So, new chapter here. Just want to thank everyone who's reading this. You guys are awsome, I couldn't be more grateful with you ;) Hope you enjoy, also thanks a lot to xxxMrsSalvatorexxx because she's a life saviour :D so thanks for being a great beta :D


It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now;

So he shall never know how I love him.

And that, not because he's handsome, Nelly,

But because he's more myself than I am.

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

And Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.

Wuthering Heights –Emily Bronte-

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"Bonnie!" Elena shouted out loud and immediately ran to her friend who was now standing in her doorframe. "God, I've missed you so much." She held onto her tightly with a big smile plastered onto her face.

"I've missed you too Lena." Bonnie answered, matching her excitement perfectly.

"I can't believe you're here." Elena said, still clinging to one of her best friends.

"Well I wasn't planning on missing your wedding, you dumbass." She answered with a smile on her face. She felt Elena shift in her embrace and released her immediately. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"What are you talking about? Nothing's wrong."

"Yeah right," Bonnie said with a roll of her eyes. "I've know you since kindergarten; I know when there's something going on with you."

At that moment Elena hated the way Caroline and Bonnie could read her so easily, it was just like they knew her better than she knew herself.

"Well a lot has happened since you were here last time." Elena whispered and looked down.

"Hmm, and a lot is called Damon Salvatore." Bonnie said with a raised eyebrow as she looked at her best friend. "Come on Lena, we really need to catch up." She took her hand between hers and moved her towards the living room, she was not going to let this go, there was something wrong with Elena and she had to know what it was.


"Thanks for coming with me to pick up the suit, Care." Stefan said as he drove back to Mystic Falls.

It turns out that the store had made a mistake and had sent his wedding suit to Atlanta so in order to get it back he had to drive himself over there. He wouldn't be going to this much trouble if he didn't like it that much, plus he was sure that Elena was going to love it, or at least that was what he was hoping for.

"It's okay Stefan, you know I love road trips." Caroline chirped happily while she moved her head at the sound of 'Super Bass' on the radio.

"I seriously don't know what I would do without you, it seems to me that until last week we didn't have anything ready but you managed to finish it all on time." He gave her a warm smile and her heart melted instantly.

"Well, I just want the best for my two friends." She answered with a fake smile and turned her attention to the radio once again.

"Caroline, can I ask you something?" Stefan said in a soft voice while she kept paying attention to the lyrics of the music.

"Of course." She said in a sing song voice.

"Do you think Elena loves me?" The question came out so bluntly that Caroline sat still for a few seconds, trying to see if her brain had actually registered the words correctly.

"I'm sorry, what?" Her shocked blue eyes met his green ones across the car.

"You heard what I said, it's just I don't know, I've been feeling weird about her lately, you know?" He took a deep breath and fixated his eyes on the road. "It's like she's slipping from my fingers, she's distant lately and I can't stop thinking that this behavior started since the engagement party, you know, around the time Damon came back to town."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Why does this have to happen to her? Why did he decide to bring that subject up at this precise moment, what the hell was she going to tell him? The truth, that Elena was madly in love with his brother? Why was fate putting her under such a horrible predicament?

"Why would you think that this has anything to do with Damon? Maybe she's just nervous you know, this is a big step after all." Caroline gave him the best answer she could think of. Despite the fact that they were giving her the chance to break free from everything right now, she couldn't do it, she was not going to break his heart into a million pieces. Plus this wasn't her place, if someone should tell him about Elena's feelings for Damon, that should be down to the brunette girl herself, she was the only one with the right to say it.

"That's what I've been telling myself but It's just... I guess I've always felt a little insecure, Damon and Elena got close the summer we met and I'm not stupid, I know that there was something between them, I just don't know how big."

Oh boy, if only you knew. Apparently Stefan wasn't as clueless as everyone thought, he was just too scared to find out the answer himself. Caroline hated people right now, they just kept making messes in their heads and refused to see the truth, they were all just too scared. The irony of the situation was that she was just as scared as the rest of them.

"I think you're over thinking this too much." She tried to dismiss his thought; she knew that it wasn't fair but it was all she could do for him right now.

"I guess so." He said in a whisper and she was surprised at how easily he dropped the subject, but it was probably only because of his own fear of finding out the truth.

In the near distance Caroline spotted a bar where Damon once brought her, Elena and Bonnie. Since the girls were their alibi they had to take them almost everywhere when they were out.

"Pull over." She said with determination in her voice.

"What?" Stefan asked and gave her a confused look.

"At the bar, pull over." She said more insistently. "I think you need some time out."

"I couldn't agree more." He said with a small smile while reducing the speed.

That's what he loved about hanging out with Caroline, she just made his life easy: she was funny, witty, lovely, being around her was fresh and easy and no matter what was going on inside of his head she could always make it better for him.


"Okay, so what did Stefan say when you mentioned Julian?" Bonnie said carefully while looking at Elena.

They were now in the living room, sitting Indian style in front of each other with different kinds of food surrounding them. According to Bonnie, Elena always talked better when she was eating.

"Well he said yes, he said that he would be happy to adopt him," Elena bit into her slice of pizza before continuing. "But I don't know… It's just, I didn't feel like he was convinced to do it, it felt like a burden, like he was only doing it because I wanted for him to want that."

Bonnie looked intently at her while eating her Doritos. "And how do you feel about that?" She said once Elena finished.

"Bad, I don't want Julian to be a burden for him, he's not for me, I love him." She dropped her pizza into the box and rubbed her hands against her jeans. "Plus Damon really wanted him because he cared about the kid and I feel like the most horrible person in the world for taking that away from him."

"You are not a horrible person sweetie, you're just human." Bonnie looked at her kindly. "And look, I know Caroline already told you this and you didn't listen to her, and well, you know that I'm not a big Damon fan so I'm making a big effort here." Elena smiled a bit at the mention of how much Bonnie disliked Damon and let her friend continue. "You can't marry someone for the wrong reasons Lena, you're getting married in two days and you have all these doubts and thoughts scattered around your head - that's not normal." She took Elena's hands and gave them a light squeeze. "I can't imagine how hard it was for you… to loose your baby but honey, Damon was not guilty of that - those things just happen, it was no one's fault, so you just have to stop blaming him for something that he didn't do and you need to come clean with him because keeping so many secrets is killing you inside."

Bonnie looked with sympathy at the sad face of Elena, she could still remember the times when she was happy, when she could smile and be care-free and she hated to admit it but those were the times when she was with Damon. After him everything had been sad and gray for her, yes, when Stefan showed up there was some sunlight in her life again, but not enough, she was never the same after it.

And even when she didn't particularly like Damon, she loved Elena and Bonnie knew that the only way she could be happy was by being with the man she loved, and that person was Damon Salvatore.

"I just don't know what to do Bonnie," She said in a soft voice. "I mean, no matter what I do someone gets hurt. I can't do this to Stefan, he loves me and he helps me overcome a lot of things and I just owe this to him."

"Okay, and what happens when you see Damon on the wedding day, huh?" Bonnie looked at her and waited for an answer but she didn't get one. "You've been avoiding him for the last three weeks and that's fine but what happens when you see him again?"

Elena knew that she was being irrational here, gratitude wasn't enough reason to marry Stefan. Then why was it so hard to let go of him? Was it the feeling of safeness that he gave her? Was it the guilt of loving his brother? She didn't know what it was but it was keeping her attached to him.

She loved him and that was for sure, no matter if Caroline, Bonnie and Damon didn't believe her, the truth was that she loved Stefan, she loved his funny side and his serious one. He could make her laugh and he could make her feel better, being with him was as easy as breathing. The difference was that no matter whether she loved him or not, she didn't need him, what made him so different from Damon was that being away from him would be hard, maybe for a few days but after that she could easily get over it, if she stayed with him then they could be happy. Her love for him would grow and change and they would lead a normal and safe life.

But Damon, he was something else. Her love for him consumed her, devoured her. She needed him like she needed air and she would never be complete without him. Damon owned a part of her that no one could possibly touch. Being away from him would eat at her slowly - of that she had proof already - she could never be 100% happy without him. If she stayed with him they would fight and make up, they would hate each other to death and love each other with the same intensity, they would live their lives being happy and passionate and they could never have it easy but they would always be alright.

Damon was a part of her, she could never love another like him and that was what scared her the most, the intensity of her love for him, because once you gave a person so much power over yourself they could destroy you very easily.

"Please tell me what you're thinking." Bonnie's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"I'm confused."

"Yeah, I figured that much." Her best friend said in a mocking tone.

"Bonnie, I don't really know what to do. My head is such a mess; I love Stefan but I also love Damon, I don't want to hurt either of them. And a part of me doesn't know if I'm ever going to get over the loss of my child, and Damon is always going to be linked to that." Elena admitted to her best friend.

"And marrying his brother wouldn't?" She said with a raised brow. "Elena, like I say you have to stop blaming Damon for it and you have to tell him the truth, you guys need to mourn this together, it was his loss too, even if he doesn't know it." Bonnie was right and Elena knew it, yet her stupid brain didn't seem to listen her.

"What do you think I should do?" Elena asked with a trembling voice.

"It doesn't matter what I think, this is about what you feel." She stated looking deeply into her friend's eyes. Bonnie took hold of both of her hands once again. "I know you Elena and you're stubborn brain has already made it's decision, nothing's gonna change your mind." Elena looked down to their linked hands as a tear slipped along her cheek. "This has been the problem with you all this time, your brain is always in conflict with your heart. But just make sure that you're doing what you're doing for the right reasons."

Bonnie hated to see the mess Elena had gotten herself into, this could be so easy if for once she listened to her heart and not other parts of her body: not her ears, her eyes or her brain - just her heart, there she would find the answer, but she knew her friend and Elena was even more irrational than her, she would try to please everyone and do the right thing, not the thing she wanted.

And that eventually was going to become the worst decision of her life.


Stefan had lost count of the number of beers he had consumed, the only thing he knew was that he hadn't felt this happy in a long time. He ordered his next one and drank greedily from the bottle.

He heard a soft voice singing near him and turned to see the bubbly Caroline Forbes singing and dancing to the music, yes, this definitely had been the best idea the girl had in a while.

'Take it to the good times, see it through the bad times. Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do,' Caroline was singing at the top of her lungs while she twirled around in her beautiful pink dress.

'Let them say we're crazy. What do they know? Put your arms around me, baby, don't ever let go.' Stefan sang along while approaching her; she gave him a megawatt smile and took his hand, leading him to the dance floor.

'And we can build this thing together, stand in stone forever, nothing's gonna stop us now.' They both sang to the music while they danced together in that small bar, his hands resting on her hips as she swayed them to the sound of the music.

Her lavender scent was attacking his nostrils, overshadowing all other nasty smells he could find in that bar. Her hair smelt like freesias and he couldn't remember a more beautiful smell in that moment.

"And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other, nothing's gonna stop us now." Caroline sang softly with a big smile on her face.

"Please, let's go outside." He murmured in her ear and she looked at him confused but let him drag her out anyway, she would do anything for him, plus, her brain wasn't in complete control at the moment.

Stefan couldn't understand why but suddenly a raw need of being alone with Caroline invaded him. It was probably the alcohol taking over his body but he couldn't fight it off, it was much stronger than he was.

Caroline felt dizzy the moment the cold air of the night hit her, she felt Stefan hands drag her somewhere and the next thing she knew he had her pinned against the wall of the back alley and his mouth was persistent on hers.

"Stefan what the-" She tried to speak but her voice was muffled by his lips on hers. She tried to fight it, oh damn she did but after all, this was what she had been craving all along, for him to see her this way so she did the only thing she could - surrender to it.

Her mouth parted and his tongue sneaked inside her mouth, tasting her, molding to hers. Both of his hands were braced against the wall and she started to run hers across his chest. She may be feeling a little dizzy but this was the best feeling she had ever experienced, her need for him only grew bigger by the second and she knew that if he didn't stop she wasn't going to be able to.

His kisses started descending towards her neck while she let out a moan of pleasure at the feel of his tongue on her pulse point; his hands were on her waist now, pulling her closer to him.

"Oh my," Caroline let out a breathless moan and his hand cupped her bottom and pressed her against his erection, for the life of her she couldn't believe that this was happening.

"Caroline..." He breathed against her chest while she tangled her hands in his sandy locks. He pulled the straps of her dress down revealing her creamy breasts to him; his eyes looked at her with hunger and she felt her entire body heating up under his stare.

He attacked her mouth once again while her naked chest rubbed deliciously against his clothed one, his hips thrusted unconsciously against her, keeping her in place. At that moment his lower body was the only thing keeping that dress on her.

His mouth descended once again and took one of her nipples inside his mouth, earning a sharp intake of breath from her. She gripped his shoulders tightly while his tongue twirled around the hardened peak.

She got lost in the sensation of his mouth on her, she had been waiting for this moment practically her entire life, since that moment she saw him with Elena's new friend, she had loved him since the first time her eyes found him in that school so many years ago and she couldn't believe that this was happening. Something at the back of her mind kept telling her that this was the worst thing she could do at the moment but she couldn't care less, she wasn't listening to her thoughts anymore, she couldn't think so she pushed that voice even more deep inside of her, refusing to listen to it.

Caroline heard the sound of a zipper and the next thing she knew Stefan was inside of her and she was sure that nothing in her life had ever felt more perfect than this. Being in the back alley of a bar wasn't what she had in mind for their first time but it didn't mean any less, she was loving every minute of it - the chance to finally be one with him.

"Oh god, Caroline..." He murmured against her neck while he kept thrusting hardly against her, both of her legs around his waist and her hands tangled in his hair. Her back was scraping against the wall but she didn't care, she would stand the pain willingly.

After just a few more moments she felt the familiar twirl in her stomach, indicating that her release was close. She grabbed his face between her hands and locked eyes with him for a moment before the emotion was too much that she had to close them.

"Oh, oh, oh!" She was being too loud but she didn't care, the most amazing was feeling was going through her body at the moment. Stefan's mouth on hers silenced her moans immediately and moments later she felt him shudder and empty himself inside of her. They stood still for a moment still trying to recover. After a few seconds he let her down gently and steadied her by the waist. His green eyes bored into her blue eyes, both of them wondering about what the hell had just happened.