Wish

My only wish and it was taken. Your happiness can't be mistaken. I'll miss your smile against mine. But if you're happy I guess I am fine.

Phil's POV

A strange thick mess of emotions had clouded over me. I had such a rush of unexplained need and want and love, and all that led to me kissing Dan. How strange it felt; how familiar for something I can't remember all of. At first I was happy, but then I was mad. I became overwhelmingly mad at myself for putting Dan through all of this. I was also angry with myself for not remembering my family, friends, childhood, and everything else. It made me even sadder.

I had begun to yell at myself. What had I thought this would achieve? Dan had gone into the kitchen to get us something to eat moments before, but when he returned, I was once more a despicable and pathetic ball of emotions.

"I'll call your doctor," Dan said whilst he tried to soothe me once again.

"No. Dan no," I begged. What would the doctor do except tell me I would get better and maybe put me on some hallucination-prevention-and-calmer-with-a-thousand-side-effects-medicine.

"Phil, Phil something is wrong. You never have been like this." I heard the worry splintering through his voice. There was something wrong. Me. How couldn't he see that it was me who was wrong?

"Don't you get it?" I asked him. "I have hurt you in so many ways. Dan, you have done nothing but care for me ever since the accident, and all I've done is hurt you. I can't remember the day we met. I can't remember our first date. I can't even remember my own birthday! It's like I'm a little kid. You are just feeling obligated to stay with me because I am vulnerable." I mentally slapped myself for feeling so bad for myself.

Dan's POV

I didn't know what to say. How could he think I felt like that? Didn't he know how in love with him I was? He was sat at the foot of his bed in front of me with his legs dangling over the edge. His face was sad and regretful.

I didn't say anything. I walked forward until I was right in front of him. I straddled his knees with my own, and knelt on the bed. I held his beautiful face in my hands and kissed him before he could even comprehend what was happening. I pulled back for just a moment and whispered right in his ear. "I can't believe you can't see how crazy I am for you. Phil, whether you like it or not, I am going to love you. I can deal with you not loving me too, despite the burning pain it could cause to me, but I cannot deal with you thinking I don't. I cannot fathom the idea of a day when we will have to be parted." All the emotions I had felt for so long and had forced myself to keep bottled up inside escaped me in a single shimmering tear down my cheek. I closed my eyes, still in the position where I held him. His silence scared me, but I found a peace in it.

There had been a day that we both had laughed and been slightly disturbed by the thought of us as a couple. One night changed that. Now I find myself a mess because I love him so much.

You know when you were little and you had a favorite toy? That toy was your world; your everything. You couldn't go anywhere without it. You loved it more than anything in the world at times, and the thought of losing it made you want to vomit. Phil is like this to me. He is more important to me than anything else in the entire world. The thought of losing him made me feel sick and actually caused me physical pain. Needless to say, I had fallen harder for him than I had fallen the night of that YouNow show.

His warm and gentle embrace slowly formed around me. I still did not open my eyes. I felt his head move along-side my own. I still did not open my eyes. I felt his lips touch my ear, and his breath blow softly against the lobe. I still did not open my eyes.

"Don't cry," I almost opened my eyes.

"I-" I couldn't finish my sentence.

He softly and briskly pulled me down so we were both lying on the bed. Our arms were around each other and we both remained completely silent. Both of us were so distraught for different reasons. We just held each other, finding comfort only in the arms of each other. For once, it was just nice and relaxed. When we finally talked, we talked not about that, but rather about things we might do in the future, and even about beginning to make videos again. That intrigued him, and caused him to become slightly excited at the thought of making videos like he had seen before.

I wouldn't expect him too quite yet, but I knew I needed to tell people some things. We owed it to them.

"Hey internet," I said blankly. "So there has been a lot of weird stuff happening. You guys have not heard from Phil or me for a long time. Basically we were going out one night, and on our way home, a car came and slammed into our cab. I managed to get away fairly undamaged, but Phil—Phil didn't." I paused for a while. Phil was sitting on the other side of the room, hands folded in his lap, eyes focused of the back of the camera. "You see, he was unconscious for quite some time, and when he finally woke up… He had amnesia. He couldn't remember anything." I bit back the creak that began to form in my voice. "Um… yeah, his memory is still not really back. He remembers the occasional things, but um, he has seen a lot videos and that's kind of his memory right now." I breathed and looked up at the big blue eyes across the room. "Want to say hey, Phil?"

He kind of awkwardly slid off his chair and into a standing position. He nervously stepped forward and sat down next to me. His bright eyes looked up into the camera lens. "Hi everyone," he said shakily.

I placed a hand on his knee and smiled. "We're going to make it through this. We just needed to let you guys know, and hopefully we'll be making videos more regularly again, right Phil?"

"Y...Yeah, so um thank you guys for all the support you've been sending, and… Sorry about this… Bye!" He finished with a weak smile, and I turned off the camera.

"You need to stop apologizing," I laughed, and brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"My birthday is January 30th, isn't it?" He asked randomly.

"Yeah, it is," I smiled.

"Yours is June 11th." I nodded. "Well good. Let's go out tonight and get some Chinese, yeah?"

"Sure," I said.

"Oh, and Dan, wear the jacket of yours I like, okay?" He smiled at me, the tip of his tongue forcing its way between two white teeth.

"Okay." I responded before standing up with a grin.

Chapter that I am not certain whether I like or not… Tell me how it compares to the others, and if you liked it. Hopefully I will update again soon, love you all! Byee! ~Lexi~