A gentle reminder that PG-13 does encompass hints at sex and swearing. The latter is relevant to this chapter.
Momoi's words bounce around in my head for the better part of a minute as my chopsticks snap within my grasp. I drop my phone subconsciously and start swearing loudly in English, over and over until I'm yelling at the top of my lungs. "Oi, oi!" Daiki says, picking up my phone and trying to talk with a barely coherent Momoi. "What did you tell her, Satsuki?"
Her voice prattles off the phrase once again as I storm through the apartment, trying to vent without resorting to violence. My anger knows no bounds. The look in Daiki's eyes tells me that he also doesn't understand the meaning of my brother's words, but he still looks as pissed as I feel. He hangs up while I accidentally flip over the coffee table in the living room. "Calm down, you idiot! You're going to break something!" He says vehemently, looking torn.
"I'll calm down when I'm dead!" I hiss, pinning the tan player with a furious glare. "That brat! That brat and his sister and his mother and father!" I let out a yell of fury and go back to pacing, grinding out profanities once again.
"What did he tell you?" I let my gaze rake over Daiki furiously before my lip curls in cruel amusement.
"Like it really matters. I'll set him straight. I'll set all of them straight!" Really, I shouldn't be this angry, but I can't help it. What does a middle school student think he can do to keep me out of the country? What does he think he can do to keep me here? "Who do they think they are, giving Momoi messages? If they want to talk, they should say it to my face!" Shouldn't I be sad? Surprised? Hurt. Angry. Frustrated. Annoyed. Irritated. Wounded.
"Alex, what did he say?" Daiki says. His voice is somehow lower than before, softer and gentler. His gaze is darker too, but instead of stone, it reminds me of a never-ending ocean. I blow my bangs out from over my eyes.
"It's fine." I mutter angrily. "It's fine. I'll calm down in a little bit." My pacing slows slightly. He's kidding. That brat always liked to rile me up. It's not like he can actually do anything...I take a deep breath and sigh steadily.
"Look, you idiot, it's not good to bottle things up like that! Just tell me already!" Daiki replies, his face burning slightly. I blink in surprise.
"It's fi-"
"Like hell it is!"
"D-Daiki?" His eyes are dark, his expression grim. Is he grinding his teeth?
"It's really not fair..." Daiki's dark eyes rake over me passionately. "It's not fair that everybody's life sucks. It's not fair that my parents fight, and that your family corners you here. That I get kicked out, and that you can't get back home when you want to. I don't even do anything, and your family doesn't talk to you! So of course it matters!
"I'm sick of just watching you bite your tongue over and over and over again! How you swallow all this crap they send your way and you won't talk to anyone about it! Jesus, Alex, what's wrong with you?" Daiki's outburst surprises me, and for a moment, I almost feel scared. My body stiffens and freezes. "You just keep on taking all this stuff and you won't talk and you won't even fight back! How much do you think you can take?"
I open my mouth to say something, to say anything at all, but nothing comes out except for an unusually strangled noise. I bite my tongue and look down, unsure of what to do. I want to apologize, but I also want to yell. I want to stay, and I want to run. What do I do?
My chest constricts painfully before my mouth makes my decision for me. "What does it matter what I do, Daiki? What does it matter if I fight it or if I take it? It's all the same either way! It won't stop no matter what I do! I can't run away from it, and you can't get into a fistfight with a string of words, so what the hell am I supposed to do?" I reply sharply, trying to subdue my glaring. "Nobody asks for stuff like this!"
"Nobody's supposed to take stuff like this!" He replies in an equally sharp tone. "You're like a damn doormat! You just let everyone walk all over you!"
"What am I supposed to do, slap them and get sued? Get in a fight and get deported?" I hiss.
"Why don't you just get Japanese citizenship?" He says, throwing his hands up. "Then half your problems will disappear!"
"I can't do that without their help! Unless I'm somehow put up for adoption and then naturalized, there's no way I can do that!" I reply testily. "I can't make someone disown me or put me up for adoption, so let it go!" I huff in irritation, grinding my teeth. "I've already looked this stuff up before. There isn't anything I can do until I'm twenty."
The look on Daiki's face is pretty priceless. "You've actually thought of this stuff?" He asks, frowning. I nod with irritation.
"Of course I have. Otherwise I would've moved back by now. There's no need for me to stay here if I don't like living here." I sit down on the coach unceremoniously and stare at the upturned coffee table. I should probably fix that... maybe later. Daiki huffs and sits down next to me.
"Idiot." he says flatly, looking straight ahead.
"Stubborn." I huff back, glaring at the floor.
On Monday, when school starts up again, Daiki drags me to the gym even though neither of us have our practice clothes. I left mine by mistake; he left his on purpose. "Hai-chan!" Momoi calls in surprise, her voice resounding loudly. "What happened on Saturday? You sounded really angry!"
"That's because I am angry!" I reply furiously, grinding my teeth.
"Don't you mean you were angry?" She asks, tilting her head in confusion. I shake mine vehemently.
"I'm furious. I'm still angry." I reply in a growl. "How did you even come across the brat?"
"The brat?" Momoi's eyes widen in confusion.
"Yes, the brat! He looks almost exactly like me, except male! The brat, my brother!" Momoi's eyes widen again.
"Hey, hey, don't yell." Daiki says, patting my head. I jab him violently in the side.
"He showed up after the match and-"
"Does he even speak Japanese?" I ask furiously. "God, why do I have to deal with these people?"
"He used a translator machine thing. He said he was leaving for the airport and to tell you that. He left me with these and said all the paperwork was done." A big orange envelope rests in Momoi's hands, and I recoil from her like she's the plague itself.
"I don't want to see it." I hiss furiously. "How did he even know I was going here? I haven't talked to any of them in months, and that was when I was still planning on Seirin." I take the envelope less than gracefully and rifle through the papers with irritation. Notice of Disownment is typed neatly across the top of the paper. I rip through the envelope, my eyes wide and fearful as I read through the pretty, florid words and assorted documents. "Fuck!" An assortment of different swears tumble from my lips, half Japanese, half English. Renouncement of Citizenship.
"That brat!" I thunder, dropping the papers. "I'll find him if it's the last thing I do!" The only thing keeping me from storming out the gym and hunting down a certain quartet of people is the pair that keeps me pinned to the wall as I yell more and more profanities. "I'll hunt him down! I'll teach him a lesson! I won't take any more of their shit!"
"Hey, what're these papers?" Sakurai asks, picking up the crumpled documents.
"Drop them or die!" I thunder at the shy boy, completely unapologetic. "Don't touch those fucking sheets of paper!" He promptly drops them, apologizing so vehemently and frequently that he runs out of breath and scurries away.
"Wow, you've got a set of lungs." Imayoshi says pleasantly. "And such a short temper~! I wonder what these papers are." His eyes widen slightly as he skims them. "Hm, I can't understand most of it. There are lots of complicated words they haven't taught us yet..." I rip myself free of Momoi and Daiki to snatch the papers out of his grip, crumbling them slightly in my furious grasp.
"They're none of your business, you nosy fucker!" I snarl. Citizenship. Disownment. Expulsion.
"Hai-chan, what do those papers say?" Momoi asks gently. "I didn't mean to give you anything that would upset you so much." My lips curl slightly into a cruel, belittling snarl.
"The only people capable of doing this are them." I hiss, shaking in rage. "You couldn't do this to me even if you tried." My blood is boiling over in rage. I feel like the embodiment of violence, unable to escape the use of my fists to harm another person. "I'll kill them." I growl, unable to tear myself free of the papers, reading them over and over even though their words are etched into my eyes, into my memory, scorched into the center of my chest.
"Give me these." Momoi says, prying my hand loose as Daiki drags me away to the far side of the gym.
"Calm down, Alex." Daiki says flatly, whacking the top of my head. I slap him in return, unable to contain my fury.
"Don't tell me to calm down!" I yell. "I'll do whatever I want!" He grabs my hands, still somehow calm, and narrows his eyes.
"What did they say?" A full ten minutes pass before I calm down. My insides feel completely empty, with just a burning coal of hatred residing inside. I shake again, but not from rage. Despair.
"I don't know how they got it..." I murmur, pulling away so I can lean against the wall. I slide down and tug my knees to my chest. "How could they just do that? I mean, I understand that I wasn't really part of the family anymore, but we were bound by blood... don't blood ties mean anything?" I beg, looking up with pleading eyes. "Isn't family bound by the blood we share?" Daiki sighs.
"What did they do?" He asks, crouching in front of me.
"I got disowned." I say emptily. "Fucking disowned. I don't know how, but my citizenship was also renounced. I don't have a family. I don't even have a country to belong to!" I grab my hair and tug on it viciously. "Tell me it's a dream. Tell me it's a joke. Anything. Tell me anything. Lie to me. I don't care."
"Alex..." Daiki's voice is unusually soft. "Family isn't defined by the blood you share." I look up at him through my teary eyes, trying hard not to scream and cry. "Your family is made up of the people you let into your heart." I choke slightly, wishing I could hit someone. "Momoi!" Daiki goes over to talk to the pinkette as I clutch at my hair, tugging and biting my lip.
"U-Um..."
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I say, looking up at Sakurai. "I'm really sorry. You don't have to forgive me. I... I'm just angry. It was wrong of me to take any of it out on you. I'm so, so sorry." Sakurai gives me this helpless look, his eyes wide.
"S-Sorry!" I laugh slightly.
"No, I'm sorry, Sakurai. You don't need to apologize to me for anything." I sit there for a while, staring at Daiki and Satsuki talking to each other anxiously before I stand. "I'm going home. Please tell Imayoshi that I apologize for not practicing today... and for swearing at him. I'm not sorry for yelling at that four-eyed sadist." Sakurai gulps in a helpless fashion. "See ya."
Satsuki and Daiki's conversation stutters to a halt as I pick up the papers scattered on the floor along with the remnants of the formerly pristine orange envelope. Slipping the wrinkled papers into my backpack, I haul it over my shoulder and gulp anxiously. "I'm going home." I say quietly, avoiding the disgusting pity in Satsuki's eyes. "See you later."
The walk off school grounds takes so much longer than usual. It takes much less time to find Daiki walking beside me as I turn down the street. "I'm sorry." I say quietly. "Go do whatever you want."
Daiki remains unusually quiet beside me, saying nothing. For a while, I'm sure there's something wrong with Daiki. He's not normally this silent. I walk into my apartment in silence and change out of my school uniform. "Alex! Come with me. We're going somewhere." Daiki shouts.
He storms into my room as I'm tugging on my shirt. "Out, Daiki. This makes four times." The usual umph and amused fury doesn't make it into my words. "Learn to knock."
"Good, you're dressed!" Daiki says. "Now, we're going." Daiki's hand roughly grabs my own and drags me out the door. He has a bat in one hand and my keys tangled around his long fingers.
"Daiki! Let me go, Daiki!" I say forcefully. "Daiki!" The blue-haired wonder doesn't respond at all as he drags me through the labyrinth of streets. Of course, it receives many strange stares.
How often does anyone see a tall Japanese boy with blue hair carrying a heavy softball bat while dragging a foreign student through the streets of Tokyo as she hisses, "Daiki, let go of me" to him? Hell, if it weren't me being dragged across town, I'd record this.
After another five minutes, I stop attempting resistance and let him lead me to wherever it is I'm going. Hopefully, smashing yakuzas' windshields. And no, I don't have a death wish. Smashing things amuses me as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
"Daiki..." My voice finally bears notes of irritation.
"We're here." He says, dragging me into a tall building and up two flights of stairs.
"Hai-chan!" I start at the voice of someone I haven't seen in a long time. "Hai-chan, Hai-chan!" I stumble as Mizuki's arms are thrown around my neck.
"Mizuki?" My eyes are all sorts of wide and surprised. A familiar short figure, and a taller, lankier one wave behind her. "Haruna? Kagome?"
"Hai-chan, do you even use a phone anymore? All my calls go straight to voicemail!" Haruna whines sweetly. I struggle to smile.
"Ah, sorry. I lost the charger for a while and haven't checked my voicemail yet." I reply sheepishly. "My bad."
"We've been waiting for you." Kagome says with a smile. "It's your turn!" She points to the batting cage in front of her. "We all have our own and have gone a few rounds." I have to borrow a helmet, but with my bat and a grateful look at Daiki, I step in.
My time lasts for half an hour, the longest I've been in here for a while. My hitting isn't any worse than before, but it has much more umph, more passion and violence and power to it than the last time I was here. Daiki just gave me a way to vent... Daiki... have you always been like this? My chest constricts as soon as my time is up.
I owe Daiki for this. He gave me a way to vent violently. He gave me an opportunity to feel better, to release all my anger. What can I do to repay such a debt? Thoughts swirl in my head as I bid my former teammates goodbye and walk side by side with Daiki, my bat resting casually over my shoulder. "Do I look like a hoodlum like this?" I ask, referring to the fact that I'm carrying a bat. "'Cause I don't feel like getting arrested. Not now, not ever." Daiki laughs, a rough, charming noise that sets my fears at ease.
"Sure." He replies easily, arms shoved in his pockets. "You look terrifying. All 167 centimeters of you." I huff in mock annoyance, glaring at him playfully.
"It's not my fault I'm short. You're 192 centimeters for crying out loud! That's fricking tall!" I reply teasingly. It takes me a while to do that math in my head. He's almost a foot taller than me... when did I get so short?! I smile vaguely in amusement, trying hard not to snicker at our height difference.
"Nah, it's pretty standard for basketball." Daiki says bluntly. I facepalm in irritation. "You're just short. You're lucky you've got good legs." Our faces both burn as we realize just how out of place that statement sounds. "A-Ah not that I-I've-"
"Of c-course you haven't-t-"
"I mean it's n-not like I-I"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!" We both sweatdrop with a faint sense of relief as the moment passes.
"The way to a girl's heart is usually through flattery, you know~!" I say jokingly, bumping him with a faint smile.
"Really? I thought it was through buying her things." He replies in an equally teasing manner.
"No, no, first you buy her lots of shiny things, then you drown her in flattery." I say cheekily.
"Oh~? But that doesn't always work." Daiki says with a roll of his eyes. "What do I do then?"
"Oh, you treat them like an animal in bed." I say, carefully choosing such misleading words. "Wrap them in a blanket, give them food, and pet them." Daiki stops and stares at me in shock before he guffaws. I chuckle in equal amusement.
"What if this person's more like a cat?" He snickers.
"Hm..." I reply, feigning my seriousness. "I suppose you could always just act like a normal person?" We stare at each other for a moment.
"Nope!" We say in unison, grinning.
"Ah, to find someone of equal weirdness." I say with a sigh. "Preferably one that will feed you. And cuddles. Cuddles are nice." Daiki snickers beside me, ruffling my hair. I swat his hand away lightheartedly. Daiki always puts me in a good mood at the end of the day.