Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! They really help me to get through and keep writing. This is most likely the last chapter for this year. I may finish another small one like this, but I'm not sure. I hope you enjoy the little bit a Buffy/Dean there at the beginning : ) Please let me know what you think!

"It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault."

Buffy shot upright in her bed, her breath ragged and sheets twisted around her legs, trapping her in place. She had had a dream, nightmare, again. The same one she had had last night. That probably meant that it was important. Damn.

She pulled her legs from the twisted sheets and reached over to her phone, checking the time. Three o'clock in the morning. That meant she had only been asleep for two hours. The room she was staying in at Bobby's house was dark, but without difficulty or light, she threw on her comfy flannel pants and slipped out of the room, heading to the kitchen. She knew it was pointless to try and go back to sleep after this, so she opted to settle her mind with a cup of the tea the old Hunter kept stashed in the back of his cabinets. Walking quietly past the open doors to the living room where the Winchester brothers were sleeping, Buffy flicked on the dim light above the stove and started to boil some water. The house was quiet, but there was still the hum of life all around her coming from the old dinosaur of a fridge Bobby still had, late night travelers cruising down the highway just beyond the yard and the restless chirping of crickets.

She was reaching for a mug when she sensed that someone was there behind her. She knew it couldn't be Bobby; he wasn't stupid enough to try and sneak up on her. That meant it was one of the Winchesters and she already had a good idea of which one. She finished pouring her tea before speaking.

"Hey, Dean," She said, not even bothering to turn around. She heard him stop and she turned around, mug in hand and a smirk on her face. But the smirk quickly disappeared when saw him. He was shirtless and barefoot, in nothing more than a pair worn jeans that hung low on his hips. All thought and, apparently, motor function left her as she stared at his chiseled body. Even in the dim light, she could make out every plane and angle and it made her flush, as she felt her own long-dead libido leap to life like the flames of a wildfire. She lifted her eyes to his face and saw him smirking at her. She grabbed the dish towel on the countertop next to her and threw it, hard, though even with her superhuman strength, it had little impact.

"How'd you know it was me?" Dean asked, coming over to her and looking into the cup she held in her left hand. He frowned when he saw just tea.

"You're the only who's ignorant enough to try and sneak up on a Slayer," Buffy said simply ,as she added a heaping spoonful of honey to her cup. She tried to keep her eyes averted from gawking at Dean but wasn't completely successful as she watched him open the fridge and retrieve a beer.

"That hurts, kitten," Dean replied after a long drag on the bottle. The two of them stood there in the kitchen, neither speaking for several minutes. Buffy peeped at him again over the rim of her cup and this time she started to notice that besides looking incredible sexy, he also looked incredibly tired. His eyes were bloodshot and there seemed to be bags under his eyes. She wondered if he was getting any sleep.

"Can't sleep?" Buffy asked him. She knew it couldn't be easy, though he was handling it better than she had. Of course, hers hadn't been the work of God either. But did that really matter? Why or how you were suddenly thrust into a different fate and expected to act as you once were. "I know we don't really know each other or anything. But if you want to talk, I'm here."

"I'm fine," He said, though he didn't completely look it. "Just too much caffeine. What about you? Why are you sneaking around the kitchen at 3 something in the morning?"

She was silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts and feelings. Her mind didn't want to recall the agonizing details of her dream and she felt her breath quicken at just the thought.

"Nightmare," She said, simply and quietly. A long pause and then she continued, hoping that if she opened up, maybe he would as well. "I was in my old High School, back in Sunnydale. I was in the library but the library was really a graveyard. And I was confronted by a friend, who kept saying it was all my fault that she had died. Over and over again. It didn't matter how much I ran, she was always there. And she was right. It was my fault she was murdered. I didn't do…"

She stopped, not wanting to remember anymore. So much Slayer blood stained her hands, but she had been the first.

"I haven't thought about her in a long time," Buffy said, finally. "And then last night and tonight I dreamed about her, and others, whose blood was on my hands."

"You can't live the life we do, and not get your hands dirty," He said, looking up at her, his green eyes soft and understanding. It was the first time he had looked at her without anger, lust or fear. She gave him a small smile and a sad nod of her head as reply. "You save who can and hope that in the end, it's enough."

"Thanks, Dean. That was rather nice of you to say." Buffy walked over to the sink and put her now empty mug inside. She actually felt a little more settled since talking to him. Walking over to him, she stopped in front of him, not sure what to say. He looked down at her and she felt the magnetic pull that seemed to radiate from him. It pulled her, made her want things she thought she had moved past. He put his large, warm hand to her cheek, the thumb almost grazing her lips.

"Remember the ones you saved, not the ones you couldn't," He said in a husky whisper. The lust was back in his eyes and she knew it was there in hers as well. Was it just her, or was room unbearably warm?

Suddenly, the lights overhead flooded on and a deep voice, rough with sleep, startled them apart.

"Dean?" Sam said groggily. "Buffy? What are y'all doing in here?"

"Couldn't sleep. Came for another nightcap." Dean answered and Buffy nodded. She stepped away from Dean and looked at Sam.

"Back to bed. I'll see ya later," Buffy said, and quickly walked back to her room and climbed to bed. Her cheek was still warm where he had touched her and found that she was indeed tired. She closed her eyes and went to sleep, dreaming dreams of a much more exciting nature.

XXXXXX

Buffy wrinkled her nose as a cloud of dust rose from the heavy, ancient tome she had just opened. They were all back at Bobby's den, looking through book after book for any information they could find on angels. It was three days after that night in the warehouse where they had conjured Castiel and found out that a real angel of the Lord had pulled Dean from the nightmare of Hell. It was still a lot to believe, even for three seasoned Hunters and a Slayer. But Sam, who had made it back to the room first, frantic with worry when he saw the state of it, had been the first to believe it. And now, after days of looking, Buffy was starting to believe, too. Dean seemed to be the only one still fighting against the idea.

"Well, then tell me what else it could be," Sam said, annoyance lacing his voice and making it sound harsh. He was sitting in a chair, a large book also in his lap. Dean was standing next to him, his own book forgotten as he paced the room.

"Look, all I know is I was not groped by an angel," Dean replied,exasperated.

"Ok, look, Dean. Why do you think this Castiel would lie to you about it?" Sam said, trying to talk calmly and rationally, as though with a young child. Buffy wondered if he knew he was talking to his brother, the one who didn't seem to know what calmly and rationally meant.

"Maybe he's some kind of demon. Demons lie," Dean replied, and Buffy sighed. They had been going round and round on this for three days. While she still had a healthy dose of skepticism on who or what exactly Castiel was, Dean simply refused to believe it. Stubborn did not even begin to describe him, it seemed.

"A demon who's immune to salt rounds and devil's traps... and Ruby's knife? Dean, Lilith is scared of that thing!" Sam said, his patience gone again, but something he said caught the Slayer's attention, and she set aside her book and looked at him.

"Wait," Buffy said, standing and walking over to the two men. She tried to keep her voice cool and her body loose, but inside she was on edge. "You said she's scared of this Castiel? How do you know Lilith is scared of this thing? This the same Lilith who killed your brother?"

Dean turned and stared at her, but she ignored him and stood in front of Sam, who was a great deal taller than herself as he looked down at her. The two of them regarded each other, Dean watching his brother.

"Now that you mention, it Buffy, that is a good question. Sam?" Dean said, himself becoming tense. Buffy could see Bobby stand up from his desk across the room. Her eyes turned back to Sam as she saw him start to fidget under the glares of the three of them.

"Alright, look," Sam began, as he walked to the middle of the room, placing some distance between the Slayer and himself. "That night, I went back to the diner to exorcise the demons there. But two of them were already dead and the other one that was there, the waitress, she told me that even Lilith was scared of this thing. So I pulled the demon out of her but she didn't make it. And get this, all of them had their eyes burned out, just like Pam."

"What the Hell were you thinking! Going back there by yourself!" Dean yelled. "It's a fucking miracle you are still alive. Don't do crap like that without telling me, you hear?!"

"If we could put this little family feud on hold for a moment and come look at this. I got stacks of lore- Biblical, pre-Biblical. Hell, some of it's damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit," Bobby said, pulling all the attention to himself.

"What else?" Buffy asked, not forgetting about Sam but knowing this was even more important.

"What else, nothing. I'm paraphrasing here, but 'Only a true Warrior of Ehyeh in his pure form can walk the lake of fire unharmed and if he has the Blessing of Ehyeh, may return a mortal soul to his grace."

"What the hell is it talking about, pure form?" Dean asked.

"It says that the true body of an Angel cannot be seen by human eyes or heard by human ears. Only in a vessel can they walk free among us," Bobby replied, still scanning the fragile yellow page.

"Vessel? So what? They have to posses a body?" Sam asked.

"No," Bobby said, slowly. "Not just anybody. It must be a vessel, only the chosen can be vessels, they must pray and allow the angel into their body."

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean asked.

"It means, you have to give permission to let them use your meat suit."

"Oh, that's just dandy of them, isn't it," Dean replied sarcastically. "Don't you think that if angels were real, that some hunter somewhere would have seen one... at some point... Ever?"

"Yeah, one did, Dean," Sam said. "You."

"I'm trying to come up with a theory here. Okay? Work with me."

"Dean, if there can be demons, vampires, werewolves and any number of the other crazy shit I'm sure we've all seen, why can't there angels?" Buffy asked. That seemed to stop and make him think.

"Because, if I believe that angels do exist, does that mean God does too? And if, say he does, why would he give a crap about me? I'm just a regular guy. Sure I've saved a few people, figures that cancels out the stealing and ditching girls. But why me? Why not any of the other thousands of souls in Hell right now? What is so damn special about me?"

Buffy looked at him and saw the confusion plain on his face. It troubled her ,too. Fate was a ruthless bitch as far as she was concerned. She made some people give everything, took them to the brink and asked for more. Yet others never saw the hand of Fate in their lives, they lived them as they pleased and went peacefully in their old age. But she could still remember the peace and contentment she had felt when she had been in Heaven, even after all other memories of it had faded; she still held tightly to that.

"Apparently, you're a regular guy that's important to the man upstairs," Sam said to his brother.

"Well, that creeps me out. I mean, I don't like getting singled out at birthday parties, much less by... God." Dean shook himself. "So what do know about angels?"

"What do you think we've been trying to do you idjit. Keep reading!" Bobby grumbled, and went back to the stack of books on his desk. Buffy smiled at his show. It was good to be with a group again, it made her miss her friends back in L.A.

Thinking of her friends, she remembered that it had been a couple of days since she had checked in with them. She grabbed her phone and noticed a message from Willow. She held the phone up to her ear and listened.

"Hey, Buff, listen. Something happened to Olivia over in Minneapolis. I've been trying to get a hold of her about this angel Castiel stuff, but last night I felt her die. Can you go check on it? She's about six hours from Bobby's house there in Sioux Falls. Let me know what you find out. There was some powerful energy worked in the area the day before yesterday, so be careful Love ya."

Buffy hung up the phone. That was when her dreams about Kendra had started. Her gut told her this wasn't a coincidence. Something was starting, she just didn't know what it was.