Chapter Four

"NO!" Ryan shouts again stomping his foot on the set floor angrily. "HE," an accusing finger points Klaus's way. "Cannot be here."

"Actually he can," Simon Cowell tells Ryan. "It's an open taping and as you can see," he gestures to the plethora of empty seats in the auditorium. "It's not sold out."

"This is a BREACH OF CONTRACT!" Ryan roars angrily. "I'm getting my legal team on the phone right now!" He takes out his phone and begins to dial. "And YOU," he points at Paula. "YOU told me that HE," the finger moves back to Klaus. "WOULD NOT BE HERE!"

"Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not polite to point at people," Finn informs Ryan Seacrest.

Out of spite Ryan then points at Finn.

"Mother!" Finn whines.

"Ryan," Paula says in her soft comforting voice. "I believe this is a miscommunication between you and I."

"How is this a miscommunication? You said Klaus wouldn't BE HERE!"

"No," Paula folds her hands on her lap. "What I said was that Klaus was not listed as a participant."

Ryan's mouth drops open. Then he quickly closes it as someone answers on the other end of the call. "This is Ryan Seacrest and I need to speak with someone on my legal team. More specifically, whoever reviewed the contract for Vampire Family Feud!"

There is a brief pause.

"Yes. I'll hold," Ryan lowers the phone from his mouth and yells at Paula, "The announcer said that Klaus would not be present today!"

"Actually the announcer said that Klaus would not be appearing in today's taping," Simon corrects him. "As in all Klaus's scenes will be edited out and released with the special edition DVD."

"You said, 'scenes', as in plural as in – he's going to STAY!" Ryan screams at Simon.

"It's become quite apparent that my family simply cannot function without me," Klaus smiles at the audience as he makes his way toward a section of vacant seats. Sensing his intent, fan girls climb over rows of chairs, knocking each other over in the process to sit near him.

"Yes, I'm here," Ryan speaks into his phone. "Was it you who reviewed the contract? Good, because you're fired. NO I'm not kidding…."

Klaus looks around at the fans tripping over each other to be near him and despite his werewolf lineage, the Original Hybrid has a very low tolerance for drool. "Go away," he compels the masses and they do, even though it's only a few seats away.

"Except you," his finger curls toward a blonde sitting a few rows in front of him. "Come here, Love." He pats the seat beside him.

From the front row Simon's thumb hits the button on his walkie-talkie. "Cue lights and music," he directs.

Spotlights from overhead sweep across the stage. Through the speakers a bit of pop music begins to play.

"What's going on?" everyone asks each other.

"What do you mean you were following my instructions?" Ryan continues to argue with his legal team. "Yes, I know I said that I would sign on for anything involving Taylor Swift but what does this have to do with her? NO! She's not here…. Wait a minute….. OH NOOOOOOOO!"

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"I'm Niklaus," Klaus tells the lovely lady beside him.

"Nice to meet you. Where you been?" she sings her reply.

"Why are you singing?" Klaus leans away from her.

"I can show you incredible things," she paws at his chest.

"You? I doubt that." Klaus looks bored.

"Magic, madness, heaven, sin…" She moves over the armrest separating their seats. Her hand slides up Klaus's thigh. "Saw you there and I thought, "Oh my God, look at that face. You could be my next mistake…"

"I think you're the one making the mistake." Klaus's fangs descend.

"Love's a game, wanna play?"

Klaus grabs her by shoulder and is about to rip open her neck when….

RYAN SEACREST uses his vampire speed to rush down into the audience and in the nick of time lands a solid punch on Klaus's jaw.

He takes the girl into his arms protectively. "No one touches Tswizzle," he growls at Klaus.

"Who is Tswizzle?" Enzo asks.

"Google it," Caroline snorts as her arms cross over her chest. "Did you see how close she got to Klaus?" Caroline complains aloud. "I mean she was practically in his lap. Slut."

Beside her Stefan raises a critical eyebrow but remains silent.

The pop music continues to play as the spotlights moves with Tswizzle. In her stilettos she reaches her full height of seven feet tall as she walks down the aisle toward the stage. She faces the audience smiling as they cheer for her. Then she walks over to Salvatore podium reaching out for Enzo's tie (hand selected by Ryan Seacrest).

"New money. Suit and tie." she pulls him by his tie, grinning, their faces nearly touch. "I can read you like a magazine."

"And you can do other things too – if you please," Enzo wets his lips.

She releases his tie, letting fall back against his chest as she pushes a hand against his chest. She walks past Caroline and toward Stefan. Her eyes wander up and down his torso. "Ain't it funny, rumors fly. And I know you heard about me…."

"Actually," Stefan shakes his head stoically. "I click refresh when I see you trending on my homepage."

She giggles at this and skips across the stage to where Kol is standing. "So hey, let's be friends. I'm dying to see how this one ends."

"Sorry," Kol feigns remorse. "The girl I fancy is much more attractive than you."

"Grab your passport and my hand." She dances past Elijah and blows him a kiss. He studies her every move.

"I can make the bad guys good for a weekend," she sings tracing her fingers across the back of Damon's suit jacket as she struts back center stage.

"So it's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames. You can tell me when it's over, if the high was worth the pain," she flips her hair and sways her hips. The audience is on their feet, singing along with her.

"What is it Elijah?" Esther says to her son.

"There is something very familiar about that woman," he confides.

Esther smiles and pats his shoulder, "You were always the observant one."

Elijah's brows lift as the realization sinks in, "Mother – you didn't?"

Esther raises a single to her lips. Shhhhhhh.

"Got a long list of ex-lovers," the girl laughs as she grabs Ryan Seacreast by the hand. "They'll tell you I'm insane. But I've got a blank space, Ryan – and I'll write your name."

"This is so…so sudden," Ryan blushes. "I-I-I had no idea….," he stutters. "I like you too."

"Awwwwwwwwww," Paula swoons "They are so perfect for each other!"

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"Move," Klaus tells Enzo as he creeps into the spot beside Caroline.

"What do you want?" Caroline keeps her back to him but does sneak a peek at him over her shoulder. Klaus doesn't answer in words, but his hands cup her shoulders and squeeze in a gentle massage.

Caroline tries to fight it but when he whispers the word "tree" in her ear – it's all over. She dashes off stage with Klaus on her heels.

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"Would you like to have dinner with me?" Ryan asks Tswizzle.

"I would love to have dinner with you," she replies.

"Let me finish up this taping and then we'll go – is that alright?"

"Yeah," she smiles at him. "I'll be right over here." She continues to hold his hand as she walks away. Their arms pull taunt and their hands slide out of each other's grasp until only the tips of their fingertips touch.

Stefan studies their interaction. Something about it seems very familiar but for the moment his vampire brain has misplaced the memory.

Ryan walks back to his place behind the podium. An intern brings him a third set of cue cards. His assistant straightens his tie. Someone from makeup touches up the foundation that attempts to hide his sparkly skin.

Announcer: We're back in

Five

Four

Three

Two

One

"Welcome back to Vampire Family Feud," Ryan announces happily. His faith in eternal love is now restored. "We're here with the Salvatore and Mikaelson Families."

The audience cheers.

"The Mikaelsons got the number one answer." The camera pans to the only uncovered answer which is COFFIN.

At the podium Damon scowls as Esther smiles.

"Would you like to pass or play?" Ryan asks Esther.

"Pass!" Rebekah calls from Mikaelson side.

"Pass," Esther repeats to Ryan.

"Looks like we're going over to the Salvatore Family!" Ryan waves his arm to the left.

"Great," Damon mumbles.

"Hello, Elena," Ryan greets her as he leans against the podium. "How is your friend Bonnie doing? I remember she was a big fan."

"Uhhhh," Elena hesitates, not knowing how to answer questions about Bonnie – especially in front of a camera.

"She's still a big fan," Damon answers for Elena.

"Glad to hear it," Ryan nods as he glances at his cue cards. "You have three seconds Elena. Name a place you might find a vampire."

Elena nervously cracks her knuckles. "Let me say a…hospital blood bank?"

"Good answer. Good answer," Damon and Stefan both applaud.

"Show me Hospital Blood Bank!"

BUZZZZZZZZZ

The first red strike appears.

"This is a really hard question," Elena states as Ryan silently agrees.

"Moving to Stefan," Ryan takes a step down to the next spot at the Salvatore podium. "How have you been?"

"Oh you know," Stefan shrugs. "My evil Doppelganger trapped me in safe and dumped me in the bottom of a lake for a few months. Then I went through another bout of 'Stefan the Ripper'. Elena dumped me for my brother. Then he died."

"Damon died?" Ryan looks at the head of household.

"But then he came back and now life is just peachy," Stefan finishes.

"It sounds as though you've kept busy." Ryan taps the cue cards on the podium uncomfortably. "Can you name a place where you might find a vampire?"

"Well, looking at the number one answer, I'm going to have to say graveyard."

"I follow your logic," Ryan turns to the board. "Show me graveyard!"

BUZZZZZZZZZ

A second red strike appears.

Ryan moves to the next spot, which is now vacant.

"Where is Caroline?" he asks the family.

"Getting shagged mercilessly by a psychopath," Enzo replies with more than a hint of jealousy.

"She's with Klaus?" Ryan's surprise is apparent.

"They have a thing," Elena tries to explain. "A weird, disturbing thing."

"Klaroline," Damon adds.

Ryan turns to executive producers Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. "They're missing a player – so is that a forfeit?" he asks hopefully.

"We're not forfeiting," Damon takes out his phone and scrolls through his contacts. "There has to be someone else…"

"I can play," Tswizzle calls from her place in the audience.

All eyes shift her way.

"C'mon" she smiles endearingly at everyone. "Say yes."

"YES!" the crowd shouts unanimously.

"It's yes from me," Paula Abdul looks at the Brit next to her.

"I'll say yes." Simon Cowell reclines back into his chair. "Salvatore Family?"

Damon thinks for a second, "Nah," he tells the producers. "I'm gonna call Ric."

The chants of, "LET HER PLAY! LET HER PLAY!" are so loud that even with his sharp vampire hearing, Damon can not hear anything Ric is saying on the other end of the phone.

"Ric, gotta call you back." The frustrated vampire hangs up the phone. "SHUT UP!" he yells at the audience. But their passion keeps them shouting, "LET HER PLAY! LET HER PLAY!"

"Damon," Elena places her hand against his bicep. "Maybe we should let her play." Beside her Stefan nods in agreement.

"Fine," Damon concedes, "but only if she can get a correct answer to this question."

The "QUIET PLEASE" prompt flashes.

Tswizzle manages to quell the fans as a staff member switches out her microphone. She walks onstage, cupping her hand in secret wave to Ryan Seacrest, who smiles so wide his new fangs show. Standing at the Salvatore podium between Stefan and Enzo, she wears a whimsical smile as though she's in heaven.

"Hello, Taylor." Ryan Seacrest takes her hand in his.

"Hello, Ryan." Her voice lowers with a sultry edge.

"Welcome to Vampire Family Feud," the host greets her.

"Thank you. I'm so happy to be here."

"I'm so happy that you're here as well."

They stare into each other's eyes for a minute. With the camera angle it's very apparent that Taylor is at least a foot taller than Ryan.

The booth signals the far camera and the angle is changed. The editing crew sighs – making them look good together is going to take a lot of work.

"Taylor, can you name a place you might find a vampire?" Ryan asks.

"Right here on Vampire Family Feud!" Taylor exclaims – not sounding overly scripted.

"That's a strike," Damon hits redial for Ric.

"Excellent answer," Ryan praises her. "Show me…On the Feud!"

DING!

One of the panels on the board flips over.

TV/Movies is the number two answer.

"Yes!" Taylor celebrates by punching both arms up into the air. The crowd cheers with her.

Damon, Elena, Stefan and Enzo stand there stunned.

"So?" Taylor asks them. "Can I play?"

"Welcome to the team," Enzo takes one of her hands and bring it to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on the back of it.

Ryan Seacrest's nostrils flair angrily. "I'm standing right here!" he shouts at Enzo.

The lyrics to Blank Space are the exclusive property of Taylor Swift aka Tswizzle.

If you can spare a few seconds to review and let me how I'm doing with this story it would be greatly appreciated. - Gemma