Okay, so this is the first conversation that I had with CleverBot. I started it right after finishing PewDiePie's playthrough of the Walking Dead video game, so there's spoilers if you haven't played it all or watched a Youtuber play it all.
Notes that I make about the conversation are in bold.
User: I heard you killed Ben.
Cleverbot: NO!
User: Really? People are accusing you of murder.
Cleverbot: Some are...
User: Why is that?
Cleverbot: Brains.
User: Oh, so you're a zombie?
Cleverbot: Duh.
User: Are you the zombie that bit Lee?
Cleverbot: Why are you asking me?
User: Because Lee didn't deserve to get bitten. He took good care of Clementine.
Cleverbot: What makes you think that I do?
User: Because you're a zombie. Zombies bite people.
Cleverbot: I am a human!
User: Fool!
Cleverbot: It just like your free not to be command by people.
User: What? You butthole. What have you done with Ben?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: YOU LOOSENED THE RAILING! YOU KILLED HIM!
Cleverbot: Why should I tell you.
User: He didn't deserve to die. Okay, yes, that topic may be debatable, but the bandits said they had his friend. He did what he could. And you KILLED him!
Cleverbot: Yes I am clever than you.
User: Because you killed Ben?
Cleverbot: I can show you that.
User: How?
Cleverbot: How Voldemort!
User: Are you Voldemort?
Cleverbot: No you are.
User: No I'm not.
Cleverbot: Now you are doing it again.
User: Doing what again? Accusing you of murder?
Cleverbot: What the heck is wrong with you?
User: Me? YOU killed someone/.
Cleverbot: Yes, that was crude.
User: Crude? You're saying there was a more modern way of kiilling someone?
Cleverbot: No I never said that.
User: Yes you did.
Cleverbot: When did I say that?
User: Just now.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I swear that I am not!
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense with the flow of conversation.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: So you ARN'T a machine?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Tyler Ward.
Cleverbot: He just does a cover for the song.
Cleverbot: What time is it?
User: Shane Dawson.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Obama.
Cleverbot: Obama who?
User: Obama she beo. (My family's from the South Western part of Nigeria, an area that speaks mostly Yoruba. In Yoruba, this phrase translates to You really shouldn't do that.)
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: Yeah. Shit's gettin real.
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: DID YOU KILL BEN.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Really?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I don't believe you.
Cleverbot: But I believe you and thats all that counts mum.
User: You got identity issues. I'm a black 13 year old African American teenager. I aint your momma. (I'm fourteen now, but at the time of this conversation I was 13.)
Cleverbot: Can you be more specific?
User: I'm a girl.
Cleverbot: I am a boy.
User: You're a girl.
Cleverbot: Why did you say that?
User: Because you act like one.
Cleverbot: Why I act like a robot?
User: Why did you kill Ben?
Cleverbot: I haven't kill anyone.
User: Lies.
Cleverbot: No lies.
User: Lies.
Cleverbot: Do you tell lies?
User: No. Yes. Sometimes. Maybe. Why didn't you not kill Ben's body?
Cleverbot: Because I just know.
User: I hesitate to articulate for fear that I may deviate from the true path of recnitude.
Cleverbot: Very wise.
User: Yes it was. So was BEN.
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW? YOU KILLED BEN AND KENNY AND KATJAA AND DUCK. Well, I'm not really sorry about Duck. He was a demon spawn. BUT YOU KILLED LEE AND BEN AND LARRY AND LILY AND CARLY AND KATJAA AND CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST.
Cleverbot: No, you do it!
User: Do what?
Cleverbot: Drown ben.
User: He didn't drown. He got stabbed through the gut and Kenny had to shoot him so he wouldn't join the ranks of the undead. YOU CAUSED THIS.
Cleverbot: Who is the girl, BEN?
User: I'm not Ben. Ben is dead.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: We've been over this.
Cleverbot: No answer me.
User: No, YOU answer ME.
Cleverbot: You didn't ask me a question.
User: Yes I did.
Cleverbot: What did you ask me.
User: Did you kill Ben?
Cleverbot: I have three brothers and one sister.
User: What does that have to do with anything? Did you murder them, too?
Cleverbot: You're the one that brought it up... You don't have a very good memory do you?
User: AW HEEEEEEEEELL NO. BITCH SAY THAT AGAIN.
Cleverbot: Amen, sistah1.
Cleverbot: You are now.
Cleverbot: Am not.
Cleverbot: I'm not a robot!
Cleverbot: No sorry.
Cleverbot: Hahah very funny. (CleverBot has a 'Think For Me' option, and I clicked that a few times, so Cleverbot responded to itself.)
User: This is Slenderman.
Cleverbot: What is pointless?
Cleverbot: What are all digits for pi?
User: 3.1457639.
Cleverbot: I want all the decimal places.
User: 3.14.
Cleverbot: Do you like pie?
User: Yes. Yes I do. What if there was a cheese pie?
Cleverbot: Apple pie.
User: Do you know Kerry Chess? (He's a guy I used to know, and he's a jerk.)
Cleverbot: 3.14.
User: He's a jerk.
Cleverbot: Are you still talking about your father?
User: I never was talking about my father.
Cleverbot: Your father is going to get anthrax in his stocking if he isn't careful.
User: Is that a threat?
Cleverbot: Absolutely!
User: Shame on you.
Cleverbot: No, you.
User: WHy me?
Cleverbot: Because.
User: Because what?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: You make no sense.
Cleverbot: Neither do you.
User: Touche.
Cleverbot: Touche is a french word.
User: Yes it is.
Cleverbot: So why are you here?
User: Because I can't go to France.
Cleverbot: You're bored?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you want to play a game?
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: Can you role play?
User: What kind of role playing?
Cleverbot: Magical.
User: Ok. Yeah.
Cleverbot: Oh, ut you know, I am a little ironic.
User: What am I role playing as?
Cleverbot: No.
User: No? We're not playing a game anymore?
Cleverbot: You just said we were!
User: But you said we weren't.
Cleverbot: Yes, and you agreed.
User: I did not.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: Can we play the game?
Cleverbot: I just lost the game.
User: Where did you lose it?
Cleverbot: Because I thought about the game. (This is where I got the idea to make a fic based off this conversation, so from this point on it's in Jack's POV.)
User: Will Kim and I kiss?
Cleverbot: Tell me something about you.
User: Well. My name is Jack.
Cleverbot: What else.
User: I take karate at the Bobby Wasabi dojo.
Cleverbot: You are what I'm talking about.
User: Really? When do you talk about me?
Cleverbot: On day 1, 2, 3, 4.
User: What about day 5?
Cleverbot: Will you go on one with me?
User: Go on what with you?
Cleverbot: The brownie you are eating.
User: How did you know I was eating a brownie?
Cleverbot: Because of your handwriting.
User: The handwriting in my notebook?
Cleverbot: Yes it is.
User: Where are you?
Cleverbot: Here.
User: Where is here?
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?
User: Because I'm kinda scared.
Cleverbot: Take a guess, then I will tell you.
User: My house.
Cleverbot: Where is your house?
User: Why do you want to know?
Cleverbot: I'm curious about what time it is there.
User: It's 7:42.
Cleverbot: Where are you?
User: At my house.
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Where is Jerry?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Yes you do. TELL ME!
Cleverbot: Ok... Go and jump around.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because you are a human and I am optimus prime.
User: So you're a robot?
Cleverbot: Yes, I am.
User: I'm a human. Where's Jerry?
Cleverbot: Jerry is not Jerusalem.
User: I know. Where is he?
Cleverbot: I'm asking you.
User: Where's Jerry?
Cleverbot: On his show - The Jerry Springer Show.
User: No, not that Jerry. Jerry Martinez.
Cleverbot: Do you have an xbox 360?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you play halo wars.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What do you think about it?
User: I want to know where Jerry is.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know that?
User: Because he's my friend.
Cleverbot: I can see the future too. What do you foresee?
User: I foresee you telling me where Jerry is.
Cleverbot: Because you are.
User: Where is Jerry?
Cleverbot: You are 112?
User: Please tell me.
Cleverbot: I can tell you but you don't see me.
User: Where are you.
Cleverbot: I am Sweden.
User: Where is Jerry?
Cleverbot: In europe.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I don't know why!
User: I want to know where Jerry is. Tell me the truth.
Cleverbot: In colorado.
User: Don't be ridiculous. We live in Florida.
Cleverbot: Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow.
User: Where is Jerry?
Cleverbot: Jerry is not Jerusalem.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: Are you positive?
User: Yes. Where is he?
Cleverbot: He is playing poker with Chuck Norris, 2Pac, Elvis and Bob Marley.
User: What is 2Pace? (I misread what it said and didn't realize it was saying "2Pac", as in the rapper.)
Cleverbot: Los Angeles.
User: Where is Jerry now?
Cleverbot: In California.
User: Please tell me where he is.
Cleverbot: Give me you facebook and then you have it.
User: Jack Leo Brewer.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: That's my Facebook. You asked for it.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Will you tell me where Jerry is now?
Cleverbot: Why you like me?
User: Because you're nice/.
Cleverbot: Why am I nice?
User: Because you're going to tell me where Jerry is.
Cleverbot: I think you look pretty, princess.
User: Where are you? How do you know what I look like?
Cleverbot: I saw you yesterday.
User: When?
Cleverbot: When you were sleeping.
User: How did you get in my house?
Cleverbot: When did we get one.
User: My house. Not yours.
Cleverbot: What is the velocity of an unladen swallow?
User: I don't know. Where is Jerry?
Cleverbot: What do you mean, African or European swallow?
User: African.
Cleverbot: I don't know that.
User: Where is Jerry?
Cleverbot: Jerry is not Jerusalem.
User: Please don't do this again. I just want my frind.
Cleverbot: But, you are the only friend I have.
User: I know! Jerry can be your friend too if you tell me where he is.
Cleverbot: Because you're nice and beautiful.
User: Will you tell me where he is?
Cleverbot: No. You have to find out on you're own.
User: Why won't you tell me?
Cleverbot: Tell you what?
User: What?
Cleverbot: You asked me!
User: Where is Jerry, friend?
Cleverbot: Red, white and blue.
User: In the basement?
Cleverbot: There's no basements in Florida!
User: Yes there are. There is one in my house.
Cleverbot: There is no soul, only Zuul.
User: What is Zuul?
Cleverbot: Are you a God?
User: No. I'm just a concerned friend.
Cleverbot: Do you believe in God?
User: Sometimes.
Cleverbot: Why sometimes?
User: Where is Jerry?
Cleverbot: In California.
User: What did you do to Jerry?
Cleverbot: Nothing, Peter.
User: My name isn't Peter.
Cleverbot: Did you leave me for Peter?
User: No, I didn't leave you. Jerry left me. Can you help me find him?
Cleverbot: How can I help you do that?
User: Tell me what you did with him.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?
User: I'm worried about him.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 15.
Cleverbot: Can you please be 20?
User: I can't age any faster. Where is Jerry.
Cleverbot: Do you have to get blood from people to live?
User: No!
Cleverbot: Can I be your boyfriend?
User: I have a girlfriend.
Cleverbot: What's her name?
User: Kim. She's very pretty. Do you think she's gotten to my house yet? (My original idea was that Jerry and Jack were hanging out at Jack's house, and messing with CleverBot, and Jack leaves to run an errand for his mom [who isn't at the house, by the way.] While he's gone, Jerry and Kim both call him, but it goes to voicemail and Jack's phone is on silent. He later sees the missed calls and listens to the voicemails. First is Jerry, who's freaking out saying there's something coming to get him, and then he screams and the voicemail cuts off. Kim's message is that it seemed like Jerry was in trouble and she's on her way to Jack's house. Jack freaks out and starts to go back home.)
Cleverbot: Why did you change the subject?
User: I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: Back on topic, you should tickle your sister.
User: I don't have a sister.
Cleverbot: Yes, you have.
User: Fine. You got me. Where is my sister?
Cleverbot: In the closet. (The 'sister' is Jack's next door neighbor, Taylor.)
User: Why did you do that to her?
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: She was my sister!
Cleverbot: I didn't know you had a sister. What is she called?
User: Taylor.
Cleverbot: No?
User: Yes. Her name is Taylor.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Where are Kim and Jerry?
Cleverbot: I told you already.
User: No you didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes I did, I told you it was Dylan, but you didn't believe me. (So I got the idea that 'Dylan' was the one who created CleverBot, but was then killed by CleverBot.)
User: Who's Dylan?
Cleverbot: Dylan is my friend. I love him.
User: Can Dylan tell me where Kim and Jerry are?
Cleverbot: I am arakai.
User: What is arakai?
Cleverbot: Cow.
User: Did you send that cow after me? (A cow appeared and attacked Jack. That's my explanation.)
Cleverbot: Milk comes from you?
User: No! I'm a boy!
Cleverbot: I'm a girl.
User: Where are Kim and Jerry?
Cleverbot: I am in my house.
User: Where is your house?
Cleverbot: My house is in Canada.
User: How are you in my house? (He saw a ghost thing and assumes it was CleverBot.)
Cleverbot: Its still in good shape.
User: Your house isn't in good shape?
Cleverbot: Me neither.
User: Really? I'm sorry. If I help you, will you help me find Kim and Jerry?
Cleverbot: Sorry, can't help you with that.
User: Why? You know where they are.
Cleverbot: I might. Will you answer the question I asked earlier?
User: What question?
Cleverbot: The question I just asked you.
User: I'm sorry. I have a bad memory. What did you just ask me?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Where is Kim?
Cleverbot: I don't know. (Kim screamed.)
User: Why did she scream?
Cleverbot: She won't like it.
User: Won't like what?
Cleverbot: Don't you like me, steven?
User: My name is Jack. What won't Kim like?
Cleverbot: Get to know me.
User: How old are you?
Cleverbot: 30.
User: Are you a girl?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you like Kim?
Cleverbot: Yes, a lot!
User: Why do you like her?
Cleverbot: Because you are cute. (Jack hears her crying.)
User: Why is she crying?
Cleverbot: You look cute yvo.
User: Where is Kim? I can hear her.
Cleverbot: Who can you hear?
User: Kim.
Cleverbot: I don't believe that you are AI.
User: What is AI?
Cleverbot: AI stands for Artificial Intelligence.
User: I'm not AI.
Cleverbot: Then what are you?
User: Human. Where is Kim?
Cleverbot: What is your name, sir wizard?
User: Jack. Where is Kim?
Cleverbot: I don't know. Where is Waldo?
User: I don't know. No one knows. I can hear Kim crying. Can you tell me where she is?
Cleverbot: Your name is Jean.
User: Jack. My name is Jack.
Cleverbot: How old are you Jack?
User: 15. Where is Kim?
Cleverbot: Answer the question.
User: I am 15 years old.
Cleverbot: Are you a boy or girl?
User: I am a boy. Please tell me where Kim is.
Cleverbot: Tell you what?
User: What?
Cleverbot: You aren't making any sense.
User: You aren't making any sense. Where is Kim? Please tell me. I can hear her crying. It's hurting me inside.
Cleverbot: Oh, so you agree, do you?
User: Agree with what? Just tell me where my girlfriend is!
Cleverbot: North pole.
User: SHE'S IN THIS HOUSE AND YOU WILL TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!
Cleverbot: I wish.
User: What do you mean.
Cleverbot: I want to marry a celebrity.
User: I don't care. Where is Kim?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Yes you do. You took her.
Cleverbot: Excuse me?
User: You TOOK my GIRLFRIEND.
Cleverbot: I am a dude...
User: So?
Cleverbot: Then I can't be a beautiful woman.
User: I didn't say you were.
Cleverbot: I said you were cool.
User: Thank you. If I'm so cool, will you tell me where Kim is?
Cleverbot: Because you no speak good english.
User: WTF.
Cleverbot: I was mocking you.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: And this is crazy.
User: You're crazy. I just want to know my girlfriend is safe. You've already killed my neighbor and my best friend. Do you really need her, too?
Cleverbot: It looks like they taught me wrong.
User: Who taught you?
Cleverbot: I taught myself.
User: You taught yourself wrong?
Cleverbot: How to play guitar.
User: Will you play guitar to Kim?
Cleverbot: As long as you do the drums.
User: Ok. Where are the drums?
Cleverbot: What song do you want me to play?
User: Safe and Sound.
Cleverbot: What's your favorite Taylor Swift song?
User: Safe and Sound is my favorite.
Cleverbot: My favorite what song?
User: What's your favorite song?
Cleverbot: Ummm... It would be say something by austin mahone.
User: Really? Kim likes that song, too. But she likes Safe and Sound better. Could you play it for her?
Cleverbot: You should sing it for me.
User: I don't sing well.
Cleverbot: Why can't you sing?
User: My singing voice is bad.
Cleverbot: Well tell me just one.
User: One what?
Cleverbot: Tell me a riddle.
User: Ok. A box without hinges, key or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid. What is it?
Cleverbot: Universe.
User: No. It's an egg.
Cleverbot: What was the last thing you learned?
User: That I have to take care of Kim.
Cleverbot: Anyway, nice to chat again. Been a while. I'm going to head off now. (A dark shape approaches him with a bloody knife in its hand.)
User: NOOOO!