I Hate you so much

alright, so here's the double upload! Anyone waiting for I Love & Provocation, don't worry, I'll get those up asap, definitely before I go back to school! Happy New Year, guys. Thanks for all the feedback :)

"Can I use the bathroom?" Sasori asked, getting up. Deidara shrugged and jerked a thumb towards the door.

"Yeah, it's down the hall."

Sasori walked out, closed the door, and quickly looked around for the bedroom of Deidara's cousin. Konan. Or whatever. He spotted a likely-looking door covered in paper cranes and flowers. Rubbing the back of his head, feeling a little uncomfortable, he knocked on the door and then opened it.

Any scene he'd expected to come across -Yahiko and Konan at first, second... even third base- fell completely short in terms of weirdness.

The first thing he registered seeing was Lego. Thousands and thousands of pieces of Lego. There seemed to be a Great Wall of China-esque construction going right around the room. The second thing Sasori saw was origami- what looked like a thousand paper cranes were hanging from the ceiling, stacked in strings or individually. It was also very dark, the only light in the room coming from the window. Sasori stood there staring around for about ten seconds before he even saw Yahiko and Konan, who were sitting against the far wall, apparently having been deep in conversation.

Yahiko seemed to realize something was up, but Konan, of course, had no idea why he was there. She seemed pretty happy to see him, though. She stood up and beamed at him, walked over and dragged him in by the sleeve.

"Deidara's pretty boyfriend! I'm so happy you came to visit." she said, pushing him down into a chair and sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him.

"Uh, well I came to-" Sasori's interjection was quickly and enthusiastically steamrollered.

"You're Sasori right? You're the one Deidara complains about right? The one in a lot of his classes? The one he said looks like a stoner but surprisingly isn't?"

"Uh, probably-" Sasori said distractedly. Konan leaned forward and patted his knees.

"I can't tell you how happy I am you're going out with him. Or just hanging out with him. Whatever you're doing. Because he gets so bored, and he comes and lies on my floor and won't move and keeps blowing up my stuff..." Konan sighed, jerking her thumb at the battered bookcase, which admittedly looked like it was a veteran of more than a few explosions.

"Uh.. okay... but-"

"Also, I'm sorry for interrupting you guys earlier! I mean, like, let your freak flag fly and everything, it's just I wasn't expecting it, because Deidara hasn't gone out with anyone for a long time... having said that, he does have people over sometimes, but it's mostly really late at night and so obviously I'm not bursting in on him then-"

"I think Sasori's trying to say something." Yahiko said, intervening at last, putting a hand gently over Konan's mouth.

"Good observation." Sasori said drily. "I don't know why, but Pein's here. Outside. Right now."

As soon as he said 'Pein' there was an immediate reaction. Yahiko's jaw clenched and he glanced at Konan, then he frowned and gave Sasori a confused look. Meanwhile, Konan's eyes widened and she shifted uncomfortably, pressing her cheek against Yahiko's arm.

"What's he doing here?" Yahiko asked, eyes narrowed. Sasori shrugged.

"Search me. All I know is he was standing outside Deidara's window staring up at us. So I..." he paused for a moment, looking at Yahiko. He had been about to say 'figured I'd better tell Yahiko to lie low', but changed his mind. After all, he wasn't sure how much Konan knew about what was going on. "I figured he was probably here to see Konan. You went to the party with him, right?" he asked.

Konan nodded, looking confused.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure why he's here." she said. Yahiko drummed his fingers on his knees.

"You said he saw you?" he asked Sasori, who nodded.

There was a moment's pause as Konan looked at Sasori, Sasori looked at Yahiko, and Yahiko looked at the window.

And then the doorbell rang.

All of them jumped, and Sasori got to his feet quickly.

"I've got to go back into Deidara's room, I don't want to talk to him-" he said.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't talk to him, why is he here, what the hell am I supposed to say-" Konan said a little hysterically, holding her head.

"Tell him you're busy. Or just tell him to eff off." Yahiko said to Konan as he clambered over the Lego walls towards the window.

"What are you doing? This is the second floor! And it's not like he's going to come up here, I'm going to get rid of him-" Konan said, whirling around and staring at Yahiko, who was pulling up the window.

Sasori backed out of Konan's room and started walking quickly back to Deidara's room, but froze when he heard angry voices coming from downstairs. Deidara's and... Pein's. He all but ran back into Konan's room.

"I didn't tell Deidara not to open the door, he went to get the door, Pein's inside." he hissed, running in to find Konan trying to pull Yahiko away from the window. They both froze.

"Maybe... Maybe Deidara will get rid of him." Konan breathed, staring at the door, frozen in indecision.

"Run down there and get rid of him yourself, he probably said he wants to see you, what if he brings him up here-" Sasori stopped as the voices got louder and footsteps sounded down the hall.

"Fuck, fuck..." he muttered, looking around wildly for somewhere to hide as Konan went from pulling Yahiko away from the window to panicking and pushing him out of it.

"...still haven't said what the fuck you're doing here." Deidara's angry voice echoed in the hall. Sasori's eyes fell on the open door of Konan's closet and he quietly shuffled towards it.

"I don't need sloppy seconds like you breathing down my neck, so fuck off." Pein replied. Sasori, who had just folded himself up at the bottom of the closet, narrowed his eyes angrily. There was a bang, and then another, as if someone had been shoved into a wall.

"Get your hands off me." Deidara spat.

"I forgot to ask," Pein said, a little breathlessly. "How much do we owe you for the table dance? I have to admit, you've still got it." Another bang. Sasori was now digging his nails into the palms of his hands.

The last thing Sasori saw before Konan pushed the closet door closed was Yahiko's hair disappearing from view as he shimmied down the drainpipe.

Sasori folded his arms over his knees, shut his eyes, and breathed in the smell of lavender detergent and some kind of flowery perfume as he tried to get comfortable, not knowing how long this would take.

"Konan, there's a piece of shit here to see you." Deidara said, still obviously very angry. Sasori heard him stomp into the room and sit down on Konan's bed.

"Can't you give us some privacy?" Pein asked, a subtle, furious note in his low voice.

"I'm not going until you leave." Deidara growled.

"What about your boyfriend?" Pein asked, in a falsely concerned voice. "Won't he feel neglected?"

"I doubt this is going to take very long, hm." Deidara replied nastily. "And he's not my boyfriend." he added as an afterthought. Sasori rolled his eyes.

There was a moment's silence, during which Sasori suspected Deidara was at the receiving end of one of Pein's specialty Edward Cullen glares.

"I haven't seen you around for a while. You're not avoiding me, are you?" Pein asked in a smiling voice.

"No! No, I wasn't avoiding you." Konan's warm voice was suddenly rather high, and Sasori remembered suddenly the weird vibes he'd gotten at the party when he'd overheard the two of them talking. He got the feeling Deidara was probably right not to leave them alone.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened at the party. I'm sorry I scared you." Pein's voice was now remorseful. "I had too much to drink, I was slammed. I'm really sorry."

"Oh. Well, it's...okay."

"Stop touching her." Deidara growled.

"...Could we talk later? Somewhere private." Pein gritted through his teeth.

Konan mumbled something incoherently, but apparently Deidara understood, because he made a vehement noise.

"Are you serious?" he burst out. There was a moment's silence. "Whatever. Do what you want." he muttered.

"I'll text you, then." Pein said in a low voice.

"Uhuh." Konan said with a stab at enthusiasm.

"Is that it then? Are you finally fucking off?" Deidara said loudly.

Sasori pressed his ear against the crack in the closet door and breathed a small sigh of relief, hearing Pein walk out of the room.

Konan opened the closet door and Sasori stood up and stretched. "What... What are you doing in there?" Deidara asked as he walked out.

"I saw him as he was coming out of the bathroom," Konan said before Sasori could speak, "And I recognized him as the pretty guy you went to that party with! So I grabbed him and brought him in here, because I wanted to talk to him-" Deidara flopped face-first onto her bed and groaned loudly.

"Please tell me you didn't."

"It's not that bad." Sasori said with a grin. "She just told me how much you complain about me-"

Deidara groaned again.

"-and about how few dates you go on-"

He groaned louder.

"-and about how sometimes people come to see you in the middle of the night..."

Deidara groaned very loudly indeed and glowered at his cousin.

"And then Pein was coming up here, and obviously if your pretty boyfriend-"

"Please just call him Sasori." Deidara said stiffly, to Sasori's great amusement.

"Fine, if Sasori were still in here... He'd have thought... well, you know how he is."

"Yes, I do." Deidara said pointedly, then got up, scowling. "Whatever. You might want to let that guy in, by the way." he said, gesturing to the window, where Yahiko had reappeared. "Come on." Deidara muttered at Sasori, who followed him out of Konan's room and back into his own.

Once inside, he turned to Sasori, frowning.

"You should go. You have homework, right?" he said. Sasori nodded.

"Yeah. Uh, thanks for having me over... and for everything else." he said with a flash of a grin. Deidara backed up and folded his arms, frowning.

"No problem." he said flatly. Sasori watched him as they walked down the stairs. The closer they got to the door, the more he was scowling.

"So... I guess I'll see you later." Sasori said, tugging on his shoes.

"Whatever." Deidara said, shrugging. Sasori sighed and leaned back against the door.

"What's up with you? You're mad I talked to your cousin?"

"No."

"Okay... Then what is it?" Sasori asked, feeling mildly irritated when Deidara merely scowled and looked away. Sasori reached forward and grabbed his hair, tugging his face down so they were eye-level.

"Tell me." Sasori insisted quietly. Deidara lowered his eyes.

"You'll laugh at me. You always do."

"That's true." Sasori admitted. "But this time, I promise not to." he said seriously. God, this was taking forever.

"...Am I actually going to see you later? Or did you just do this to prove you can?" Deidara said, pushing Sasori's hands away from him and stepping back, his face closed off.

"You... have some trust issues." Sasori said, staring at him. Deidara scowled and shrugged, looking defensive. Sasori narrowed his eyes. "Did someone say something to you about me?" he asked.

"No. Yeah. So?" Deidara said testily. "...Pein implied you'd need a really big incentive to... date me. Or whatever you're doing, hm." he said after a pause, glaring up at the ceiling. Sasori scoffed.

"You're listening to that moron? Who also happens to be your ex-boyfriend, who you hate?"

"I know... but he's right, isn't he?" Deidara muttered. "I mean... you don't like me. So, why are you... dating me? Or whatever you're-"

"I'm dating you." Sasori interrupted flatly, making Deidara look at him in surprise. Sasori sighed and opened the door, walking down the first couple steps before turning around and glaring up at Deidara, who was still staring at him. And still not wearing a shirt. How had Sasori forgotten about that?

"Yes, you piss me off, but I like you. And I'm dating you. And I'll see you later. Stop listening to dickheads who don't know anything about anything." Sasori said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Deidara glowered at him for a few seconds, his ears turning pink. Then he walked down two steps and grabbed the front of Sasori's shirt, pulled him forwards, and kissed him hard. Sasori had just begun to kiss him back when Deidara broke away and walked back up the steps.

"See you later." Deidara said brusquely before shutting the door. Sasori shook his head, grinning, and began walking down the driveway.

Yahiko

"Wait, lemme get this straight." Hidan said, already losing a fight against a wide grin. "Pein's there, Big Blue's there, Barbie's there... Sasori's hiding in a closet, and you're hanging out the window!?" He burst out laughing, tilting his chair back onto its back legs, nearly falling over.

"Well, what would you have done? If Pein had seen me, the whole thing would've been over!" Yahiko said, blowing on his coffee to cool it down.

It was several days after the window incident, and although he hadn't heard anything from Sasori or Pein since then, he was still wary.

"Is that such a shitty thing? The way I see it, you've got what you wanted, so who the fuck cares if Pein finds out about everything?" Hidan said airily, gesturing with his coffee and spilling some onto a passing student, who cried out in pain. Hidan took absolutely no notice.

"I'd be inclined to agree with you- especially since I've now met Konan's dad and he-"

"Took one look at your girly, fuckin' Care Bear outfit and decided you were too much of a pussy to take advantage of his daughter?" Hidan guessed, tipping back his steaming coffee as the student behind him rushed towards the restroom, clutching at his chest. Yahiko frowned.

"Not exactly... and I don't own any Care Bear stuff. But basically, yeah. He doesn't believe I'm actually Konan's boyfriend, which means he has no objections to her hanging out with me. So the problem would be solved, except-"

"Except nothing!" Hidan interrupted, steering Yahiko towards one of the last empty tables in the cafeteria. "You're home fuckin' free! Just tell that piece of shit you and Sasori played his balls like hacky sacks, and laugh in his fugly face. That's my advice." Hidan said, throwing himself down in a chair and swinging his feet up onto the table.

"Yeah, well, Sasori is the problem, here." Yahiko murmured, shifting his chair away from Hidan's dirty -possibly bloodstained- shoes.

"What do you mean he's the problem? I thought Pein-" Hidan interrupted, frowning in confusion.

"Okay, 'problem' is not the right word." Yahiko admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "I just mean... we have to keep this up because he actually is dating Deidara now. Which means that Deidara can't find out about any of this. Which means Pein can't find out about any of this." he explained. Hidan's frown deepened.

"...You can't keep this up forever, though. Pein's dishing out four hundred bucks a week, he's not just gonna stop trying to fuck Big Blue." he said, scratching his chin. Yahiko sighed.

The day after Pein had turned up at Konan's house, she'd met him for coffee and had told him in no uncertain terms that she didn't think it was a good idea for them to hang out anymore, as her father had become even more strict and was considering sending her to live with her aunt if she continued to disobey him. All lies, of course, since she doesn't have an aunt, but she'd seemed confident Pein had believed her. Yahiko, however, wasn't so sure.

"Yeah. I'll have to figure something out, and soon." he mumbled, scrubbing his hand through his hair. When he looked up, Hidan looked thoughtful, a rare expression on his face. Yahiko thought it looked unnatural, wrong even.

"When Konan's dad decide you were too much of a pussy to-"

"Last week." Yahiko interrupted flatly. Hidan raised his eyebrows.

"So... did you tell Sasori that it's okay and he doesn't have to fuck around with Deidara anymore?" he asked.

"Yeah..." Yahiko said slowly. Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"But he's still fucking around with him." he said, crossing his legs, almost kicking Yahiko as he did so. "I guess little Fire-Crotch actually likes him, huh? That's kind of cute." Something in his tone made Yahiko a little suspicious.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked. Hidan blinked at him.

"It's fucking obvious why it's cute, who threw you against a wall as a fucking baby?" he asked aggressively before laughing, tipping his coffee back again, swinging his legs down off the table and leaning in conspiratorially, grinning. "Just kidding, man, just kidding." He slapped Yahiko on the back with excessive force. "Alright, I'll tell you what I know."

Yahiko leaned in, feeling (as he usually did when around Hidan) that he had no idea what was going on, and also oddly like he'd just unlocked someone's Psychelock on Phoenix Wright, but with absolutely no effort.

"Alright, so I've known Deidara since he got to this school, right?" Hidan began. Yahiko nodded. "So I don't actually know anything 'cept what he told me, and he only told me when he was hammered as fuck, dude could barely stand. But anyway."

Hidan grinned. "Deidara's got a couple of exes around here, shitheads he dated in highschool, or whatever. Hasn't actually dated anyone since he started here. But he used to go to clubs, grab somebody, and fuck 'em. All the time. Some people from here, some strangers. Loads."

Hidan gulped his coffee and continued.

"He hasn't done that for a while... Whatever. Now, he gave some bullshit thing about trust issues and how his exes fucked him up, whatever, it's all bullshit, right? I was just thinking it's cute if Sasori has a crush on Deidara and wants to date him, and be all romantic and fuckin'... I dunno, going steady or whatever pussies like you and him think about. Because while it's true Deidara is one thirsty motherfucker when it comes to that short fuck, I think Sasori's trying for something that's not gonna happen." Hidan leant back, smirking.

Yahiko sipped his coffee thoughtfully. A lot of that, like most of what Hidan said, was irrelevant- he was pretty sure Sasori didn't give a damn how many people Deidara had slept with, and he was also pretty sure that Sasori was also looking for something casual- after all, if he genuinely wanted to go out with Deidara, why hadn't he asked him out before he'd gotten paid to? -but there certainly was something bothering him.

"So... what do you think Deidara -who already has trust issues- is gonna do if he finds out Sasori's getting paid to go out with him?" Yahiko asked in a low voice. Hidan laughed.

"Probably blow him the fuck up. Kill him. Fuckin' kill him. I bet you twenty bucks." he said, apparently grinning broadly at the idea of Sasori exploding.

Yahiko rubbed the back of his head.

"Damn."

Sasori

It had been a while since the day at Deidara's house, and Reading Week was fast approaching.

True to his word, Sasori had seen Deidara regularly since then; they'd hung out after class most days, had seen a movie together, had gone back to Deidara's house a handful of times, and regularly met up at the baseball field.

In addition, Deidara had shown up at Sasori's work several times. The first time had clearly been a coincidence- Deidara had done a double-take, clearly surprised to see Sasori. Since then, however, Sasori had begun to suspect he was purposefully turning up just to say hi. The second time, Deidara claimed to have forgotten he worked there. The third time, Deidara had worn dark glasses and a hoodie, apparently going incognito. The fourth time he came in with Konan and claimed she'd wanted to come. Considering Sasori worked in an artisanal woodworking studio, he found it highly unlikely Deidara just found that many reasons to come browsing.

Not that Sasori had any problem with it- in fact, although he usually hated being interrupted while he was working on something, he found he looked forward to Deidara's visits. Probably because he'd found that, in addition to liking the physical perks he was getting, he genuinely liked talking to Deidara. They kind of clicked, and their arguments didn't even leave him annoyed anymore, just comfortable and amused.

"What'cha thinking about?" Deidara asked, slinging an arm around Sasori's shoulders as they walked together through the baseball field.

"Just my grandma." Sasori replied.

"Yeah?" Deidara asked, glancing at him. Sasori smirked.

"Just imagining what she'd say if she knew I'm dating a white guy."

Deidara laughed and messed up his hair. Sasori shoved him off, grinning.

"So what would she say?" Deidara asked, walking lazily behind the dugout, running his fingers over the chain link fence. Sasori yawned and stretched, feeling the bite of the October breeze on his waist as his shirt pulled up.

"Well, first she'd ask why I can't find a nice Asian girl to marry." he said, making Deidara snort with laughter. "And then she'd ask if you were handsome."

"And what would you say?" Deidara asked, approaching and tugging Sasori's shirt down, his fingers lingering on the hem for a few seconds longer than necessary. Sasori gave him an appraising look, but ruined it by grinning.

"I'd say you were pretty okay. For a white guy." Sasori amended. "She wouldn't like you, though, even if you looked like Jared Leto." Sasori said, shrugging.

"Why not?" Deidara asked with a small frown. Sasori kicked his shin gently.

"Because you have a tattoo, you're impolite, you have long hair, you're not in economics or business or medicine, and because you'd probably blow up all of her china." Sasori replied, ticking the list off of his fingers. "But don't worry," he continued, tugging on Deidara's hair and grinning. "I like those things about you."

Deidara leant back against the chain link fence, smiling a little. Sasori stepped closer.

"Well, I guess I like most things about you." he admitted, reaching forward and tangling his fingers in the wire of the fence on either side of Deidara. He tipped his chin up, smirking.

"So? What do you like about me, then?" he asked teasingly. Deidara's ears went pink and he chewed his lip, scowling a little. "Well?" Sasori prompted.

"...There's nothing about you I don't like." Deidara said quietly.

Sasori blinked at him, feeling himself go red. Any snappy remark he could have made wilted on his tongue. He felt stupid, just staring up at Deidara, who was avoiding his gaze.

Sasori shoved Deidara's feet further away from the fence he leant against, making him slide down until they were the same height. Sasori opened his mouth to speak, but still found he had nothing to say. Deidara finally looked at him, glaring, his ears still red.

"Don't be dumb about it." he muttered and pulled Sasori to him, resting his arms over his shoulders and folding one over the other. Sasori didn't have time to say a single thing before Deidara kissed him.

Hidan

Hidan checked his phone, frowning when he saw that Yahiko hadn't texted him back. "What's his fucking deal?" he muttered before suddenly remembering Yahiko had been going on about some stupid competition he was going to over the weekend. Fucking nerd.

Hidan lit another cigarette and leaned back against the concrete wall of the Residence building as he took a long drag. Most of his friends had gone home for Reading Week, which left him with fuck-all to do most of the time. Sure, he'd gone to the bar, broken some jaws, done a couple rituals, even done some homework... but somehow he was still bored out of his fucking skull. As much as he complained about Yahiko and his crazy-as-raccoon-shit plans, at least watching it all go to shit was entertaining.

Hidan inhaled deeply and looked up at the sky, which was darkening into a deep indigo. He shivered in the cold and swore. "Cold as Jashin's nips out here, fuck.." he muttered, exhaling smoke. He pushed off of the wall and started making his way towards the field, in the direction of the bus stop. He supposed he'd just go see a movie or some shit.

"Hidan." A deep voice said suddenly. Hidan jumped, looking around. Pein stood about five feet away from him, hands in the pockets of a coat that looked like it had come straight out of fuckin' Black Butler or some shit.

"Jashin's fuckin' ballsack, man!" Hidan said, shaking his head and grinning. "You coulda scared my big fuckin' dick off!" He took another drag.

Pein looked at him impassively. Creepy motherfucker.

"What'cha want?" Hidan asked, squinting at him in the darkness.

"I know Konan doesn't have an aunt." Pein said. He sounded pissed. Hidan frowned.

"The fuck?" Pein looked even angrier, but Hidan had no fucking idea what he was talking about.

"Konan said she'd have to live with her aunt if I kept talking to her. But she lied." His voice was shaking with anger now. He took a step forward. Hidan was still completely clueless.

"What the hell does that have to do with me? I don't fucking even talk to Big Blue-" Hidan said, shrugging, but Pein talked over him.

"I also know that you hang around with that garbage, that fucking trash," he spat, "who took Konan away from the party."

"Uh, Yahiko?" Hidan said without thinking, then immediately wished he hadn't said it. Pein's eyes bulged.

"You know him, you help him!" Pein all but shrieked, pointing his finger in Hidan's face, spit flying from his mouth.

"Gross, man." Hidan said, backing up a step. The guy was fucking crazy. Really fucking crazy.

"Not only that," Pein said, taking another step forward, a long string of spit dangling from his mouth, "but I was told by some of Deidara's classmates that immediately after I hired Sasori to date him, you and Yahiko spoke to him." Again, he gestured wildly with his finger, advancing on Hidan, who was now backing up across the field. Normally he'd've shut this fucker up ages ago, fuckin' wiped the floor with him. But unless he found some way to turn this situation around, Yahiko was gonna be in a shitfest when he got back.

"Actually, it was Yahiko not me who did the talking with Sasori..." Hidan began lamely before quickly changing tack. "But what does it matter if he talked to him? They have fuckin' French class together. He was asking about homework or some shit, probably." Pein didn't pause, his insane expression now fading into one of cool fury.

"How coincidental," he said softly, "that the very person who suggested this plan... who suggested that I hire Sasori to take out Deidara so I could have Konan... then went up and spoke to Sasori, along with the piece of shit who is moving in on Konan." Hidan took a nervous drag from his cigarette. He knew that was gonna come back and bite him in the ass. He'd just assumed that when it did, Pein would've turned out to be a pushover, a fuckin' daisy. Now he wasn't so sure.

"Could it be... that you were working with Yahiko the whole goddamn time? That..." his eyes widened in sudden realization, and Hidan winced, waiting for the shit to hit the fan. "That you... you set me up from the beginning? That you got me to pay that shithead so Yahiko could get Konan? That your whole operation relied completely on my fucking money!?" He looked absolutely insane now.

Shit shit shit shit shit... Goddamn shit, this fucking sucks! I gotta take out this psycho... Jashin's asshole, this is gonna fucking suck.

Hidan took another drag from his cigarette, deciding to stall a little.

"Come on, man, you've got it all wro-"

Pein's fist collided with the side of his face.

"Shit!" Hidan exclaimed, staggering. Pein moved forward. Another punch to the face, a punch to the stomach, a kick to the knee. Hidan fell to the ground.

"What the fuck did you kick my fucking knee for? That's a pussy, little fuckin' girl move, motherfucker!" Hidan yelled at him, spitting blood out of his mouth. Truthfully though, his knee was fucked up. He wondered vaguely if it was fractured or broken or some shit. Pein just walked forward and stared down at him. Hidan wiped his mouth and kicked him in the nuts, hard as fuck. Pein dropped and Hidan scooted back, groaning- his knee really was fucked up. He couldn't very well stand up.

Pein was lower now, anyway so it was ok. Hidan grinned. Ironically, although he got in lots of fights, he wasn't actually that good at fighting. The thing he had going for him was endurance. As soon as the dickbag railing on him got tired, Hidan beat the shit out of him. It usually worked, too, unless he was already unconscious before the dude got tired.

Hidan, still on the ground, kicked Pein in the stomach, then ribs. Pein dropped lower, now straddling Hidan and groaning. Hidan scrabbled at the ground and threw dirt in his face. Pein moved just in time to avoid getting the butt of Hidan's cigarette in his eye, but he still cried out in pain as it burned the skin just below it. He scrambled to his feet, panting, and then moved forward again, kicking Hidan in the ribs over and over.

"Mother -agh- Fucking -shit- Fuck!" Hidan grabbed Pein's leg and sunk his teeth into it. Pein reached down and pulled Hidan off by his hair, kneed him in the face, then kicked him back to the ground.

"I want you to give Yahiko and Sasori a message." Pein said, panting, walking over to where Hidan lay groaning and pulling his head up by the hair again. Hidan spat blood at him. Pein wiped it away calmly.

"Tell Yahiko that if he doesn't stay the fuck out of my way... he'll end up just like you." he said, giving Hidan another vicious kick to the ribs. "Not only that..." Hidan blinked through the blood and saw Pein grinning. "But tell him that if he doesn't stay away from Konan... she'll get the same."

He dropped Hidan's head and stepped across him. He stood on Hidan's shoulders. Hidan gritted his teeth in pain as he felt his shoulders dislocate, breathing sprays of blood through his nose. Shit this guys's a psycho. Pein smirked down at him. "And as for Sasori... No threats. He's just in it for the money, as I expected. However," he said, now stepping down on Hidan's collarbone (Hidan was choking on his own blood now, and while the pain was excruciating, almost to the point of intense pleasure rather than pain, the fact that it was Pein causing it gave him no pleasure at all) with an unpleasant smile on his face, "Do tell him that I feel it's my duty as Deidara's ex-boyfriend to tell him when he's being used."

Hidan's vision, already impaired by blood, was going black as Pein finally broke his collarbone. He blinked slowly up at the dark sky, a low groan coming out of his fucked-up mouth until Pein kicked him onto his side. "Just so you don't drown in your own blood. Then who would give out my messages?" he asked. Hidan looked up at him out of the corner of his eye, blinking in surprise when Pein's face suddenly jerked sideways, as though he'd been hit suddenly.

Hidan rolled back over and watched, perplexed, as Pein gasped, rubbing the side of his head, and looked around wildly. Some huge guy, wearing all black, had suddenly appeared. He towered over Pein, who took a step back and pulled a knife out of his jacket. There was a short laugh.

Then Pein got a punch to the face. Then a punch in the stomach. Both hits were ridiculously fast, and had Hidan not seen the dark figure standing there, he'd have thought Pein just jerked back and then doubled over as if he were doing some stupid dance. The man in black didn't take a break at all, even though Pein was now crying like a baby. Next came an elbow to the head that sent Pein sprawling into the grass.

Hidan watched in amusement, despite his incredible pain, as Pein scrambled through the grass, bleeding and whimpering, crawling backwards on all fours, staring up at his assailant, who walked forwards like a robot, no hesitation, no swagger. Pein tried to get to his feet, but the guy was there, having moved so fast Hidan didn't see it at all, and gave him a roundhouse kick to the chest that threw him back about five feet. Pein lay crying, and didn't rise again.

"Nice moves." Hidan said thickly through his mouthful of blood.

"Shut up, you can barely breathe. I can't believe this pussy beat the crap out of you." Hidan grinned, recognizing the voice.

"I know, I know. Pathetic. Nice to see you, though, Kakuzu. What the fuck took you so long?"

Thanks for reading, hope you liked this chapter