(I HATE IT) when you stare

Thank you guys for your feedback :) Also I changed the title of the fic :S

Sasori

"What the..." Sasori's jaw dropped. Of all the things he's thought would happen at the party, Deidara stripping off his shirt and table dancing to Biggie Smalls had definitely not been on the list. Yahiko followed his gaze, turned around, and laughed.

"How much has he had to drink?" he asked. Sasori didn't answer. Deidara was flipping his long hair around, popping and swaying his hips, then squatting and tilting his hips, shaking out his hair. A crowd of people were cheering around him.

"Looks like Konan's trying to get him down." Yahiko commented, pointing. He was right. And next to her, Pein was looking up at Deidara, a bizarre grin on his face.

Sasori handed Yahiko the rest of his beer and walked inside. He shoved his way through the crowd of people until he was next to Konan. One look at Deidara's face told him he was completely trashed.

"How many shots has he had?" he asked Konan. She bit her lips and handed him Deidara's abandoned tank top.

"I'm not sure. I think he-"

"Are you going up there next?" Pein asked, leaning into her space, running his lips over her neck. Sasori raised his eyebrows as Konan flinched and laughed nervously.

Sasori switched his attention back to Deidara, frowning up at him. Not that he wasn't enjoying the show, but he was a little concerned. He got a lot more concerned when Deidara threw back his head and cracked it on the huge chandelier above him. The crowd of people all cheered as he fell backwards into them. Sasori shoved his way over again and swung Deidara's arm over his shoulders. He began to walk purposefully out of the room, shouldering his way through, which was a lot more difficult to do with Deidara hanging off him. God damn it he was heavy.

"Come on."

"Get off."

"You might have a concussion."

"You have a concussion." Deidara slurred grumpily. Sasori laughed as they staggered through the garden. Was that his response to everything? Sasori glanced at Yahiko, who handed him a water bottle as they passed him.

"Hey, Sailor Moon."

"Yeah?"

"If you want to be that girl's best friend right now... I'd go and get her away from that creep. Just saying. Weird vibes." Sasori panted as he tried to support more of Deidara's weight and not overbalance. Yahiko frowned and looked towards the house.

"Let go of me." Deidara grumbled as Sasori walked him across the street towards the playground.

"Believe me, I'd love to. Why the hell are you so heavy?" Sasori said through his teeth as Deidara hung his head forward and laughed. Sasori wrinkled his nose- his breath was basically vaporized tequila.

"I'm not heavy. You're scrawny. You're a toothpick, un. Ugh... I wanna sleep..." Sasori rolled his eyes and positioned Deidara on a swing, shoving the water bottle into his hands before sitting down on the one next to it.

"Don't go to sleep. You might have a concussion. Here's your shirt, by the way." Sasori said, tossing him the tank top. With clumsy movements, Deidara pulled it on. Sasori looked him over. He looked pretty awful.

"So... considering that I know you can be a huge dickhead... why do you let Pein get to you?" he asked at length. Deidara looked up at him, his mouth hanging open. He looked so completely hammered. Sasori leaned back in the swing, rubbing the cold chain with his thumbs.

"I saw him talking to you before you got on the table." he said. Deidara groaned.

"I hate him." he mumbled.

"Fair enough." Sasori said with a shrug, looking up at the moon. Deidara was quiet. Sasori glanced at him. He was leaning his face against the chain of the swing, motionless. Sasori scooted off his swing and grabbed Deidara's face, slapping him lightly.

"Deidara, wake up. Come on." He pushed Deidara's long hair out of his eyes. "Hey, hey, come on. Wake up." Deidara's eyelids fluttered opened. Sasori breathed a small sigh of relief. Deidara looked at him quietly for a moment, then said "Hey." Sasori glanced at him. Deidara grinned.

"Your eyes... they're pretty."

Then his body convulsed and he threw up. The vomit hit the ground with an unpleasant splat.

"Oh, gross." Sasori moaned, shoving Deidara and tip-toeing his way back to his own swing. Deidara leaned his face against the chain of his swing and groaned.

"Yuck."

"Uh, yeah." Sasori wrinkled his nose. Really, really gross. "Hey, uh... thanks for earlier." Deidara grunted something that was probably supposed to be "what?" as he opened the water bottle. He rinsed out his mouth several times, spitting the water out onto the ground.

"The shot glass. ...Thanks." Somehow, talking sincerely to Deidara was much easier when he was sick and hammered. Maybe that wasn't a big surprise.

"Whatever." They were quiet for a few minutes, Sasori checking every so often to make sure Deidara was still awake.

"Hey..."

"Mmm?"

"You can piss off now. I'm fine, un." Sasori snorted.

"Uh-huh. Of course you are. Apparently you haven't noticed, but you're a walking barf bag right now. Someone has to make sure you don't fall into a coma, or choke to death on your own vomit." Deidara wrinkled his nose at him.

"Fuck off. Why the hell would you care if I never wake up?" Sasori grinned at him, enjoying Deidara's standard scowl-and-eye-roll reaction.

"Come on. If you die, I'd have to start asking out people who actually like me." Deidara snorted.

"Like you could find one."

"There you go. Who needs affection when I have pure, unadulterated hatred?" Sasori asked. Deidara didn't say anything for a while.

"Hey, does that happen to you a lot?" His voice was soft. Sasori looked at him. He was starting to look a little better. At least he was drinking the water.

"Does what happen a lot? Being nearly barfed on? No, not particularly often..."

"You know what I mean. The drunk guy." Sasori shrugged.

"Not really. It would happen less if I looked more like my dad. But, alas, I inherited my mother's amazing good looks."

"Such a curse." Deidara grumbled. Sasori smirked.

"Curse? More like blessing. See, if I looked more like my dad, I wouldn't get called 'pretty boy' by a certain blond table dancer..."

"Shut up." Deidara said, swatting at Sasori's arm as he laughed.

Konan

Konan was worried about Deidara. Sasori had somehow got him outside, but she couldn't see where they'd gone after that, and since she hardly knew Sasori, she was more than a little worried. She pursed her lips, looking out the window.

"Let's go upstairs. Come on." Pein breathed into her ear, running a hand gently up her waist. She stood on her toes so he could hear her and said she was worried about Deidara and wanted to look for him. Pein's grin flickered for a second, but then it was back, warm and friendly.

"He's ok, Konan. He's a big boy, isn't he? He can take care of himself."

"I'm just going to check on him, okay? I'll be back." She smiled at him and wove her way through the crowd, making her way outside. She looked around and walked along the dark garden path, walking past the garage. She wondered if they'd gone to the park...

A cool hand grabbed her wrist, and she turned around in surprise. Pein smiled at her and leaned against the side of the house. His grin was inviting.

"Come on, Konan. He's fine." His hand reached up and stroked her neck then started playing with her necklace. His other hand slid down her waist to her hip and started pulling her towards him. She looked over her shoulder. She kind of wished somebody would walk past.

Pein pulled her to him and started kissing her neck. She stood still, biting her lips. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Was this a bad situation? Was this bad? Konan's mind was totally blank. Pein's hands skimmed down her back and gripped her ass. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She was stiff in his arms. This was bad, this was bad, right?

Konan was staring hard at the wall over Pein's shoulder. She couldn't move. He moved his mouth to hers, brushed his lips over hers, then abruptly put his tongue in and mashed their mouths together. His hands seized her to him, one of them pulling at the hem of her dress. She was shaking. One of his hands skimmed under her dress, reaching up between her legs. She found she could move, and shoved him, hard. He looked angry, and then-

"It's okay, it's okay." He came back, grabbing her again, trying to pull her towards the garage.

"Stop it, stop it.." she was moaning, crying now, trying to push him off her. His arms were like snakes, grabbing her as soon as she got him off. He stopped moving suddenly. She followed his gaze, and thought she was going to collapse from relief.

Yahiko had just come around the corner, hands in pockets. He was looking at Pein, his face completely impassive. He leaned against the wall. Konan's eyes fell on his Sailor Moon shirt. Despite herself, despite her situation, she gave a faint, hiccough-y giggle. She wondered if she was in shock. She had never, ever been so happy to see someone in her entire life. Yahiko looked at her.

"Are you okay right now?" he asked her.

"She's fine, get the fuck out of here." Pein said angrily, pulling Konan against him.

Yahiko didn't look away from her. He repeated himself. She shook her head.

"Come on." Yahiko said, reaching a hand towards her. Pein kept a grip on her wrist for a moment, then let go, saying "Fuck" under his breath. Konan took Yahiko's hand and they walked down the drive way.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked her softly. She nodded.

"Where's your car?" he asked. Konan wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"H-He drove me..."

"Do you want a ride?" Yahiko asked. She nodded and took a steadying breath. And then started to cry again. Her eyes weren't properly dry again until they'd been driving for ten minutes.

"Don't... Don't take me home right away, please." she said, tugging off her shoes and hugging her knees to her chest. "I can't let my dad see.." Yahiko nodded and pulled over next to an elementary school. He shut off the engine. Konan took a deep breath and wiped her face.

"I can't believe he did that." she muttered. She sighed deeply again, closed her eyes, and pressed a fist to her forehead. "And before I forget, I really love your shirt."

"Thanks."

She looked at Yahiko, who was fiddling with the CD player. He turned the key one click and Fleetwood Mac started to play softly. She leaned back in the seat and bit her lips.

She wondered if she should tell him.

Tell him why she couldn't push Pein away.

Tell him about how she froze in panic, her mind completely blank. About how all she could see was that face, his face.

Tell him about her dad's old friend. About how having him babysit her after school had fucked her up so much that for several months afterwards she had peed her pants, too scared to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom. If she told him about that, he might ask about the therapy afterwards. About how she was still screwed up by it. About how sometimes she still couldn't sleep, remembering all of it. Remembering her dad's face when she finally managed to tell him.

She decided against it.

"Look, this might sound weird, but... can we not talk about what, what happened?" He looked at her. "I know... you maybe have some questions, and I will probably answer them. But not tonight, okay?"

"Sure." She smiled at him gratefully. He scratched his nose, looking like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how to start.

"Uh, thank you, by the way. It kinda pisses me off, but this is the second time in as many days that you've saved my butt." She said with a stab at a humorous tone. Yahiko gave a small grin, drumming his fingers on the arm rest between them. Konan glanced down at his hand and snorted with laughter. She grabbed his hand and squinted at the back of it.

"Is that... a temporary tattoo?" she asked, giggling.

"Uh... yeah." He sounded kind of embarrassed. Konan rubbed her finger over the little image of Mona the Vampire, giggling.

"Man, you are actually a nine-year-old girl." Yahiko smiled and pressed his other hand over his eyes.

"I forgot about it. I found a box of them in my cupboard. I guess the previous tenants had a kid, and didn't remove everything..."

"Oh my god, you're awesome." Konan murmured, running her finger gently over the tattoo again. When she glanced up, Yahiko was looking shyly at her hand on his. She grinned.

She considered his short, messy hair. His long nose. His slightly stuck-out ears. His faded Sailor Moon t-shirt. His long limbs. His pretty eyes. She thought about his Hello Kitty flip flops. His capoeira classes. His love of Beyonce. His short-shorts. The pictures of space he had glued to his french notebook. The way he moved snails off of the sidewalk in the rain. She pushed her fingers between his and held his hand. He was blushing.

"Are you drunk?" he mumbled. God he was cute. She shrugged.

"Maybe." She tried very hard not to lean across and kiss him.

She was pretty sure he liked her. And she was starting to be pretty sure she liked him back. But she wasn't exactly great at making the first move (after all, partly thanks to her dad, she had zilch in terms of dating experience). Not to mention, even if she did make a move, she wasn't allowed to date him. And she was a really shitty liar, so secretly dating him was probably out, too...

"Er, so, um..." Great start, Konan. Stellar. You're a natural. "Uh, can I just say something crazy?"

Oh perfect, fucking perfect. Way to go, Konan, you fucking moron. In a time of crisis when stuttering nonsensically, what is your solution? Accidentally quoting a Disney movie. A Disney movie she didn't even like much. Fudge. She mentally slapped herself in the forehead.

"I love crazy." Yahiko said, probably teasing her. She pressed a first to her forehead and sighed.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend that didn't just happen. Anyway, um, I was going to say that I... Er..."

Why. Why, why, why was this happening now!? If Nagato could see her, he'd be laughing himself silly. She knew what she wanted to say: "Yahiko, I know it's kind of weird to say this so hastily, especially after what happened with Pein earlier, but I really like you, I think, and I want to date you, but I can't." But god, saying that was... completely pointless, right? At least he'd know how she felt, but then what?

"Um, I..."

Ugh, disaster. Complete disaster. Her face was getting hot. This was so not her. Yes, she wasn't great at talking about feelings. Yes, she didn't have very much actual romantic experience. But she was usually pretty straightforward, sometimes blunt. She usually just said what she was thinking. This was not going well at all.

She pulled her hand out of Yahiko's and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her sweater. She didn't look at him. And then she realized that since he maybe didn't know that she was trying to say she liked him, doing that might seem like she was saying the opposite. So she had fucked up. For a moment, she thought he might be pissed, thinking she friend-zoned him. So she'd then have to end-zone him. But the idea of such a stupid thing coming out of Yahiko's mouth seemed absurd. Impossible, even. She cleared her throat.

"Okay, uh, so, I'm sorry that I have like, not even said anything for the past two minutes. And I want you to know that I am usually not like this-"

"I know."

"Good. So, uh." She balled her hands into fists. Leaving him tonight without saying anything was so not her.

"Basically, I don't know what you think... but I don't dislike you at all. And I know it's weird for me to say this tonight, when you just, uh, saved my butt from a really uncomfortable situation... And I mean, we haven't really known each other very long at all. But I just wanted you to know that, um, even if I wanted to, I'm not allowed to date anybody... Wait, that sounds... "

Oh god, oh god. Train wreck. Plane crash. Armageddon.

"Like, uh, please just kill me now if I misunderstood you, and you just want to be friends... because I love friends, and I think that we could be really good friends, and I'd really like you as a friend! But... uh..."

She forced herself to look at him. His mouth was open, apparently in surprise. He was blushing, like a fucking pin up girl. He looked like porn.

"Screw it." she muttered. She reached over, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him towards her. "I like you." she said. She was trying to look serious, but she was probably glaring at him.

"Can I.." he paused.

She kissed him.

Deidara

Sasori pulled up to the house and cut the engine, a little awkwardly. Had Deidara been less drunk, it might have occurred to him to ask Sasori if he had actually passed his driving test before handing over the keys. Of course, had Deidara been less drunk, he would have paid attention when Sasori explicitly told him that he hadn't.

"You feeling better?" Sasori asked him. Deidara hummed darkly, keeping his head propped up against his window. He felt like shit.

He heard Sasori's seat belt click and opened his eyes, surprised, when a cool hand took hold of his chin and turned his head to face Sasori, who had leaned forward so their faces were barely five inches apart. He looked carefully into Deidara's eyes.

"Stop staring at me." Deridara mumbled.

"Just checking your pupils for over-dilation..." Sasori said. Deidara dropped his gaze to Sasori's lips.

"Is your vision blurred?" Deidara shook his head.

"You remember how you hit your head?" He nodded.

"You have a headache?" Another nod. Sasori smirked, sending a jolt straight to Deidara's stomach.

"You'll be fine." He said, starting to pull away.

Without thinking at all, Deidara grabbed his shirt and pulled him back over. Sasori's eyes were wide.

"What..." he said softly. Deidara tipped his head forward, just missing his lips, and rested his forehead on Sasori's shoulder. He shut his eyes, listening to Sasori's nervous breathing. His skin smelled like sawdust and oranges.

"Deidara..." Sasori put a hand on his chest. To push him away? Or to keep him there?

Deidara tilted his chin and kissed Sasori's neck. Sasori exhaled slowly, and the hand on Deidara's chest closed into a fist, gently gripping his shirt. Deidara dragged his mouth up Sasori's cool skin, kissing the edge of his jaw and then brushing over to his lips.

Sasori jerked back and pressed himself against the door. His mouth opened and closed wordlessly for a few seconds as he stared at Deidara.

"M... Maybe later." he said breathlessly before opening the car door and running across the driveway, skidding on the gravel, and then disappearing down the road.

Deidara stared, dumbfounded, at Sasori's shrinking figure as it faded into the darkness. Eventually he pulled the keys out of the ignition numbly, and crushed them within his fist. The bite of the sharp metal in his hand kind of woke him up to what had just happened; he had just made a move, an undeniable physical move, on Sasori.

Sasori, the smug dickhead who he was incredibly attracted to, but who he ultimately detested. He had tried to kiss him. He had basically made love to his neck with his mouth. While being at least partly sober. And as if that weren't bad enough, Sasori had literally run away.

Deidara stepped out of the car and slammed the door. He gritted his teeth, seething, glaring at the end of the now-empty street. He whirled around and punched the side of the house with all his might.

"GAAHH!"

He broke two fingers.

Sasori

"Good morning!" Sasori raised his head off of his arms just enough to see half of a faded pink Destiny's Child shirt.

"Don't you have any normal clothes?" he asked, letting his head fall back down into his folded arms. The desk moved as Yahiko sat down on its edge.

"How much did you drink at the party? You look awful." Sasori took that as a 'No, I don't.'

"Gee, thanks." Sasori pushed himself up off of the desk and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his face.

"Sorry." Yahiko handed him a coffee. Sasori looked up, surprised.

"Is this for me?" Yahiko nodded.

"I got coffee with Hidan, and I think the guy who works there just got really worked up." Sasori quirked an eyebrow and Yahiko explained further. "Uh, I got the feeling he was friends with the guy Hidan threw coffee at. So he was yelling at him, and then Hidan called him a 'fat fuck', and I was caught between them trying to get my drink, and then the guy kind of swelled up and started giving me a load of coffees I didn't order... so, uh, enjoy."

"Thanks." Sasori said drily, taking a sip.

"By the way, thanks for letting me know Konan was in trouble." Yahiko said, scooting back on the desk until he was sitting on it fully, facing Sasori.

"Huh?"

"At the party. You were right, and that guy was..." Yahiko scowled at his coffee. "A major dickhead."

Oh yeah. Sasori had kind of entirely forgotten about that. He shrugged, trying to say 'No problem' without actually having to move his mouth. He didn't have a hangover, but he did feel like trash. Incredibly stressed trash. And it was mostly thanks to the very dickhead Yahiko was talking about.

"So, how're things going with Deidara?" Yahiko asked, taking a textbook out of his bag and flipping through it, apparently making a half-hearted effort to study for a test or something. Sasori frowned at the hole that seemed to go through the whole thing.

"What the hell did you do to that book?" Yahiko looked up at him, and Sasori almost burst out laughing- as much of a dorkish puppy that this guy was, he had serious bitch-face skills.

"You mean, what the hell did you do to this book. You drilled through it. In this very room. Like, exactly a week ago."

"Oh, yeah." Sasori snorted. "Sorry." He took another sip of his coffee and sighed. "Alright, let's get this over with."

"What?" Bless him, he actually looked confused.

"So how did things go with Deidara's cousin?" Sasori asked, bracing himself for a flood of mushy, wangsty, Nicholas Sparks bullshit. Yahiko blushed. Ugh.

"Um, well, pretty good! Really good, actually..." And, as expected, he launched into what felt like a half-hour of romantic play-by-play. Great.

Sasori weathered through it, saying "uh-huh", "mhmm", and "huh" at regular intervals, sipping his coffee and nodding sleepily. It was more efficient to let Yahiko go on and on about it now, when all Sasori wanted to do was go lie down in a darkened room, rather than later when he finally started working. Luckily he was nearly done most of his homework- his usual diligence allowed him to have one morning of sluggish self-pity and laziness.

"...so I really hope things are going well with Deidara. Although, now that I think of it, I wonder if Pein's going to give up and stop paying you. In which case-"

"Wait, what?" Sasori jerked himself out of his stupor, blinking up at Yahiko, who grinned.

"You weren't listening at all, were you?" Sasori shook his head. "Alright. Basically, I think that Konan asked me out. Except she still thinks we can't go out, because Deidara's not dating anyone. She thinks. So I was wondering how things were going with that, and also if you'd talked to Pein, because-"

"Yeah, I talked to Pein yesterday. It wasn't a great talk." Sasori said, giving Yahiko a look. Yahiko just looked confused.

"So what happened?" Sasori pushed his chair back and looked around. The work shop was too full of people who knew people.

"Come outside."

"So... what did Pein say?" Yahiko asked as they walked past the book store. Sasori rubbed his face and sighed.

"I ran into him at the hardware store. No idea why he was there, but he seemed really intent on wasting my time. He seemed really pissed at that chick-"

"Konan?"

"Uh-huh. I wasn't really listening- he seemed like he was trying very hard to be Pulp Fiction but he was coming off more Twilight. I was kind of waiting for him to sparkle me into submission or something. Anyway, he's pissed at her, and pissed at a certain 'cunt-faced Flame Prince'." Sasori smirked up at Yahiko. "Any ideas about that?"

"...Uh, he watches Adventure Time?" Yahiko asked, pushing open the doors.

"Yes, but also he kind of wants to kill you. Which wouldn't be a big deal-"

"How is that anything but a big deal?"

"-except that apparently, you are the most naive person I've ever met." Sasori stopped at the edge of the forest, scraped some mud off the sole of his shoe on a twig. He gave Yahiko a serious look. The kid just looked surprised. Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Look, it's not really my business what's going on with you and that chick, but... like I didn't ask before, because I didn't care, and I still don't- but why the hell did you get that guy to pay me to take Deidara to a party? Like seriously. That was the worst idea ever." Yahiko looked uncomfortable.

"Uh, because he had incentive to want Konan to go to the party? And it's not like you'd have volunteered. Hidan said-" Sasori shut his eyes and tugged at the edges, taking a breath.

"Okay. Never listen to anything that shit-for-brains says, ever. And so what if Pein wanted Konan to go to the party? You thought that after you got her to see how much of a dickhead he is, that would just stop? He'd just give up on her, but what, keep paying me so you could keep up this weird scheme? Or, you were hoping he wouldn't realize that you've been trying to move in on the same girl? You thought that she would never think it was weird?" Yahiko was frowning at the ground. Sasori wasn't sure if none of this had occurred to him before, or it had and he'd just been ignoring it.

"So... what did he actually say to you?" he asked at length. Sasori sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweater.

"He basically said that if you get in the way again, he's going to rip off your dick. And he said he's going to pound that Marilyn body if it's the last thing he does. Paraphrased." Yahiko's mouth tightened and he clenched his fists. Sasori shrugged. "Anyway, I told him that I didn't want to do it any more, partly because I pissed Deidara off-"

"I thought you said pissed off was good?"

"Not in this case. And besides, a hundred and fifty bucks really isn't that much."

"Well... what did he say?" Sasori shrugged and held up his hand, tugging his sleeve down. Yahiko stared at the rows of dotted dried blood that ran down his arm from the back of his hand to half-way to his elbow.

"He was holding a staple gun." Sasori explained. "I gotta say, I was impressed. I had just thought he'd bare his teeth at me and hiss or some shit. The point is, he's now paying me four hundred bucks a week until he gets what he wants." Yahiko rubbed the back of his head and turned away, kicking up some leaves.

Sasori scratched his nose and checked his watch. Well, he was missing his class today, apparently. He wasn't too bothered- he didn't particularly want to spend three hours in the same room with Deidara today. Especially since he was pretty sure Deidara would try to blow him up on sight.

"You wanna get some lunch?" he asked. Yahiko nodded.

"Jumbo Sushi ok?"

"Sure."

"Alright, Yoncé, what's the plan?" Sasori asked, snapping his chopsticks apart and rubbing them together. Yahiko frowned, but then grinned as he tried and failed to pick up his yam tempura with his chopsticks.

"Are you going to give me a new nickname based on my shirt every time you see me?"

"Yes. You're holding those wrong." Sasori fixed his grip. "Anyway, what exactly are you planning to do? Just keep going with your masterful plan?"

"Well, do you have a suggestion? Because, let's face it, you're not going to go out with Deidara unless you're getting paid-"

"True." Deidara was a serious pain in the ass. There was no way Sasori was going to put up with his shit unless someone was paying his rent for him.

"- and there's also no way Deidara would just pretend to be dating someone so Konan could go out with me."

"Also very true. Not to mention his uncle would probably demand to meet the imaginary boyfriend. Or girlfriend." Sasori frowned. He'd never asked what exactly Deidara's sexuality was. Didn't really make a difference to him.

"Doesn't that just leave us where we started?" Yahiko asked, finally managing to bring the tempura from the plate to his face, and then struggling to grip it long enough to actually eat it. Sasori snorted.

"No, it doesn't. Because, although Pein was too busy filling my arm with staples to listen, I can't be your guy anymore. Since he only paid me to go to the party, I didn't think it was that big a problem, but I pissed Deidara off, and he probably is never going to ever speak to me again, let alone go out with me again. So that's that." Sasori said with a shrug, pouring himself more soy sauce. Yahiko blinked at him.

"What did you do?" he asked. Sasori pushed his lip with his chopstick.

"Uh, not much. He's just too sensitive." He waved his hand in the air dismissively, possibly flicking soy sauce onto the lady at the next table over. He cleared his throat. Truth be told, given that he knew Deidara thought he was just playing him, running away when Deidara had tried to make out with him might have been one of the worst things he could have done. Oh well.

"But you're the only guy in school Deidara is.. or was... willing to even consider going out with, right?" Yahiko asked, wincing as he gingerly tasted a speck of wasabi. White boy.

"How should I know?" Yahiko rolled his eyes, reaching for his glass of water. He proceeded to chug the whole thing. Sasori raised an eyebrow at him.

"Hidan is Deidara's like... only friend. Pretty much. That I know of. And he said that Deidara never, ever talks about any other person. He's turned down about five other guys and more than a few girls. Yet, after just asking him, what, twice, he agreed to go to a party with you. What do you suppose that means?"

Huh. Well that was interesting. It wasn't all that surprising that Deidara got asked out a lot; in spite of his terrible personality, for some reason, having a tan in the rain capital of the country was some kind of dating beacon. Sasori just raised his eyebrows and said nothing.

"I think after the party, Konan is pretty much completely off Pein... I am not at all surprised." Yahiko scowled down at the rest of his tempura. "So all we have to worry about is how desperate Pein gets, I s'pose. And what we've got to focus on is getting you back in the game." Sasori looked at him, unimpressed.

"I thought I was the one who doesn't listen to people. I just said Deidara's not going to talk to me again, ever." Yahiko prodded his tempura with his chopsticks, looking thoughtful.

"He can't be that pissed." The bell hanging above the restaurant door dinged as someone came in.

"Believe me, he-" Sasori broke off, looking over Yahiko's shoulder. Yahiko turned around.

"-called the fat fuck a fat fuck, and then the bitch just starts handing out free coffee! Like, what the fuck is up with that doughnut cunt? Who shat on his dildo? But hey, free Starbucks, right?"

The combination of Hidan's loud voice and choice language was more than enough to silence the entire restaurant. He strolled up to the counter and leaned against it.

"Alright, man, two miso soups, uh... combo 3, combo 5... lemme see... a teriyaki don, aaaaaaaaand..." He scratched his chin. "A diet coke." He turned around and gestured towards Deidara, who was leaning against the door frame, arms folded and scowling. "Hey, what d'you want?" Deidara looked up and scanned the options board.

"Uh, just combo 1."

"Ok, all that to go, bitch." Hidan turned around and grinned as he spotted them. Sasori was in the process of slowly sinking in his seat when Hidan said, loud enough to make the whole restaurant look in their direction, "Hey! Yahiko, ya dickhead, where've you been?"

Sasori lifted his menu up to his face, but not quickly enough. Deidara glanced in their direction. And saw Sasori.

Who then casually put the menu back down, trying to look like he hadn't been trying to hide. He met Yahiko's worried gaze (while Yahiko was in some kind of affectionate choke hold, courtesy of Hidan) and raised his eyebrows. He supposed that a demonstration of Deidara's wrath would prove his point. Might as well get it over with.

He looked over to Deidara...who was no longer there. Sasori blinked and looked around. Deidara seemed to have left. Which was a huge relief. And also kind of bizarre. After all, he was really immature. Sasori had been expecting something bratty, like getting something thrown at his face. Oh well. Nothing was a lot less irritating.

By the time Yahiko had peeled Hidan off of his head and shooed him away, however, Sasori was annoyed. Was Deidara going to give him the silent treatment? Because that wouldn't work. It was the least irritating way to irritate someone, especially if the person in question didn't want to talk to the other person in the first place.
Or was he not, and Sasori was just reading too much into it? Had Deidara actually ignored him, or had he just not seen him? Or had he just not had the courage to do anything just then, and was waiting until later? Or was he so hurt that he couldn't face him?
The fact that Sasori was even thinking about any of this pissed him off more than anything. He pushed his chair back from the table and got up.

"You done?" he asked Yahiko, who looked sadly down at his abandoned tempura and shrugged.

"Yeah. Who am I kidding? To be honest, I've never eaten with chopsticks before." Yahiko said as he stood up.

"You don't say?" Sasori said sarcastically, grabbing his coat and shaking some money for the tip out of his pocket.

"But that wasn't so bad, was it? If you ask me, he's probably forgotten all about whatever it was you did." Yahiko said reassuringly as they walked out of the restaurant. Sasori scowled.

"The fact that you'd even think that just shows how little you know Deidara. That guy can hold a grudge forever. He gets obsessive. It's actually really creepy." Yahiko frowned at him, confused.

"How do you know that? Has he been mad at you before or something?" he asked, shrugging into his jacket as the wind picked up. Sasori shook his head, grinning.

"He's always mad at me. But like if you really piss him off he doesn't forget it. He'd still probably try to beat Itachi Uchiha to a pulp if he ever sees him agai-"

Something small and warm smacked into the back of Sasori's head. He stumbled forwards in surprise and turned around. Immediately another piece of prawn tempura, soaked in soy sauce, hit him on the forehead. He wiped his face and looked up. Deidara was sitting on a car in the parking lot, and was pouring something from a dark green bottle onto his take-out tray.

"Uh, I see what you mean. He does look...really angry." Yahiko said, squinting at Deidara, who did indeed look like he was seething with rage. Sasori wiped the back of his head and looked at his fingers, which were covered in soy-sauce.

"Ugh, that is so gross." He muttered, looking back up at Deidara, who seemed to be holding a piece of sushi over a lighter. Was he...

"Isn't that a bottle of lighter fluid?" Yahiko asked, pointing at Deidara.

"Are you gonna stand there and point, or are you gonna get out of the way?" Sasori asked with a grin.

Deidara began to throw. Flaming sushi pelted at them like little fire bullets. Sasori pushed Yahiko behind a truck and followed him, laughing. Now this was what he'd been expecting.

"Your aim sucks!" he yelled as a fiery kappa maki smacked onto the windshield of the car next to them.

"Okay, okay, fine. You've made your point, Deidara is seriously pissed." Yahiko said, leaning back against the truck. "What the heck did you do?" Sasori chewed his lip.

"Er... I may have embarrassed him... or something." Yahiko nodded.

"Alright, then you've just got to embarrass yourself. Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity. Do something flashy and memorable and rom-com worthy to get him to forgive you." Sasori scoffed.

"Why the hell would I do that?" Yahiko smirked at him.

"For the only thing you actually really want; Pein's money." Sasori scowled.

"This is so not going to be worth it."

hope you liked this chapter :) I'll probably update again quite soon!