The going away feast for the king and queen was soon upon them, and Santana found herself fortunate for once. Since the royalty considered Brittany such a special case while everyone else had to take on a whole new mountain of work in addition to their regular duties she only had to tend to one person. With all the new arrivals, decorations and performers, Brittany was more easily distracted than ever before, though true to her word she didn't wander off as she was apt to do, instead she looked longingly at the wall surrounding the gardens as if she could somehow see all the excitement through it.
Nobles came from far and wide bringing a wide variety of gifts for the departing nobility and more than a few for the two that would remain. It seemed everyone wanted to get into the prince's good graces before he became their king.
When they would walk through the halls Brittany's eyes would shine with excitement every time something new came in and eventually Santana gave in, allowing the princess to get a closer look at the statues, paintings and even the exotic animals that were being brought in. She also found herself joining the others in their lies when she promised there was no way their lingering around would get her in trouble. The truth was it would get her a solid lashing for having the princess so close to commoners moving dangerously heavy items, but everyone was so busy no one with authority had the time to notice.
When the night of the celebration finally came Santana watched from a balcony on the second floor of the grand hall, enjoying being able to see and not be seen. She was not needed at the moment and had been instructed to stay out of sight unless specifically called for. The decorations below were splendid; rivulets of gold, red and silver accented every corner of the hall and all three colors were their most dazzling on the royal family.
Fat lords and ladies came strutting in with words of blessing, praise and general boot-licking complements while their servants presented their extravagant gifts. The princess still had a slight bruising on her cheek and a cut from the arrow that no amount of maquillage could cover; the excuse was that she had been slapped in the face by an errant branch while escorting Archibald on his hunt. Everyone seemed content to believe it; if they weren't, they were too cowardly or too disinterested to inquire further, though each and every one of them offered 'genuine' condolences for the injury.
After the formalities there were performances put on by the many travelers who had come to entertain, and Santana found an odd sort of joy watching the princess' face whenever a juggler would make a difficult catch or a magician would make a bird appear where there had been a flower. Her face would come alive with pure, childlike joy that made Santana smile more than the performance ever could.
Once the main attractions had finished their performances, the musicians filed in and the main course of the evening meal was served. Music filled the air and as the nobles all moved to the well-polished dance floor Santana saw the strangest thing.
When she had initially heard the word celebration she'd had a completely different outcome in mind. It had stirred her memory to pick out fuzzy pictures of people dancing intensely and passionately by a roaring fire. Everyone was loud and merry, the food was as colorful and vibrant as the clothes worn by all in attendance. Even the children were involved in the laughter and dancing, their parents letting them run around until they dropped.
This was nothing like that.
The food varied in color from brown to brown-grey, the clothing, though colorful, was more absurd than anything. Maybe children would have livened things up if there were any in attendance and the dancing… no. Calling it dancing was silly. Unified walking was closer to the truth, and it was maddening, because the musicians were playing songs from all reaches of the land and everyone who stood to dance fell into those same slow steps around each other as if they were facing off with an opponent for a fight.
The only thing Santana could do was hope that Puck's gathering would be better.
Through the worrisome attempts at dancing and the incredibly boring presentations of gifts and pledges of allegiance she watched Archibald and Brittany the most, because it was like watching a renowned play in action. The two of them feigned being happy convincingly and after the encounter with his parents the prince had been disinclined to show any more anger towards his wife, but Santana felt that the truce was held together by his father's proximity to the castle.
They ate together, laughing easily with one another before they stood to danced the absurd dance that everyone seemed to know, to their credit they did it better than all the other couples. When they sat back down Santana's mouth fell open in shock when she saw him lean over and give her a gentle kiss as if he was just so filled with love for her he couldn't contain it a moment longer. If she hadn't known better she would have thought all was genuinely well between them.
The night wore on and the festivities went into the night hours, soon Santana was making her way to the ground floor to assist her princess to her bed chambers with her prince. Something she felt trepidation about despite Archibald's actions earlier in the evening. Tina fell into step next to her and together they followed them through the decorated halls and to their room. They walked in total silence and Santana found herself holding her breath, expecting bedlam to break out at any moment, but it didn't. They retired peacefully and even as Santana lingered by the door a hair longer than she knew was wise she heard no sign that they were doing anything but sleeping.
Partially satisfied that all seemed well and partially irritated that she was still letting herself care she made her way back to the main hall to join Matthew in seeing the rest of the guests out. The city itself hadn't settled in the least and when the doors opened color and sound flooded in through the castle gates. The guests that hadn't had quite enough excitement went to join the new festivities while others merely urged their drivers on, being carried quickly through the rowdy streets.
Once they were all gone and the castle servants began to emerge from the shadows to restore everything to its former dour glory, Santana began to make her way casually to the back gates that would take her to the path to the washing stream. At first she felt incredibly nervous as this was her first time deliberately breaking the rules in not going to the dining hall and then to her room, but soon she saw all was as Puck had predicted. The guards were either not at their posts or passed out drunk in the most unusual locations, she even suspected a few had snuck out to be a part of the city celebration in the absence of their commanders.
Feeling a little more confident, she took the long winding path through the forest, deeper and deeper in until she came to the stream. When she looked at the rushing water her face fell a little, but then she noticed that someone had made a makeshift bridge out of a long log and four large rocks to keep it steady. A smirk crossed her features as she balanced carefully on top and walked slowly to the other side, once safely across she pointed herself directly north and started walking.
Here there was no path, only tight-knit trees and brush filled with night bugs and strange noises, and after a while she began to worry that she had gone the wrong way. Then she heard something that was not a natural night sound; it was the sound of drums, fiddles and flutes. Music was wafting through the trees. Reassured, Santana pressed on until she could see firelight trickling through the overlapping branches and tree trunks and then, suddenly, she was in a wide, open clearing that was alive with motion.
This was more like her image of a celebration. The foods laid out on a crudely cut, wooden slab were colorful and plentiful and there was uproarious laughter coming from several large groups of drinking men and women. Children chased each other through the legs of the adults and there were even a few of the castle dogs running around, stealing scraps of food and licking the faces of the unsuspecting. Even the dancing was different, it was nothing like what she remembered from home, but it was much more lively and personal.
And the best part was the ocean.
Where the woods ended, logs were haphazardly set up around the outer area for those so inclined to sit and in the center was a large fire, then an open area that served as a dance floor. It gave way to a cliff that offered a breathtaking view of the endless water. Being this close and smelling the salty sea was a completely different experience than seeing it from afar. Over the music, chatter and laughter she could hear the waves crashing on the rocks below the cliff, a cliff that disappeared into the sea making it seem like a black, gleaming road that she could take to walk away from Castle Abrams forever.
A smile threatened to break out, but it vanished when she heard her name shouted, "Santana!" She turned to see a slightly intoxicated Puck walking towards her, his steps were unsteady, but his eyes were focused, "Y'came! Knew you'd come!" he said as he reached her and pulled her into a tight, one-armed hug.
She pushed back against him trying not to be irritated by his sweaty shirtlessness, "Yeah, I came."
"S'good. Well, come over 'n sit with us!" he shouted unnecessarily, because not only was she right next to him, but the music had stopped for a moment as the musicians discussed their next song.
Puck dragged her over to a spot close to the cliff's edge where she saw Michael sitting next to Tina. The couple waved genially to her as Puck practically pushed her to sit next to them, but Santana found herself less concerned with his forcefulness and more with how Tina had managed to arrive before her and never cross her path.
"Hello," greeted Michael, "It's truly a wonder what Puck can put together when he tries, isn't it?"
Santana nodded looking around at all the people, "I'm surprised so many agreed to come."
"Can't spend all yer time pamperin' the royals or ya go funny in th' head, gettin' out like this's important's breathin'," Puck announced as he sat down incredibly close to Santana and draped an arm around her.
She gave him a steady look and raised an eyebrow, he smiled impishly back at her and removed his armed, but stayed close, "Had t' try."
"I heard that you sing, Santana," Michael said conversationally.
Her eyes narrowed at Puck who held his hands up defensively, "Dun kill me, I'said it 'fore I knew it wuzza secret."
"Not anymore," she said to Michael coolly.
He frowned, but decided her reasons were her own, "I see. Tina has a lovely voice; mine is frightful, but I will sing with her tonight anyway. If you find it in you, join us."
"We'll see," she said, having absolutely no intention of doing so.
Santana took a moment to search out familiar faces and found there were very few, though she hardly knew anyone in the castle by name, she knew faces and most of these people were strangers. She had to assume these were the servants who worked in the castle fields, stables, and armory. Those who would be the least missed at the nights festivities hence their early arrival.
Time seemed nonexistent in the clearing as she observed the dancers and listened to the music, and soon there were even more servants joining as the night's cleanup finished and subsequently more familiar faces. She saw Beiste's hulking form arrive with her square jaw and massive muscles that made Santana think that, at some point before becoming a healer, she had dabbled in being a work horse. Tanaka appeared and, though the man was scowling like always, seemed pleased to be there. After a while even Matthew arrived, greeting them all briefly before departing to partake of the various foods before they ran out.
The conversation between the four was light and pleasant, but Santana could tell Puck was itching to do something so she wasn't totally surprised when he yelled out.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling, "Michael let's get th's ladies somethin' ta loosen 'em up."
Santana opened her mouth to object, but Puck had already dashed into the crowd, Michael just looked down at his wife.
"Would you like something?"
She smiled back at him and shrugged, "It is a celebration," he returned her smile and moved to join Puck on his quest, leaving the two women alone.
Santana sat in what she felt was an uncomfortable silence, not daring to glance at the other woman. They had not spoken since the time in the stables and though they had been in a situation to several times, Santana had just opted to avoid her. Shame and hopelessness reared up in her every time they locked eyes.
They remained in the strained silence for some time until Tina finally spoke, "You don't have to pity me."
The sound of her voice was startling and Santana took a moment to think on what had just been said, "I don't," she replied.
"You do. Everyone does, even the princess."
Santana had to fight to keep from gawking at her, "She knows?"
Tina gave her a confused look, "Of course she does. Archibald likes to think himself subtle, but he is no such thing. Having a woman as his personal attendant is already quite telling."
She nodded, "And the dress."
Her face hardened at that, "He likes to make it easy for himself." Santana understood her meaning and her expression must have changed, because Tina gave her a warning look, "Please do not look at me like that."
Santana averted her eyes, "I'm sorry that I didn't do anything. In the stables."
"There is nothing to be sorry for, because there was nothing you could do."
"I should have tried."
"No," she said sternly and the harshness of her tone regained Santana's gaze, "He would have killed you for it and forced himself on me anyway, and maybe worse."
She nodded, jaw tight, "I know. And I still think I should have tried."
"Santana, don't pity me and please don't try to save me. Your pity hurts more than his actions, Zheng pities me most of all and I can hardly bear it. All it does is remind me of my pain; I like you and I think of you as a friend, so please don't do it as well."
She nodded, fully understanding, "I won't."
They fell into silence again but this one was far more comfortable; they sat back and watched as others danced, kissed, laughed, and shouted. The lively nature of so many people, each responsible for their own person and none ruler of the other, was refreshing and quite a treat to take in.
After a moment Puck and Michael finally returned, their hands full with the drinks they had retrieved.
"M'lady," Puck said handing her a flask looking more unsteady and unfocused than when he left making her believe he had downed a couple more in the short time he was away.
"You're drunk," she said matter-of-factly as he plopped back down next to her.
"Ish not," he slurred and took a long drag from his flask.
She chuckled and watched as Michael presented his wife her flask and sat down next to her, drinking deeply from his. Watching them together that way, relaxed and care free, she could see even more clearly how they had ended up together, he undoubtedly adored her and she him. It took all her might to keep a look of pity off her face when she remembered Archibald, but she did it. While watching them interact she noticed Tina freeze with her flask halfway to her mouth and her eyes wide. She was just about to ask what was wrong when she saw Michael's mouth fall open and then the music and talking stopped.
Santana turned her head to face the forest in time to catch Puck saying, "Well, I'll b'damned."
There, having just emerged from the trees, was a shy looking woman with golden hair wearing a rather elegant, maroon red nightgown that would be an extravagant dress on anyone currently in attendance.
It took Santana a moment to realize she was looking at the princess.
The soon-to-be queen of the Abrams Kingdom. Outside. Unescorted. After dark. In her sleep clothes. Amongst the castle servants having an illicit party.
Her face slipped into the same mask of shock as everyone else's.
"Hello," Brittany said meekly to the still air, "Don't stop. I couldn't sleep and was wandering around the castle, I saw a faint light out of a window I passed. I just wanted to see what it was." The only reply was the roar of the ocean, "I can see now it was the fire," she added hopefully.
Matthew was the first to regain his senses, "My lady, I'm sorry you had to take in this sight, but we were just celebrating the ascension of Prince Archibald to the throne. I regret that the light from our fire caused you distress, we can have it out shortly," he said swiftly and elegantly.
"No! Please don't stop on my account. I would like to join you if I could," she said quietly.
Looking for once like he was at a loss, Matthew turned and looked at all the stunned faces, "Er… My lady, I don't think you should-"
"Call me Brittany," she huffed, "And just pretend I'm not here."
"You heard th' princess! Carry on!" Puck shouted drunkenly from his spot next to Santana.
His energy carried to the others and slowly but surely they returned to their merriment. Quite a few people who were sober and, in Santana's opinion, smart enough to think about the situation left without a backwards glance. Getting caught having a secret soirée was one thing, getting caught having a secret soirée with the soon to be queen was the sort of thing sunrise executions were made of.
The crowd was cut down to about half very quickly and all the children were ushered off by their parents. Remaining were the very drunk, the very careless, and for some reason, Santana. She wasn't sure what group she fit in and looking at Tina and Michael she wondered what inspired them to stay, maybe it was the same thing keeping her rooted to the spot, whatever that might be.
Matthew seemed determined to keep an eye on her so could only follow when Puck leapt up to drag the princess over to their group, clearly intent that she join the festivities. She followed him with a small smile on her face, one that became stunningly brilliant when she saw who she was headed towards.
"Hello!" she said excitedly.
"What are you doing?" Santana asked, almost pleadingly as the woman sat down next to her.
Her smile vanished and suddenly she looked shy again, "Am I not wanted here?"
"What?!" Puck said more loudly than would ever be necessary, "'Course 'r lovely princess's wanted here. D'mind Santana she's bein' thick," he thrust his drink into her hands, "Enjoy!"
With that he staggered off to find more mead to replace the one he gave away. Matthew quickly retrieved the flask from the blonde's hands before she could take a sip, earning him one of her finest pouts.
"My la…" he fell short upon seeing the look she gave him, "Brittany, partaking of drink while you are supposed to be in bed is unwise."
"Being out here at all is unwise," Santana grumbled.
It was an example of the princess' carelessness that lead her to do things without thinking on how it could get those she claimed to care about hurt. However, now, knowing what she did, she couldn't blame Brittany for wanting to escape her chambers for the night.
"Couldn't you have changed from your bed clothes?" Matthew asked gently.
She smiled weakly, "I couldn't find anyone to help me change."
Santana had to concede that this made sense, the woman was hopeless when it came to lace and ties and all of her servants that helped with that were here… or had been before she arrived.
"How did you get past the prince?" Santana asked.
Brittany shrugged, "I go out at night sometimes when he's sleepy, he never really cares where I go. He tells me all the time he hopes I get lost and die in the woods so he can get a new wife."
A dark silence fell over their group as the sounds of mirth from the surrounding people filled the air. Santana cleared her throat and rubbed the back of her head, "He cares enough to see me beaten every time you wander off in the castle." She knew it was the wrong thing to say as she said it, because she saw the regret etch itself on Brittany's face. And having made that mistake she didn't have the heart to explain that, even though she wasn't under anyone's care, her presence put them all at risk.
Michael saw her incoming depression as well and came up with a much better idea to lighten the mood, "We should dance!" he said, quickly springing to his feet and giving Matthew a hard look.
Understanding, the dark skinned man offered his hand to the princess and she took it, a little of her earlier exuberance reappearing on her face. Michael took Tina and together the four of them moved to the center of the clearing and danced to a steady tune that Santana recognized from earlier that night.
Puck finally staggered back with another flask of mead and Santana scowled at him, "Haven't you had enough?"
"Never!" was his happy reply.
She couldn't help but grin slightly as she turned back to the dance floor, "I would think you would be spending this night trying to bed all the women you can."
He laughed into his flask, "W'makes ya think I haven't? Already found four maidens willin' ta go fer a little walk in th' woods."
She turned and looked at him surprised, "There are four women that stupid?"
"Wha… h've you seen me?" he asked wiping his hand grandly, displaying his chest in case somehow she had missed it, "'N I promise you ev'rthin' below th' waist's just's muscular and firm."
"If you are so successful and so firm why do you keep coming over here?" she scoffed.
"Cause you're th' only one lef' who's both pretty 'n untaken," he said honestly.
"I'm flattered," disdain dripped off her words.
Shrugging, he stood, "You'll come 'round," he said before staggering off.
Shaking her head, she looked back at the others and watched as Michael and Tina twirled gracefully in each other's arms looking at one another like nothing else mattered. Brittany and Matthew were doing that absurd dance she had seen in the castle but with a modified pace to fit better with the music that was currently playing. She sat quietly on the log sipping her flask every now and again and enjoying the bittersweet taste and the warm thrill it sent through her body to combat the cool night air.
The music stopped as the musicians prepared to change songs again and in the lull Santana heard the ocean more clearly and between that, the mead and the steady rumble of friendly voices she once again got that soothing feeling of peace. That is until the music started again. The rhythm that hit her ears reached inside her and pulled her past screaming into the present. Suddenly she could see it all so clearly; her parents dancing, her friends laughing, she could even remember the dark haired, brown eyed boy who always asked her to dance but got upset when she wouldn't follow his lead. She even remembered being carried in her father's arms when the night's activities were over and she was too tired to move.
The suddenness of it made her gasp and she looked around her, warily expecting to be back in that place at that time. Instead she found herself still at the cliffs, the property of a soon-to-be tyrant king and his simple yet sweet soon-to-be queen.
Reality made her mead go sour in her mouth and she set the flask down to watch the others continue to dance, but when she looked up she found them doing the same steps and that, to her, was unacceptable. Maybe Michael and Tina could get by with their twirls, but the silly walk dance was incredibly inappropriate.
She stood making her way over, "No, no, no, stop," she said, interrupting Matthew and Brittany, which had been her intent. However, upon seeing the princess halt, the musicians did as well and then so did everyone else; that left Santana the center of everyone's attention and that had not been her aim at all.
Matthew looked at her with concern, "Yes?"
"Th-that's not how you dance to this kind of music," she said figuring she had better say what she had intended to rather than look like a fool.
He frowned, "I cannot profess an acute knowledge of this music, but I feel our steps are sufficient."
"Well, they aren't," she said lamely, deciding to just sit down before she made a bigger ass of herself, but a gentle voice stopped her.
"Then show me the right way," said Brittany.
The thought made Santana uneasy, "Well… it is intended for a man and a woman and it requires that they be standing rather close."
Brittany laughed and spread her arms out invitingly, "I don't bite. Just show me."
"M-maybe I should just show Matthew," she said and moved towards him, but damn the luck if Puck didn't show up and slap her backside causing her to jump into Brittany's waiting arms.
"Jes show th' woman! I wunt m'music back!" Puck cheered.
Before she could protest, the musicians started playing again and the others had moved to give them room. Santana wanted to back down and return to the log and her memories, but with so many eyes on her and Brittany's expectant smile she found backing down wasn't really an option. Determined, she reached up and placed one hand on the taller woman's shoulder and laced their fingers together off to their sides with the other. Then she placed her foot in between Brittany's as she was supposed to as the lead.
It was when she took this final stance that she realized how badly she had underestimated her own definition of close, this was almost scandalous and for a second she thought she must be mistaken as to how this was supposed to go, but then the music and her memory combined and she moved. Her foot pushed further into Brittany's space forcing the taller woman to move back and after that it fell into place, she remembered this. Her hips and hands guided her partner without a word and they easily fell into the rhythm that pounded through the air.
With her body functioning purely on memory she was allowed to panic over how incredibly intimate she was being with the last woman on earth she should be so with. It was different, dancing with another woman, or maybe it was because the last time she had done this she had been much, much smaller, but she was quite sure that there was something wrong with the sensation of the other woman's breasts on hers or the way she could smell Brittany's perfume or see the small freckles on her face, and… were her eyes always that blue?
The taller woman smiled radiantly as they danced and Santana felt idiotic for being unable to tear her eyes away from it. In an attempt to gain some space she twirled Brittany away from her, but since her body was moving on memory, as it had been since the music started, she neglected to realize that the particular way she spun her would result in her partner being pulled back quickly; their bodies crashed pleasantly back together in such a way that caused Santana's cheeks to burn.
Brittany laughed at her own flailing as the twirl had been unexpected and she hadn't gotten through it gracefully, "That was sloppy, I can do better, do it again!" she giggled.
Santana really wanted to and didn't want to at the same time, but since she was asked that was what she did. This time Brittany did indeed do better, but it still seemed off. Santana braced herself for the impact of her return, but nothing could quite prepare her for being pressed into by such a soft and remarkable body from chest to pelvis. It had her feeling things she had long ago learned to suppress and she did so now, with wild abandon.
Trying to focus once again she trained her eyes on the ground and offered some advice, "I'll spin you again, but when you are all the way out stomp on the ground like you are trying to squash the beat under your foot before I pull you back," she said remembering what her father had said to her a lifetime ago.
She twirled her again, this time Brittany did as she was told and was right on the beat, when she span back into Santana her smile was ear to ear and her eyes were sparkling, "I think I've got this."
Santana smiled back and looked into those radiant, blue orbs and found herself lost in them, and as Brittany stared back at her with nothing but adoration the smaller girl felt a pang in her chest realizing for the first time how damn beautiful this woman was. How had she not seen it before now?
Her moment of realization cost her a step, but Brittany took the opportunity to reverse their position and took the lead. Santana was surprised by how quickly and expertly she managed it, but she didn't mind the change. Relinquishing the lead meant she could look around more freely and she saw that others had joined in. Some resuming the dance they had been doing originally and others doing their best to imitate what Santana had shown them with varying results. The only two who seemed to have mastered it as well as Brittany were Michael and Tina.
With great effort she tried to look anywhere but back at Brittany, unfortunately she found at this range it was impossible not to, and when she did she felt her heart constrict a little tighter and suddenly she didn't want to be so close anymore. Brittany was oblivious to this, however, and when her eyes met Santana's her face shone with happiness making her dance partner melt again.
When the music finally stopped Santana backed away quickly, but the princess kept hold of her hand, "That was wonderful! Thank you!"
"Yeah, um… you're welcome," she muttered trying to back away.
Brittany's exuberant smile got even bigger as she finally let her go, "So dancing is your weakness," she said slyly.
"What?"
"You're smiling. You never smile, unless you're dancing is my guess."
For the first time she realized that her mouth was indeed stretched to the limit at the corners, quickly she rearranged her features, but Brittany just laughed.
"Too late, I know your secret!"
"It… I… ugh!" she growled and stormed off to her spot by the sea; for all the good it did her, the princess followed her the whole way.
"I didn't mean to upset you," she said in a small voice that made the brunette want to promise anything to make her sound happy again.
Resenting the feeling, she picked up her discarded flask and took several heavy gulps, "It's fine."
Brittany continued to look at her with that sad face and Santana could feel it burrowing into her skin, "It's not, I wasn't making fun of you or anything, I just like it when you're happy and your smile is so pretty," she said with such honest innocence Santana found her face breaking out into a small grin despite herself, "See?"
Conceding, she left her grin there and rolled her eyes, "I wouldn't know, I don't look at myself."
"Trust me then," she said.
Santana risked a sideways glance at the still beaming blonde, "Your smile is pretty, too … just so you know," she said, cringing inwardly at her own word use.
Brittany rewarded that complement with an even wider smile if that was possible, and Santana had the off thought that it would have been a challenge for Sam to match it. That notion was snatched out of her head as Brittany scooped her up in a tight hug causing the darker woman to spill some of her mead.
"That is so nice of you to say!" she said warmly into the crook of Santana's neck and the warmth of her breath made Santana's body react strongly in a way she knew it shouldn't.
Scrambling to be released, Santana pulled herself free, her face feeling like it could warm a small room, and moved swiftly towards the trees muttering half words and phrases like, 'S'late', 'early morning' and 'tired'.
Brittany watched her go with confusion and Santana ignored the look as she dashed back through the woods, across the log, back up the path to the castle and through the winding staircases that led her to her room.
There were only a few others currently back in their beds sleeping soundly, Santana quickly and quietly slipped into her night clothes and under the covers. It was only then in the silence of the night that she heard her heart thudding loudly in her chest and she could feel that telltale coiling feeling in her stomach. This wasn't that much of a surprise to her, it wasn't the first time she had felt unusual feelings for other women, but it had never been so intense and persistent before. The worst it had ever gotten was with Stacy and that, she had hoped, was passing fancy. Tonight had proved that her odd attraction was still with her and it made her head hurt to think that she now had one more thing to make her life just that much more difficult.
In any case she was sure that Brittany's affections were born purely out of childish exuberance and nothing more. Even if it weren't and she were trying to instigate something, and Santana was quite positive she wasn't, they could never be. Brittany was a princess… no, in a short time she would be a queen. It was the Sam disaster all over again and then some. There would be more than lashes waiting for acting on this, even thinking about it made those old scars hurt. Scars that were now layered under the countless new ones, scars that had been etched into her soul, Elisa had taught her well what the end result would be; pain - and plenty of it.
Quickly she reached under her mattress and pulled out the shirt that still smelled like wine and sweat and Sam, she bunched it up and inhaled as much of it as she could. It felt pathetic to need his smell, but it was a comfort and she needed that more than anything, she needed his comfort just like she needed his mother's lesson to be brought to the front of her memory. They had to replace the memories of her life before being free men's property, she had to focus on staying alive and alive meant out of trouble. And Brittany was definitely trouble.
A/N: Review if the mood strikes you.