This chapter will be beyond awkward but completely necessary. To my male readers, I apologize in advance for anything that may make you uncomfortable.

Chapter Two: The Talk

Shrill, raucous laughter filled the Hall at an agonizing pitch. Hiccup gritted his teeth to keep his expression neutral; Finn, however, didn't have any qualms about putting his hands over his ears on occasion. Yes, the Bog Burglars were quite the rowdy bunch… a rowdy bunch of females for that matter.

Hiccup observed his people mingled with the Bogs, everyone trying to prove themselves in either conversation or might, whether that be in arm wrestling or plans to duel after the meetings. Glancing at his son, Hiccup gently bumped his elbow into Finn's ribs. Finn glowered and sat up straighter. Hiccup stifled the bubble of laughter and focused back on the group. They'd been waiting for Camicazi to show up for nearly forty-five minutes, but that was another thing about the Bogs. They showed up when they felt like it, regardless of the chosen time of arrival. Thus, Hiccup allowed Finn to sleep in a little bit longer than he normally would have. He knew Cami would be late, so there was no point in showing up early.

Today was the day Camicazi and her council would decide whether or not to incorporate dragons into their way of life. And by extension, sign a Treaty to join the allied forces of the Archipelago—mainly the Hooligans, Runians and Meatheads. These three tribes had been trying for decades to join forces with the Bogs to no avail. Being the first to ever make any serious headway, Hiccup was beside himself with nerves, though he did his best not to show it. Only those who knew him best could tell. Finn could tell by the way he crossed and uncrossed his arms almost constantly, shifted his gaze around the room at a constant rate, and tapped his prosthetic against the stone floor.

"Dad, relax. They're going to sign the document."

Hiccup glanced down at Finn, letting his anxiousness show for a moment. He didn't respond for a long moment. "It's not just the document, buddy. It's having them as allies if something were to happen. Knowing that without a shadow of a doubt that we can trust them to cover our-" A shiver ran up Hiccup's spine at that moment. Grabbing a dagger from his belt, he whipped around to clash it against another. Camicazi stood there with a triumphant, mildly impressed smirk on her face. "…backs."

Finn stared at the small, blonde female with wide eyes, while Hiccup narrowed his at her suspiciously. "What exactly are you doing?"

Camicazi laughed as shrilly as her villagers around them. "You're much harder to rob than I expected."

"Rob?" Hiccup and Finn asked simultaneously.

Cami withdrew her dagger, sheathing it noisily. "Yeah. A friend dared me to steal your prosthetic without you noticing. It's a shame you were quick to notice me before I could even make a move."

Hiccup also sheathed his dagger, replying with a flat expression. "I'm sure you would have been so successful." With a sigh to lower his inner defenses, he added, "I'm quicker on my feet than people give me credit for."

"Foot." Camicazi gazed down at his peg leg with interest. "I still can't believe you lost that thing at fifteen. It must've been amazing!"

Hiccup snorted. "Yeah, amazing." Finn snickered.

"Mostly I am surprised that you survived, being a guy after all. Men are wimps when it comes to serious injury. Yet here you stand in one piece! Kudos to you on that one. You're still not as awesome as me and my ladies, but you're on the right track."

Finn promptly snorted at his dad's failed attempt to hide his deadpan. Hiccup quickly rebounded by replying, "Well I'll certainly look forward to working with you in the future then. Surely I can learn a thing or two from you."

"Oh please," Camicazi waved her hand. "Your compliments are meager in comparison to the sheer magnitude of my glory!" She waved her hands over her head dramatically toward the ceiling, before stifling a laugh at the Haddocks' confused, weirded-out expressions. Landing a punch on Hiccup's arm, she said, "Seriously, I'm kidding. Lighten up! And just look at you!" Cami ignored Hiccup's whining and reached forward to pinch Finn's cheeks in her hands. "Oh he's so cute, I could just keep him forever! But alas, you're a male and males don't stick around with the Bogs for very long."

Finn wiggled out of her tight grasp, massaging his face with his hand. But he smirked, "I can't see why. They're missing out."

"Finn…" Hiccup choked, looking away with an embarrassed smile. Sure, Camicazi wasn't too much younger than Hiccup, but that was still quite an age gap for Finn to be hitting on.

Camicazi shot Hiccup an impressed look. "Your son's got guts, I'll give him that!" Then her gaze turned roguish and she jabbed a finger into Finn's stomach. "Right in there! Hahahahaha! Your face!"

"Ow." Finn whined, rubbing the spot on his belly while Camicazi continued to laugh. She was gorgeous and wild and tough… he found he kind of liked it. But it also frightened him a bit. At the same time, he was a bit wild himself… whoever he ended up with needed to keep up with him, after all!

Camicazi wiped her eyes presently with a loud sigh. "I'm sure you haven't been poked in the belly since you were a toddler. How do you feel?"

Finn cocked his head in a short nod. "Aside from the growing welt on my stomach, I feel great."

"Perfect! Now, enough chit chat. Let's get this party started." With a swift turn on her heel, Camicazi stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled high into the crowd. The Bogs instantly quieted and turned toward her to hear what she had to say. Hiccup jealously wished he could gain his peoples' attention that fast.

"All-righty my lovely crazies," Camicazi began. "I think it's high time we stopped wasting time and put our time to good use! For decades we've been nagged and we've bragged and been nagged some more, and hey because we could, we bragged some more. Maybe it's time for some change! I've perused through the Hooligans' terms of the Treaty with the Allies, and I agree with them wholeheartedly, as does the council. From this day forward we will hereby call any one of the allied tribes our friends. Any breaking of those terms on an island's part against us, and the Treaty will be forfeited and a war will probably start, yada yada. Also, the killing of dragons will hereby be outlawed, and we will have a couple Hooligan representatives stay with us (preferably single females, mind you) for some time to help us train our first dragons. Dragons are now and forever our friends, and we will not use them for combat purposes only. Have I said all the things?" Camicazi asked her council hovering behind her. The group of stiff women nodded, and she clapped her hands. "Good because all this formal talk is boring. Bring me the document!"

A couple men on the Hooligans' council stepped forward with the scroll, feather pen and ink well. Camicazi signed her name with a flourish and promptly landed a solid punch on Hiccup's shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Oh don't be a wuss, it's part of the Bogs' agreement to be friends. As is this," Camicazi faced the palm of her hand, hacked a large gob of spit into it and held it out to Hiccup, who stared at it dumbly. Finn snickered and elbowed his dad in the ribs.

"Uhh… what-" Hiccup started.

Camicazi sighed. "My faith in you is already depleting. It's a spit shake. Seriously, you've never done a spit shake before?"

Hiccup cringed. "I tend to enjoy good health, thank you very much."

"Because good health has anything to do with your spit and hands. Really now, don't be so dense."

"That's so gross! Do I seriously-"

Finn stepped forward. "I'll do it."

Hiccup nudged him away. "No, you just want to hold her hand."

Finn shrugged. "So?"

Hiccup gave him the stink eye, to which Finn grinned. The Hooligan chief promptly spit in his hand, paused, and finally shook hands with Camicazi. Apparently that sealed the deal more than any document, for the Bog Burglars all erupted with cheers and cups of mead slamming against the table tops. Hiccup quickly plunged his hand into the nearest water bucket and wiped it clean as vigorously as possible.

Camicazi watched on with confusion. "You know, for growing up the blacksmith's apprentice, you sure are a clean freak… I like it! It's weird and confusing and awesome at the same time. Like how-" Hiccup continued to wipe off his hand with precise movements as Camicazi rambled to whoever listened about the strange yet attractiveness of how fierce bears loved sweet things, like honey and sugar. He honestly wondered how she found him strange when she herself was quite strange in so many other ways than he was. Some things, he'd never understand…

Like how Finn stared at her with rapt attention. Oh no. Ohhhh no. He'd better stop that particular crush or Thor save them all. Fearless Finn Haddock with Camicazi the Crazy? Age difference had to be the least of the issues in that particular case.

Hiccup's thoughts came to a halt when his center of balance suddenly shifted and he toppled toward the left, nearly ramming into a table. Footsteps and laughter were quickly diminishing and Hiccup didn't have to ask or be told what had happened.

Sitting on the bench and trying to ignore his son's uproarious laughter, he called after Camicazi, "You don't win the dare because I definitely noticed!" Camicazi kept on running until she had long left the Hall with Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III's prosthetic held over her head in victory.

"Finn? Help your old man out?" Hiccup asked with wide green eyes.

Finn smirked devilishly. "Only because this means extra one on one time with Camicazi."

Hiccup blanched while his son began to march toward the Hall door with purpose. In that moment, he sorely wished he had his other leg. If he'd had his other leg, Camicazi never would've been dared to steal it. If she hadn't been dared to steal it, she wouldn't have actually stolen it and run into the far reaches of her village with it. And thus, if he had his other leg, Hiccup wouldn't be watching his son march after her with absolute purpose to "find" it.

"Ohhhh gods help us all."

"Mom..." Adrianna called timidly from the back door.

"I'm in here!" Astrid called as she sat on the couch mending more of Finn's clothes. "Right where I was two minutes ago." she mumbled as shook her head. That girl could be so scatterbrained that she'd forget her head if it wasn't attached.

As she sewed, Astrid listened and counted the footsteps drawing nearer through the kitchen towards her. Yet, they seemed to stop short. Maternal curiosity engaged, she glanced up, and as she took in the sight of her daughter, she slowly put down the shirt she was mending. Adrianna stood stiffly at the other side of the room, her arms close to her sides and keeping her shirt pulled down with her legs locked together but what concerned Astrid the most was her daughter's pale face and her bright eyes wide with fear. She had gone to use the outhouse but it looked like she'd seen a ghost on the way there. Or something.

"What's wrong?"

The girl hesitated before answering, in a very soft voice, "I need new laundry."

Astrid's eyebrows furrowed. She looked her daughter up and down. "Why? Your clothes look clean to me."

"Well…" Adrianna looked mortified, "they're not exactly clean… underneath..."

It took Astrid several seconds to figure out what Adrianna was talking about. Her eyes widened. She was honestly surprised this hadn't happened sooner, come to think of it.

"Oh... well let me go upstairs and grab something to help with that." she acknowledged before practically flying up the stairs and opening the one dresser drawer that Hiccup wouldn't even touch.

It was a long time before Finn had chased down Camicazi and wrestled Hiccup's foot out of her grasp. And it took even longer to get back to Hiccup so that he could return it without being attacked by the Bog Burglar's chief. But after the laughter had subsided and Camicazi finally allowed Hiccup to keep his limb, both Hiccup and Finn had had enough of the Bog Burglars for the day. And so they immediately retreated from the Great Hall.

As they braved the frigid winter weather side by side, Hiccup wrapped his left arm around his son's shoulders. Surprised by the touch, the teen glanced up to his father in awkward confusion.

"Uh... why are you being so affectionate?" Finn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Affectionate? Do you have something against a father's embrace?" Hiccup squeezed the redhead's shoulder as he smiled down. "Actually, I was planning on having a father-son talk with you during this trip and put it off way too long."

"But… we have talked." said Finn suspiciously.

"Not about this. You're becoming a man now, Finn, and with that comes some changes-"

The teen stopped abruptly and turned to better face his father. "Woah, hey now," he put up his hands defensively, "we already talked about that stuff!" Finn extended his arms trying to push the subject as far away from him as possible. "I know my body's changing so we don't have to go into that again."

"No, not that talk." Hiccup shuddered. "I agree; telling you everything the first time was awkward enough." he patted the boy's shoulder. "But there are more changes than just physical ones. Why don't we find a good place to sit down, preferably out of the cold. Then we can talk." He began to scan the village square for a good location.

Finn ignored the last part. Truthfully, he was focused on something else. "What other changes are there?" the teen asked with a frown; he had a feeling this was going to be every bit as uncomfortable as the first talk.

Hiccup ruffled his son's hair as they walked. "Girls."

"It hurts." Adrianna wailed, her hands on her abdomen. "Nobody told me it was going to hurt."

"The tea's almost ready, Adri. Just hang in there." Astrid crushed some herbs and expertly mixed them into the hot water. Years of practice had made her something of an expert at this. "You're going to be really irregular for a while and with varying degrees of discomfort but make sure you have these herbs on hand."

"Why does it hurt?" the girl slumped over on the couch and moaned. "Why is being a woman so uncomfortable?"

"Maybe the gods have it out for us." Astrid handed her daughter a cup of tea which, thankfully, had a rather pleasant taste. "But you get used to it. Really, as long as you drink this when you start to feel it coming on, it's not too difficult to deal with."

"That's comforting." Adrianna said irritably before taking a sip of the tea. "I'll be sure to remember that as I lie here imploding."

"Don't be so melodramatic. Just keep drinking your tea." Astrid felt a sudden surge of amusement for some reason. "And I guess this means I'm going to have to talk to you about boys now."

Hiccup would have been proud to see the way their daughter reacted. Although Astrid probably should have waited until Adrianna had swallowed the generous sip of tea she'd sipped because it was suddenly dribbling down her chin as she coughed. Rather than swallowing her mouthful, she had promptly inhaled it. Astrid waited for her to stop hacking before continuing.

"Why would you tell me that?!" Finn remarked absolutely horrified. His scarlet face was buried in his hands. He was wrong. This talk was even more embarrassing than the first. "Was that really necessary?"

"Absolutely and unfortunately. Finn, this is all a natural process and we have to be sensitive to the needs of the women in our lives during this time. Well… their time." Hiccup patted his son's back. "But I agree, it's not pleasant."

"I had no idea girls had it so rough." the teen shook his head as if trying to cast out this new information.

Hiccup put a hand on Finn's shoulder. "Oh, no. There's more."

If only Astrid could have seen the horrified expression cross their son's face…

"We really don't have to talk about this, Mom." Adrianna choked. "I'm not... I mean most boys are annoying. I don't need to know any more about them than I already know."

"Actually you do." Astrid got down on her knees in front of the couch so she could look her daughter in the eye. "Because boys can be... tricky."

"Tricky how?" Adrianna bit her lip. She wasn't liking where this was going but at least the tea was taking effect.

"At your age, boys are also going through a lot of changes. I'm not going to go into the physical ones, you already know about the changing voice and everything else that happens really isn't important right now. However, they also go through a lot of mental changes and that's where a lot of girls get confused."'

"Oh really?" Adrianna raised an eyebrow. "Usually they just pretend to beat each other up."

Astrid laughed. "Yeah, they do a lot of dumb things at that age. But my point is, you need to save yourself for the right guy. And I don't mean just physically. There are guys out there who break hearts and are completely okay with it."

"And how do I know if a guy is the wrong guy?" Adrianna asked, finally starting to see the point to this discussion.

"Well... the wrong guy won't make you feel like you're worth his time. He'll force you to do things you don't want to do." Astrid finally sat down on the couch next to her daughter. "The right guy will make you feel special. He'll make you feel loved. So wait for him. I promise you, it'll be worth it."

Adrianna mulled this information over for a few seconds. "I think I understand."

"Good." Astrid patted her on the back. "Go ahead and finish your book. Oh, one more thing." she added. "Make sure you don't fly unless you feel up to it. I know from experience that flying with cramps is not pleasant."

Adrianna's hand made its way to her abdomen as a wave of discomfort overcame it for a second. "Trust me, flying is the last thing on my mind right now." she took another sip of tea. "Nice chat." she said quickly before grabbing her book and running from the room.

"So what am I supposed to do about it?" Finn looked up to his father scared at the answer to his question. "Do I even want to know?"

"Well, first of all, if you see anything, hear anything, don't say it. Nothing. Don't even look at it. Just be very, very nice. Act like a gentlemen. For instance, your mother and sister may talk about cinnamon." Hiccup smiled. "Your mom seems to like that herb. I'm not quite sure why but it always makes her feel better. His face fell. "But this is going to be rough on Addie when it happens to her so you have to be delicate. She's probably going to be more emotional and more irritable."

"Is that even possible?" Finn deadpanned. "Because she's already a basket case. I'm still not sure we're related."

"Trust me, I was there. You're related." Hiccup chuckled. "It won't be easy. Your sister is going to seem a lot more weak and dainty than she used to be. Don't make fun of her for that. Don't expect her or force her to become tougher like you. You need to remember that she is becoming a young lady like you are becoming a young man. If you act properly. Women are precious. Not all are delicate but all need to be respected, listened to and cared for in their own way." Hiccup paused as he repositioned in his seat, "But it's not just girls who go through emotional changes like this."

"Oh, no." Finn buried his head in his hands. "Not this again."

Hiccup continued. "I'm not going to go over the physical stuff because you know all that."

"I know too much of the physical stuff!" The teen wailed waving his arms about him.

"However," Hiccup pulled out the word, trying to regain his son's attention, "as your body is changing, it begins to mess with your mind. It'll affect the way you behave, how look at things,… how you look at people. For instance, I've noticed you starting to look at some of the girls."

"What?! No!" Hiccup smiled at Finn's immediate denial (and the boy's voice cracking on the second word). "No, I don't..."

"It's okay, Finn," He put a hand on the young man's shoulder, "that's normal. You're getting to the age when guys see girls differently."

"Yeah, I think we discussed that already." Finn deadpanned. How he longed for this conversation to end.

"When guys become interested in girls. And that's fine but it's also dangerous." Hiccup sighed. "Look... okay, this is kind of difficult to talk about and I can tell you aren't going to be like I was when I was going through this phase, but you're going to start being tempted to... push boundaries with women. And I'm not saying you shouldn't figure a few things out on your own. But there are some boundaries that shouldn't be pushed."

"Boundaries?" Finn asked, somewhat curious despite himself.

Hiccup continued. "I don't want you to shy away from having girlfriends. No, wait, friends that are girls. Plural. Not having many girlfriends, that would be…" Hiccup looked to Finn who just stared at him. "I want you to have a girlfriend, I want you to be friends with girls and not be afraid of women. But you need to respect them. Some cultures see them as inferior. We Hooligans don't. And I don't want to see you or ever hear of you treating them like they are lesser. We're different, definitely, but we're equal. We each have a different role to play but the role we play is just as important as the other."

"Okay…" Finn sighed. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Finn," Hiccup put both hands on his son's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes, "Do not force your way, or your wants on women. You will become a strong man, I can tell, but your momentary desires and the power you hold with your intimidating stature does not allow you to use women, mistreat them, and push yourself upon them. Do you understand me?"

The redhead nodded. "Yes, Dad."

As he stared into Finn's intensely blue eyes, Hiccup could only hope and pray that the issue would never resurface. As he leaned back in the chair, and observed how much his little boy had grown, fatherly pride and love swelled within him. He couldn't help but smile.

Moments later, he ruffled his son's vibrant red hair, which caused Finn to duck and smile. "Come on, let's go."

"So... what does this mean?" Benen's voice sounded slightly timid as he buttoned his shirt back up.

Mara, Berk's healer, sighed deeply. "Nothing if you're careful. Don't overexert yourself and be sure to eat right. But at your age... it might be a good idea to get your affairs in order just in case."

Benen smiled weakly. "I am glad I have the time to think about such things. Thank you, Mara, for telling me. But please do me one favor."

"Yes?"

"I'd like to wait until after Snoggletog to tell anyone." the elderly man stood from the chair and headed toward the door. "But I shall heed your advice. You have been so good to me these last six years. I really do appreciate what you've done."

"I haven't done anything, really. Just my job. You're the one who has made a difference here." Mara smiled back at him. "Please keep yourself alive as long as you can."

Benen laughed. "I'm 66 years old. I make no promises. But I will give it my best effort."

After thanking the healer again, the amiable and peaceful elderly man headed home. Genuinely thankful for the time he'd had on Berk rather than the limited time remaining, Benen couldn't help but smile. He took a deep breath of the crisp air and thanked the gods for these years of freedom and for the close friends he had made in what had become the happiest time of his life.

This chapter has been quite a traveler. From computer to computer it hopped until it finally came to completion. Even now, I'm not uploading it from my own computer. I'm uploading it from my brother's. It was also quite the group effort. Special thanks to both EmmerzK and Fritz96 for their contributions to this chapter. I know it's slightly choppy but that's the best it could be after the sheer amount of edits it went through. There didn't seem to be a way to fix it in the end so for that, I apologize.

The Haddock men will be back on Berk next chapter and then the real fun can begin. And I mean that in a good and bad way. As stated before, this fic is going back to the roots. I would say it's about Under Pressure level in terms of angst. However, as in those fics, I am giving you some time to warm up, so to speak, before it kicks in. Expect a few cliff hangers. I haven't really worked them out yet but I know they'll be there!

Also, due to some conflicts with work schedules and general life, this fic will be updated on Sundays. I'm sorry to make you wait a week between chapters but I think it's for the best. Now if a chapter gets finished way ahead of schedule and I can still update that Sunday, I'll post it early. But for the most part, it'll be Sunday, I think.

Thank you to everyone who added this story to their favorites already. The fact that you've read only one chapter of this particular story and think it good enough to declare it a favorite story even without knowing what happens next really means a lot.

Don't forget to review!

~KateMarie999

P.S. I had originally written Benen telling Mara he was 70 but I realized that, thanks to the fact that Benen had mentioned his village being raided at 18 and then having been a slave for 42 years, my math was wrong. Sorry about that.