Can I Keep My Secret?

I have always been good at keeping secrets for people… But I don't know about my own.

Dan's POV

The air was growing frigid as we walked down the streets. Side by side we progressed. My fingers grazed Phil's slightly, but I didn't dare act like I noticed. We'd kissed once again, but I also didn't dare read anything into it. It was proof that we loved each other, and that was what I needed.

Having agreed on Chinese, the two of us proceeded toward the nearest restaurant that served it. We were hungry, and knew exactly what to order once we arrived. We ate, and talked, and tweeted, and we were completely satisfied with our night out.

"Your friends are closer than you think," I read out from my fortune cookie, laughing at the slight creepiness in the tone.

"Something you lost will be found again," Phil said. How strange and ironic. The cookies are simply mass-produced slips of paper with preprinted fortunes, yet somehow this one so eerily reminded us of the situation Phil was in. It caused us to be silent for a minute, as goose bumps formed on our arms and shoulders, we both suddenly broke into silent laughter.

We left the building, and the iciness of the rapidly cooling air seemed to curl around our bodies and our faces like actual fingers and hands. It was shocking, but almost as if on cue, we simultaneously popped up our coat collars so as to serve as a barrier between the wind and our faces and necks. Phil's glasses began to fog up, so he pulled them off and wiped them clear. His face was determined and purposeful as he did so, and the edge of his tongue rested ever so lightly on his bottom set of teeth as he concentrated.

We went for a short detour, thoroughly enjoying the time we were spending together on our evening. We passed a giant water fixture, which Phil begged me to give him a pound coin to toss in. Apparently it's told to grant a wish.

"I'm wishing for everything to go back to how you remember," Phil whispered, leaning an elbow on my shoulder.

"That's a good wish, if you want it," I commented. I think we both knew the coin being tossed into the water would not do anything, but if he wanted to try it, he could.

"Yeah," he said with a smile before closing his eyes for a second and tossing the coin far to the other side of the base.

We made an occasional stop to a shop or a bakery here and there before beginning our trek home. We had decided to walk all night to get some exercise; a thing we rarely do.

"You know," I said with a bit of a chuckle. "This is kind of nice. I get to be with you, make you happy, be happy, and you don't remember anything bad. You don't remember anything stupid I've done. You don't remember the accident, and honestly, I hope you never do. I hope you never have to witness that memory."

"Well I guess there is an upside to everything, isn't there," Phil responded with a tiny smile. He bumped my arm with his elbow lightly.

Everything was going very nicely, until there was an uneven patch in the pavement. Phil, who was looking off at someone who was holding a baby, found himself being thrown off track. He fell backwards onto the ground, hitting his head on the way down.

Phil's POV

It's too late to stop myself as I fall to the ground with a thud. I see black for only a second, and when it clears, Dan is starting to kneel down beside me. I see the same worried, chocolaty brown eyes that looked at me when I woke up in the hospital. I want to admire these eyes for so long, but I am incredibly distracted as pictures, flashback, and memories begin to flow through me. I can remember it all. I can think of our kisses, I can think of our first date, and I can even remember the horrible accident. With the good must come the bad, I suppose.

Dan had just told me, as we were walking, that he was beginning to enjoy this. He didn't really want me to remember everything. He liked the idea of a fresh and clean slate. I intended to let him have that. I was going to act as though nothing had happened, for Dan's sake. I could keep other people's secrets. I could definitely keep my own.

"Phil? Phil, are you alright?" Dan asked, nervously stroking my cheek.

I blinked for a second. "Yeah, I'm fine. I… yeah I'm good." I stuttered after deciding to keep this to myself for a while.

He helped me up and looked at me, still worried. I felt a twist in my stomach; an ache to admit the truth to him. I attempted to offer a small smile, but randomly a tear decided to stream its way down my cheek. I didn't quite understand it. Dan turned his head to the side slightly, opened his mouth for a second and then closed it again. He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug without saying anything. His arms curled around my waist, and my arms wrapped around his neck.

We stood like that for a while; embraced in the middle of the city. The two of us disregarded the strange looks we got from passersby. We separated, and, though the occasional tear made way down my face, I felt much better.

I grabbed Dan's hand, and it took him by surprise. He smiled though, as did I. It was time for us to go home. He was so happy looking. I was going to keep him like that. I'm not going to let him stress over my being normal again. We walked home, closely side by side.

I had another secret. I was dying to kiss him.

XXXXX

We arrived back at our flat, and Dan tossed his keys onto a table. He turned around, probably to say something to me, but I was right there. I grabbed him by collar of his jacket and pulled him down to me. I enclosed my lips around his, and kissed him. Once again, he was caught off guard, but in no time he was kissing me back; his grasp also on my jacket collar.

He was slow at first, as though seeing how far I wanted to go, but soon he grew more and more desperate. His kiss became strong and he was soon pushing himself on me hungrily. I smiled. He moved around a bit with the kiss. Dan began to pull me toward the couch. He pulled me apart from him for a second. Dan looked at me, and I reached for him once again, but he stopped me.

A smile crossed his face, and he pushed me down onto the couch. He knelt on top of me, and kissed me. I could remember it all, you see, everything that had ever happened, that was why it felt so good. I could also remember not being able to remember. I can recall the sadness and longing. Dan kissed my neck, and my lips. He then lay down next to me on the couch.

It was cramped with the two of us laying there, side by side on a seat that was built for one. I rested my head against his. I was happy.

"Oh Phil," Dan whispered. "I do wish you could remember the humorously awkwardness of the moment when we fell in love." He poked my nose cutely.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes for a moment with utter guilt. I didn't know whether I had decided to do the right thing or not.

Another chapter complete and I don't know how I feel about this one either. Please let me know, because I love when you all review! Hopefully an update will float your way again soon! Haha bye for now. ~Lexi~