A/N: oh hai. my dear readers. wassup.
IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING OK PLEASE DON'T HURT ME ._.
Things have been busy. Eh. I know. First semester's over though so yeah...fun stuff.
And since its winter break and stuff i know i should be updating...but I've been rewatching a bunch of old anime teehee. like lovely complex and Hanasakeru Seishounen and skip beat and omg SO EMOTIONAL AND FULL OF THE FEELS. the more shoujo i watch, the more I wonder when my kick ass super hot, drop dead gorgeous Tsuruga Ren will appear. oh gosh. I'm being brainwashed. yelp. /foreverahopelessromanticthat iscursedtobeforeveralone
^yeah don't even try to read that lol.
Anyway. Here you go~
"Sir...er...Mister...May I call you mister?"
The old man narrowed his eyes at the blue haired boy standing before him.
"No."
The young student cleared his throat before continuing.
"Um...Sir Makarov...Mr. Dreyar, or whatever it is you'll allow me to address you as, why must I take care of...that."
He averted his eyes to this loosely clad woman tapping her foot and waiting impatiently outside the principal's office.
"Mystogan...is that your first name or surname?"
"...excuse me?"
"Like I said. What's your full name? I don't know what I should call you by, you know? 'Cause it's awk to call someone 'Mister or Miss' with their first name rather than their last name. Right?"
"...awk?"
Makarov sighed and patted the student on the back.
"Why the objection?"
"She's. A. Pain. In. The. Ass."
"And a nice ass at that..."
"...Well if you'll excuse me, as I now realize that no one gives a damn about my problems, I have a class to get to. With that woman."
He began to walk towards the exit, but turned around promptly before muttering, "at least give her a uniform already."
Mystogan was getting killed inside the whole male population's minds. What was this, some shoujo manga? Was this how those can't-do-shit-for-themselves-shoujo heroines felt? You know, after they got themselves their own hottie, all the female bitches in highschool bullied her till she was in tears? The whole, I'm jelly of your bf so I'll steal your desk, your shoes, dump a bucket of ice water on you from the 3rd floor, etc.
It applied to guys too, right?
(Dear My Cute Little Mysty, no. It applies to girls alone. Knightwalker just seems to be the pants in the relationship. Which is actually ironic, considering her lack of them...but we digress.)
He shivered involuntarily. Being in her presence made his stomach churn uncomfortably. And not in a good way; if there even were a good way.
Besides, what the fuck was she wearing! Well actually, a better question would have been, what the fuck is she NOT WEARING.
Pants- yes, pants would be nice. Or at least a proper uniform. Perhaps a skirt that covered that so called "nice" ass of hers.
Shoes that didn't have 7 inch long hooker heels would've also helped to tone down her...rather striking, so to say, appearance.
No, forget striking. That was an understatement. Her getup practically screamed "WHORE" all over it.
Mystogan almost felt pity for those who fell for it.
Maybe Knightwalker had a little business going on. A I'll-let-you-do-me-if-you-let-me-bitch-at-you agreement. Just maybe.
"Hey, Mystogan! Hurry up. I need to get to class. So if you would, Mr. Tour Guide."
Spat with sarcasm.
Oh, how much he wanted to spit at her. But Mystogan was a gentleman. He didn't spit at ladies-or at least, biologically labeled ladies.
Then again, it wasn't like she looked like a dude. Pfft, and she certainly didn't dress like one. But she acted like one. Or maybe not? 'Cause if she acted like a dude, then the term 'bitch' wouldn't apply. And it sure as hell did apply.
"HEY!"
Her loud outburst dripping with anger interrupted his rather insulting thought processes. Oh well.
"Give me your schedule." Mystogan irritably looked at the knightmare in front of him.
Wow Myst, you're so punny.
She shoved a piece of paper at him and he reluctantly took it, rapidly reading through her classes as the bell rang.
And then it hit him.
SHE HAD ALL THE SAME FUCKING CLASSES THAT HE DID AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.
"Well? You figured out where my classes are, or am I just gonna sit here all day."
He sighed and mumbled not-soft-enoughly, "I'd actually prefer the latter."
"Hah? What'd you say?!"
"Have you even looked at your schedule yet?"
The redhead narrowed her eyes. "Uh, no. That's what you're for."
He took a deep breath in and cleared his throat.
"Your 1st-4th periods are in the main building; I'm sure even you're capable of reading signs and room numbers so have fun with that. 5th and 8th period are in the science building, because they're SCIENCE classes, and your 9th period is in the lit building. It's on the side opposite to the science department. 6th and 7th period are lunch periods. 6th is for lower school (grades 1-8) so I'd like to interest you in spending some quality lunch time with students at the same mental level as you."
"Easy now, tiger."
"Mhm, well bye. I'm going to use the restroom. Good luck on finding your classes."
Erza Scarlet sat in her 1st hour Bio class wondering where Mystogan and her slut of a counterpart were. Right before the late bell rang, said male ran in.
Ur glanced at the panting student and chuckled. "Take a seat. Class is starting."
Jellal nudged Erza in the stomach and whispered, "Hey, doesn't that kid look exactly like me? How is that even possible. There shouldn't be any man on earth that's as handsome as I am. I just don't get it..."
Scarlet smirked as a sinister grin spread across her face. "Ohmygosh! You're right. In fact, I think he's even more attractive than you. I like the cool and quiet type, you know. Maybe I'll ask him out later."
"..."
And thus Jellal went into a deep state of depression and despair.
Erza stared sympathetically at her lover. Too harsh?
"Come on, it was a joke. Keep your head up, 'else Ur'll chop it off."
He lifted his head slightly with watery eyes. "No...I see it. You're right. His facial features are totally more symmetrical than mine, and gosh, symmetry is everything."
"What, are you Death the Kid now?"
"No, but I wish I were dead."
"Dramatic as ever, Princess Jellal."
"..."
That was odd. No retort.
Damn, did she really hurt his feelings? With just that?
"Dude..."
"I think you mean 'dudette'. I am a princess after all."
"Aw, is it your time of month too?"
"Yeah. You know how it is. Whenever someone who's constantly around you gets it, their hormones send signals and soon you get it too. But I guess I won't have that problem anymore, since you're ditching me for Mystogan. Well, this'll probably be the last time we'll be on our periods simultaneously. I guess it's better that way..."
"Jellal..."
He sighed and lowered his head into his arms again.
"YO, FERNANDEZ, YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT SLEEPING IN MY CLASS?!"
"Ms. Ur, he's feeling unwell today. It's that time of the month again, if you know what I mean."
"...Alright. Jellal, tell me if you need to go to the nurse's office for Advil or something to suppress those cramps."
By the way, all this talk about hormonal and moody teenage girls reminds me about Knightwalker.
Where was said temperamental bitch?
They could hear it. The footsteps-or more like, stomps. THEY WERE COMING CLOSER.
A monster?
Godzilla?
A pissed off obese woman?
Oh heavens no; worse.
Worse?
A pissed off Erza Knightwalker soon stormed through the doors of her 3rd period Calculus class, emitting a murderous aura.
"Miss Knightwalker, how kind of you to join us toda-"
"YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH."
"...Excuse m-?"
"NOT YOU, THAT SORRY EXCUSE OF THE HUMAN MALE SPECIES."
She stabbed her index finger in the direction of the blue haired bishounen we know today as Mystogan.
"Erza, no need to point now."
"YOU BETTER BE FUCKING GLAD THAT IT'S NOT MY MIDDLE FINGER."
"I don't see the difference..."
The teacher forcefully coughed repetitively, an attempt to stop their fight; a very sad, and unsuccessful attempt.
Scarlet looked at Jellal, hoping to see a reaction from him. He was student council president for gods sake, this was his job.
Not that she expected him to carry out his job anyway...
She exasperatingly exhaled and inhaled before gathering enough breath to yell over Knightwalker.
"MISS KNIGHTWALKER, calm the fuck down and sit your ass down in a chair. This is a highschool; a place that you've clearly proven yourself to be incompatible with."
Scarlet smiled sarcastically and turned towards Mystogan.
"Now, Mystogan, would you mind enlightening us on what the hell this is about?"
He shook his head in confusion. "I haven't the slightest clue about what this is about."
The head of the disciplinary committee scowled before returning her solid glare to Knightwalker.
"Well, I don't expect to hear much truth from you, but, Miss Knightwalker, care to explain?"
"He gave me entirely false instructions on where my classes were. I have Bio first period and he told me that my first 4 periods were in the main building."
"That's enough. Even if you received incorrect directions, I'm sure you know how to decipher building and room numbers. Grow up. It shouldn't take you 2 and a half periods to find your room."
Before entering Gildarts' 5th hour class, Erza caught sight of Mystogan and cornered him into...well, a corner.
"What was all that about? You're not the type of person to be this immature. Is there a reason why you hate her guts. I mean, I understand that she's...unique...but it's not like you to purposely piss people off."
Mystogan let out a sigh and replied wearily, "Yeah, I know. Sorry. She just gets on my nerves. And you're right, I shouldn't have lied."
"Hmmm, so this girl makes even the calm and mysterious Mystogan irritated? Must be special. I hope you 2 lovebirds figure it out soon though, this school can't handle that much fury; especially with me around."
"We-We are not lovebirds!"
"Uh huh. Sure."
"ANYWAYS. How are you and Fernandez?"
"..."
"Er...guess you're not."
Erza walked into her 9th hour English class and smiled when she saw Jellal already at his desk.
"Hey...I'm sorry about earlier."
"Whatever. I saw you talking to Mystogan earlier today. In your little corner and all. It's alright, I understand. I guess I'll just have to settle with Zeref..."
A/N: And there you have it ladies and gentlemen~ a very boring, attempt at a lengthy, humorless chapter.
I'm so sorry.
i don't even have the nerve to beg for reviews.