Spoilers for "Into the Deep": First, because I am such a complainer... was that last episode extremely disappointing to anyone else? I was looking forward to the hamburger scene for such a long time and then... bam! Nothing! Well, at least not as much as I had hoped. Just... sigh.
A/N: Sorry about the lack of posting last Friday! I didn't have time to write, darn holidays. And now I have to take another break. I'm flying across the country for family business, so the next post won't be until next Friday... Dec. 7th. Hope you can understand!
Um... so, my characterization of Belle is a bit different from what's portrayed in "Skin Deep". I think it's justified, given the different situation in which the kiss/imprisonment happened, but I know some people might be peeved. I thought I'd give fair warning.
Introducing the first of at least two Florence and the Machine chapters. I love these songs with a vengeance. I am sure Mumford & Sons will forgive the hiatus.
From "Breath of Life"
I was looking for a breath of life
A little touch of heavenly light
But all the choirs in my head sang, no...
But I needed one more touch
Another taste of heavenly rush
And I believe, I believe it
Rumplestiltskin tried to appear as impassive as possible as he stood before the iron door, hand twitching as it fluttered uncertainly about the lock. He had done everything possible to delay the task of releasing Belle. He had attempted to make a journey out of finding Robin, but as it was the buffoon was merely lost in the woods right outside the castle doors. The entire transaction was carried out swiftly, although William seemed far less than pleased with the entire venture. It wasn't as if the boy's opinion meant anything at all to the Dark One, but there was something unsettling about the amount of sheer hatred in his gaze. Hatter disappeared into the trees directly after, only offering a few jovial words of encouragement as a goodbye.
In the end, beyond twiddling his thumbs, spinning, or concocting some unnecessary potions, there was nothing left to do but face the daunting task of trudging forth into the depths of the castle. He cleared his throat and attempted to steady his breathing. Tugging gently at his leather vest, he decided to take a step back from the door. His heels clicked harshly against the stone, and he realized rather late that she must have known about his presence outside of her cell for some time. He glared at his shoes; it was obviously too late to back out.
Waving his hand over the lock, the door sprung open. He had to brace himself at the sight of her, huddled in the corner. When her gaze lifted, she was staring at him with eyes that held none of the fire he was expecting. They were cold, distant... tired.
"What are you going to do to me?" she asked, and his heart hurt at the sound. What was he going to do to her? What was he going to do to her? Rumplestiltskin frowned, wondering what exactly she had been pondering during her imprisonment. Had she thought he was capable of harming her? For a time he had considered telling her to go, wanting to forget she had ever existed at all. But the question she asked assumed something far darker. He was a cruel being, that much was true, but not with her. Never with her.
"I-" he swallowed and blinked with more force than necessary, "I may have overreacted." He wanted to reach for her, to hold her in his arms and beg her forgiveness. Of course he could not, would not. It was not in his nature to give into the emotion, the love, he harbored.
She stilled before she took in a deep breath and stood, "Hatter explained. Some of it, at least." Rumplestiltskin was in awe at the hardness of her. It was so unlike her to be unfeeling, to be statuesque and clipped with her words. It threw him. Everything was off-balance. At some point Belle had become the center of his world, and with her change in demeanor everything seemed to tip from its axis.
"I see," he searched for the words, but found himself scrounging at nothing but useless questions, "Then... then you understand what happened?" Belle's hands were limp at her sides, not a single finger curled. She was just there in front of him, just standing there, and it worried him.
"Yes," her gaze dropped to the ground as she said it. She clenched her jaw, the only visible sign that their conversation affected her at all.
Rumplestiltskin had to remember how to act based on feeling. It was difficult, after so many years of hiding his weaknesses. Putting everything on display was something he never did well, and he was deeply out of practice. He reached forward, taking one of her hands in his. Her fingers were shockingly cold, and he mentally chastised himself for not taking better care of her.
"You deserve better than being forced to sleep in this squalor," he cupped her cheek with his free hand and hissed at the chill, "You're freezing, Belle." He quickly withdrew from her and removed his cloak. Draping it around her shoulders, he took hold of her arm and gently pulled her toward the door. "Come now, we must get you to a fire."
She did not move. She just stared at him, her empty, hollow eyes overcome with confusion. "I-I don't... I thought... I thought you said that I was nothing to you. Why do you care if I freeze?"
Rumplestiltskin's tongue became thick in his mouth. He thought back to that night, to the exquisite feeling of being home that came to him with the slightest touch of her lips. And then his shouting. The way he had become violent, shoving her fragile form into the dungeon as she wept and whimpered beneath the grip of his rough, taloned hands. His gaze drifted to her arms. His chest lit, a hatred for himself burning red-hot at the thought of her delicate skin being bruised by his monstrous behavior.
Yes, at some point he had told her that she meant nothing to him. But she had to know- his clever Belle- that all of it had been a rouse. That he had been too full of anger and fear to judge the situation logically. She, of all people, knew what true love meant, what power it held. She had to know that he loved her with every ounce of his being.
"Belle," he whispered, lightly trailing his fingertips down the side of her face. She held his gaze, but it was different from before. She was not doing it because she wanted to, or because she was curious about his actions. This was not the Belle who revelled in his affectionate touches. This was... was...
He had to hold back the emotion threatening to tear through his core, fighting to escape his throat in the form of a choked sob.
This was something done out of bravery.
A powerful shot of electricity hit his stomach and splayed throughout his body in spidery shockwaves of pain. Suddenly he felt the urge to hold her in his arms, to kiss her long and hard, and wait to see if he felt that same lightness of being. Because somehow, in the very pit of him, Rumplestiltskin knew there was a possibility that nothing would happen at the contact. A chance that there would only be this empty Belle, with her hollow eyes and hollow words. A chipped Beauty and her cowardly Beast.
Rumplestiltskin did the only thing he could do. He gently wrapped his arms around her and magicked her to her room. He held her as loosely as possible as she regained the ability to stand. The fire was lit quickly with the snap of his fingers, and he soon had her bundled before it in the large, plush chair she often read in. It was her favorite, he knew, and he wondered haphazardly if she would recognize the effort.
"Belle," he said, wanting to tell her everything he was thinking. He felt compelled to explain his actions, to convince her that he was more than some imp who could not control his temper.
He had to will her to keep loving him.
So he knelt on the ground at her feet, chest pressing lightly against her knees. Belle glanced down at him from where she sat. He did not miss the way she leaned forward a little, feet shuffling a few inches on either side of him. Rumplestiltskin had never been anything but a coward, but he knew that he would have to fight the impulse tonight. He remembered the lovely way she had put it what seemed like lifetimes earlier.
Do the brave thing, and bravery will follow.
"True love is the most powerful magic in all the realms. It's a rare, magnificent thing to behold. True love's kiss is so strong, it's the only way that currently exists- short of killing me- that can rid me of this curse," he offered her a small smile and watched as her barriers withdrew just a little in return.
"You need it. You need the curse," she realized, voice sullen. Rumplestiltskin nodded.
"Yes, I need it. It's a part of me now. And the thought of losing it was so difficult to bear that I lashed out at you the moment I realized what was happening when we... when we... kissed," the word was so hard to say. He swallowed, heart beat speeding up automatically at the thought. He wondered, and not for the first time, how it was possible that such an amazing woman as Belle came to love him.
She seemed to have returned at least partially to her normal self. He wasn't sure if it was the fire or the turn of the conversation. Her back was not as rigid as it had been, and her lips were no longer pursed into a straight line. They sat in silence for a time. Rumplestiltskin saw the emotions flicker over her face as she considered her next words. Her mouth opened once, but it was to no avail. It appeared that neither of them were quite up to the challenge of bridging the gap. When she finally did speak, it was hesitantly. Her eyes didn't meet his.
"But..." she paused, brows pinching together, "But you do love me."
Rumplestiltskin was not sure if it was a question or a statement. Her tone left enough room to interpret it as either. His left hand reached for hers, and this time there was no resistance as he laced their fingers together. This was it, his moment to prove that he was worth a damn to this beautiful creature. He refused to fail her.
"Yes. Yes, I do," the words slipped from his tongue, and he let out a shaky breath as he waited for her response. If she concentrated, Rumplestiltskin was sure she could hear his heart beating. After what felt like an eternity, she finally met his gaze. Her hand lifted and caressed his cheek. Leaning into her touch felt natural. Warmth spread through him at the contact, and he wondered how he could ever have imagined that denying such a thing was even possible.
"I love you, Rumplestiltskin," she said it as though there had never been any doubt, as if it was not her first proclamation of the feeling. But perhaps she thought he already knew. True love's kiss, after all, required that both parties be beyond adoration or some fleeting romance. It was beyond manipulation. True love was the magic of two souls being forever entwined. The bond of two people destined to bask in an eternity of love in its purest form.
Having that knowledge, though, being aware of it was nothing compared to the utter rush of joy at hearing the words for himself. He had no idea how he could ever have doubted her, especially with the look she was casting his way. And then he realized that he, too, was smiling. A foolishly large smile that hurt his cheeks and strained the muscles in his mouth.
He kissed her hand. It was a slow, calculated kiss. A test to see if it would trigger something great and terrifying within him. The seconds lapsed upon one another with no change. Glancing at his arm, at the scales that greeted him and the nod of affirmation that Belle gave at his questioning expression, he decided then and there what his next course of action would be. He sat back on his haunches, grinning at her as boyishly as possible before diving in.
He kissed every part of her that he could reach. He kissed her hand again, trailing his lips up her arm, the crook of her elbow, the bare expanse between her shoulder and neck. He kissed her jaw line, her eyelids, her forehead. He peppered her with kisses on her cheeks, daring to leave the barest hint of a peck at the corner of her mouth before dropping his lips lower to continue a path to her throat.
He stopped the minute her innocent giggles were replaced with a moan that stirred things in him that were far more advanced than necessary. There was time for that later. For now, he needed to remain as in control as possible of his urges.
They were both left laughing and breathless from his ministrations. Belle cradled his head in her hands, kissing him in turn. First his forehead, then down the bridge of his nose. Sweet, fleeting sweeps of her lips against his skin that had him wishing that he could kiss her properly, just once more. Removing himself from her grasp, Rumplestiltskin rested his forehead against hers, allowing himself one more quick press of his lips against her temple before he stilled himself. One hand was bracing him against the back of the chair, the other tangled in her soft waves.
What a ridiculously blessed monster he was.
"I wish I could give you everything you deserve, Belle. I wish you could have a True Love that you could at least kiss when you-" he was cut off by her finger against his lips.
"Don't you dare, Rumple. Don't you dare taint this by saying something negative. I love you, and you love me. That's all that matters." She pressed four fingers flush against his mouth and kissed the back of them.
Rumplestiltskin was certain he fell in love a little more, if that was even possible. He needed to hold her, the distance between them a tangible thing that made him ache. Sweeping his arms around her back and beneath her legs, he lifted her just enough to slip into the chair next to her. Belle curled into him, head buried in the crook of his neck. Rumplestiltskin massaged the back of her calf in his lap as he held her. Unable to help himself, he also placed a brief kiss in her hair.
It was the strangest thing, to be overcome with happiness. It was exhilarating and frightening. Because all of a sudden, he had something very precious and very fragile as a weakness. His power was one thing. It was rooted inside of him, a force in its own right. But his Belle... He tightened his grip around her, and she sighed contentedly against him.
Shaking his head silently, he had no idea how such thoughts could come to him when he was holding an angel in his arms. Settling in, he allowed himself to become encompassed by everything Belle. The way her body pressed against his, conforming to fit his shape in the chair. She lacked her usual fragrance of tea, and he made a mental note to make sure he made her a special cup first thing in the morning. His mind wandered, he played the events of the day over in his head. A question tugged at him until he was too curious not to ask.
"What did Hatter say to you?"
"Hmm?" Rumplestiltskin nuzzled her hair and kissed the crease between her brows just because he could. Belle was obviously tired, a yawn escaping her before she had the chance to cover it.
"What did Hatter say? You said he explained things."
"Oh, that," he could hear the smile in her voice, "He called you an idiot. He said that you cared for me, but that if you did something rash I should meet him at the gate."
Rumplestiltskin rolled his eyes. Ridiculous man and his ridiculous plans. Let him stay out in the cold all night waiting for Belle. Meddlesome creature. No doubt he would be paying the couple a visit soon, boasting about how his inspirational speech had led to the happy union.
Belle let out another yawn and stretched a little, arching into him as she did. Biting his lip to bring himself back to his senses, Rumplestiltskin took a moment to appreciate the view of his love cuddled on his lap half asleep.
"Come now, dearest. Time for bed." He lifted Belle in his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his neck with a breathy giggle.
"Not yet," she complained, "Not unless you stay with me. I'm not ready to let you go." He understood the feeling. Any kind of separation seemed completely unfathomable at this point. Unfathomable but necessary. At least for now.
"Not tonight. You need sleep," he placed her in the bed, and she grumbled as he tucked the blankets around her dainty form. But the moment she placed her head on the pillow she stopped protesting. Rumpelstiltskin stole one last kiss to her forehead.
"I love you," she murmured.
"I love you, too," he replied, "Goodnight, my Belle."
He snuck away as quietly as possible. He felt too alive to sleep. For the first time in recent memory, he felt happy. Cheerful, blissful, revived. And when he sat down at his spinning wheel, after a quick check to ensure there were no secret onlookers, he hummed to himself as he worked. It was some random tune that he could recall his mother singing as she bustled about doing chores when he was only a young lad. He wondered idly if Belle would enjoy the lullaby.
Rumplestiltskin smiled and began to hum louder. Maybe tomorrow he would sing it to her.
A/N: Ah! The fluff! I hope this was satisfying. Dear goodness, we needed some romance. Please review! Let me know how it went. I promise to have another big chunk of Rumbelle goodness for you on Dec. 7th. :)