I'm back :) Really hope you like this chapter, don't worry we're almost getting to the reason why our favorite couple isn't together. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. Thanks to everyone who's reading and giving me alerts and all, and if you have time please leave a little review ;) Also thanks a lot to xxxMrsSalvatorexxx who's awsome for correctinig and reading this and also giveme her kind words.

Enjoy

'I had never been so happy in my entire life'

'Neither do I'

'So happy that you could touch the sky with your fingers?'

'No, a lot more. At least three steps above heaven'

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Three steps above heaven (Tre metri sopra il cielo)

–Federico Moccia-

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Elena Gilbert was lying down in her bedroom, the lights were off and the only sound that was audible was her steady breathing. Stefan's trip had been delayed so he would be returning home in two days; she still hadn't figured out how she was going to tell him that she was not going to be able to give him children.

A tear escaped her eyes at the thought, why was God doing this to her? After everything she had been through she at least deserved the chance to be a mom. She caressed her belly and started sobbing, this couldn't be happening to her. Memories started to plague her mind but she closed her eyes, forcing them to go away. She couldn't go there. Not now.

Why had life been so unfair to her? She couldn't understand it; no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't find a decent reason that excused everything that had happened to her.

Her thoughts went back to Damon, she hated the way things had ended up between them the other day; he had been her support through this and now he wasn't even talking to her, that made her heart ache. A part of her still couldn't understand why she loved him so much, after everything. There was no reasonable explanation, how can you still love someone that much after they destroy you? That was always her biggest problem with Damon, she loved him too much and she gave him the power to break her with just one word.

And then there was Stefan, he had been nothing but kind to her: he loved her, he took care of her and most of all he was safe. Stefan would never hurt her; he wasn't that kind of guy. He was the perfect man to form a family with, he was loyal, loving and stable, but she didn't want those things, she wanted passion, recklessness and stubborness. Elena was sure that she was a masochist; there was no other way to describe her.

She knew that marrying Stefan was the best choice, she would lead a happy life with him, on the contrary of what Caroline had told her she knew that Stefan and her could have a happy life, even if she didn't love him the same way he loved her, she still cared about him and she would never have to worry about her heart being broken.

Some nights she wondered what would happen if she could go back in time to when she first met Damon. Would she still choose him? Or would she run away as fast as her legs could carry her? She'd spent hours debating on that choice but in the end the result was always the same, no matter how things ended up she would never change her moments with Damon for anything. That's how she knew her love for him was still intact.

Sometimes she wished she could be brave and strong like him, that way she would take what she wanted without worrying about anything or anyone, but she wasn't and she was going to have to accept that fact. Her life and Damon Salvatore weren't linked anymore, and she had to move on.

March 1, 2003

"Well, if a week ago somebody told me that I would find the great Damon Salvatore sitting alone in a bar I just wouldn't believe it." The sultry voice of Rebekah Mikaelson said as she took a seat next to him in the bar.

"That shows how much things have changed, however my answer to you is still the same." He answered nonchalantly as he sipped his bourbon. Yes, the bastards - his so called friends - weren't speaking to him anymore but he was more than okay with Elena and nothing was going to ruin that, not even the stupid comments coming from the blond sitting next to him.

"Seriously, what has gotten into you?" She asked with curiosity in her voice.

"This is definitely not you."

"Well maybe you never knew me Rebekah." He answered with exasperation.

"Relax; I wasn't trying to get you angry. Although, if that's what you like, I can handle aggressive." She purred as she got closer to him and started stroking his arm.

He just couldn't believe this woman, how many times did he need to tell her no for an answer? She was already getting the best of him and he was about to make some rude comment about her insistence when he spotted Elena at the other side of the room. All the color had left her face and he could see her eyes glistening with unshed tears.He got up immediately, ignoring the protests from Rebekah and went to follow his girlfriend who had already left the establishment.

The blond girl just stood there with her mouth open wide; there was no way that that was the reason why Damon was rejecting her, that stupid little kid. Nobody said no to her and especially for someone as insignificant as Elena Gilbert. This was turning into a challenge she wasn't going to let escape.

Damon reached for her when she was about to cross the street, he took hold of her arm and forced her to turn around to face him; her mascara had caused a mess on her face and the broken look in her eyes made him want to go back inside and scream at Rebekah until her ears bled.

"Elena, princess-"He began but she interrupted him immediately by smacking him as hard as she could.

"How could you do something like that to me?" She shouted out with an uneven voice.

"Elena, it's not the way it looks-"

"Then how is it?" She yelled at him. Elena knew that she was overreacting but the insecure part of her brain kept yelling at her to do something "Explain it to me because it seems to me that you- that you-" She couldn't even finish her sentence because the sobs took control of her whole body. Damon took her in his arms and she let him.

"Baby, I would never do something like that to you, ever." He whispered sweetly into her ear while she kept crying against his chest.

"Then why were you with her?" She looked up at him with her big doe eyes and his heart broke at the sight, such a magnificent creature shouldn't be able to feel pain. He placed one hand on her cheek and wiped her tears away.

"Because she's a slut who keeps hitting on me," He knew his words were crude but there was no other way to describe Rebekah. "But I told her no, every single time." He could see that the doubt hadn't left her yet and it broke his heart to know that she was so unsure about his love for her. "I don't want any other woman, I have you and you're all I want and all I need." He said his words with such conviction that Elena knew he was telling the truth but that didn't stop her insecurities from taking control of her.

She knew the kind of man Damon was and the kind of people he hanged out with.Why would he leave his entire world to be with her?She was nothing special.

"But why would you want me? I'm not the kind of girl you would like." Her voice was full of despair and Damon held her tighter. "I'm nothing special Damon." She cried against his chest.

"You are the most special woman in the entire world, Elena." His voice was charged with love and tenderness. "You are the one for me, I love you so much and I would never love another like you." He placed his hand beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I could never love anyone like I love you."

His mouth collided with hers and at the moment he didn't care who may be seeing them, he didn't care about anything but showing her how much she meant to him and how he would never leave her, he was showing her how much he loved her.

She fisted her hands into his raven locks and he could taste the tears that were still falling from her eyes."I love you."She murmured once they were apart and he wished he could hold onto that moment forever. He pressed their foreheads together and opened his eyes to find her staring back at him, her eyes still sore from all of the crying.

"Come on, let's get you home princess." He said softly while their faces still remained inches away from each other.

"I don't wanna go home." She complained and caressed his cheek absently.

"Then where do you wanna go?" He asked with a smile, as if he already knew what was about to appear in her mind.

"I wanna go with you, I wanna be with you." She said before placing a soft kiss onto his lips.

"Then let's go," He smiled back and held her hand with his. "I'll take you to heaven." He said, doing that eye thing that drove her crazy.

"You won't let anyone tear us apart, right?" Elena asked, tightening her hold on his hand.His blue eyes looked back at her with tenderness.

"I would fight the whole world if I needed to, but no one is taking you away from me."

"Okay, so if this everything that needed to be done, I'm finished." Elena said with a sigh and got up from the chair she was sitting at.

"Go home and get some rest girl." Beth told her sweetly. "You need it, you look exhausted."

Elena nodded, if she looked that way at work then not even her house would give her the peace she was looking for.

"You haven't told me what you think about the adoption." The elder woman said while Elena finished packing her things into her briefcase.

"What adoption?"

"Julian's adoption." The moment the words left Beth's mouth Elena felt something press down on her chest, she knew that this moment could come but hearing it was something very different. She was planning on telling Stefan her idea about adopting him once he got back, but now it turned out that someone else wanted him. Why was God being so unfair to her?

"Who is going to take him? I didn't know anything about it." Elena said showing a little bit of the despair she was feeling.

"I thought Lucy was going to inform you," Beth said looking at her with compassion, the woman knew how much Julian meant to her. "It's actually your friend, the one who visits him sometimes, he's the one adopting Julian."

"What?" This had to be a joke; Elena couldn't believe what she was hearing. Damon adopting Julian, that wasn't possible. He hated kids, yes he seemed to be different with the blond kid but even so he was not capable of being a father.

Tears started to fall from her eyes when she realized how wrong she was, Damon would have been the perfect father for their children so he would be just as amazing for Julian. But she couldn't let him take away the only thing that made her life better, she just couldn't.

"Yes, he already started the arrangements." Beth looked at Elena closely.

"Sweetie, are you ok?" She said taking in her reaction, she looked like she was going to pass out at any minute.

"Yes I'm fine, I just need to go somewhere." She said quickly before taking her things and heading to her car as fast as she could.

The entire drive towards Damon's apartment was torture, and the fact that she hadn't seen him since the day of their argument made everything worse. Elena had absolutely no idea what she was going to say to him, but she had to tried, Julian was a big part of her life and he couldn't take him away from her.

She was about to knock when the door flew open and she was greeted with a face she'd hoped she'd never have to see in her whole life again.

"Well, if this isn't Elena Gilbert." Rebekah said in a mocking tone. "I can see you're still interested in the cheap stuff, Damon." She said without taking her eyes off her and Elena felt like crying at any moment, the last of her restraint breaking.

Next thing, a very shocked Damon Salvatore showed up at the door and the minute he saw the look in Elena's eyes he knew that Rebekah needed to leave.

"Go away." He said coldly to her.

"Oh, is this your way of treating all the women you sleep with?" She pouted obnoxiously and Elena looked down, doing her best to not let her see the distress she was in.

"Just go Rebekah." He said in an exasperated tone and she only smirked at him before waking past Elena and leaving his place.

"Come in." Damon opened the door wide open, somewhat ashamed of himself, he knew that she had nothing to be angry about but he felt bad that she had to see that.

"How could you do that?" She shouted once he closed the door, she'd lost her fight with tears a while ago. She felt like her heart had been smashed into the floor, once again. She felt suffocated, like she couldn't breathe, it was like God was trying to see how much she could take today.

"I'm sorry, but last time I checked I was still single." He fired back, he didn't mean to sound harsh but fighting had become such an easy task for them.

"But with her? After everything?" She shook her head violently. "Why am I surprised? I should have expected this." She stated angrily as the tears kept falling from her eyes, a sight that Damon couldn't tolerate. He wanted nothing more than to run to her and hold her in his arms until all the pain went away but instead he just kept shouting at her.

"Expected what? What did you want me to do? To keep pining over you while you fuck my brother everyday?" He spat furiously at her, his body shaking from the rage he was experiencing. Elena's eyes widened at the coldness of his words and she looked down, unable to stand his stare.

"Don't adopt Julian." Her voice was a whisper and Damon couldn't understand how they went from fighting about his lady companions to discussing Julian.

"What?"

"Beth told me that you started the arrangements…but please don't." Her voice was broken and it swept through the last of his barriers so he walked towards her and pulled her into a hug.

"I want him Elena, I may not have known him for as long as you have but I'm connected to him in ways that I can't even understand." He was being honest and Elena knew it, she knew that she was being incredibly selfish but the idea that she wasn't going to have the chance of being his mom was killing her.

"But I want him too." Her eyes looked at him brokenly, like they did that March night so long ago. "I want to talk with Stefan about the idea of adopting him." His heart broke at her words, that would be another thing that his brother would be taking away from him: the love of his father, the love of his life and now his potential son. "You will still be able to be close to him."

"Elena, I-" Damon really didn't know what to say, he knew she was going to be angry but this was a reaction he wasn't counting on.

"Damon please," Her brown eyes bored into his. "I know that I'm asking for a lot but I need him." The sobs started to rack her tiny body and he held her even tighter. "He's all I have and I can't lose him, please Damon, don't take him away from me." His shirt was starting to get wet with her tears and he took a deep breath, trying to gain his composure.

"Okay." He answered simply.

"Really?" Her eyes looked at him with surprise.

"If it's what you want, then okay." He wanted Julian, he really did. The kid touched something inside him that was beyond his explanation, but seeing Elena like this, that he couldn't take it. She couldn't have children and if having Julian was going to make her happy than he would do everything in his power to achieve it. The only thing he wanted was for her to be happy. For a moment he could imagine how perfect they would be, the three of them together, how much fun they would have and how much love they would share. But she wasn't his, not anymore.

"Oh my God, thank you!" She held onto him for dear life and Damon felt a part of himself die slowly, knowing that this was the only way he was ever going to have her, just as a friend. "I know I have no right to ask you for it but thank you Damon, you have no idea how much this means to me." She was being completely honest, she would never forget that he helped her, never.

"I would do anything for you." He stated passionately before taking her lips in a soft kiss, a goodbye kiss. She responded to him and got lost in the sensation, she could feel it too. This was their goodbye, no more stolen kisses or sideways glances, they were going to play the part they had in this story, and it wasn't together.

This last kiss was one soul being torn in a half, knowing that it would never meet its other half again.