himself smile for the first time in months because…BLAINE. He always knew he married an amazing man, but the get together at Breadstix had just reminded him of what he'd already known.
While David had said not everyone had been able to attend Blaine's funeral, he didn't specify how big a group he was referring to. When Kurt had stepped into the restaurant, there were literally tables upon tables of soldiers and army personnel waiting inside. If he hadn't of seen it for himself, he wouldn't have believed it. He had shaken each and every one of their hands, Kurt standing in a room full of selfless men and women that wished to pay their respects to his Blaine.
They ate, they talked, and some even got up on stage to share their own story about Kurt's husband. The widower himself had even been pushed up on stage by an insistent Wes, thanking them for their kind words and generosity, not even able to get through his speech without a tear falling down his cheek. That night he had gone home with more fond memories, his mind swimming with images of Blaine helping someone, making them smile, his goofy laugh. Kurt will always admit that had been a good day. But then he went home, he went to sleep, and worst of all…he woke up again.
No one has heard from Kurt in weeks. Everyone rings his home, rings his cellphone, but he doesn't pick up for anyone. His friends are ignored, his family, and he doesn't pick up when the University checks to see when he's coming back to work. Rachel hasn't gone back to New York yet, deciding to stay with Finn and the Hummels while they take care of Queen. Cooper tried to say goodbye before he headed back to the Big Apple, but his knocks on the door were met with silence, not even a rustled curtain or flickered light to signal that Kurt acknowledged his presence. The Broadway actor took the hint though, deciding it was better to give him space to grieve. God knows he needed it too.
The Andersons gave it a shot as well, but were met with much the same outcome. Not wanting to overstep their boundaries, they'd decided to leave it at that, knowing their relationship with Kurt wasn't the most solid of ones. Rachel however…Rachel was done with being in the background. Her friend was in a bad place, a really bad place, and she'd never forgive herself if she let him shut her out a second time. She dug up the numbers she needed and called for reinforcements. These may not be people who are in her inner most circle, but if they cared for Kurt, then she was willing to work together with them to help her best friend. Flights were booked, emergency house keys were stolen/borrowed from Finn, and a plan was put into motion. Kurt may think he's going to alone for the rest of his life, but the truth is, he didn't have to be.
"I swear Berry, if you hadn't of called me I would have been down in the next couple of days anyway."
"What's stopped you from coming sooner?"
Santana rolled her eyes, "Our boy, and Brittney. If she hadn't of been the one to answer your call, I would still be there with them. But she assured me that this HAS to be done, right now, and I couldn't argue."
"She okay to take care of him by herself? It would have been no problem bringing them." Sugar said, not at all bothered by the idea of paying for extra people's flights.
"Her parents are helping out too, and I needed to get down here anyways. I didn't get to make it to Blaine's funeral, or that weird get together David and Wes arranged. Visiting Blaine's grave was the first thing I did when I got here. Brittney even gave me a letter she wrote to him in crayon." She snorted, smiling fondly when speaking about her wife.
Rachel butt in, coming up the porch steps to the Anderson-Hummel home. "Ladies, enough talk about things other than Kurt. I brought you two here because he is in trouble. He hasn't made a peep into the outside world in nearly a month. I just talked to his next-door neighbor, and she said that the only time she's seen him is when he met a grocery delivery guy at the front door ONCE."
"Well at least we know he came out for food." Sugar provided.
"Must I reiterate the 'once' part? Who knows if he's even taking care of himself? Kurt can't live the rest of his life as a person who simply exists to exist. It's not who he is."
Santana strangely found herself agreeing with the annoying Jewish girl, "As much as it pains me to agree with this chittering dwarf, I do. Agree that is. I'd like to think if the roles were reversed, Kurt and Blaine would have done the same for Brittney. Porcelain needs us, and that's the only reason I am talking to you losers."
Rachel stared at her, "Anyways, his neighbor also said something weird."
"Like what?"
"She said that he's been blasting music on and off throughout the weeks. It's just the same artist though, over and over, Katy Perry of all people."
Sugar tilted her head, "Why is that weird?"
"Because Kurt doesn't like Katy Perry. He's always preferred Gaga over that Candy Queen." It was said in a 'duh' sort of tone.
"But Blaine did." Santana explained, staring up at her friends' quaint little house. "Blaine loved Katy Perry."
"Oh no." Rachel fished the keys from her coat pocket to quickly unlock the house, not bothering to knock and alert Kurt that he had visitors. Once the girls were inside, it was quite apparent that their friend didn't muddle around the downstairs area of his house very much. The plants have been dead for some time and it's obvious the floors and windows haven't been cleaned, nor has there been any dusting happening. Books, CDs, a knick-knack or two, and a few articles of clothing (including a stray blanket) were strewn about his living room. The girls found the state of the house to be kind of depressing, the room looking as if it had been abandoned and already uninhabited.
Sugar wrapped her arms around herself, her friend's home feeling cold and unwelcoming for the first time since they've reconnected. "This does not feel like my Kurtsie's home." She said shakily, not wanting to admit that it REALLY did feel like someone died there.
"You'd think the guy would at least hire a maid." Santana said sarcastically, ignoring the way the other two stared at her. She dealt with loss in her own way, and that didn't involve being a sniveling anything in front of anyone. Her grief is her own, and she doesn't apologize for the way she deals with what she feels.
"Santana! How can you so insensiti—"
"Shh!" The female sergeant held up a hand, listening to a voice she heard coming from upstairs. "Do you hear that?"
The two listened. "Is that…?"
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I'd be losing you
"God, no."
In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
"He isn't."
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
"FUCK!"
I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on (Whoa)
All three girls damn near sprinted up the stairs, the ones in heels hopping on one of their legs as they removed their shoes because no one had time to be face planting on their scurry up the stairs.
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
They saw you downtown singing the Blues
It's time to face the music
I'm no longer your muse
But even with that, once they reached the upstairs hallway, Sugar slipped on the hall rug in their haste. Rachel helping her up and Santana grumbling about the ditzy rich chick. The Broadway star rolled her eyes, not understanding how Kurt was actually friends with this woman.
In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
The three women finally came to the room where the music was coming from, Rachel hurrying to push open the door when, "it's locked. Oh my God, it's locked! I-I don't have a key for that."
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
"Oh move over, Man Hands." Santana pushed her aside, yanking a visible hairpin from the rich girl's head before squatting before the door and jiggling the pin in the lock.
The one (The one)
"Ow!" Sugar griped, clutching her hair and pouting. "Why didn't you just use one of yours?!"
The o-o-o-o-o-one (The one)
"Because I only carry razorblades in my hair." She said bluntly, continuing to pick the lock.
Oh, the one, the one, the one, the one
"This is taking too long." Rachel huffed, reaching into her purse to riffle through her wallet, fixing the strap over her shoulder once she got the item she needed. She then jimmied her credit card into the crack of the door where the lock was, jigging the knob until the card slipped past and prevented the door from being clicked closed. The girl hmphed at them, pushing the door open successfully and sticking the card back into her purse.
All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I should've told you what you meant to me (Whoa)
'Cause now I pay the price
The sergeant stood back up, irritated. "Well I could have done that."
"Then why didn't you?" Sugar asked innocently.
In another life!
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
Santana was about to snark something back, when Rachel shushed them, redirecting the other two towards the inside of Kurt and Blaine's room. If they thought the living room was bad, it was nothing compared to the bedroom.
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The dressers were left open, clothes hanging out and strewn about the floor. The closet was open too and it wasn't hard to guess that most of the items spread about the room were Blaine's. There were a few wrappers amongst the articles of clothing, as well as various kinds of bottles. The bed was unmade, blankets and pillows hanging off it while the same debris and several open shoeboxes were spread out across the mattress. There were papers—their letters to each other—littering the already cluttered bedroom floor.
The one that got away-y-y-y-y…oOoh!
The one
It was a train wreck, to say the least. But the room wasn't the worst part. It was Kurt. In a little corner of the room, where the spot was clean of any items, Kurt sat huddled with his back against the wall. His chestnut hair was an unwashed mess, his eyes were red-rimmed with dark shadows under them, and his fingers were absently playing with a bottle of vodka that hung between his spread legs. Kurt was staring blankly at the flickering screen of his laptop in front of him, a little army uniformed teddy bear tucked under his left arm, and wearing his husband's sleep pants while one of Blaine's army jackets was draped over the shoulders of his naked torso. His soldier boy's dog tags were visible and hanging from his pale neck.
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
"Turn off the laptop…" Rachel whispered.
"Me or—"
"Sugar, just take it away!" She shrieked.
The one that got away
Sugar jumped at the command, carefully maneuvering to avoid stepping on any of the items on the floor. She's seem movies likes these, don't the widows normally freak out when anything they've unearthed of their dead spouses gets slightly nudged? In any case, Sugar wasn't going to let that happen to her. Once she reached Kurt, the fellow fashion professor kneeled down to slowly tug the laptop her way, watching for any signs of her friend getting ready to lash out. The blue-eyed man remained dazedly transfixed, seemingly unaffected by the action. Quickly pulling it the rest of the way toward her, Sugar curiously picked it up and glanced at the screen, glancing back at her co-worker sadly. "Girls."
The soldier and Rachel glanced at Kurt before moving, seeing as his gaze hasn't shifted and his fingers still mindlessly rimmed the bottle, he wasn't going to depressively flip out just yet. Santana makes a mini-pathway for them, shoving the clothes and papers aside. The two girls look over Sugar's shoulder at the screen and frowned, pressing a button to stop the music from playing for a moment while they watched the home video silently play. It consisted of small video clips of Blaine smiling and acting like a goofball.
They caught the last bit of someone (probably Kurt) recording Blaine waving his arms like a maniac as he pointed at their puppy and then at a Frisbee in his hand, Queen was just distractedly chasing his tail. The camera shook with someone's laughs. Next, it cut to Blaine saying something to the person holding the camera while pointing at a half-written letter in his hand, the soldier donned in his uniform planting a big kiss to the paper before turning to glare at the camera holder for a comment and flicking them off. As the next clip began to play, Rachel touched the track pad and moved the cursor to take the video off mute, curious as were the others to what this one was about.
The clip was of Kurt and Blaine at yet another airport, but this time surrounded by other soldiers with their respective loved ones. Queen was on his leash and staring up at his two-legged caretakers. The airport was smaller because it was one in Ohio, but thankfully that meant there weren't that many people to make unnecessary racket for the camera to record. "You going to wish daddy a safe flight?" Kurt smiled, rubbing Queen's head.
The Akita immediately jumped up and planted its massive black paws on Blaine's army jacket, snuffling while he licked his face and neck. The sergeant spluttered out his laugh, scratching the dog's head affectionately. "Oh, now that I'm leaving you're going to be nice to me?" Queen just whined, licking his chin in an almost apologetic manner before bumping his nose against his human's nose. Blaine just sagged a bit, rubbing his dog's side. "I'll miss you, too."
Queen snuffled against the side of his face one last time before letting Blaine set him back down on the ground, making a whining noise when he sensed how upset his owners were. He licked Kurt's hand affectionately, woofing softly as the two lovers looked at each other a bit forlornly. "I'm beginning to hate airports." Kurt suddenly laughed brokenly, eyes growing misty.
Blaine chuckled, hoisting his bag over his shoulder and subtly wiping off doggie spit from his face. "Just think, next time you see one, it won't be because I'm leaving."
His lower lip trembled, Kurt throwing his arms around his soldier boy and nuzzling into his coat lapel. He could care less about the smell of dog slobber on him at the moment. The camera zoomed in a bit more, cutting down on the excess amount of passerby bodies. Barely the girls heard, "I love you so much, Blaine. More than anything. So you better come back to me, okay? Or else I'm going to mad at you forever." A tear slipped down Kurt's cheek, seeping into his sergeant's jacket. Even though his words were meant in a more flippant joking manner, Blaine could hear the slight quiver in his voice, the familiar fear he always held whenever he had to say goodbye.
'Turn it off.' That's all that came to mind.
"Wouldn't want that." The solider wrapped his arms around his husband's waist, crushing the lither male to him. "You know that I can never stay away from you, not for long. Because you, Kurt Elizabeth, you are the love of my life. And I carry you in my heart wherever I go."
Kurt slammed his bottle down on the floor next to him, not enough to smash it but just so that it made the girls jump, his hands white knuckling around the neck. 'Those are my memories. Not yours…' is what he wanted to tell them, but his breath hitched, tired glasz eyes welling up once again. He tried to muster up some sort of anger to make plain as the nose on his face, but he couldn't, he was too tired. Kurt just pursed his lips together and looked away, chest contracting as he tried to control his internalized cries.
Sugar shut the laptop—fearing a lash out from her favorite fashionista—and placed it behind them on the bed. The three girls stood in the middle of the bedroom and waited for one of them to make a move, because despite all agreeing that something needed to be done, no one had really came up with an actual plan. Santana, of course, was the first one to break the silence. Rather rudely if you asked Rachel, in fact. "Kurt, you're life isn't the one that's over. So stop acting like it."
Rachel whipped her head towards her, giving her an expression that was both appalled and angry. "What the hell is the matter with yo—"
*RING RING*
A cellphone chiming interrupting their haphazard intervention, Santana holding up a finger to Berry as she fished her phone out of her pocket, clearly confused by the number that flashed across the screen. "I-I have to take this." She slid the lock across the screen to answer as she went into the hallway. "Hello?"
Sugar ignored what happened with the army woman, stepping hesitantly closer to Kurt and kneeling before him in her J-Crew paisley dress. She tried to lift the bangs away from his eyes, drooping when Kurt continued to stare away from them and let the tears well up in his baby blues. "Kurtsie?" The grieving husband didn't acknowledge the nickname, wishing more than anything that he could have just continue hiding away, left to aimlessly relive his memories of Blaine as if on a constant loop. That's all he had left really, memories, and nothing more. "Why are you doing this? Bla-Blaine wouldn't want you to live like this."
If Kurt had any fight left in him, any ounce of will, he'd probably sarcastically ask her how she could possibly know that. But the thing is, he didn't. Kurt was convinced he had nothing left to give, to offer to anyone. He's missed so much work that the University was probably on the verge of firing him. As much as he loved Queen, he knew he wasn't fit to be a dog owner anymore, especially not since Queen only reminded him that he was a present from his very no-longer-present husband. Kurt wasn't an army husband anymore either. No more letters to be sent or received, no more serenades to be phoned in from halfway around the world, and no more R&R's that basically consisted of Kurt and Blaine desperately melded against each other as they savored every precious second together. He had nothing, he was nothing, and he felt nothing. If only he could have joined his soldier boy.
A slap rung out across Kurt's cheek, the pale boy blinking rapidly as the force nearly made his head spin. He blinked up rapidly from where the smack came from, touching his flaming cheek lightly and caught by surprise when he realized that tears had begun tracking down his face again. Rachel was looming over him, staring at him with a look that could only be described as enraged horror. "Don't you ever say that again, okay? Do you hear me?" Kurt wasn't aware he had said anything at all, exactly what part of that had he voiced? "God, is that what you've been doing this whole time? Is the Kurt Hummel that I've grown up with, competed with, and the person who's inspired me since we were SIXTEEN really trying to will himself out of existence?" Rachel grabbed him by Blaine's coat and shook him pointedly, "Dammit Kurt, you're stronger than that, you're better than that." She began to tear up, her own emotions getting the best of her. "I know you miss him but, this isn't the end of everything. Your life isn't over just because you can't share it with Blaine anymore."
Kurt just stared up at her silently, mouth parted slightly in hopes that words will come out, ones that he intends this time and not those that he was never meant to say out loud. He started shaking, trying to curl in on himself as Rachel kept gripping onto him, burying his face into the plush bear he'd received that one Valentine's Day that seemed so long ago. What she said was true, Kurt knew it was, but that didn't mean he knew how to be on his own anymore. Look at their room. Look at their house. Look at HIM. Kurt wasn't in the right state of mind to be his own person, not now anyways. Some might think it's a bit pathetic when Kurt says he doesn't know how to be a person without Blaine, but when you agree to share your life with someone, you kind of rearrange your way of thinking from 'I' to 'we'. Now Kurt just felt like half of a whole, a broken puzzle with a missing piece.
"Brittney's in the hospital." Everyone snapped up to look at Santana, the female sergeant standing in the doorway with the phone still dangling in her hand.
"That's your partner, right?" Rachel asked, letting Kurt go in her shock. "What do you mean she's in the hospital? She was just fine when you left, wasn't she?"
Sugar frowned, "Is she okay? What happened?"
Santana just kept shaking her head minutely, mouth opening and closing as she searched for the right words. "They wouldn't tell me exactly. Her parents called me. I-I need to go back to New York."
"What?! But what about Kurt? We're not done helping him." The Broadway star said. "We can't leave Kurt by himself. He's not—I don't think he's stable right now."
"Then we'll take him with us." Sugar said simply.
Rachel looked at Sugar with annoyance. "Are you stupid? Kurt is in no condition to go anywhere. And what's with this 'we' nonsense?"
"I can borrow my daddy's private jet. Its not a problem."
"Your father owns a private jet?"
"No, he owns three. One for business, one for vacations, and one for emergencies. This is an emergency, right?"
Before Rachel could say anything, because really the only thing she was doing was gaping her mouth open at Sugar, Santana butt in. "No, she's right. We have to take Kurt with us. Britt wants to see him. Her parents said she's been asking for him."
"So it's settled. I'll tell our pilot we leave by tonight." Sugar got up and reached into her cashmere sweater's pocket for her phone, walking towards the hallway where she planned to make the call. "And just so we're clear, my daddy is not in the mafia."
Rachel and Santana eyed each other, not buying that for one second. "So what DOES he do?"
She titled her head in thought, "I don't quite know really. He does a lot of different things and works with a lot of different people. Oh, and he owns like a lot of different things. Daddy likes to put his name on stuff."
Considering Sugar had her name embroidered on her sweater, the girls weren't surprised. "Then why do you work as a professor when your dad obviously buys you whatever you want." Rachel asked.
Sugar snorted at them, "Because I have awesome fashion sense, duh. The only reason people walk around in ugly clothes and don't realize it, is because they haven't had the right people telling them what is hot and what is not. Which you would know if you had taken my class, I think you would benefit from it." She smiled at them, hitting the speed dial on her phone for her father. "Daddy! Hi! I just wanted to call you to tell you that I love you. Oh, and your princess needs a favor."
Santana couldn't hold in her snickering, especially not since it just sounded like Sweet-N-Low called Berry out as having a horrible sense of fashion. Rachel found it less funny. "Did she just—"
"Dear God, I hope so." The soldier laughed, shoving lightly at the midget's shoulder before gesturing to Kurt. "Come on, help me get him in the shower. We don't want him smelling like booze sweat and stale chips when he sees Britt after all this time."
Kurt let the two girls maneuver him into the shower, his usually warm body jerking and shivering when they just threw him in with his clothes still on. He sat there on the shower floor, letting the water pelt his face and neck as he pulled his knees to his chest. Everything was so messed up, and the only person who could make it better was gone. The girls were trying to find the solution to a problem when he didn't exist anymore. The blue-eyed boy wouldn't fight the girls on whatever they wanted him to do, he couldn't. Because the quicker this thing was over with, the faster he can get back to grieving over his lost love. Brittney was his friend, and he hoped she was okay, because Kurt doesn't think he can handle another person in his life dying.
"Mommy! Mommy!" A little boy ran towards Santana, flinging himself into his mother's arms and hugging her tightly. "Mama Bee is sick, mommy." He whimpered, clinging his legs around the woman's waist as he buried his head into her shoulder.
Santana caught him easily, settling the boy onto her hip and running a hand through his soft dark hair. "There, there, mijo. I've got you. Everything is going to be okay." She reassured, patting his back as she went on ahead and found Brittney's parents.
Sugar and Rachel trailed behind as they dragged Kurt along with them to keep up with the female sergeant. Santana was already talking to the parents when they finally caught up, the little boy looking over his mother's shoulder at them while his grandparents filled her in on what they knew. Kurt found himself staring at the little boy rather than trying to eaves drop on what could possibly be wrong with his friend. He couldn't be anymore than four years old, his face round and cute with dark brown eyes like Santana. His cheeks were rosy against his fair skin, the familiar feature jolting something in the back of his mind. "Brayden."
The little boy focused solely on him now, looking at the person who called his name. He hid his face behind his mom's hair, hiding from the unfamiliar person who knew his name. Now he remembered, four plus years ago Santana actually succeeded in getting a little bit of Hummel to mix with her Lopez. Kurt remembers meeting him a few times over the course of his life, not a constant enough presence for him to be immediately recognized by the four-year-old, but often enough for Kurt to remember that he had a hand in helping Santana and Brittney have their first child. He and Blaine were, more often than not, referred to as Uncle when concerning the little boy.
"Kurt?" The blue-eyed male blinked dazedly when he realized he had zoned out, Santana looking at him with her slender brows furrowed. "Come on. Britt's in here."
He couldn't even muster up a nod before he was being herded into the hospital room after Santana, Brayden parting his mother's long black hair to peek back out at him. "Mommy, who are those people?"
"That man is your Uncle Kurt, remember? And those are his friends."
"…oh." Brayden closed the curtain that was his mom's hair, turning around to try and see his other mom. "Mama Bee!"
Brittney sleepily looked up from her hospital bed, smiling softly at her son. "Baby Bee." She tried to giggle, stretching a hand out to hold his tiny one that reached for hers. "Oooh, Mommy Tana is back home. Isn't that nice?"
Brayden nodded his head, "Yes mama." Santana set him down so he was sitting on the bed with her, careful so he wasn't on her IV or any other hospital wires she was hooked up to. He rubbed his mother's hand clumsily in his, looking at her in worry. "Are you feeling better yet? Can you come home?"
Brittney brushed her son's hair back gently, "I'm feeling much better now. That bag is giving me magic fairy water to make me feel all better."
"Really mama?" Brayden said in all his childlike wonder, looking at the tube running from her wrist to the IV bag.
Santana smiled fondly, "Your mama's right. Everything here is meant to make her healthy again. We'll taker her home once the doctors say she's all better."
"Can we just take a fairy home? I promise I won't let Prince Tubbington eat her."
She chuckled, "Fairies like to help people. We don't want to be selfish and take a fairy from someone who needs her help, do we?"
The little boy sighed dejectedly, lips pushing out into a pout. "No."
"That'd my good little Bray-Bray." She smiles, kissing his mop of dark hair.
From behind them, "She's been feeling dizzy lately, getting headaches too often for it to be normal." Her father whispered to Kurt, Sugar and Rachel turning to them to listen as well. "It's been happening ever since she found out about you and your husband."
"Which we are so sorry to hear about." The mother added, putting her hand on Kurt's back when he noticeably went rigid, not at all deterred by how he hadn't even looked at them yet. They knew the boy was listening.
The dad agreed, "Yes, my condolences as well. Brittney, she wanted to go and be there for you so badly, but in her condition that wasn't the best option you see. So she just stayed home, fretted about you until she convinced Santana that she had to be the one to go see you since she didn't have the ability to leave New York. And then…" The father seemed visibly shaken, trying not to show just how worried he was about his daughter. "…then this morning, she got a terrible pain in her upper stomach. She said it hurt so much. We couldn't take any chances, so we drove her straight here. After we got here is when she finally let us know what's been happening, how she hasn't been feeling well."
"What's wrong with her?" Sugar asked.
"The doctors think its preeclampsia. You know, because of all the stress and worry? So they're going to monitor her a bit more. They're hoping to get blood pressure under control so they don't have to induce labor." Her dad explained.
The mother nodded. "We were also hoping bringing Kurt here, so she could see him for herself, would help ease some of her stress. It was the only thing we could think of that might help."
Kurt almost couldn't concentrate on the explanation, eyes big and disbelieving as they stared at Brittney lying in the bed. She was propped up against the pillows and giggling with her family, poking Brayden's nose playfully. But what was gathering all of Kurt's attention was the roundness of Britt's belly, protruding from her normally slim frame in a way that could only mean one thing. Her legs were elevated with a pillow and the hand not connected to an IV was rubbing her swollen belly, cradling it preciously. He remembers Santana being pregnant, he even remembers donating the sperm, but what he doesn't remember is Brittney being pregnant.
"Dolphin?"
Glasz eyes snapped out of his trance, focusing on Brittney smiling at him from her hospital bed. "Kurt, I've been so worried about you." She beckoned him closer, obvious relief washing over her as she was finally able to see her friend. Kurt found himself walking over to her, Brittney being the only one whose words have had a noticeable influence on him. When he reached the bed, she tried to keep her smile firmly in place, but it noticeably wilted the longer she looked at him. Her eyes grew a bit teary, Santana picking Brayden up so Kurt could sit next to Britt and they could talk better. "I'm so sorry Blaine couldn't stay."
Kurt started shaking, his breath hitching as his cries threatened to come back. "Brittney." The blonde girl held out her arms, gesturing for Kurt to give her a hug. The broken boy leaned down and buried his face in her neck, Brittney shushing him and rubbing the back of his head.
She held onto Kurt as he sobbed helplessly into her shoulder, letting her comfort him. Brittney pulled him back to look at him, smiling sadly. "Can I give you something?" Kurt sniffled pathetically, rubbing under his eyes before nodding slowly. She looked over at her parents. "Mom, there's a letter in my purse. Can you get it?"
Her mother nodded quickly, going to the chair her stuff was on and searching through her purse. When she found a crisp white envelope, she walked over and handed it to her daughter. "Here you are."
"Thank you." Brittney said, tightening her hold on the envelope for a second before she held it out to Kurt. "This is for you."
Curiously, he gingerly took the envelope, turning it over to look at the front of it. His breath caught when he saw the name scribbled across it, not because it was his own, but because he recognized the handwriting it was written in. Kurt's name had been scrawled across the envelope carefully, the person trying to go for a nicer looking penmanship instead of his normal hastily written chicken scratch. He laughed a bit, picturing Blaine trying to write neater and how he just ended up pressing his name harder onto the paper. Kurt almost didn't want to open it, wanting to savor the last unopened letter he had from his solder boy. There were still tears tracking down his face, but at least some were out of a bit of happiness now. He gave Brittney a grateful smile, "Do you know what it says?"
She shook her head, "No, but I have an idea." Brittney patted his hand affectionately. "Read it. He wanted you to."
The blue-eyed male looked back at the envelope in his lap, tracing the letters of his name lovingly before taking a steadying breath. He flipped over the envelope and so very carefully opened it, not wanting to damage the contents or the envelope itself. Once the last piece of the flap was unstuck, Kurt pulled the letter out, smiling and crying more steadily when he realized Blaine had folded the letter into an origami shaped heart. He shook his head, "You're such a goof." Kurt whispered reverently, unfolding the heart to read what his soldier wanted to tell him.
Wow.
Okay.
I honestly don't know how I'm going to write this, never mind start it.
All right, I'm just going to get it over with.
Please don't be mad at me.
Dear Daddy,
And no, I don't mean that in a kinky way, even though now that's what I'm thinking about…Wait, no. Focus.
Kurt, my love. My life. We're going to be parents.
I love you, Kurt. More than anything in the world. So I really hope you're not too angry with me, I mean if you have to be angry at someone, I guess it should be me. Just don't take it out on Brittney. She's doing this amazing thing for us, for you and me, and she really didn't have to.
I planned on telling you in person during my next R&R. I didn't want to drop this bombshell on you a few days before I had to leave. That, I know, would have been unfair. But if it turns out you're reading this, then I must not have had the guts to tell you this in person. Because when you're angry, especially at me, it's scarier than any combat zone I have ever been in the middle of.
After all the talk about us having kids, at least one, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I know you wanted to wait to revisit the subject again once I was officially done with this deployment, but for some reason everything was just telling me that now, the right time is NOW, not another year or whatever. And I guess I've just never been one to ignore my gut. It was stupid, and impulsive, and I can't believe I actually went thought with it. But I did.
Kurt, Brittney mixed my Anderson with her S. Pierce, and we're having a baby.
Every time I leave, it hurts me that you're alone and I don't want it to be like that anymore. I will probably miss the birth, which kills me inside, but as long as you're there I'll be happy. Brittney promised she'd send me updates, which I can't thank her enough for. I hope that as the birthdate gets closer, you'll be just as excited as I am. I know you're going to be an amazing father, and spoil him rotten, which I cannot wait for because it will be so cute. I also hope to be a decent dad, but I am scared. I'm scared I jumped the gun and I'm scared we're not ready and I'm especially scared that you never wanted this, that you were just discussing it to make me happy.
Please, please tell me I didn't make a horrible mistake. I love you with everything that I am worth and I just know that there isn't anyone else I'd want to share this adventure with. I want us to be a family, raise a family, and be over the fucking moon with a happily ever after and all that Hallmark bullshit. I think we can do this.
I know we can do this.
With all my love,
Forever and ever,
Your soldier boy,
Papa Blaine
P.S. Even if you're royally pissed at me, I'm still going to kiss you breathless and tell you how much I missed you.
I love you, baby. Nothing will ever change that.
P.P.S. Look at that sonogram and even try to tell me you're not crazy excited! If not, a little scared.
Which is okay.
But…um…you know what, I'm just going to stop now.
Kisses, my love! xx
"What does it say, Kurt?"
"Yeah, come on, the anticipation is killing us…ow! Uh…I mean, unbearable."
Kurt's hands were trembling by the time he was finished reading the letter. Ignoring the questions around him, he blindly reached into the envelope and slipped out what was inside. The picture fell from between his fingers the second Kurt's glasz eyes landed on it. He looked back over at Brittney, still unable to process. "Britt, is it true? Did you…for us?"
"Did she what?" Sugar whispered, Santana and Rachel both shushing her so they could listen.
Brittney just smiled, "I'd do anything for my favorite pretty ponies." Then she took one of his pale trembling hands, cautious as she placed it on a specific spot on her baby bump. "This one is pretty feisty in the morning. Won't stop kicking until I drink some juice." She moved his hand over to another spot. "This baby is quieter. Never any trouble. Just turns every so often, and makes me need to pee." The blonde giggled happily, watching the way Kurt stared at her tummy in awe.
"Th-They?"
She nodded, "Uh-huh, Brayden thinks they're both boys. I definitely think you have at least one baby girl."
A Baby.
Two babies.
"Blaine and I were going to be parents…?" Kurt finally whispered, twin gasps of breath coming from behind him, presumably from Sugar and Rachel. He could hear Santana telling them to just shut up already.
"Don't you see? Blaine isn't gone, not really." Brittney said, letting him know that he really isn't all alone.
He had to take his hand away, covering his mouth as his breaths hitched around half-broken cries. "I can't—Britt, I can't."
"Can't what, Kurtie?"
Kurt made pained noise. "I am in no position to be a parent. Not like this. Not without Blaine."
"We'll help you."
Blue eyes whipped around to stare at Rachel, his vision blurring in an all too familiar way. "What are you going to do, Rachel?"
"Well—"
"Are you going to quit Broadway? Are you going to move back to Lima? Help me shop for freaking baby clothes?!"
"I don't know!" She shouted. "I don't know, okay? But I want to help. I'm going to help you. Those are your babies, Kurt. Not only that, but those are BLAINE'S babies."
Kurt's jaw tensed, shutting his eyes tightly as more tears slipped out. "I can't even take care of myself, what makes you think I should be responsible for another life? Let alone two."
"So what? If you can't do it on your own, move back in with your Dad and Carole." When Kurt snorted, Rachel huffed. "They love you, and you're hurting. There's no shame in seeking help from them." Her friend still didn't look at her, so she continued. "And you know what? Sell the house. Or let Finn live there until you're ready to move back in, I don't know. But it's a start."
"Rachel, you don't understand. I probably don't have a job anymore. What am I supposed to do to provide for two kids?" He grit out. There was no way he was ready to be a father. No way.
"Can't Blaine's family help with that? The babies are their family too." Sugar inquired.
He scoffed, "Blaine's grandfather went to hell and back just to make certain I wouldn't see a dime of what Blaine left me."
"What are you talking about?"
The paler boy groaned, "Blaine had an inheritance. I guess it was substantial enough that the idea of any portion of the Anderson estate going to his gay grandson and his gay husband was something he couldn't allow."
"But if Blaine left it to you, it's yours. You could use it to take care of your kids."
"Sugar, I signed it away." Kurt explained to her, "I told him he could have it all. And the last thing I want is to ever ask for a penny of Albert Anderson's money."
"Oh my gosh, this is fantastic." Everyone in the room looked at her, minus Brittney of course, giving Sugar a 'wtf' look. Brayden took turns watching them all while he sucked on his thumb.
"I feel like if I hit her, then she'll start to make sense." Santana commented.
Sugar rolled her eyes, "No, you guys. My daddy hates Albert Anderson."
Rachel answered Santana, "I don't think you can hit that hard."
She gave them a deadpanned expression, but by that point Kurt was curious himself at what the hell she was referring to. "Sugar, please tell me what you could possibly mean. Santana is not the only one who can get violent."
"The Andersons are Motta's biggest competitor business wise. My daddy will do anything to piss off Mr. Albert especially."
Kurt still wasn't getting it. "So?"
"So?" Sugar parroted. "So daddy will help you. He has a bunch of lawyers they get him out of contracts he signs all the time. They can probably find a loopy thingy for you."
"Ya mean loop hole?" He clarified.
"Right! That!"
"Sugar, as nice as it is to offer your father's many lawyers, why on earth would he want to help me?"
"Will it make Mr. Albert angry to see you get what Blaine left you?"
"Probably."
"Then that's reason enough for Daddy Motta." Sugar affirmed.
He looked at Sugar, staring at her before turning to make eye contact with each of the other girls, really seeing them and listening to them. Can he really? Should he even try? "You girls are serious. You'd really help me?"
"In a heart beat." Rachel walked over, "Blaine wasn't the only person who loved you. We all do too. And this isn't going to be easy. Kids never are, but if you'd let us, we want to be here for you and your family. Right girls?"
"Right."
"Right!"
"Left. Because another right will just make a circle."
"Mommy," Brayden whispered to Santana, "does Mama mean a square?"
"Yes mijo, but let's just keep that our little secret."
A/N: Song was 'The One that Got Away (acoustic)' by Katy Perry. OMG GUYS JUST ONE (maybe two) CHAPTERS LEFT AHHHH! Please review? :D
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