Won't You Stay With Me?

Because you're all I need.

We didn't really sleep that night. I sat there, cradling who I believed to be a now mentally ill version of my boyfriend. He seemed to cling to me as a bug does to a leaf; holding on for its life, in hopes to not be swept away by the wind. At one point, he seemed to gain control over himself again. He sat up, and we talked for a bit. We even played some video games, but within a few hours, he collapsed onto me in an agonizing cry.

The sun had come up three hours ago, and we were sitting there, talking. We talked about such nonsense things. What would the next MCR album be if they were still together? Would you rather play golf all year nonstop or eat nothing but orange peels? I basically wanted to talk about anything that would keep him from crying.

"So Phil today is the day that the doctor wanted me to bring you in for a checkup!" I tried to be cheery.

"Let's reschedule?" he begged. "I don't remember that anyways."

"No, no, it'll be fun."

He groaned loudly.

XXXXX

Two hours later we were sitting in the hospital waiting room. I had spoken with a nurse as to why we were here on the phone while Phil showered. We waited for the doctor to free up. Phil still thought it was a checkup.

"Ah Misters Dan and Phil Howell?" The doctor said, waltzing out into the room.

"Dan Howell and Phil Lester," I chuckled.

"My apologies," he said without skipping a beat. "Phil, we're going to be giving you an MRI today."

"Okay," he said skeptically. "I don't understand though, I have my memory back."

"Regular procedure, Mr. Lester, I do apologize." He gave a smile and a quick wink.

"It's okay Phil," I whispered to him, patting his knee. "It'll be a quick MRI scan and they can make sure you're all good."

"If you'll just come with me, sir."

"C-can Dan come too?" Phil stuttered.

"He can come into the viewing area, not the scan room."

Phil mouthed a 'please' to me, so I followed. He was visibly shaking. I knew he hated these things.

"Alright, lay down here, and Dan and I will go in that room right there," the doctor said.

Phil grabbed my hand and held onto it tightly. "Phil, I'll be right in there," I said pointing at the room.

"No, don't make me do this, please. Please."

I gave him a strong smile, rubbed my thumb over his knuckles, and pecked his lips. "You'll be fine."

XXXXX

The scan was complete, and we were waiting for results. They had put us in a private room by ourselves to wait so we could talk.

Talking didn't really come, as Phil's empty look began again. He looked through the wall as though it weren't there. His eyes reflected the light of the room.

"Phil," I whispered. I grabbed his chin and turned him towards me. I kissed him, which seemed to bring him out of the trance. "Hey, I love you."

"Love you too," he said, smiling.

Our intertwined hands bumped against the metal arms of the chairs to a beat. We waited in painful anticipation for the doctor to come back.

There was a short, blunt knock at the door. The doctor opened the door, walked in, and sat down in a chair.

"Hello again," he said.

We both said hi, and shook his hand once again.

"So, your results for the scan are in."

"Well?"

"Well, your scans showed one issue. There is slight damage to a section of your brain. It could very well be affecting you, and that is most likely why Mr. Howell brought you in today." The doctor frowned.

Both of us had our eyes wide. "Wh-what does that mean for Phil?" I croaked out.

"Well, there is going to be some trouble, you see the part of his brain affected may cause troubles to his actions, his thought process, and his emotions. He is going to have some difficulty."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Mr. Howell, there is a procedure that could fix this problem one hundred percent."

"Great! Let's do it! Right Phil?" I nudged the still dazed body beside me.
"However, this is very expensive, and the odds of it working are not perfect. There is a fatality possibility."

My face dropped like Phil's as well. The doctor had a professional look on his face, but his knuckles we white as he clenched the clipboard.

"I'll leave you two alone to discuss what your plan is," he stated simply.

We sat in silence for a long time. We were staring at each other. No words seemed fathomable. What were we supposed to discuss anyway?

"Well, what should I do?"

"Phil, I don't know what to say. I knew something was wrong, but I figured some medicine would fix you up. I can't risk you. But you are only going to get worse like this."

"It's okay, I'll be okay."

"Phil we can pay for the surgery."

"Dan, no."

"There is such a high risk, but at least you won't get worse." I was actually trying to reason with myself, not him. "I don't want to lose you, Phil."

XXXXX

Well, after much dispute and a lot of crying, we decided to go ahead with the procedure. Phil and I were in waiting at the wing of the hospital in which it was happening. His head was lying in my lap as he was stretched out on a bench. I rubbed circles in his dark hair, and silently prayed.

His eyes were closed, his mouth fixed in a line, and his chest rising and falling in an uneasy pattern.

"Philip Lester?" A woman called, walking into the room.

Phil's eyes opened and he looked at me.

"That's us," I said.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Amelia Collins. I will be in charge of your surgery. You must be Dan," She looked at me at the last part. I nodded.

Phil stuck his hand out and she shook it, sitting up. He attempted to smooth his tousled hair, and fixed his shirt.

"We are ready for you, so as soon as you are prepared, I'll take you in there." She smiled an attempt-at-comforting-smile, and stood up. She didn't leave, rather struck up conversation with a nurse.

I looked at Phil, who in return, looked at me with a look of dread and pure horror. His usually bright eyes seemed to sparkle more, but it appeared as though this was because of the tears that seemed to prick earnestly at his eyes, seeking release. He did not look calm, he did not look confident, he looked terrified, and, I suppose, rightfully so.

"Phil, you are going to be just fine." I pulled him to me in a hug. "You will be okay, you know that, right?"

"Dan, what if I die?"

"You won't die."

"Dan, I am terrified," he whispered. It was a whisper, but its sound rang in my ears for an eternity. I knew he was terrified. I was terrified. I needed to stay strong and calm for his sake, though.

"It'll be okay, I'll be there when you wake up." I smiled at him.

A single tear traversed down his pale cheek. He kissed me, and I wrapped an arm around him. I knew the small possibility that this could be the last time we kissed. I wanted to make it count.

"I love you," I said, running my thumb along his jaw line once we parted, and rubbing his shoulders to make him less shaky.

"I love you too," he said. "So much."

"You can do this, Philip. You can do this for me, for you, for our fans, for everyone. Do this as proof that you beat down all the people who were mean to you. You can make it through this silly little surgery like a pro. Do it because I love you." I felt tears nearly spilling over bridge that was the edge of my eyelid. "You are strong, and brave, and beautiful."

He was in tears as we parted. The doctor came and whisked him off to some room down the hall. I was left speechless, standing in the same place for almost an hour before a nurse came and made me sit down.

Phil's Surgeon's POV

The surgery had been going fairly well so far. We were fixing the damaged section of his brain. We didn't have to open him up completely, just a small area. This made it easier, as we could have him lying horizontally.

I hadn't admitted it outside, but I knew these two boys. I was a huge fan of their YouTube channels. Talk about added pressure… I was going to go check the charts, see what else was needed before we sewed him back up.

"Hmmm." I said curiously as his heart monitor began to go a little irregular.

BEEP

BEEP

BEEEP

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Flat line.

End of another chapter for which most of you have probably already shined your guns to shoot me with. Please don't shoot me. I love you all. I'll see you all next chapter 3 ~Lexi~