Over the next few days James and Lily became very worried about Sirius and Annicka. They were both withdrawn and depressed, and nothing either of them said could convince Annicka to speak to Sirius. Finally James took it upon himself to get them to talk, so one evening just after supper as Annicka washed the dishes James let Sirius in and convinced Lily to leave the two of them alone. "Ann?" he called to her.

She paused a moment, setting aside the dish she was washing, before asking, "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," he stated.

"I have nothing to say," she argued.

"Well I do," Sirius growled already frustrated by her stubborn refusal to speak to him. "Ann, I am sorry that I cannot give you a satisfactory explanation for my behavior recently. I never wanted to hurt you, but these past few days have taught me something important. I cannot live without you," he gasped slightly his emotions carrying his voice away for a moment. "So now I have a question to ask you Annicka."

Annicka sighed and finally turned around to face him, she gasped to find him kneeling down on one knee with a ring in his hand. "I love you Annicka Llewellyn, will you marry me?"

Absolute silence greeted his proposal, he waited patiently for an answer which she finally gave, "No," she whispered. "I am so sorry, but I cannot marry you."

"Ann, I know that we have some problems, but -" Sirius began to argue, but was interrupted by Annicka.

"This shouldn't be the solution," she argued. "Sirius I still love you, but I don't want you to ask me to marry you because we had a fight, not to mention I broke up with you." Annicka looked down at Sirius who was still kneeling before her, "I can't marry you now . . . but give us some time to work things out and then ask me again."

"So you'll come back – but you won't marry me?" Sirius asked as he finally stood.

"Yet," Annicka amended, causing Sirius to smile wistfully. "I'll go get my things," she stepped around him and headed up the stairs to the guest room and found Lily and James on the landing. Annicka didn't say anything as she passed them, but allowed Lily to follow her.

"Ann why didn't you say yes?" Lily demanded to know as Annicka quickly packed her bags.

"How could I?" Annicka scoffed. "Everything I said down there was true, besides I'm going to die by the end of the month. How can I give him everything he wants and then take it all away?" She sighed and collapsed on the edge of the bed, "I honestly never thought he would propose."

"Isn't this what you want too?" Lily asked gently as she sat next to her friend and took her hand.

"Of course," Annicka replied sounding truly miserable as she continued. "It's what I've always wanted. I'm just one of those people who will never get it." The two of them sat silently for a moment before Annicka gathered her resolve and finished packing.

22 October, 1979

Well, I think it's reasonable to say that today has been the most surprising day of my life. Sirius proposed to me this afternoon. I was so shocked I almost said yes. I know he doesn't understand why I said no, but he was very sweet about it. We came to a compromise, I agreed to come home and he agreed to give me some time. Why does life and live have to be so complicated? Things were so much easier when we were kids and all we did was argue and pull pranks on each other. I don't know if I'll ever be able to say goodbye to him, but I have to find a way.

Annicka Llewellyn

The Order of the Phoenix meeting ended with a nod from Dumbledore followed immediately by the members of the Order milling about. Dumbledore gave Annicka a pointedly sad look that made her think he knew about her sad fate before he left. "It's late, and we have to leave quite early tomorrow," Remus reminded his friends. "I'm going home, see you all later," everyone said their farewells and as Remus left others also made their way home.

"Are you ready to go home?" Sirius asked a few minutes later.

"Actually . . . I just remembered something I need to talk to Remus about. I'm just going to stop by his place for a few minutes, then I'll be home," Ann replied.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked blandly.

"No," she answered gently, "I'll only be a few minutes, 15 at the most. I'll meet you at home." Sirius nodded, kissed her on the cheek and watched her go.

Annicka took several breaths before she knocked on Remus' front door. Moments later Remus opened it, and a smile burst across his face, "Ann!"

"May I come in?" she asked. Remus stepped aside and let her in. "You really should check that the people at your front door are really who they say they are," she cautioned him. "The Death Eaters have taken to using the Polyjuice Potion, and there is always the imperious curse."

"Well, I'm not worried," Remus objected. "I always know when it's you." There was a moment of silence and a smile before he asked, "Why are you here?"

"I came to say goodbye," Annicka answered.

"We said goodbye at the meeting," Remus said confused by her answer.

"No, we said 'see you later'," she argued. "I mean a proper goodbye, I have something for you."

"Something for me?" Remus asked happily surprised.

"Yes, but it's a surprise – so I need you to close your eyes." Annicka waited patiently for Remus to accept that she was serious and a moment later he complied closing his eyes. "Now, don't open your eyes," she ordered.

"I won't," Remus promised his eyes still closed as he waited. He didn't notice when Annicka stepped closer, she took one more deep breath stood on her toes and kissed him. He pulled back immediately, "Ann, what -?"

"Shh," she placed a finger to his lips. "Don't think" Ann pleaded and kissed him again. Remus hesitated a second longer but Annicka wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into her. Abandoning himself to the kiss Remus wrapped an arm around her waist as his other hand tangled in her hair. The kiss deepened, full of need and passion, the wall of the hall was not far and Annicka gasped as her back was pressed against it and Remus trailed kisses down her neck. "Mmmm," she moaned, "Remus."

There was a pause and suddenly Remus was on the other side of the hall, and Annicka had a distinctly unpleasant sensation of falling as he released her. Both of them were breathing heavily, and looking a bit disheveled. "Remus," she called to him, taking a stop away from the wall.

"Stay there," Remus ordered his voice tight.

Annicka tried to hold back the hurt from her voice, "I'm sorry if I upset you -"

"Don't," he ordered and Annicka froze, waiting. "Explain."

"I don't even know where to start," she confessed.

"The beginning?" he suggested.

Annicka was silent for a while trying to organize her thoughts. "I've been thinking, a lot, over the past week about my life, about my regrets, and my biggest regret in my life is lying to you."

"Lying – about what?" Remus asked still confused.

"Do you remember that day 7th year?" she asked trying to prompt his memory.

"The day we fought?" he guessed.

"No, the day we made up," she answered. "The first time you told me that you love me. I told you that I couldn't and wouldn't ever love you the way you wanted me to," Remus nodded remembering, "but I lied, because I do. Remus I love you." Annicka continued as he stood frozen in shock, trying to explain her reasons for everything. "When we first met we became the best of friends, and for years that was how I thought of you. After my parents died you became my family, my only family, and somewhere in between I fell in love with you." Remus' expression brightened with hope, "I told myself that I was crazy, that you could never feel that way aobut me, so I moved on, or so I thought.

"That day, when you told me, I realized it then that I didn't move past those feelings, I just buried them. I realized that I was still in love with you, and part of me always would be, but I also realized that it wasn't enough. I realized that I love Sirius more. I knew it would be cruel to tell you then – and maybe it's cruel to tell you now, but if I don't I'll never have another chance and I need you to know."

"Annicka," Remus took a step forward, automatically reaching out to her.

"You know me better than anyone," she continued before he could speak, "and I want you to know me, all of me, the good and the bad."

"And what is this?" he asked, still approaching, slowly.

"A little bit of both I think," she replied with a small smile. Remus paused in the center of the hall a thought occurring to him that stopped him dead. "Wait . . . you said this was your last chance to tell me, what did you mean by that?" he asked.

"Remus, after tonight, we will never see each other again," the sadness and certainty in her voice pierced him to the bone.

"Ann – if you're worried about us, don't be. It's a reconnaissance mission, we'll be gone a week, 2 at the most," Remus tried to reassure her and himself.

"I know" Annicka objected taking a step forward. "I'm not worried about any of you."

"Then . . . are you leaving?" he guessed next.

"Not exactly," she took another step, then another until she was standing mere inches away from Remus. She reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, looked him in the eye and said, "I'm going to die."

Remus snatched her hand away and took a step back, "That's not funny."

"I'm not joking," she answered.

"No, this is ridiculous," Remus argued.

"Remus just listen to me," Annicka peladed.

"No," he objected again, "Ann you are not going to die!"

"Remus please!" she begged, her voice suddenly cracking as tears welled up in her eyes. He stopped shocked by her reaction, "I am trying really hard to keep it together and you're not helping."

"Sorry," he apologized taking a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

"Just listen to me, please," she begged. "When I die," Remus started to object, but she cut him off. "When I die, I need you to promise me something – two things."

"Okay, tell me," he reluctantly agreed.

"When it happens I want you to take care of our family," she requested.

"Our family?" he asked confused.

"You, Sirius, James and Lily, Alice and Frank you've all become my family and I can't go without knowing that someone will take care of all of you as I would," Annicka stated desperately.

"That's easy enough," Remus agreed quickly, "What's the second thing?"

"Sirius still doesn't know aobut the baby, and I need you to make sure he never finds out. Lily has already agreed to hide my journal, I just need you to make sure he doesn't find out some other way."

Remus took a step back, "So this was all about him, all of it, the kiss-"

"No," Annicka argued taking a step forward to meet him. "No, this isn't about anyone but you and me; I am asking you to do this because I trust you. I trust you more than anyone else in the whole world."

Remus closed his eyes and sighed, "Alright," he agreed. "I promise."

"Thank you," Annicka sighed, her relief palpable.

Remus smiled a little as he placed a hand on her shoulder, "So you never did say why you kissed me."

"I told you I had a present for you," she reminded him with a smile of her own. "A moment, a memory, I wanted to give you something that could never be broken, or taken from you. Something to remember me by."

"I could never forget you," Remus objected pulling her into an embrace. Annicka looked up at him with a smile and he kissed her once more. It was short and sweet and full of meaning. "You have to go now, don't you?"

"He's waiting for me," Annicka confirmed, neither of them needed to say who. Remus reluctantly released her, "Goodbye," she sighed and walked to the door.

"Ann," he called out to her and she paused looking back to him, "would you say it again, please?"

She smiled brightly, "I love you Remus," with a soft sigh she left.

"I love you too," he whispered and began to cry.

Annicka was back home in seconds and was pleased to see Sirius waiting for her, "How did it go?" he asked pleasantly.

"Just fine," she replied with a smile and a shrug.

"I don't have to go tomorrow," he stated approaching her.

"Sirius," she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I know you're worried about us, but you shouldn't be. I think the best thing for us is to just get back to normal, and this is normal." Sirius was about to speak again, but Annicka shook her head and cut him off. "No more talking tonight. Just promise me one more thing, wake me up before you leave."

"You got it," Sirius replied with a grin. The next morning Annicka woke to sunlight streaming though her bedroom window, alone. Sirius had left her a note on the night stand.

Ann,

I know I promised to wake you before I left but you were sleeping so peacefully I couldn't bring myself to wake you up. I love you, see you soon.

Sirius

Annicka smiled softly, whispered a quietly goodbye and went on with her life.

28 October, 1979

I cannot believe Halloween is only a few days away. I still feel like I should be walking into the great hall for the fest, but that part of my life is over. I guess I'm just nostalgic. Anyway, the boys will be back in a few days. They finished a little early with their assignment, but found something else to investigate so they'll be back as planned. Despite what else I feel, I really hope it get to see Remus and Sirius before I die.

Annicka Llewellyn

Alice, Annicka and Lily were laughing uproariously at their 'Girl's night in' at the Potters. "It's true!" Alice insisted.

"Oh, that is tragic!" Lily exclaimed, "Who would name their child that?"

"Well what would you name your child?" Annicka challenged once they had calmed down a little.

"I don't know, I've never really thought about it," Lily confessed.

"I've always liked the name Harry," Annicka replied, "I don't think it would do for me, can you imagine the teasing if I named my child Harry Black?" the girls all laughed, and it took them a much longer time to calm down the second time.

"I like traditional names myself," Alice commented, "Harry is a good name."

"I think it would be a good name for you Lily, if you ever have a boy," Ann stated.

"For me?" Lily asked surprised.

"Harry Potter, it has a nice ring to it," the girls were forced to agree. Annicka left a little while later against the protests of her friends. The moment she stepped through her front door Annicka knew something was wrong and when she stepped into the living room she knew what it was. There were about 10 Death Eaters positioned around the room with Lord Voldemort, looking remarkably less human than the last time she had seen him, seated in the center. "Would anyone like some tea?" she asked pleasantly.

"No, thank you," Voldemort answered for them all, surprisingly polite. "Please sit down," a Death Eater grabbed her by the arm and deposited her into the seat opposite from Voldemort.

Annicka made herself comfortable before she spoke, "Let's cut the pleasantries and propaganda and get straight to the point. What do you want?"

"Watch your tongue," one of the Death Eaters growled.

"You and your master are trespassing, I will speak to him however I like," Annicka replied coldly. "So?" she prompted turning back to Voldemort.

"I want you to join me -" he didn't get to say anything else as Annicka burst out laughing. The Dark Lord was stunned into silence along with his Death Eaters. "Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized by habit, "that is just too funny!"

"May I ask what is so amusing?" Voldemort asked tersely.

"It's just, the fact that you genuinely expect me to join you is hilarious!" she explained, choking back more laughter. "Why me?" Ann asked suddenly.

"You have certain associations that I would like to keep track of," Voldemort explained vaguely.

"Associations?" she asked. "The only groups I'm associated with are the Ministry and the Order. You already have friends in the Ministry from what I can tell – so you must want me to spy on the Order for you," she concluded.

"You are clever," he complimented her, "Clever enough to understand the advantages of helping me."

"Yes, but why me? You must have other names from the Order, why would you pick me?" Annicka made the connection almost as soon as she asked the question. "Because you think I have the most to lose. Well – before we continue I should give you my answer, to avoid any wasted time. No, never in a million years will I join you." Shocked silence filled the room, it was at this moment Annicka pointedly met the gaze of Regulus Black. His face may have been hidden, but she recognized him, and now he knew it.

"You do realize that I am going to win," Voldemort stated confidently, "and when I do those who fight by my side will be rewarded. You could have influence and riches beyond imagining when I come to power."

"And how long would I be able to enjoy these generous gifts before you kill me for being a half-blood?" Annicka asked calmly like she was discussing the weather. "If you think that I don't know that is where this is going, then think again." Voldemort was about to speak when she continued, "It's no use threatening me or my friends. We all joined the Order fully aware that we may die, and we are all ready to die if it means stopping you."

"You cannot stop me, you and your friends are inconsequential," Voldemort stated, his voice rising in volume as he struggled to hold back his anger.

"If the order is so inconsequential then why do you need to spy on them?" she challenged. "You are a coward, through and through, you can't even admit when you're afraid." Her cheek stung and her head snapped to the side as Voldemort slapped her.

"I fear nothing!" he shouted at her. "I am the most powerful wizard of the age! I am beyond fear."

"You fear something," Annicka argued undeterred, "or you wouldn't need a spy. People only spy on things when they see them as a threat, and you only see something as a threat when you're afraid it can hurt you."

"This is your last chance," Voldemort hissed, "Join me or die!"

Annicka stood, facing death with dignity, "Never," she answered. "I am not afraid to die, can you say the same?"

Voldemort's face contorted in rage, he drew his sword, shouted "Avada Kedavra" and the Killing Curse his Annicka stopping her heart. She fell to the ground her eyes wide and vacant, lifeless. "Black," Voldemort called out to Regulus. He stepped forward until he was standing just behind the Dark Lord, "Make sure your brother receives the message."

"Yes, my Lord," Regulus agreed, waiting as Voldemort and the others left. When he was quite alone he finally allowed himself to show emotion, "I am so sorry," he apologized kneeling at her side. Regulus reached out and gently closed her eyes, and with her eyes closed she looked peaceful, almost like she was sleeping, and the sight of it almost killed him. "You always said that I had a choice, that regardless of the consequences I should do what is right. You were right," he confessed to the universe. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I promise you Annicka, I will do everything I can to stop him. I will finally do the right thing. I will finally be the friend you always deserved." Regulus took a deep steadying breath, burned the Dark Mark into the table and left.