"Is this seat taken?" a male voice asked. Annicka looked up, startled, and saw Regulus Black with his hand on the back of the chair across from her waiting for an answer.
"No," she replied, "go ahead." Regulus sat down and pulling out his own books began studying. Annicka quickly glanced around the library to see if anyone had noticed the exchange. Everyone was too busy studying to care, so she turned back to her books. Some time later Annicka left the table to get another book, and when she came back there was a group of Slytherins by the door. With three quick steps she was standing behind Regulus, leaning over his shoulder she whispered, "Your friends just walked in, keep looking forward." A minute later she glanced over her shoulder, then straightened and went back to her seat.
Regulus looked over his shoulder, "Thank you," he said when he saw the coast was clear.
"I don't want your friends to see us together any more than you do," Annicka commented dryly.
"Is that who you're hiding from, my friends?" Regulus asked. Annicka laughed and shook her head, "Or are you hiding from my brother?" The smile vanished from her face as she looked up at him.
"Why would you say that?" Annicka asked sharply.
"The look on your face when I asked to sit down," Regulus explained smugly, "I know we sound alike to most people."
"You do sound alike, and look alike," Annicka agreed, "but that's not uncommon in families."
"So why are you hiding from him?" Regulus asked.
"He wants to talk to me about something I don't want to think about, and he's being . . . persistent," she explained vaguely.
"My brother never really cared about how much trouble he causes people," Regulus stated bitterly.
"I heard he ran away this summer," she stated, oddly interested in drawing out her conversation with the younger black.
"Yeah, I bet that made his 'bad boy' reputation more appealing to all the Gryffindor girls," he replied cynically.
Annicka laughed lightly, "Why do the two of you do that?" she asked still smiling.
"Do what?" Regulus asked confused.
"Pretend to hate each other so much," she explained. "I understand anger, and disappointment, but hate – I just don't buy it."
"Why don't you buy it?" Regulus asked his interest piqued.
"The way the two of you protect each other," she reasoned, "you save each other from getting into fights, divert attention."
"Do you pay such close attention to everyone?" Regulus sounded both flattered and disturbed.
"No," she objected. "But the two of you have interfered in my life often enough that I needed to be – aware."
"Sorry about that," he apologized.
"Are you really?" Annicka asked skeptically.
"Well, sort of," he answered honestly. Annicka laughed and packed up her books and papers. "Done studying?" he asked as she packed up.
"If I don't know it by now, then it won't do me any good," she answered philosophically.
"Good luck on your exams," Regulus wished her as she stood to leave.
"You too, fifth year was tough." Annicka paused, deliberating, "Can I ask you a personal question?" she asked before she walked away. When Regulus didn't say anything else she asked anyway, "Why are you going to join Voldemort?"
"You said his name," Regulus gasped, "no one says his name."
"Maybe you should hand out with more Gryffindors," she teased. "You didn't answer my question."
"When Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, and started distancing himself from our family all of my parent's hopes and expectations –"
"Fell on you," Annicka finished.
"They think he has the right idea. He's going to win you know," he added.
"Maybe," Annicka paused before she continued. "I'm going to give you a little unsolicited advice. I know how important it is for children to know our parents are proud of us, believe me I do, but our parents don't always know what's best for us. You have to do what you think is right. If that means joining Voldemort, fine, but if you don't think so . . . find your courage, and do what's right." They stared at each other for a moment before Annicka walked away, "Good bye Regulus."
5 June, 1977
I had an interesting experience speaking to Regulus Black today. We were actually civil to each other, and I'm beginning to wonder if I ever really hated either of the Blacks. Everything is getting turned around, and I don't know if anything will ever go back to the way it was – I don't know if it can. You know, as big as my problems always seemed I would take the problems of my first years here than the ones I have now. Why does growing up have to be so confusing?
Annicka Llewellyn
Annicka kept her head down as she made her way through the halls trying to avoid being seen by Sirius Black when someone stepped immediately into her path, "Hello" the person greeted her.
"Marcus," she sighed, "What do you want?" Annicka demanded to know tersely.
"You haven't been answering my letters," Marcus replied.
"Did you really think I would even talk to you after what you did to me?" she retorted angrily. "Good bye Marcus." Taking a step to the side she tried to walk around him. Marcus grabbed her arm stopping her from moving, "Let me go."
"You . . . ungrateful . . . little . . ." Marcus grabbed Annicka around the throat and pushed her through the crowd in the hall, lamming her against the wall, completely cutting off her air supply. "Do you have any idea what I did for you?" he growled in her ear. Several people in the hall cried out, a few girls screamed and moments later there was the sound of running.
"Get off her!" someone shouted as several pairs of hands pulled Marcus away from her. Annicka coughed and gasped as more air entered her lungs. "Are you okay?" Sirius asked trying to support her. Annicka looked up and saw James and Remus holding Marcus back.
"Don't!" she gasped, her voice hoarse. Everyone in the hall turned to stare at her. "Remus, Potter let him go."
"Ann –" Remus began to object.
"He's not worth getting expelled for," she argued. "Please, let's just get to class," she pleaded.
"What is going on here?" Professor Flitwick demanded to know, coming across the scene on the way to his office.
"Professor, he attacked Annicka," Remus blurted out as Marcus broke free of their grasp.
"Is this true Ms. Llewellyn?" Flitwick asked turning to Annicka.
"Yes, sir," she answered quietly.
"Follow me," he ordered and they all filed after him. Once the Professor had gotten the whole story he excused the 4 Gryffindors. "What is wrong with you?" Remus asked Annicka as they left.
"Leave it alone Remus," she snapped and walked away from the boys.
7 June, 1977
Final day of exams and possibly the worst day of the entire year! Remus and James Potter almost out about whom Marcus is, he attacked me in the hall today, chocked me. The next two weeks of school are going to be unbearable, honestly I may just leave. Why are boys so stupid? And why do girls only realize just how wrong for us they are after they hurt us? Tomorrow is Saturday and no matter what I am going to stay away from everyone male, even if I have to steal the map and invisibility cloak from the Marauders.
Annicka Llewellyn
8 June, 1977
I managed it! Other than meals I was able to stay away from boys all day. I found a great spot on the lake that keeps you hidden from the castle, and if you don't know where it is you probably wouldn't find it. I think I'll keep it to myself, we all need somewhere we can have peace and quiet – don't we? Two more weeks and thin I can leave this place and forget Marcus and Sirius and all the trouble they've caused me.
Annicka Llewellyn
Annicka looked up when she heard her name shouted down the hall, the voice was too familiar to mistake it for someone else, Sirius Black. Panicking Annicka turned and ran back the way she had just come. She turned into a side hall and gasped as someone pulled her to the side behind a tapestry covering a corridor. Grateful, but surprised, Annicka turned to thank the person who had rescued her only to find it was Regulus Black. He put a finger to his lips indicating she should be silent. Moments later they heard Sirius pass, searching for her. "Thank you," she sighed when Sirius was finally gone.
"Now we're even," Regulus replied easily. "To be safe you should probably leave out the other end of the corridor," he added blandly. Annicka smile a little and began to walk down the path with Regulus by her side, "How is your throat?" he asked randomly.
"I'm sorry?" Annicka asked confused by the sudden question.
"The whole school heard about what happened between you and Marcus Barbary," Regulus explained.
"Oh," Annicka paused hoping he didn't know the whole story, "Its fine now, thanks."
Regulus laughed at her expression, "You must be the most open minded Gryffindor in the history of the school."
"How do you figure that?" Annicka asked. The end of the tunnel was in sight, but she slowed drawing out the conversation.
"You are the girl who was dating Barbary until recently, aren't you?" Regulus asked. Obviously he knew the answer, but he wanted confirmation.
"A Gryffindor and a Slytherin, doesn't that sound a little far fetched?" she asked teasingly.
"That's not an answer," he pointed out.
"See you around Regulus," she smiled as she stepped out into the corridor and promptly disappeared into the crowd.
12 June, 1977
Exams are over, people are saying good bye to another year at Hogwarts . . . wow! That makes me sound so sentimental. Okay I'm going to tell the truth. We're leaving for summer holiday next wee, and for once I don't know if I want to come back next year. Obviously it would be good for me to finish my education, and I want to spend time with Lily, Remus, and the others, but I don't know if I can handle all the rest of it. I mean, Hogwarts is almost like its own little world where anything can happen, and not all of it is good. Not to mention you can never escape your ex-s. I still see Patrick and Marcus in the halls, somehow Jeremy and I have become friends. Then there is Sirius Black. I cannot escape from his constant nagging, whatever is driving his need to talk to me isn't going away, and I just don't think I can take it anymore. Hopefully the summer will give me some clarity.
Annicka Llewellyn
Annicka boarded the Hogwarts Express as soon as she stepped out of the carriage onto the train platform, she sat in "her" compartment, gazing out at the other students as they said good-byes and slowly filled up the train. "Can I come in?" a familiar voice asked.
"Do I have a choice?" Annicka grumbled, turning to look at Sirius Black as he closed the door behind him.
"Annicka I think I know why you've been avoiding me," he began, but she interrupted.
"Sirius, I don't want to talk about this," she objected.
"I know," he replied, "but there is something I have to say, so could you please listen?" he begged, taking the seat across from her. Annicka stayed silent, Sirius took that to mean yes, so he continued. "I guess the first thing I need to tell you, is that I don't regret kissing you. I've wanted to kiss you for so long, how could I-"
"How long?" Annicka suddenly interrupted, confused by his phrasing.
"Honestly . . . since the day I saw you with Claymore in the library. I was jealous, that's why I convinced him to break up with you," Sirius confessed.
"That was two years ago!" Annicka exclaimed, completely shocked.
"Yeah, well that was when I knew how I fell, it all started long before that," he explained. Sirius took a deep breath and continued, "Look, I don't know if you could ever feel the same way, but the night we kissed you kissed me back which has given me enough hope to ask. Ann, will you go out with me? On a date," Sirius was still, waiting anxiously for Annicka to speak.
"Sirius, I . . . I have no idea what to say right now," she confessed. "I mean, until a few weeks ago, all you ever did was teasing me and start fights, and now you're telling me that you fancy me. This is so confusing."
"I know, I'm sorry," Sirius apologized, dejected.
Annicka gazed into his eyes for a long time, so long he became worried that something had happened to her, but finally she spoke again. "Sirius, I can't say yes," his expression fell, "today," she qualified. "Give me some time to sort all of this out. If you don't hear from me this summer, will you ask me again? On the first?"
"We'll meet at the center of the train," he agreed. The whistle blew and the train started moving, "I'd better go find the guys," Sirius said as he stood to leave. When he got to the door of the compartment, he tried and failed to open it, "It's stuck," he sighed.
"Here, let me, there's a trick to it," Annicka stepped around him, and was about to open the door when she tripped and fell. Sirius caught her quickly, grabbing her around the waist. She looked up to say "thank you" but froze when she saw the look in his eyes. Knock, knock, someone rapped their knuckles against the door. Annicka stepped back and opened the door, revealing Remus on the other side.
"Is everything okay?" he asked warily.
"Fine," Annicka answered easily. "Black just stopped by to say hello, and the door closed when the train started. I was just about to open it when you knocked."
"See you next year," Sirius said as he wove around Remus.
"Bye," Annicka replied.
Remus watched Sirius leave before asking, "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, Remus I'm fine," she assured him. "Did you come to ask me to sit with you?"
"You caught me," he put his hands up in mock surrender. "So will you come?"
"Maybe, I have some things to think through," Annicka answered with a quiet sigh.
"Okay, well, you know how to find me." Remus gave her a parting smile before making his way back down the corridor.