One Piece One Shots: Title Art Chapter 526
Summary: Usopp finds a picture in the newspaper and doesn't believe it.
Author's Note: This is done by request for becket, who chose a chapter I would have left alone for awhile because I wasn't sure what to do with it. But hey, I'm always up for a challenge and I do like the color spread.
The World as We See It
"This can't be right. There is absolutely no way this can be right." Usopp reread the article for the millionth time and studied the winning painting with a magnifying glass. He couldn't believe it. There was absolutely no way this could possibly be real. He had submitted his own artwork to this contest and while he shouldn't have been surprised about not winning, the portrait that won had to be an outright lie. He was ready to pull his hair out in frustration. It was impossible for a picture this outrageous to be real!
"Hey, Usopp, what are you reading?" Chopper interrupted Usopp's billionth time rereading and studying the picture. The liar even stopped muttering to look down at the blue nosed reindeer with such an intense gaze that Chopper took a step back in surprise.
The sniper folded the newspaper so the brilliantly colored picture was displayed so Chopper could see. "Does this look real to you?" he asked pointing directly at the winning artwork.
"Uh… yes? It looks real…" Chopper answered with uncertainty.
Usopp only frowned at the answer, obviously not what he was looking for. Trying again, "No. Does it look like it's been drawn off of a real event?"
"I don't know. Maybe?"
"It's impossible! There is no way anyone could look like that!"
"We have seen some strange things, so maybe." Chopper tried to reason with the distraught liar. "You could always go ask them," referencing the occupants of the painting. Even with the strange proportions and unusual styles it was clear who the focus of the painting was.
"That's not the point! This contest was supposed to be Pirates in Action. Drawn from real life events. This doesn't even look realistic!" Usopp slapped the paper in emphasis. Suddenly he caught sight of a newcomer on deck. "Vivi! You're a princess. You know about fine art." The sharpshooter rushed from his perch on the railing to the young woman, newspaper in hand.
The long brilliant blue hair fluttered in the wind as the girl in question turned to regard Usopp with trepidation. Vivi didn't quite see how being a princess linked her to knowing anything about artwork. "I suppose…" She didn't get a chance to finish when the newspaper was shoved in her face too close to see anything but a blur of reds and blues, golds and greens.
"What do you think of that?" The ship's very own liar demanded.
"It is very well done," Vivi said carefully, pulling the paper away from her face to see it better. "It doesn't look like your work though, Usopp. Why are you asking for my opinion?"
"Do you think it should have won for the realism category?"
"I'm not sure. It is very striking and colorful. I'm sure the judges had a reason for choosing this piece over the others," Vivi found a very diplomatic answer which frustrated Usopp beyond belief.
"Usopp, are you bothering Princess Vivi?" Sanji glared over a tray of fruity drinks, causing said sniper to shrink in fear.
The princess only smiled and turned her attention to the blonde cook. "Not at all, Sanji. He was just showing me the most interesting picture in the paper." She presented the picture in question to the chef and immediately giggled at the young man's reaction. She might not have any interest in the young man, but he was always entertaining and sweet.
"Is that Nami-swan in a kimono!" he gushed in positive delight. "She is so ravishing in the cobalt blue folds of luxurious cloth. Her hair is a brilliant splash of orange tying in perfectly with the mikan gracing the delicate figure." Sanji was all gooey-eyed and love-struck as he fawned over the image. The sudden change in demeanor took everyone by surprise. He was no longer suave and sophisticated. Instead he took on a gruff appearance and shouted over the distance to the swordsman. "Oi, Marimo. You look like an shitty old geezer." Sure enough the image of Zoro had an angular face, pinched in annoyance. All three swords were present and he was drinking a cup of rice wine.
A green haired swordsman looked up from curling iron weights. He never stopped though. "Did you say something, crap cook?"
"This artist sure captured your inner personality, moss-head. Right down to the same disgruntled look you're wearing. And you're ruining what was a lovely portrait of Nami-swan." After that statement from Sanji, Zoro's face only grew darker as if waiting for a fight to break out.
"What's this all about?" Nami's empirical voice resounded from the upper deck as she stepped out of the small mikan grove. "We don't need you two starting anything while onboard the ship. You cause enough damage on land."
Vivi answered before any of the boys could make matters worse. "Usopp was just showing us a picture of you, Zoro and Luffy. It seems rather fantastical." There was a moment's pause as the princess eyed the deck. "Speaking of him, where is Luffy?" She wanted to bring him into the conversation as well. He should be able to help settle the issue of the pictures authenticity.
The grunted answer came from Zoro, "Sleeping." He jerked his head towards the ram figurehead where the captain was dozing in the sun. While no one was paying attention to him, the swordsman had approached to get a better look at the picture in question. Usopp however had the newspaper in hand and was marching up to Nami before he could study it in detail.
"I demand an explanation," the sharpshooter announced, thrusting the paper at Nami.
The navigator merely glanced at it as if she had seen it many times before. "Oh, that's just when we were at an island in East Blue. Right before we met you actually."
"You're lying," Usopp deadpanned in disbelief.
"We'll take you there when we get back to East Blue. You might even be able to meet the artist who did this." Nami offered. "You're not mad because we went somewhere before we met you, are you?"
"No… no! It's not that! It's that this picture doesn't look realistic at all." Usopp defended himself as best he could. "For one thing the landscape has no dimensions. Waves are crashing into nothing. The flowers are bunched in odd arrangements in comparison to the ground. Zoro looks like an old man. Luffy even has muscles! We all know he doesn't have muscles like that. You're probably the most normal looking one in this picture."
"Muscles? Who says I don't have muscles?" Luffy was awake, somehow knowing he was missing something incredibly entertaining. He was bounding over to them with interest. The moment he saw the picture he grinned. "Oooo! I remember this. We need to go back and play with Mizuumi and Genseki. They were fun!" That statement right there announced the truth of the picture for all who had not been there.
Usopp stared in surprise. "They have names!" No one had to ask who the names referred to. The giant tiger and dragon the picture Luffy was holding at bay were the only possibilities. With one arm stretched around the dragon's head and gripping his whisker and one foot stamping on the tiger's head and his other arm gripping a sword, Luffy looked more like he was about to fight the two monsters rather than play with them. "This is impossible!" The liar refused to accept this as the truth. He knew there had to be a reasonable explanation. Having a piece of artwork win for realism that looked more surreal than anything else was just outrageous.
"I don't know. It looked pretty accurate to me," Zoro called up to them.
"You're lying!" Usopp tried to find a solid defense against this absurd picture being taken from real life. "Vivi said it herself, these images are fantastical! Just comparing this picture to the three of you is clear that this is an artist's interpretation not an actual rendering."
"But that's how it looked, Usopp." Luffy stated a fact. He was not sure how his friend could understand.
"It's just in how you look at the world. This was how the artist saw us," Nami clarified. "You can believe it or not, but he came from the Grand Line with these really weird glasses. We tried them on just to see. And the whole world looked a lot like this. He said he preferred the world this way. It was more interesting for him."
"Glasses?" Usopp was stunned. Was the contest really going to accept the view from a pair of strange goggles?
"Yeah," Luffy pitched in. "They were kind of oddly shaped, like half balls. When you put them on the whole world kind of flattened."
Nami nodded, "He said there was other kinds of filters. He preferred these. But everything else in the picture was real. I know you're upset about not winning, but this is very true."
"I'm not upset! I just think that what's drawn under the title of real life should reflect how the majority of the world sees it. These goggles or whatever are cheating!" Usopp complained loudly, loosing the paper in the process.
"Everything else was true?" Sanji asked, peering at Nami with love-struck eyes. "Even the kimonos?"
"Yes, everything. The kimonos, the giant animals, and the gardens. But when you put on those goggles, you see the world differently. It was like looking at a living painting. I can see how the man preferred it." Nami explained patiently though her patience was wearing thin as she could see Usopp was still trying to find excuses.
From below Zoro was studying the lost paper. "Straw Hats at Play. Not a bad title. Though this is what Usopp is upset about. 'A submission from Syrup Village in East Blue could not be verified as the artist could not be reached. Without verification of his connection to the pirates in his portrait, the submission had to be withdrawn.' Tough luck, Usopp. They even invited you to submit something next time." Everyone started to laugh at the sight of Usopp trying to rip the paper from Zoro's hands, denying that was the reason he questioned the authenticity of the winner. The paper eventually slipped off into the wind as the crew argued over the truth of that strange encounter with the man and his bug-eyed goggles.