"Ann, come with me," he whispered in her ear. Hearing the urgency in his voice Annicka leaves her books on the table she followed him without a word. Taking her hand Sirius led Annicka to the 7th floor.
"What are we doing at the Room of Requirement?" Annicka finally asked as Sirius stopped pacing and a door appeared in the middle of the wall.
"I just wanted some privacy," Sirius answered vaguely. When they entered the room seemed small and cozy with a sofa and fireplace. Annicka sat on the sofa making herself comfortable. Sirius began to pace back and froth growing more and more agitated.
"Sirius stop," she reached out and pulled him down next to her. "You need to calm down or you'll never be able to say what you want to say."
"You're right," Sirius agreed. He took several deep breaths as he gazed into her eyes. "I love you," he said, "Ann – I've wanted to tell you for months now, I just didn't know how . . ."
Annicka placed her fingers against his lips, "I know," she sighed, "I love you too." Sirius grinned before kissing her, Annicka didn't know when the sofa they were sitting on became a luxurious bed, but she had stopped thinking long before that.
When Annicka woke the next morning it was to the very pleasant sensation of Sirius running his fingers up and down her spine, tracing letters across her bare skin. "Good morning," he greeted her when she turned her face to look at him.
"Good morning," she replied with a smile and a kiss. "What time is it?" she asked suddenly pulling away.
"I don't know," Sirius replied surprised by her worried tone. A clock appeared on the wall behind him, where Annicka was still looking showing her the time was 8:45am. "McGonagall is going to kill me!" Annicka exclaimed. Jumping up from the bed she began putting on her clothes.
"Ann classes start in 15 minutes, we have plenty of time," Sirius argued, trying to calm her down. "Besides, it won't kill you to spend the day in here with me," he added with a smirk.
"You, my friend, have a very high opinion of yourself," she joked as she leaned across the bed to give him a kiss. As she straightened up she pulled the covers off him.
"Oi!" he objected trying to pull the sheets back.
"I promised McGonagall that I wouldn't miss any classes, besides my future at the Ministry depends on my N.E.W.T s this year," Annicka explained as she threw his clothes at him. "Now, get dressed, or we'll be eating lunch in the Great Hall instead of our spot." Sirius grumbled but dressed quickly into his uniform, tying his tie as he followed Annicka into the hall.
"You know the only reason I'm doing this is because you're gorgeous," Sirius grumbled jokingly.
"I'm going back to the tower for a few things," Annicka informed him with a roll of her eyes at his theatrics. "If I'm not back in time for Transfiguration please tell McGonagall I'm just a few minutes behind."
"I will," Sirius promised. They shared a sweet lingering kiss, until Annicka shooed him away. She turned on her heel to go back to the tower and stopped when she saw Remus standing at the end of the corridor. "Good morning Remus," she greeted him brightly.
"Where have you been?" Remus asked her, his tone terse.
"I'm sorry?" Annicka was obviously confused by the question.
"You weren't at breakfast this morning," he explained, "or in the dorms, all night."
"Is everything okay?" Annicka asked stepping toward him.
"Were you with Black?" Remus asked ignoring her question.
"In seven years I have not heard you call him Black once. What is wrong with you?" Annicka demanded to know getting defensive.
"What is wrong with me?" Remus asked incredulous. "What's wrong is that I am tired of seeing my best friend turn into Black's whore!"
Annicka took three steps forward and slapped Remus hard enough his head snapped to the side. "How dare you!" she exclaimed. "How dare you say that to me?" Remus sighed and stepped forward to hug her, "No do not touch me," Ann ordered taking a step back.
"Ann, I know this is hard for you to hear," Remus replied his tone hardening, "but Black is using you, and when he gets what he wants he will toss you aside."
"Remus for the fist time since my parents died I am happy, truly happy," Annicka stated her tone pained, "why are you trying to take that away from me?"
"Because it won't last," Remus immediately answered, "and you deserve someone who loves you. Black doesn't love you."
"Stop it," Annicka pleaded taking another step back.
"Ann, he doesn't love you," Remus argued.
"Stop saying that!" she shouted.
"You have to listen to me," he pleaded.
"No I don't," Ann objected, "Sirius loves me."
Remus scoffed, "Why because he told you?"
"He didn't have to," Ann stated her voice held such conviction it made Remus pause. He looked around the hall trying to construct another argument when he saw the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy, he whipped his head to the opposite wall, now totally blank.
"The Room of Requirement," Remus whispered. "You did it, didn't you?" he asked turning back to Annicka.
"What?" she asked derailed by the vague question.
"You slept with Black last night, didn't you?" he demanded to know.
"Remus," she sighed, and was about to speak again when he grabbed her arm.
"Tell me!" he shouted, almost screamed.
"Yes, alright?" she shouted in return trying to pull her arm from his grasp. "I slept with him, is that what you want to hear?"
"How could you?" Remus shook her as he began to loose control.
"Because he loves me as much as I love him!" Ann stated passionately.
"What did you say?" Remus gasped, letting her arms go as though he had been scalded.
Annicka knew immediately what he was really asking, "I love Sirius Black," she stated calmly. Remus stared intensely at her for a moment before he completely shut down. There was a moment of silence then Remus turned on his heel and started to walk away. "Wait," she chased after him. "Remus wait," she stopped him with a hand on his arm. Remus looked down at her, and the look on his face froze the very breath in her lungs. He walked away while Annicka remained frozen in place.
Eventually she came back to herself, "Remus," she whispered looking around to find him. "Remus," she called out hoping he would answer. Annicka took a step forward, then another and another. She stumbled through the halls searching for Remus. She stopped when she realized she was sobbing. Not wanting to be discovered Annicka ducked into the nearest room. It just so happened to be Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. "What do you want?" the melancholy ghost demanded to know. Annicka merely continued to cry, collapsing to the floor when she could no longer stand.
Lily was walking through the halls down to lunch after doing a little extra studying in the library when she saw a very frightened first year leaving Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. "What's wrong dear?" Lily asked trying to calm her fears.
"There's a girl in there crying," the younger girl replied.
"Oh, that's just Myrtle-"
"No not the ghost, a real girl," the first year explained.
Lily looked up at the door of the bathroom, "Okay, I'll take care of it you just go to lunch," lily assured her. She waited until the little girl had gone before going in. "Annicka?" Lily asked recognizing the girl on the floor. Annicka looked up and started crying harder.
"Finally," a new voice sighed. Lily looked up to see the ghost of a young girl in a Hogwarts School uniform.
"Myrtle," Lily looked up to her. "How long has she been like this?" she asked sitting down next to her friend.
"Hours," Myrtle replied. "It's actually stating to annoy me."
"I'll take care of her Myrtle," Lily promised. Moaning Myrtle floated away, and Lily pulled Annicka into a sitting position. "Annicka, breathe, you need to breathe," Lily ordered. After a few moments on uncontrolled sobbing Annicka was able to speak.
"He left, he left," Annicka gasped.
"Who, Sirius?" Lily asked confused.
"No," Ann objected, "Remus."
"Ann, I really want to help you," Lily stated, "but you have to start at the beginning."
Annicka nodded slowly taking a few deep breaths, "Right, well I guess it really all began last night."
"Last night?" Lily asked completely confused.
"I was with Sirius," Annicka told her. Lily frowned still not understanding, so Annicka elaborated, "all night."
Lily's eyes widened as she finally got it, "Wow! Okay, we are going to talk about that later, in detail . . . what does this have to do with Remus?"
"He saw us saying good bye this morning, and he was so angry," Annicka explained, fresh tears running down her cheeks. "He kept saying that Sirius is just using me, and I kept arguing. Finally Remus put two and two together, he was shouting and shaking me, demanding to know if he was right. So, I told him the truth, yes he was right about last night, and I told him I love Sirius." Her voice had grown in strength until it broke on the last word, her crying increasing.
"He just walked way," she continued, "I tried to stop him, but he way he looked at me . . . hate, disgust, and betrayal, and pain, so much pain. Lily I have never seen him look at anyone like that. I couldn't think, I couldn't move and when he walked away from me, I knew."
"Knew what?" Lily prompted when Annicka didn't continue.
"I knew he was never coming back," she explained, "No matter what I I can never make this right between us. He's gone. Lily I feel lost, like the only thing tying me to the earth has snapped. I don't' know what I'm going to do without him. I love Sirius, I really do, but Remus keeps me together. Lily I don't know what to do."
Lily gazed long and hard at her friend, taking in every aspect of her appearance, and everything Annicka had said. "The only thing you need to worry about right now is getting some rest," Lily stated. "Come on, back to the dorms," Annicka allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. "I will talk to the teachers, and Remus. We'll sort this out."
Annicka threw her arms around Lily whispering her thanks and allowed her to be led back to Gryffindor Tower, still crying silently. Lily tucked Annicka into bed and went down to lunch. She found their group of friends, Remus was silent and withdrawn, but no one seemed to notice. Sirius was obviously distracted, looking for Annicka, and the others were listening to a story James was telling.
"Lily, have you seen Ann?" Sirius asked as Lily approached.
"She's in the dorm," Lily replied, "she had a headache." She patted Sirius on the shoulder and walked over to Remus, "I need to talk to you, right now."
James paused in his story recognizing her tone, as she had used it many times on him, "Is everything okay?"
"Nothing for you to worry about dear," Lily replied with a smile. She looked down at Remus and he gave up, following her out into the Entrance Hall. Lily led him into an empty classroom, "What did you do to Annicka this morning?" she demanded to know.
"I didn't see Annicka this morning," Remus lied.
"Remus, I know the two of you had a fight this morning," Lily stated her anger barely restrained. "I just found her in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, she had been in there all morning, crying."
"She was crying?" Remus asked his careful mask of disinterestedness slipping.
"Yes, and I would like to know what you did to her," Lily glared at Remus, and he glared right back.
"I didn't do anything to her!" Remus' voice was steadily climbing in volume as he spoke. "I was only telling her the truth. I may have been the one to walk away, but she's the one who left!"
"Remus what are you talking about?" Lily asked raising an eyebrow.
"She left me, over and over," Remus explained angrily.
"Remus," Lily interrupted, "Annicka didn't leave you, because the two of you were never together."
He froze, his anger derailed by surprise, "That's not what I meant," he argued.
"Of course it is," Lily scoffed. "You're in love with Ann, you always have been." She paused for a moment studying him, "You never told her did you?"
Remus sighed sitting on a desk, "How could I? I can't even admit it to myself," he sighed dejectedly. "Lily, what do I do?"
"That is a very big question," Lily admitted. They stood in silence for several minutes, thinking. "Okay, here's how I see it. You have two options. One, you get over your jealousy and anger, and go back to being friends. Two, you leave things as they are and you never speak to Annicka again. You would have to cut her out of your life completely."
"I don't know if I can do that," Remus confessed, "and I don't know if she can ever forgive me enough to be my friend again."
"She doesn't blame you Remus," Lily told him, her tone sympathetic and sad. "Annicka blames herself for the fight," she continued when he looked confused.
"This is a mess," Remus groaned putting his head in his hands. Lily sighed and headed to the door, her hand was on the handle when she turned to face him. "Let me say one last thing. If you go back to being friends before you're ready, and you do this to her again, I will hunt you down and kill you for breaking her heart." She turned the knob and left.
That night during dinner Sirius accompanied Lily as she brought a plate of food for Annicka, "Ann, come down and eat something," Lily pleaded as she stood by her friend's bed.
"I can't be around all those people right now Lily," Annicka argued.
"Just come down to the Common Room, I brought you a plate of all your favorite foods," Lily cajoled. Annicka sighed heavily, but climbed out of her bed and followed Lily down to the Common Room.
"Sirius!" she gasped seeing her boyfriend. Annicka rushed down the stairs into his arms.
January, 1978
My life has turned up-side down. Last night Sirius and I . . . went all the way. This morning Remus found a reason to hate me. Love sucks.
Annicka Llewellyn