Chapter Three

She leans against the tree, relishing the warmth of the fall sunshine on her face. Her billowing skirts are spread out around her, a nest of lace and silk. Damon rests his head in her lap, his eyes closed as she runs her fingers lightly through his hair.

"That feels good." He murmurs. She loves him like this, looking relaxed, content. It is so rare for him to be so peaceful.

A storm cloud is quickly approaching, Elena nudges him. "We should go, it's about to rain."

He grasps her hand. "No it's not." He says, not opening his eyes. "Let's stay right here." He plants a soft kiss on the pulse point of her wrist.

Elena tries to relax again but all the while she can see the storm approaching, Damon still lays in her lap, his eyes closed. She hates to disturb him.

Wide drops begin to fall, slowly at first, then more and more. Elena opens her mouth to say something but she realizes it is not water falling from the sky, but blood.

"Damon!" She shakes him urgently.

His eyes snap open, looking right at her, "Katherine," he says, grinning.

Elena awakes with a start, her heart racing. She blinks a few times against the dim airplane lighting. Katherine is leaned back in the seat next to her, a copy of Vogue in her lap, smirking.

"You bitch." Elena spews acidly.

"I was bored, you were asleep," Katherine says, nonchalantly flipping a page of her magazine.

Elena leans her forehead against the window, trying to take deep breaths and hide the fact her fangs have revealed themselves in her anger. "Stay out of my head," she growls.

Katherine snorts. "Make me."

Without turning around, Elena reaches for her magazine, tearing it out of her hands and ripping it in half.

"Really mature, Elena," Katherine complains.

"Well that's the worst I can do to you without having to compel an entire plane of people."

"Pity."

"What happened to you to make you such a raging bitch?" Elena wonders loudly, still with her forehead propped against the window.

"Give it a few hundred years and you'll be just like me."

"Rose was older than you, she wasn't," Elena points out.

Katherine yanks the remnants of her magazine out of Elena's hand. "Rose got what was coming to her."

"If that was what Rose had coming to her, I want front row tickets when you die," Elena snaps.

"Get in line," Katherine quips, trying to organize the pages into something readable.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now descending into Los Angeles International, please make sure your tray tables are locked and your seats are in their full upright positions."

"Thank god," Katherine grumbles, "This much time in such close company with you makes me want to go on a killing spree."

"You're not the only one," Elena mutters under her breath.

After disembarking the plane, Katherine veers off to locate a car while Elena heads to the hospital to restock on blood bags. It doesn't take her long, so she sits on a bench outside, basking in the California sunlight and enjoying the few moments of Katherine free peace.

"Get in, I want to get to Sunnydale before tonight," Katherine commands, pulling up in a bright red BMW convertible.

Elena throws her bag in the back seat and climbs in. "I see we're going for inconspicuous," she remarks as Katherine lurches out of the parking lot.

"What can I say, I wanted a Porsche but I didn't have time to wait around for someone to compel," Katherine replies as she pulls erratically out of the parking lot, causing three people to slam on their breaks. Elena winces apologetically as the convertible accelerates past them.

"I've been thinking," she mentions, absently as Katherine turns onto the freeway. "And I think you might be right about Damon sire bonding to you."

"I'm always right," Katherine states, "Hold the wheel for me while I pull back my hair, would you?" She lets go without waiting for answer, Elena grabs the wheel just in time to keep the car from spinning into the next lane at eighty miles an hour.

"Must you?" She asks, Katherine doesn't bother to respond but takes back the wheel, her hair now piled on top of her head.

Hoping they make it to Sunnydale without injuring everyone else unfortunate enough to be on the road, Elena picks up the conversation where she left off, "Damon is never going to admit to it though. Not even if he has eternity."

Katherine pouts, "Given a few thousand years, I'm sure I could wear him down. It doesn't really matter though, the point was for you to see, not him."

"Why did his father hate him so much?" Elena asks hesitantly after a moment. She hates to broach the subject with Katherine of all people, but she wants answers.

"You picked up on that huh? What did Damon tell you?"

"Nothing. He was his usual evasive self when I asked," she huffs. "Somehow I think it would take another werewolf bite to really get anything out of him."

"Well you should always have a plan. Honestly though, I don't really know why. I don't think anyone does. But there's no denying it, Damon just never seemed to measure up to Stefan in his father's mind. The theory in town was that he took after his mother so much that Giuseppe couldn't stand it. She died when they were young, you know."

"Stefan told me. Childbirth right?"

"Yeah..." she trails off for a moment, "Poor woman. Married at fifteen, popped out kids until it killed her. I never met her but even I feel bad for her."

"Seriously?"

"I am capable of sympathy Elena, when I want to be. And if there was anyone who deserved some sympathy, it was her. Giuseppe Salvatore was not an easy man to live with."

"I got that impression."

"People in town used to gossip all the time. They said she was glad to die, just for the reprieve."

"That's harsh."

"Believe it or not Elena, some people are just rotten all the way through."

"I'm not defending him, especially not after what he did to Damon. I'm just saying everyone has something good in them. Even you."

Katherine chortles, "Don't try looking for any redeeming qualities in me, Elena. It's just insulting."

"That's funny. Isobel said something similar to me once."

"Yeah well she didn't have any either," Katherine says tartly.

"I think they were there," Elena protests, "I mean she felt so guilty she killed herself."

Katherine shakes her head, "What a waste. She was a hell of a lot of fun, even if she did betray me," she gives a half smirk, remembering something. "Damon certainly thought so too."

Elena blanches at the insinuation, "Pull over," she orders, "I need to vomit."

Katherine laughs but immediately swerves the car onto the side of the road and slams on the breaks when she realizes that Elena does in fact, look nauseous.

"I see I hit a sore spot." She remarks, as Elena opens the door of the car and puts her head between her legs. "I mean surely you knew about it."

"I did. Ages ago. But I'd forgotten." Elena says, taking deep breaths.

"It's not that big of a deal, Elena. It's before you ever met, you would have been a little kid at the time." Katherine comments off handily, "I mean it's not like Isobel raised you or anything, all she did was give birth to you," she grins maniacally, "I wonder if she still had the stretch marks..." Elena begins to heave up her last blood bag.

"Are you done?" Katherine grumbles after a moment, "I want to get to Sunnydale before nightfall, get a jump on all the other vampires."

Elena suddenly can't contain her rage anymore, she launches herself at Katherine, determined to cause harm in whatever way she can manage. She gets a few punches in before Katherine overpowers her, shoving her out the other side of the car.

"I'm older and stronger, and I always will be. Remember that." She says smirking as she pins her down, she gets up easily and strolls back to the car.

Elena props herself up on her elbow, wiping some blood from her mouth. She knows Damon is not a saint, she always has. And she for the most part can handle his history with Katherine, even with Caroline and Rebekah but the thinking about him and Isobel positively repulses her. Is this how he feels about her and Stefan she wonders? Or is the situation too different to make a comparison? Either way, it is not a conversation she wants to have with him. Ever.

"Still convinced I have a good side?" Katherine interrupts her thoughts.

Elena eyes her with loathing, "Ask me again when I'm not tempted to cut you to pieces and light you on fire."

"You know what your problem is, Elena?"

"No, but I'm sensing you're about to tell me." She retorts, easing herself up off the ground and back to the car.

"You trust too easily. You're always looking for someone's good side. You act like people are going to love you and offer to lay down their lives for you everywhere you go. I mean you hate me, you don't trust me, but deep down some part of you still doesn't want to believe I'd actually betray you."

Elena rolls her eyes. "I care too much. I get it. Spare me the lecture, would you? I'm tired and I've heard it before, you sound like Damon."

Katherine snorts, "Damon coddles you because he loves you and so did Stefan. Let me assure you, that was a luxury they never had. Giuseppe Salvatore was a terrible excuse for a man and he barely qualified as a father, but because of it, at least they learned how to survive."

"So I should be more like you then?" Elena questions, "Manipulating and double crossing people I claim to love? Feigning indifference in order to feel superior?"

"The last thing I want is for you to become me. You'd make me redundant," she says, pulling the car back onto the road.

"I've already made you redundant," Elena seethes.

"If you've made me redundant you'd be with them right now. Not with me. I'm not going to kill you Elena but let's get one thing straight, I am not your bodyguard. You put yourself in danger, you're on your own."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you Katherine."

"Good," Katherine says, "If you want to survive, you're going to have to find some hate and you're probably going to have to kill. You're a vampire, Elena, and they call it the Hellmouth for a reason."

Elena digs around her bag for her iPod, tired of Katherine's voice. She not sure if she should be grateful that Katherine hasn't left her on the side of the road or wishing she had. She is contemplating various new profanities to throw at her, when the car rounds a curve and Katherine slams on the breaks. In front of them, the road drops away into a giant crater that seems to stretch for several miles, a derelict "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign dangles precariously next to it.

The girls remain in the car for a moment, stunned.

"What. The. Hell." Katherine finally sputters. Elena takes the keys out of the ignition, not trusting Katherine won't drive off and leave her, and gets out of the car to look around. The crater is several miles deep, below she can see a variety of debris, pipes, and bits of wood.

"Giant sinkhole maybe?" She speculates. Katherine comes up next to her and peers over.

"On the Hellmouth? No. This was definitely supernatural."

"It looks like it's been this way for awhile, Katherine," Elena takes a step back from the edge and from Katherine, desperately wanting to push her in, but knowing she will only come to regret it.

She shocked to see Katherine actually looks disappointed as she peers down into the hole. "It could be. I haven't been here since 1993. Stefan said Spike was heading here later in the 90's."

"So he could be anywhere."

Katherine bites her lip. "Let's go back to LA," she glowers. "I know some people there. Maybe Caritas is still open," she speculates, "I need a drink."

Katherine sulks all the way back to LA while Elena drives. It is Friday night and downtown is packed with people streaming in and out of clubs, shouting, giggling, singing, flirting, tugging on their clothing. Elena puts the car into a parking garage and tries to focus her breaths, she's getting hungry and this many people in one place is still a struggle for her. Katherine leads her down several streets and up several alleyways, stopping finally at an abandoned building.

"It's still here," she says, relieved. "This is probably the best place in LA to get information. You're going to see a whole lot more than just vampires in here."

"What like werewolves?"

Katherine laughs, "There's a whole world more out there than just us Elena. I couldn't even name a fraction of all the kinds of demons that exist. Just don't attack anyone."

Elena eyes her, puzzled, "Excuse me?"

"There's a curse or a spell or something that physically keeps anyone from violence in there. It's meant to be like a sanctuary for demons." She holds the door open for Elena who follows, curious.

Katherine was not kidding about the demons, the place is packed with a variety of strange creatures, some with several heads, some with strange gills or discoloured skin who look they wandered off the set of a Star Wars movie.

Elena makes her way to the bar, wincing as a bright green demon on stage belts out a painful rendition of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way."

"What can I get you?" The bartender asks, he looks human but he has scales running up his arms. "Seabreeze, vodka tonic, toad heart, blood? Got a nice shipment in just the other day."

"Um, blood please?" Elena orders.

"Any particular kind?"

"Anything human." She stipulates.

The bartender hands Elena martin glass of blood with a pineapple garnish and a little umbrella in it. She feels a pang thinking about how much Caroline would love that.

Katherine surveys the crowd critically, a martini in her hand, trying to assess anyone who might be of value to them.

"Where do we start?" Elena asks, sipping the blood through the little straw. "Do you see anyone you know?"

"No. But until you showed up in Mystic Falls, I'd been in Europe for almost a decade. Anyone I knew is probably dead or moved on. Someone has to know something though. See if you can spot any other vampires."

Elena scans the room, seeing nothing resembling a human figure.

"You know what would be most useful?" Katherine states after a moment, "Is if you would sing."

"Why?" Elena, laughs, nearly spitting out her drink.

"There you go again, asking questions."

"Either I trust to thoroughly or I ask too many questions, you can't have it both ways Katherine," she complains.

Katherine turns to her, "I can have things any way I want them, Elena. It would help us because The Host is a demon who can tell people their futures. But they have to sing."

"Why don't you do it then?"

"I don't sing. I also don't have a sire bond to break." She gives Elena a little shove towards the front. "C'mon. You can't possibly be worse than that dude." She motions to the demon on stage who is grunting his way through "Oops I did it again."

Elena sighs and downs the rest of her drink. "Fine. But if this doesn't help me with the sire bond, I am stabbing you in your sleep."

Katherine sneers, "You are welcome to try."

Elena stumbles her way through the crowd up to the stage. "Do you think I could go next?" She asks the attendant managing the microphone.

"Sure thing. Don't see a whole lot of your kind 'round here anymore," he comments.

"What do you mean?"

"Humans just haven't come around much in the last few years."

"Oh, I'm not a human actually. I'm a vampire."

"You don't seem like one."

"Well I'm a little different."

The attendant shrugs, "Thought you lot were laying low."

Before Elena can ask any further, the performer ends his song on a particularly ear splitting note and the audience claps politely. Elena tells the attendant the song she wants and nervously takes the stage. She used to do this sometimes with Bonnie, who loved it, but at least then she had someone else with her. Now she is all alone on the stage in front of a crowd of strangers with fins and scales and multiple heads. It is like something straight out of a very strange dream.

The music comes up and she begins quietly "Come to me now, and lay your hands over me. Even if it's a lie, say it will be alright and I shall believe." At green demon with horns stops conversing with the bartender and turns around, watching her analytically.

"Open the door and show me your face tonight I know it's true no one heals me like you and you hold the key..." Elena sings with more conviction, it seems as if the entire bar has quieted, even Katherine is watching her intently rather than feigning her usual mask of indifferent. "Never again will I turn away from you. I'm so heavy tonight. But your love is alright. And I do believe that not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be..."

She raises her voice a bit "...it seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me. Please say, honestly you won't give up on me and I shall believe." She finishes delicately with a final "I shall believe." She smiles at the roaring applause, takes a short bow, and steps off the stage.

The green demon with the horns is waiting for her as soon as she descends the steps.

"That was one of the saddest performances I've seen in a long, long time, Elena Gilbert," he tells her.

"Are you The Host?" she asks.

"Or Lorne, I prefer the term The Host," he lowers his voice, "Too many Lorne Greene jokes if you catch my drift."

Elena nods as if she understands this, "I was told you could help me? I'm looking for someone."

"I can do a whole lot more than that honey. I'm an empath demon, when you sing, I feel everything you feel, I can see your past, and your future . Why don't you have a seat, Elena." He says, gesturing to an empty table in front of them and motioning for a drink.

"So what are you going to tell me?" Elena asks. "Can you tell me where to find this vampire?"

He ignores her question, "It's interesting, you have a number of paths in front of you, but they all lead to the same place."

"And where is that?"

"Now what would the fun be in telling you that?"

"I hate to be rude. But you kind of sound like every other fortune teller I've ever been to."

"Do you know what your greatest fear is Elena?"

"Spiders?" She guesses.

He shakes his head. "Her." He says cocking his head towards Katherine who is chatting with a bright blue demon at the bar. "The thing you fear most, the thing you always have feared most, is that you will become her, isn't it?"

Elena remains silent, considering this. A cocktail waiter arrives with another martini glass of blood for Elena.

As soon as she leaves, Lorne continues, "Now that you're a vampire you've convinced yourself it's inevitable. You hate yourself for loving them both because you're afraid you'll destroy them like she did and you can't stand the thought of hurting them. It's tragic."

Elena plays with her straw nervously, "I already hurt Stefan," she confesses.

"But you didn't do it on purpose. And the fact you feel terrible about it is proof right there that just because you have fangs and prefer blood to brownies now doesn't mean everything about you has changed."

"It sure feels like it has," she says quietly.

"The girl who you think died on that bridge isn't who you think she was. She was capable of so much more than you ever gave yourself credit for."

"Too late now," Elena shrugs.

"It's not too late at all. It's all still there, I can see it when you sing," he leans closer, "You listen to me Elena, there's darkness in you for sure, but there's also a lot more light and a hell of a lot of hope in you. You are not ever going to be her Elena, being a vampire doesn't define you, your choices do."

"Did I make the right one?" She says softly.

"Do you think you did?" He questions.

"Yes," she replies with conviction.

"Then you did. But I warn you, what you're looking for comes at a high price."

"How high?"

"I can't tell you that. But stay in LA a few days, take a load off. I believe the answers will present themselves."

"I don't have a lot of time."

"I know. But The Powers That Be move slowly. In the meantime, look to the past, look to his past too. There's answers there to questions you've never thought to ask."

"Lorne, we need you for the piano solo," a demon says, brushing past.

Lorne rolls his eyes, "Lister demons...I have to go. Good luck Elena Gilbert." He smiles thoughtfully, "You have a good heart, don't forget that."

Elena sits at the table for awhile, contemplating.

"So?" Katherine asks, plopping into the seat Lorne vacated.

"He was cryptic but he said to stick around a few days and look to my past. How am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know, do you have any traumatic childhood memories?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Are there any spells that can help recall stuff?"

"Probably. I think I know a witch around here somewhere, maybe you could go there."

"Did you find out anything?" Elena asks, stirring her blood absently with her straw.

"Not much," Katherine says, biting into her olive, "there was some kind of apocalypse brewing in Sunnydale and the Slayer avoided it by closing the Hellmouth. I'm assuming that is when they undid the magic that bound them to one girl at a time."

"And Spike?"

"Was definitely here after Sunnydale collapsed but no one has seen him in years."

"Bummer."

"Yeah, but at least he's probably alive, let's call it a night." Elena is more than pleased to head back to the hotel where she immediately locks herself in her room and enjoys the sheer lack of Katherine in it.

The following morning Katherine sets out to drum up some old acquaintances while Elena seeks out a witch she once knew.

"That's the thing about witches," Katherine tells her, "They tend to stick to the same spots. It's an energy thing. Even if they've moved on, I bet there's a different one there."

And sure enough, Elena finds a brightly coloured shop exactly where Katherine said it would be. Unlike the one in Brooklyn, this store is well lit, clean, and appears to sell a variety of books, herbs, and candles.

"What can I do for you?" A cheery man at the counter asks. His face darkens as he gets a good look at her. "Katherine Pierce," he says contemptuously.

Elena shakes her head, "I'm not her I swear. She just told me someone here might be able to help?"

"Katherine Pierce is no friend of mine, vampire."

"Trust me, she's not mine either."

He looks at her dubiously.

"I swear. Look, touch my hand, you'll see I'm not her, I'm not a threat to you. That's how it works right?"

The man takes one of her hands, he must have seen what he needed because he drops it. "What is it you need?"

"I want to see some repressed memories. Is there a spell that can bring those up?"

"There is. But I warn you, some memories bury themselves for a reason."

"I know. But I think I need to see them for a reason."

He leads her to the back room where there are several different coloured armchairs and a coffee table. He gestures for her to sit, and Elena perches herself on a soft red armchair and he sits down across from her. "I can do the magic but I warn you. This is not something to toy with."

"I understand."

"Come back in an hour then."

Elena shakes his hand. "Thank you."

He regards her grimly, "Wait to thank me until after." Elena spends the next hour wandering around a nearby park, contemplating. She isn't sure what will come up, nothing from her childhood strikes her as particularly awful. Recent events are more horrifying, but other than perhaps the night her parents died, she doesn't believe she has repressed them. When her hour is up, she walks back to the shop where the warlock lets her in and flips the sign on the window to closed.

The back room is now lit by the candles that are scattered all around it. On the coffee table, a variety of herbs are spread out, the furniture has been moved against the walls.

The man indicates where she should sit.

"It might be easier if you lie down," he hands her a couch cushion for her head. "What you need to do is relax and try to clear your mind. I will chant the incantation until I'm sure you're under and the memories that are important will return to you, starting with the earliest ones first. Depending on how many you have, it could take a few hours and you will eventually resurface on your own."

"Do people ever not resurface?"

"I have heard stories of humans with severe trauma who have not. Since you're a vampire, I do not anticipate that will happen but I hope you are ready for the emotional pain you're probably going to experience."

"I'm ready," she says with conviction. She wants some answers.

"Lay back and clear your mind."

Elena leans her head back on the cushion and tries to clear her head. He begins to chant.

She's sitting in a sandbox at her old day-care centre. Across from her, Bonnie is shovelling sand into a bucket with the intent only a three year old can muster. In the corner of her eye, on the swing set, she glimpses Caroline's blond head bobbing up and down, shrieking in delight as she climbs higher and higher. She looks down, and continues scrapping up some sand with her green shovel, she is about to dump it into the bucket when she is abruptly yanked up by her elbows from behind, spilling sand all over herself.

"Hey!" She cries out, kicking her feet and trying to figure out who has grabbed her. A hand covers her mouth. Her eyes dart back and forth, looking for a teacher. She kicks again, trying to move enough to get their attention but the teacher glances over her blankly, as if she isn't even there, and starts walking angrily towards Tyler Lockwood who is trying to make Matt eat sand. She continues to struggle as they haul her out of the centre, all of the other children and staff look right past them. As they reach the gate leading to the parking lot, Elena has a moment of hope. Vicky Donovan is sitting on one of the tricycles eating goldfish, she looks up, straight at her. Elena catches her eye, pleading. Her hope is quickly squashed, the person holding her shifts her, and bends down so they are eye level with Vicky.

"You didn't see anything." He says.

"I didn't see anything." Vicky repeats blankly. The man stands up, with Elena still pinned, and hauls her out to the parking lot. He opens the door to a van, plops her into a seat, and buckles her in. The door closes and the car starts. As the shock wears off and she begins to cry. She has never been treated so roughly, she wants her mother, the seatbelt is too tight and she has never ridden anywhere without a child's carseat.

"Make it stop crying!" The driver says from the front. There's a sigh and one of men turns to face her. He looks into her eyes.

"Stop crying and be quiet." He says. Elena stops crying but she is still afraid.

"What else do we have to do?" The man asks.

"Nothing. We deliver the doppelganger, Mikael lets us go." The two men fall silent and the car continues down a bumpy road. It seems like hours later but it is probably less than one when the van lurches to a sudden stop.

"What the—?" The driver says, opening the door and getting out, his partner in the passenger seat follows suit. There's the sound of a scuffle, some tearing and then a scream. In the back seat, Elena whimpers. She hears footsteps, someone opens the door to the van and sticks their head in. She screams at first, not wanting anyone to get near her.

"Elena," he says relived. Elena starts to realize she recognizes this man, this is her Uncle Jon. "Thank god!" He reaches over and unbuckles her, pulling her into his arms. "Don't worry, it's me, it's Uncle Jon. It's going to be okay." He reassures her, rubbing her back. "You're going to be okay."

"I want my mommy." She cries, clinging to him.

"Are you hurt? Did they hurt you?" He pulls back, examining her but does not see any blatant injuries. "Shhh, it's okay Elena. I'm taking you home right now." He carries her to his car and sets her in the backseat. "Are you hungry? I have some goldfish. Or some juice maybe?"

"Juice please." She says, still crying a little. He grabs a juice box from the front seat and helps her drink it.

Elena eyes him unnervingly as she sucks down her juice. He smoothes her hair back tenderly and offers her a few goldfish. She takes them eagerly.

"I'm going to take you home now, okay Elena? You'll see your mom soon."

He buckles her in gently and shuts the door. As he drives, Elena watches the world flying by out the window. It was just after snack time when they took her from the day-care centre, it is almost dark now. She watches out the window for awhile but soon the trauma and her lack of nap time catch up to her, she falls asleep.

When she wakes, Uncle Jon is gently lifting her out of the car. "Easy there," he tells her. "It's alright. You're home now."

He carries her up to the front door and enters the house.

"Jon?" Her mother comes rushing towards her. "Oh thank god!" She cries as she sees Elena in his arms. "Is she alright? Are you alright honey? Come here." Elena finds herself eased into her mother's arms, her mother rocks her gently. "It's okay honey, I'm here now." Her mother holds her close, examining her for injuries.

"She's alright Miranda. Just shaken up. Where is Gray?"

"He and Liz Forbes went out to check the caves by the lake. I'll call the sheriff's department and tell them you found her. What happened Jon?" She asks, still holding her daughter tightly as she heads into the kitchen. Jeremy is bouncing in his baby swing while Caroline sits at the table colouring.

"I tracked them about halfway out to Lovingston, I think they were probably heading towards the Appalachians. Abby is luring the other," he lowers his voice, "vampire out of town?"

"She's trying." Miranda responds, she motions her head towards Caroline, "Bill is out of town and Liz understandably didn't want to leave her with a sitter."

"Elena!" Caroline exclaims, seeing her friend has arrived. "Colour!"

"Elena isn't feeling very well right now Caroline, can you colour by yourself for a little while?" Miranda says, shifting Elena on one hip as she dials the police station.

Caroline pouts. "How about I colour with you instead?" Jon volunteers.

Caroline eyes him warily and pushes over a colouring sheet. "Barbie's dress is purple," she orders, as if daring him to colour it anything else. Jon obediently reaches for the purple crayon.

Elena leans her head on her mother's shoulder, dozing as she makes her phone call and moves around the kitchen. She hasn't been carried around like this since Jeremy was born and she wasn't the baby anymore. She lifts her head when she hears her father's voice.

"Jon, you found her! Is she alright?" Her father asks, taking her out of her mother's arms.

"She's been unusually quiet," Miranda remarks, worriedly.

"That's normal in this circumstance," he comments, examining her, "Are you alright, peanut?" He asks. "Does anything hurt?"

Elena shakes her head no. He father examines her pupils and checks her over for bruises. "I think she's okay, physically at least. Elena, are you hungry sweetie?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's put your pjs on and get you something to eat." He lifts her up. Elena snuggles herself against him.

"I should head out. I need to go deal with the—" Jon eyes the children, "the remnants of what transpired."

"Thank you," Miranda tells him, her voice cracking. "For bringing her home."

"Would you like me to come with you Jon?" Her father asks, Elena can feel his voice reverberating through his chest.

"No, you have your hands full here. Call me when you hear from Abby alight?"

"You should at least take someone with you," her father insists, "Liz got stuck on duty for the rest of the night, see if she can go with you."

"I will, thank you." Jon gives sad smile and leans over to kiss the top of Elena's head, and gently smoothes her hair. "Good night." He says, there's a haunted look in his eyes as they meet her own.

Elena struggles as the car fills with water, in front of her, her father thrashes trying to get out while her mother lays motionless. She tugs and tugs on her seatbelt but it will not give, panicking, she inhales a mouthful of water. She continues to struggle but her eyes and throat are burning, her vision starts to blur. A pair of arms wraps around her and she passes out. The next thing she knows she is laying on her side on the top of the bridge vomiting up mouthfuls of water. A boy, dripping wet is kneeling next to her, his eyes boring into her with a mixture of love and loathing. She blinks and he is gone.

Aunt Jenna's stricken face is illuminated by the torches while Klaus drags her away. Elena throws herself towards them, but she is bound by the witches spell, she screams, unable to do anything as Klaus raises the stake and brings it down into her beloved Aunt's sternum, throwing his head back as the power washes over him.

Stefan is coming at her, snarling, she tries to run but she trips and there is nothing but pain as he bites into her neck. She struggles, begging him to return to the Stefan she knows. But it is useless, she is helpless and the boy who loved her, who saved her, who would do anything for her, is gone. She resigns herself to the fact these may well be her last moments. She worries about Jeremy, who is going to be alone in the world now, she wonders if Damon will kill Stefan over this, even in this dying moment, she hopes he won't do it.

"Stop now Stefan." Klaus orders. Stefan drops her like a hot poker, Elena collapses onto the floor into a heap. She lies there, feeling stupid, helpless and abandoned by everyone she loves. She can see Klaus's shoes, moving towards her across the tile floor, he stops right in front of her. She gulps. Perhaps he will be merciful and kill her himself.

"Have you learned your lesson about trying to cross me, love?" He asks. He lifts her up into his arms and she is powerless to protest. "Come now, I need a bit more blood from you if you want your friend Tyler to last the night."

She is sitting in her dimly lit bedroom, Damon is sitting on the window seat, Stefan is sitting next to her on the bed. Stefan is looking at her with something wild in his eyes, Damon won't look at her at all.

"I thought that I...how did you?" She asks, trying to make sense of her accident.

"Save you?" Damon replies acidly, "He didn't," his voice is filled with grief.

Stefan tries to explain calmly, but there is an edge in his voice, "When Jeremy brought you into the hospital earlier, your injuries worse than anyone knew. Meredith Fell made a choice. She used Damon's blood to heal you."

"And when Rebekah ran Matt's truck off the road, you had vampire blood in your system," Damon adds.

"Does that mean that I..? Am I dead?" She can't be dead. She can't be. This is a nightmare. She is eighteen years old. She can't be a vampire. If she's a vampire that means she died. If she's a vampire that means she will be like her.

She looks from one brother to the other; neither of them can meet her eyes. The truth hits her like a punch in the face. She is dead. She is eighteen years old and she is dead. "No, no, no, no!"

Elena's eyes snap open. She finds herself back on the floor of the little office, tears streaming down her face. The warlock regards her kindly.

"That was quicker than I thought it would be." He offers her a tissue and sits quietly as she sobs.

"I um...I'm sorry I just—my emotions are heighted right now. Oh god I sound like Stefan—" she bursts into another round of sobs as she tries to balance the hurt of remembering him attack her and the guilt she feels for breaking his heart.

"Take your time," the warlock says. "Your reaction is perfectly normal."

"It was like reliving all my worst nightmares."

"Were there any memories completely unfamiliar to you?"

"Just one. I was abducted as a little kid."

"How horrible."

"Compared to the rest of them, it was nice," Elena dabs her eyes. "My parents died a few years ago, at least I was able to see them alive again for a few minutes." She stands up, opening her purse. "How much do I owe you?"

He waves a hand, "When I touched you I saw you were friends with a Bennett witch. That is how I knew I could trust you. I do not require anything from you but a promise you stand will stand by her."

"Of course."

"It is very rare that vampires and witches get along."

"Bonnie and I have been friends since birth practically."

His lips turn up into a smile, "You have caught me by surprise, I forget sometimes, that vampires are not always the way they are. It was a pleasure meeting you Miss Gilbert."

"Thank you Mr...?"

"Barnes."

Elena shakes his hand. "Thank you Mr. Barnes."

She has a list from Katherine of potential vampire spots to hit up for information, but she feels too emotionally exhausted to talk to anyone. Instead, she returns to their hotel, purchases herself a pair tennis shoes and some work out attire at the hotel gift shop and hits the gym. Alaric taught her the basics of using the punching bag but she hasn't attempted it since she was turned. Now, more than ever before, she wants to feel as if she can fight. More than anything the memories she brought up made her feel powerless, not in a sense of letting someone else handle everything but in a sense of being completely and utterly unable to do anything. She locates a room with a punching bag in the back and she kicks and punches with all the energy she can muster, wishing she could do this to Katherine, to the stupid sire bond, to Klaus. Finally, after what seems like hours she sinks to the ground in exhausted tears, her knuckles raw and bloody. She drags herself back upstairs, into her room, her shower, her pyjamas, and finally into bed where she walls into a deep sleep. For once, her dreams are peaceful.

It's early morning, she leans her elbows on the balcony, staring out at the ocean. She can feel a hint of a soft breeze, the sensation of her bare feet on the cool patio tile. The pink of the light casts a glow over everything. Every few minutes on the horizon, she sees the flash of a whale's tail before it is gone again.

" 'She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together,' " Damon remarks.

Elena turns around, Damon is leaning in the doorway, cupping a mug of coffee in one hand, watching her.

"It's Salinger," he explains.

Elena laughs, "You do love your Salinger, don't you?"

"Seemed appropriate."

"Come watch the whales with me," she tells him. Damon sets down his coffee and comes up next to her. "See?" She points to a splash on the horizon.

"Where?"

"Look towards that tree there." She points a tree near the shoreline. "And look straight ahead, see it?"

Instead he turns to face her, amused. "What?" She asks.

He brushes a strand of hair out of her face. "Nothing."He says, smiling.

He turns back to face the ocean, slipping an arm around her waist, and they stand there together, barefoot in the sunlight, watching the whales.

A/N: The song Elena sings at Caritas is "I Shall Believe" the lyrics belong to Sheryl Crow and Bill Bottrell. It's a great song, I recommend it. Thanks for reading!