The fifth year boy's dorm room was quiet. Everyone had been asleep for hours, well . . . almost everyone. Remus Lupin was unable to sleep. He had been lying awake, staring at the ceiling when he suddenly knew he had to go down to the common room. Remus slowly descended the stairs from the dormitory, pausing when he heard someone crying. He moved quietly searching the room until he found a familiar shape laying on one of the sofas. "Oh, Annicka," he sighed and knelt beside her.

Annicka turned her face toward him, "What are you doing awake?" she asked with a frown.

"I couldn't sleep," Remus answered, "Ann, why are you down here?"

"I didn't want to wake up any of the girls," she replied wiping her eyes.

"How many nights have you spent down here?"

"I have no idea," Annicka groaned a little as she sat up. Remus sat next to her with an arm around her shoulder. "Every night," she confessed.

"Why haven't you said anything?" Remus asked with concern.

"I don't want to be more of a burden. I know everyone is worried about me, they don't know what to say around me. I can't help being sad. I do better around people, it's – easier to distract myself, but at night . . ."

"You're alone," Remus concluded. "Ann what can I do to help?"

"The worst part of it all is that I keep thinking about them," Annicka replied. "All I could think about today was the first time my dad came home with injuries from work and taught me how to heal his wounds."

"The first time?" Remus prompted.

"I was five, I think, he sat me down on his lap and showed me what to use. He had some claw marks down his arm. A couple potions and a bandage later and he told me I would make a great healer someday. It was less than a year later that he took me to Azkaban to see a werewolf transformation, and I decided I wanted to find a way to help."

"You never said you went to Azkaban," Remus stated shocked.

"Yeah, because my dad didn't want people to know, everyone who knew thought he was crazy for taking a 6 year old to a prison to see a werewolf transform on a full moon night," she shifted resting her head on his shoulder.

"What did your mum think?" Remus asked, not bothering to say he agreed.

"She thought he was crazy too, especially when he taught me to use magical healing techniques. My mum didn't trust magic. She thought it was unnatural and dangerous. She was always worried that I would hurt myself here. That's why she insisted on weekly letters." Annicka fell silent they sat there with her head on his shoulder just thinking.

"Do you feel better now?" Remus eventually asked.

"Actually . . . I do," Annicka sighed. "I might even be able to sleep now."

"Then you should go get some sleep," he nodded toward the girl's dormitory.

"Good night Remus, and thank you for listening," Annicka quickly kissed him on the cheek and went back to her room. Remus stayed in the common room for a few minutes before coming to his senses and going to bed himself.

18 November, 1975

I feel better today, I really do. I think it might be because Remus has been such a wonderful listener. The past few nights he's been sitting up with me while I tell him stories about my family. I still miss them, and it still hurts all the time, it's just a little easier to live with now. I hope I can sleep tomorrow, it's the full moon.

Annicka Llewellyn

1 December, 1975

Today was a bad day for me. Good days and bad days, most people have them. Only now when I have a bad day it's crippling, it's painful to get out of bed. Pretending nothing is wrong while inside I feel like I'm drowning, or screaming and no one can hear me. My friends are always trying to help, but some days nothing does. Remus has helped the most, and in an odd way so has Black. I know hat sounds strange, and believe me, it feels strange, but it's true. Black treats me the same as always, maybe a little nicer, but he still teases me and pulls pranks on me. I find that comforting, like things might be normal again some day. I really hope that's true.

Annicka Llewellyn

"Ann, I know it can't be easy for you with Christmas coming up, "Jeremy stated as they sat together in the library, "If you need somewhere to go –"

"Thank you," she interrupted with a sigh and a soft smile. "I think I'm going to stay here at school, I just don't believe that I would do very well around a family." Jeremy gave her an understanding smile, they kissed sweet and slow. They stayed for a moment foreheads touching, Annicka smiled and they went back to their work.

18 December, 1975

Everyone I know on friendly terms has invited me to go home with them for the holiday, or offered to stay with me here. I've told them all the same thing that they should be with their families. They keep asking.

Annicka Llewellyn

20 December, 1975

Lily, Jeremy, Remus, Mary, Alice, Potter, Black and Margo all stayed, each of them told their families that they couldn't let me stay here alone. My heart is so full of gratitude it's breaking. I don't know what I did to deserve friends like this, but I'm glad they're mine.

Annicka Llewellyn

25 December, 1975

Merry Christmas mum and dad, I love you. I miss you.

Annicka Llewellyn

It was a cold dark night at the end of January, the night before the full moon, Remus was in the Hospital Wing, and Lily was sitting up with Annicka. "How long are you going to keep dating Jeremy?" Lily suddenly asked in a lull in the conversation.

"What do you mean?" Annicka asked snapping from her reverie.

"I've been watching the two of you the last few months, since you lost your parents and you're different with him," Lily explained. "I don't think you care about him the same way, anymore."

"Lily everything has been different since my parents died," Annicka argued, she was finally able to speak of her family without the overwhelming need to cry.

"I know, and I understand that you've been depressed since then – and that's okay! But is it really fair to string Jeremy along when you care about someone else?" Lily asked.

Annicka shook her head, "Okay, you lost me gain, what do you mean 'when you care about someone else?' Who do you think I have feelings for?" she asked confused.

"Remus," Lily replied bluntly.

"What are you talking about? Remus is my best friend," Ann objected.

"Oh, come on! The two of you are practically attached at the hip!" Lily threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "Remus has been the only one you've been able to talk to, the only one who has been able to get a real smile out of you. The only one who's been able to make you happy. Do you really think that's because he's your friend?"

Annicka sat in a shocked silence for a few moments before answering. "Lily . . . you're wrong about Remus and I, we're just friends, but – I think you're right about Jeremy. I'm not being fair to him."

3 February. 1976

I broke up with Jeremy today. It was so hard not just to stay with him, he was so sweet and he just kept asking if there was anything he could do to make me stay. I wanted to lie and say that I could stay with him forever, but I didn't, I told him the truth. He deserves better than a girl who is with him because she's lonely, not because she cares about hi. I feel terrible for doing this to him, and if I'd done it sooner maybe it wouldn't have been so hard. I need to lie down.

Annicka Llewellyn

20 February, 1976

Okay this is going to sound strange, and it sounds strange to me, but I have to say it. I think I love Remus. Almost a month ago Lily and I talked about how I feel about Jeremy and Remus and something she said stuck with me. I've been thinking about everything that has happened and everything Remus means to me, and I think I love him. I am not, however, going to tell anyone. Lily would insist on talking about it, Mary or Margo would probably end up telling Remus about it. Alice would probably just listen, but she's so empathetic it might cause her too much anxiety. Frank Longbottom has finally started to demonstrate his interest and I do not want to mess that up by having her worry about me.

I am also not going to tell Remus, at least, not right away. I want to wait for him to make a move, if I give him enough hints, maybe he will. . . . Life is complicated.

Annicka Llewellyn

5 May, 1976

Sorry it's been so long, but I really have been so busy getting read for exams that I simply didn't have time to write. I'm in a lull right now. Nothing has happened with Remus, and I'm beginning to think that I was being completely ridiculous. Remus is and has always been my friend. I don't know what I was thinking. My biggest problem now is figuring out where I am going to live during the summer. Just like at Christmas everyone I know is offering me a place to live, even James Potter has offered his house. The only one who hasn't offered yet is Remus, which is just a little strange, though he has been really quiet lately. He gets like this when he has something big he wants to say.

Annicka Llewellyn

"Ann, can I talk to you?" Remus asked suddenly, one night while they were studying.

"Of course Remus," she replied setting down her quill.

"Have you decided where you are going to stay for the holiday?" she could tell by his tone that he was nervous about her reply, and what he would say in return.

"Remus, I tell you everything, if I had found a place you would know," Annicka assured him.

"In that case," he paused, took a deep breath, and continued. "Come live with me. We have a guest house. It wouldn't be all that different from living here. It's completely separate. It has a kitchen and everything. You would only have to come to the house if you wanted to –"

"Remus, breathe!" Annicka interrupted. "The only question I have is – are your parents okay with this?"

"It was their idea," Remus confessed. "I didn't want to make you feel like you had to."

"Remus, what are you talking about?" she asked confused. "How would you offering me a place to live pressure me?"

"I don't know," he replied with a bemused smile. They both laughed for a moment when his reply had sunken in.

"Thank you Remus," Annicka finally said when they had calmed down. "I would love to live in your guest house. I just have one condition," she added hesitantly.

"Okay," Remus said, waiting for the condition.

"Don't tell anyone," she pleaded.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"Remus there are a lot of things that become complicated because we're a boy and a girl who are best friends, and this is one of them. Also because your friends will never stop ridiculing us," she added.

"You have a fair point," Remus conceded. I'll write to my parents today and get everything arranged." With everything finally agreed on they went back to studying.