A/N: When I watch Natural Born Killers it affects my muse - my apologies in advance - Gemma.
Chapter 7
The Family Feud logo appears and Ryan Seacrest takes his position center stage. On either side of him the families are lined up at their respective podiums.
"Welcome back to Vampire Family Feud," Ryan says forcing a smile. "We've got a great game today between The Lost Boys and The Petrova-Salvatore Family."
The audience cheers loudly.
"Damon – Dwayne, let's play the Feud!" the hosts waves the pair of vampires to the podium. Damon and Dwayne both walk to the center in silent animosity.
"I know this may seem like deja vous for some of you," Ryan explains. "But in light of a ruling from our executive producers – we are replaying the last question. It seems substitutions are only permissible when a family member is no longer capable of playing – not because they anger the host," he glares at the two vampires in front of him.
"So without further delay, let's just get this over with," Ryan pulls out a cue card. "One hundred humans surveyed, top six answers on the board."
The camera pans up to the board where the six answers are covered.
"Name a reason a man would put on make-up."
Both Damon and Dwayne lift their hands to their respective buzzers, but then hesitate. Their hands dangle in mid-air.
"What the hell kind of a question is that?" Damon scoffs.
Dwayne replaces his hand on the podium and looks to his team for help. The Lost Boys shrug cluelessly. Even Max seems puzzled by such a strange question.
The moments tick by and neither vampire rings in to answer. Ryan folds the cue card against his nose and sighs heavily. "Will one of you PLEASE at least take a guess?"
Dwayne shrugs his shoulders and taps the buzzer.
"Yes, Dwayne?" Ryan says tiredly.
"Because he has a small….," Dwayne begins to say but his words are cut off as Damon reaches over the podium to strangle him.
Dwayne swings his far arm and it connects with Damon. With loud growls the pair attack each other. Clothes are torn as nails dig into flesh, sending sprays of blood across the stage.
"FIGHT!"
"FIGHT!"
"FIGHT!"
The audience chants as they get up on their feet. Hands clap to the beat as they show their support – because – well – who doesn't love a good fight between rival vampires?
Without a second thought, Stefan rushes into the mix to help his big brother. He grabs Dwayne and throws him backward.
That same instant Paul and Marko spring forward with fangs bared. Marko slices into Damon's back tearing a wide gash that exposes white hues of bone. Damon screams in pain and whirls around, he sinks his teeth into the first thing he can – Marko's glorious jacket – and rips its seam.
"My jacket!" Marko breaks away, examining the damage to his most precious possession.
Stefan senses Paul coming and is ready when he attacks. He doesn't sense David though and is taken completely by surprise as the platinum blonde gauges open his midsection. Stefan drops to the ground, writhing in pain.
"Stefan!" Elena screams. Tears stream from her eyes. "You have to do something," she begs Katherine.
Katherine looks at her tiredly. "No," she tells the weeping girl.
"Caroline," Elena sobs. "Help him, please."
Caroline nods shakily and morphs into a creature of the night. Blackened veins snake down her pale cheeks as pearly canines descend from her gum line. She leaps into the sea of males in attempt to save Stefan.
David catches her mid-air. Together they spin like a tornado up into the rafters. As they slam into the fluorescent lights, the bulbs shatter and rain down upon the others. Caroline whimpers as David squeezes her arms; pressing her into the metal beams.
"Please, don't hurt me," she pleads.
David loosens his grip and smiles tenderly. "Want to go for a ride?" he asks her.
Below them, Marko has shredded nearly every garment Damon was wearing. The vampire is left shirtless with only the remnants of his jeans covering the Salvatore Family Jewels.
Stefan fairs no better as Paul and Dwayne take turns stabbing him with the pins used to fasten their name tags to their shirts.
"Stop it!" Elena screams. She rushes to Stefan's rescue grabbing a handful of Paul's teased hair and pulling it as hard as she can.
Katherine rolls her eyes at Elena's effort.
"BOYS!" Max yells as he paces back and forth, like an impatient coach during the NCAA tournament. "BEHAVE!" he growls. The Boys, as usual, do not listen to him.
The first few rows of the audience cover themselves with a tarp as the blood continues to fly. Their cheers are now deafening as the vampires tear each other apart.
Paul laughs as he reaches behind his head and single-handedly flips Elena into his lap. Elena screams and punches him, but it does no good. She knows she's not hurting him.
Stefan seeing Elena's plight, tries desperately to save her from Paul – but Dwayne holds him down, crushing his skull between the stage floor and the sole of his boot.
The camera pans to Ryan Seacrest. He stands behind the podium, taking dainty sips from a thermos paying little attention to the mess around him. Overhead the lights crackle as sparks shoot downward in a reverse fireworks display.
"Mr. Seacrest," his assistant says timidly as he watches the bloodbath around him. "Do you want me to call security?"
"I already called," Ryan informs him. "They're on their way."
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OUTSIDE IN THE PARKING LOT
"Weapons check!" the boy with the red bandana says to his brother. He spins around allowing the other boy to take a quick inventory of the items on his back.
Beside them, a pair of BMX bikes are fastened with lock and chain to rack.
"Now check me," the boy with the dog-tags hanging from his neck says. He too, does a 180 letting his brother frisk his backpack.
In the distance, a dark haired boy wearing a red Mystic Falls varsity jacket gets out of a black Mustang. A dark skinned girl is with him.
"This is the address Damon gave me," he tells her.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asks him.
He nods yes.
The boy with the red bandana stops checking his brother's weapons. "Alan," he hisses softly. "Werewolf, on your six."
"What?" Alan spins around – catching a glimpse of Tyler Lockwood. "Shit!" he curses. "There were only supposed to be vampires."
"Don't tell me you left the silver bullets back at home," Edgar patronizes.
Alan looks up at the starlit sky. "Full moon's not until tomorrow."
"Then we have some time." Edgar's jaw sets firmly. "Now let's go kill some Suck Monkeys!"
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INSIDE THE STUDIO
Katherine frowns as Stefan and Damon are clearly getting their asses kicked. She knows that Stefan isn't as strong as he should be – with his diet of bunnies and hamsters. And while Damon should be able to hold his own against another vampire – apparently he hit a nerve when he messed with the beaded atrocity that Marko holds so dear.
She really didn't want to get involved, but of course she knew she would. They were her Achilles heel and she knew someday they'd be the death of her.
She takes a few leisurely steps toward center stage, licking her lips ass she passed Ryan's assistant (aka midnight snack). When she's in plain view of all the boys, she folds her lip up between her teeth and lets out a sharp, shrill whistle.
All the vampires stop in their tracks and turn to look at her.
"Enough," she tells them as she lowers her gaze. Her stare pierces through each of them, and they follow her eyes as though they're in a trace.
There is a loud bang.
In the rear of the auditorium, a door slams open and in runs a pair of fatigue-clad teens with Super Soakers. They run forward at full speed. Water shoots from the barrels of their guns at least ten yards ahead of them.
As drops land on The Lost Boys – they dissolve vampire flesh with acid-like speed. Paul, Dwayne and Marko cry out in pain. They recoil to safety behind the set.
Edgar and Alan leap onstage, saturating Stefan and Damon. Who, aside from getting wet, have no reaction to the Holy Water.
"It's not working," Alan yells.
"SHIT!" Edgar responds. He aims his gun at Katherine and Ryan, soaking both of them.
Katherine's head bows as she observes her drenched clothing. When she meets eyes with the boys, her fangs descend and she snarls. In one leap, she pins both boys to the floor.
"Which one of you wants to die first?" she asks them.
"Me and my brother will kill you, you filthy blood sucker," Edger spits at her.
"Yeah, death breath," Alan adds.
"Wait a minute," Katherine sits back on her heels, fangs disappearing. "Did you say you were brothers?" she asks with a seductive smile.
Never fear there's more Feud to come...