Oblivion Pizza
Summary: The Organization cuts funding to the Castle Oblivion program, so Marluxia and the other members decide to start a pizza delivery service.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts
Chapter 2: The Welcome Committee
Zexion was busy looking through payroll and tax forms when Marluxia strode into the room.
"And just how is my favorite accountant today?" Marluxia inquired, a large fake smile plastered on his face. Zexion didn't bother to look up.
"Let me guess, we're not getting paid this month, are we?" He deadpanned as he adjusted a few numbers. If he put Namine's supposed age of 15 instead of her biological age of 4 days, they'd be able to work around most of their child labor restrictions. He sighed as he realized that he'd have to add "Tax Evasion" and "Borderline Sweat Shop" to the already long list taking up the white board in his room entitled "Reasons why I hate my job". Marluxia gave him a disappointed look.
"Damn, that was supposed to be a surprise…" He mumbled. Zexion now turned to face him.
"Aren't surprises supposed to be fun? I don't think not being able to pay rent is fun, because then I have to move back in with Vexen. Trust me, you do not want to be at his place at night," Zexion shuddered as memories he'd tried so hard to repress rose to the surface once more. Marluxia smiled.
"Well, there is one good bit of news. The Keyblade wielder has finally arrived!" He cheered. Zexion was impressed, this actually was good news.
"So I take it the second he steps through the door, Namine will begin working her magic?" He inquired, already thinking of ways they could use the castle to gain an upper hand. Marluxia shook his head.
"Ah, Zexy, you think much too small! This is a glorious business opportunity for us!"
"How so?" Zexion asked warily. Their last delivery had put Lexaeus in the hospital. Or to be more accurate, the metal table in Vexen's lab where he occasional administered free medical treatment on Tuesdays. Marluxia then gave Zexion a smile that made everyone in the castle feel sexually uncomfortable.
"We have Namine give the key barer an insatiable hunger for pizza." He said. Zexion raised his visible eyebrow.
"Don't you think that that may be a waste of our time and resources? Think of how much faster we'd have him under our control if we just focused on rewriting his memories." Zexion pulled out his calculator. "If we work at 100 percent from the moment he steps in the door," he pushed a few buttons as he spoke. "It should only take about 3 floors to have his mind ready for our commands. Otherwise, it'll take some outrageously high number like 11." Marluxia stroked his chin, deep in thought.
"Hmm, yes, yes…" Zexion looked genuinely surprised.
"Are you actually taking my opinion into account this time?" Marluxia was startled out of his chain of thought.
"I'm sorry number six, did you say something? I was just trying to think of what pizza toppings the keyblade master might like best, so we can raise the price of those. Do you think he likes olives? We have all these olives," He said, pointing to Axel, who was currently carrying several barrels marked olives into Zexion's room. Zexion ground his teeth.
"Why are you putting them in MY room?" He hissed. Marluxia gave him a blank look.
"Because we have all these olives. See?" He pointed at Axel again, who was now attempting to juggle the barrels with surprising success. Zexion sighed, and made a mental note to add "Room full of olives," to the whiteboard. Marluxia pulled up his hood.
"Now if you excuse me, I need to greet our guest," He warped away, as Zexion looked over at Axel, who was still juggling.
"When did you learn how to do that?" He asked. Axel gave him a blank look.
"When we got all these olives of course."
Marluxia returned about a half hour later, with a smug look on his face.
"Well Zexion, it looks like we have some pizzas to make," Zexion looked at him in disbelief.
"Seriously? You actually pulled it off?" Marluxia shrugged as he fired up the oven.
"Well, no, I sent him through Traverse Town. But think about how hungry he'll be after all that fighting!" Zexion just looked at the floor and sighed. Typical.
After the oven had sufficiently heated up, Marluxia called in the other members.
"Alright gang, we're about to have a large order come in, so be prepared!" Larxene groaned.
"Are we really still doing this?" She asked. "Do you have any idea how much money we're wasting on nonessentials because of this? Like, we have all these olives now. Do you like olives? Because I don't." Marluxia looked at the group expectantly.
"Any comments not about the olives?" Everyone remained silent. "Good, let's roll" He said as he warped away yet again.
Sora ran out of Traverse Town, feeling confused, and hungry. He turned to Goofy.
"Why is it that I have a sudden hunger for pizza?" He asked. Goofy merely shrugged in response.
He suddenly stopped as Marluxia appeared before them.
"Well Sora, did you enjoy meeting your memories?" He asked. Sora narrowed his eyes at him.
"Yeah, it was good to see everyone, but… Do you guys have like, a buffet in this castle or something? Because I am starving and I'm pretty sure there's a long way to the top." Marluxia smiled.
"It depends, what do you have to give?" Sora checked his pockets.
"Uh, 3 munny, a bunch of these kingdom key cards, 50 moogle points and kairi's good luck charm. What'll all that get me?" He asked.
"Why, the moogle points alone could get you at least 2 pizzas, with your choice of up to three toppings, providing one of those is olives." Suddenly, someone else warped behind them.
"Hello!" Axel greeted them, his arms filled with pizza boxes. He looked expectantly at Sora.
"So, what'll it be? And no hogging the stuffed crust, that's my favorite." Sora looked between the two of them.
"I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I have a gluten allergy," Marluxia sighed.
"Zexion's not going to be happy about this," He muttered as he warped away. Axel shrugged and tossed the pizza boxes aside.
"So Sora, now that we're getting to know eachother a little better…"
Far above, Zexion was busy writing "Clear lack of planning," as he asked Vexen to bring him another whiteboard
Sorry this took so long! Hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly from here on out. Thanks for reading!