Annicka sighed as she stared u pat the sky full of stars, "So you are up here," Sirius stated stepping out onto the roof of the Astronomy Tower.
"How did you know I would be here?" Ann asked with a small smile.
"Moony told me," Sirius answered and Annicka's smile faded, "I asked him where you would go if you were really upset."
"Why would you think I'm upset?" she asked smiling again.
"Ann, I may not know you as well as he does, but I do know you well enough," he stated joining her at the parapet. "It's not getting any better between the two of you is it?" Annicka looked u pat him, her expression surprised, almost panicked. "The two of you haven't spoken for weeks, and both of you have been moping. I do have basic reasoning skills."
"Stop putting yourself down," she ordered. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"Why didn't you?" Sirius asked his curiosity and concern were palpable.
Annicka sighed and explained, "Your relationship with Remus is complicated enough because the two of us are dating. I didn't want to put you in the middle of our fight."
"It wasn't about me was it?" he asked, half joking.
"Of course not," Ann objected, not entirely sure if she was lying or not. "I just want the two of you to stay friends no matter what happens."
"Okay," Sirius agreed, hugging her close.
February, 1978
Still no change, I really don't think Remus will ever forgive me. Sirius has been wonderful and very understanding. I just love him more and more.
Annicka Llewellyn
Sirius pulled Annicka along with him into the courtyard. They sat down on one of the many benches littering the wide space. "What are we doing out here? Supper is in five minutes," Annicka asked baffled by his behavior.
"I know," Sirius replied with a smile, "I just thought it would be nice to have some real alone time together." Annicka smiled and leaned into his shoulder getting more comfortable. They stayed like that for some time, speaking quietly to each other. "Moony," Sirius greeted his friend as he approached.
"Hey," Remus replied. "Can I have a minute alone with Ann?" he requested. Sirius looked down to Annicka. She nodded her agreement with a small smile.
"I'll save you two a seat," Sirius kissed Ann on the forehead and stood up, "Good luck," he whispered to Remus as he passed.
Remus and Annicka stared at each other for a moment then both opened their mouths to speak at the same time. "Let me," Remus pleaded. "I need to tell you something, and if I don't get it out now I won't be able to say it."
"Okay," Annicka agreed waiting patiently.
Remus took a deep breath and spoke, "I love you. I am in love with you, I always have been." He paused Annicka froze her mouth slightly agape. "It's no excuse, but hat's why I was so angry. I was jealous and I took it out on you. That wasn't fair of me, I'm sorry."
"I don't know what to say," Annicka finally choked out. "Remus you know I love Sirius. I can't, I won't ever love you the way you want me to."
"I know," Remus replied his voice was calm, if a little sad.
"So, what do we do now?" she asked sounding overwhelmed.
Remus stepped forward, anxiously excited, "I've been thinking about that a lot. These past few weeks have been torture, being without you, if you can forgive me maybe we can be friends again," he suggested.
"Will that be enough for you?" Annicka asked.
Remus looked down at her in confusion, "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean, will being my friend be enough?" she asked sounding very worried, "I don't want to hurt you, and if seeing me with Sirius . . ."
"Ann, you don't have to worry about me," Remus assured her. "Whatever I feel, I will deal with. As long as you're happy, that's all I need." He soot before her, his expression pleading. With a sigh she reached out and pulled him onto the bench beside her. "Can you forgive me?" he asked.
"Of course," she sighed, "I already have. And we can be friends again, on one condition."
"Anything," he promised eagerly.
"You must never walk away from me like that again," Annicka ordered, for the first time sounding close to tears.
"I promise," Remus smiled and Annicka hugged him fiercely. "I missed you," she whispered.
"Me too," he replied. They broke apart and without another word joined the rest of the school for supper.
15 February, 1978
Everything is okay now. Remus finally explained what the fight was really about. I never thought I would say these words, even with a quill. My best friend, Remus Lupin, is in love with me. He told me that he started the fight because he was jealous. So we made up, but I don't know if we can ever really go back to the way things used to be. No matter what Remus says I'm going to be worried about him seeing me with Sirius for a while. Something odd happened when he confessed to me today. For a moment I felt a glimmer of the feelings I thought I'd had in 5th year after my parents died. Life couldn't be any more complicated, could it?
Annicka Llewellyn
The Gryffindor Common Room emptied as the night deepened until the only students left were the 7th years. "It's been a long time since we all just hung out like this," Lily commented looking around to all of her friends.
"Since we have the common room all to ourselves I have something to tell you guys," Annicka announced. Everyone turned to look at her sitting in the center of their semi-circle. "Just after the fight with the Death Eaters, Professor Dumbledore came to see me in the Hospital Wing. He told me about a group he has organized to fight Voldemort. The Order of the Phoenix, he invited all of us to join when we graduate. I basically told him yes for all of us, but I wanted to give all of you the chance to think it over."
"Think it over?" Frank repeated breaking the silence.
"I don't need to think it over," Remus stated, "Padfoot do you need to think it over?" he asked Sirius.
"Nope," Sirius answered. He and Annicka looked at each other for a moment before he concluded, "We're in." Annicka grinned as the whole group voiced their agreement. No one noticed Peter's hesitation, and the conversation quickly turned to other things.
10 March, 1978
3 more months of school, which means the work load is intense getting ready for our N.E.W.T. s. Things between Sirius and I cooled off after my fight with Remus, but now things are so hot we can't keep our hands off each other. It's becoming a real problem. Our friends keep separating us in class. Every time I see him I just can't let him get away. It's odd but the closer I get to him, emotionally, the more afraid I get. Maybe it has something to do with my parents. But there isn't really anyone I can talk to about it. The only person who might understand my fears is the one person I don't want to admit my fears to. Remus is doing really good with the whole thing, but if I tell him about my fears he might do something drastic.
Annicka Llewellyn
Annicka smiled as she ran her fingers through Sirius' hair. She was sitting on the sofa with a book in her hand and Sirius' head in her lap, lost in the words of Lord Byron when Sirius asked her a question, "Where are you going to live after we graduate?"
She looked down at him, a little surprised, "I'm going to live with the Lupins until I can find my own place," she answered him with a shrug.
"What if I gave you another option?" Sirius asked as he sat up. "I have a flat in London, I bought it over Christmas, you could move in with me."
"You do understand what you're asking me, don't you?" Annicka asked surprised by the offer. "It wouldn't be like it is here, with separate bedrooms, and all of that. I wouldn't just be a flat-mate. We would share everything . . . are you ready for that?"
"Ann, I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure about you, about us," he replied. Annicka spent one long minute gazing into his eyes, gauging his sincerity and her feelings on the matter.
"Okay," she finally agreed. "I'll move in with you," Sirius kissed her enthusiastically before rushing off to do who-knew-what. He passed Remus on his way out of the tower grinning like a fool. "Hello Remus," she greeted him.
"What is he so happy about?" Remus asked bemused.
"Sirius asked me to move in with him when we graduate," she informed him sounding a little nervous, "and I said yes."
"Are you happy about this?" he asked noticing her hesitation.
"Yes," she assured him with a smile.
"Then, congratulations," Remus replied. "Now, are we going to study or what?" Annicka laughed with relief and followed him to their usual table.
5 April, 1978
Things are changing so quickly now. The world has turned to chaos. The Ministry has now officially declared war on Voldemort and his Death Eaters. People keep disappearing, and they say if you come home to see the Dark Mark above your house all within it are dead. The fear and pain of loss keep creeping into the school. Dozens of students have lost loved ones now. The Slytherins are the least affected by all of this and it's starting to cause a lot of strain between the already strained relationships between the houses.
The class load has gotten so big even James and Sirius spend half their time studying. Lily was surprised for a few moments, but she soon became focused on studying again. Honestly, I don't know hwy it took them so long to get together . . . well, maybe I do.
Annicka Llewellyn
"Annicka!" James called out to her as she walked down the hall. "I'm so glad I found you alone, I need your help."
"Okay," Annicka replied curious. He took her into the nearest empty classroom and quickly shut the door. "I have a question to ask Lily, and I don't know how."
Annicka watched him for a moment until she understood what he wanted to ask Lily, "You're going to purpose," she stated. "When were you planning to ask her?"
"Graduation," James answered sounding incredibly nervous.
"Wait," she made him pause, "you weren't thinking of asking her in front of the entire school, were you?"
"Well . . ." he confessed.
"No, just no," Annicka stated almost laughing at the absurdity. "Lily won't say yes if you ask her in front of everyone." She paused thinking, "I know a secluded place by the lake, no one will see you there, and it's very romantic. Ask the House Elves to put together a picnic. After the ceremony steal her away for a few moments, have a little treat, then pop the question." Annicka patted him on the shoulder and left the room.
10 May, 1978
Alice just gave us some amazing news. Frank has purposed, and she has accepted. So when James asks Lily, we will be helping to plan two weddings. I caught a few looks from Mary and Margo directed at Lily and I over supper. They both have boyfriends, but not ones they would consider marrying at this point, if ever, so Lily and I are the next logical choices, I just don't think I'll ever get to that point.
Annicka Llewellyn
Annicka was enjoying a few quiet moments in a dark corner of the library when a now familiar voice greeted her. "Is this you hide out or something?" Regulus asked.
"Well most of the boys I know don't like the library, so I get a few moments of peace and quiet," Ann explained.
"And I always know where to find you," Regulus added.
"So you were looking for me," she concluded. "Was it for a particular reason, or did you just want to chat?"
"I wanted to ask you a question," Regulus stated and took a seat next to her. "You told me that you will fight the Dark Lord, and I was wondering, why?"
Annicka and Regulus studied each other for a few moments before she asked a question of her own. "How much do you know about my family?"
"Not much," he answered a little startled. "I heard they died a couple of years ago."
"My father was an Auror, my mother a muggle," she began the story blandly. "They were visiting my only other living relative, my maternal grandmother, and one night a group of Dark Wizards attacked them. My father was incapacitated somehow and forced to watch as my mother and grandmother were sealed inside the house and burned alive. Eventually they killed him too," Annicka's voice remained steady, not a tear fell from her eyes.
"And you think the Dark Lord had a hand in it?" Regulus asked shakily.
"No one could ever confirm it," she answered mildly, "and I suppose it could have been another group – but Regulus that is what he does. All of these disappearances, the attack on the students in Hogsmeade. Whatever his ultimate goal is he will torture and kill anyone who gets in his way." Anncika's voice grew stronger as she continued, more confident, more heated. "So I will fight, for muggles like my mother, wizards like my father, for half-bloods and muggle-borns so we may all live our lives, however we choose to."
Regulus was silent so long Annicka had actually opened her book again and looked down at the page when he spoke. "I understand," he stated. "Thank you for telling me about your family." She nodded mutely and watched as he walked away with a sad smile on his face.
25 May, 1978
Exams are a little over a week away and the entire 7th year class is having breakdowns and fits of homicidal rage. Please, please let us make it through.
Annicka Llewellyn
"Put down your quills," the Ministry official instructed. "Congratulations, you are through." The hall erupted into cheers and relieved tears, the 7th year students had completed their final tests. They all ran out of the doors and onto the grounds like a flood of black ink released from the bottle. The Marauders and company found themselves beneath their favorite oak tree. "Ann, Moony, Lily no talking about the test. I just did it I don't want to review it," Sirius ordered before anyone else could talk. The three 'bookworms' laughed and spent the rest of the afternoon lazing around the grounds with the rest of their friends.
25 June, 1978
We are just a couple days away from graduation. Our futures will be determined by test results and the outcome of a war we've barely begun to fight. Still some of us aren't waiting, James has been typically single minded, he can't stop asking for advice about how to purpose to Lily. As I have told him repeatedly he just needs to speak from the heart. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with that boy.
Annicka Llewellyn