Second to last chapter. :)
Don't own, don't profit.
(Break)
When they got back from their vacation life returned to normal. They began compiling a guest list for their wedding and Logan asked Hank to officiate. They had everything planned out within two weeks, and had everything but the food for the reception before a month had gone by.
They were relaxing on the porch with Victor and Scott when Remy's motorcycle came roaring up the driveway. He grinned as he got off his bike and shouted up to them.
"I hear you two are gettin hitched!" Logan tossed him a beer and he smoothly caught it.
"Yep. Want to be my best man?" Remy bounded up the steps and seated himself in the railing.
"Hell yes! Who's dis?" He pointed at Victor.
"Zhis is Victor, he's going to be my best man," Kurt informed him. "Ve need to take him to Jerry's sometime too." Remy eyed the green mutant before holding out a hand.
"Nice to meet ya, I'm Remy. Gay, bi or jus' curious?" Victor shook his hand and smiled.
"Gay. Nice to meet you too. I think you're the one who defeated my hardest zombie simulation a few years ago."
"Yep, dat's me. So, you got anyting tight an black in your closet?" Victor grinned.
"Are you kidding? Half my wardrobe is tight and black." Remy laughed and rubbed his hands together like a villain hatching an evil plot.
"Perfect. Hop on my bike an we'll go pick sometin out." He pointed at Scott. "You be back here in an hour ready to go. I tink you know how to dress for Jerry's." Scott nodded and Remy pointed at Kurt. "You wear de pants from last time and de mesh shirt I helped you pick out with a tank top underneat." Kurt snapped a mock salute and Remy pointed at Logan. "You..." He paused. "You wear jeans an Kurt'll find you a shirt." Logan narrowed his eyes at Remy.
"You think I can't dress myself?"
"I never said dat. But I know you'd pick out de rattiest shirt in your closet jest to spite me."
"No I wouldn't. Kurt went through my clothes and threw all the ones with holes in them in the compost heap. After he cut them into strips." Remy, Scott and Victor burst into laughter at this. Logan scowled and stalked into the house, muttering under his breath. Remy finished his beer and walked to his motorcycle, motioning for Victor to follow him. Scott, still snickering, got on his bike and started it up. With a wave to Kurt, he took off, leaving Remy to try to catch him. Kurt sighed and ported upstairs to comfort his grumpy Logan.
(Break)
When Scott arrived back at Logan and Kurt's house he found them in the living room watching tv. Kurt was dressed as Remy had asked him to be with the addition of a dog collar and some strategically placed chains. Logan was clearly sulking, dressed in jeans and a tight navy blue shirt. His hair was done up in messy spikes and Kurt had somehow gotten a silver chain collar on him that drew Scott's eyes to some rapidly healing marks on his neck. He smirked and flopped into an armchair.
"I see Kurt got you dressed, Logan." Logan shot Scott a look that would have withered a lesser mutant.
"If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your mouth shut. Where's Remy and Victor?" Scott shrugged.
"They should be here soon. When I left they were getting Victor's hearse out of the garage." Kurt's eyes got wide and he grinned like a kid set loose in a toy store.
"Ve get to ride in zhe Green Monster? Woo hoo!" Victor's hearse had been lovingly restored, fitted with seats in the back and painted bright green with scales. It's front was painted to look like a monster face with a wide-open mouth full of sharp teeth.
"Yep. I don't know why they're not here yet." Scott frowned and looked out the window. Logan chuckled.
"Getin' jealous there Scott? Don't worry, I don't think Victor is his type." Scott scowled and Logan laughed.
"Don't vorry, Scott," Kurt said. "Victor has his eye on a human he met at zhe mall a few veeks ago."
"I'm not worried. Remy and I aren't an item and we never will be. I was just worried about the potholes in the driveway." Before Kurt could reply, they all heard the sound of Victor's hearse coming down the driveway. It gleamed in the dying light, and it became clear that they had taken so long because they got Storm to wash it off. Soon they were all piled into the Green Monster and on their way to Jerry's place, talking and laughing the whole way there.
When they got there, Remy got them in again without waiting in line, and Victor's jaw dropped as he took in the enormous club. Kurt reached over and gently shut his mouth and waved his hand to get his attention.
"It is quite impressive, is it not?"
"Yeah," Victor breathed. "I never thought it'd be this massive. Hey, that's Pete!" Without another word, Victor bounded off to the DJ booth, heedlessly jumping over people and climbing on walls to get there. When he reached the booth the crowd broke into applause. Victor turned and blushed, then bowed before his camouflage reflex kicked in and he became invisible. Logan chuckled and led the group to a table in the back. Scott disappeared and came back with drinks for everyone, making sure Kurt got a Berry Bomb since he loved them so much. Logan groaned and put his face in his hands.
"Did you really have to get him one of those? We'll be carrying him out at the end of the night." Scott laughed.
"Think of it this way. At least you'll have a good chance of getting laid tonight." Remy rolled his eyes.
"He don't need to get 'im drunk for dat. Dey still go at it like bunnies. Speakin of which, excuse me a moment." Remy made his way though the crowd to wrap his arms around a tall skinny redhead and nibble on his ear. Scott made a noise of disgust and turned away. Logan noticed and chuckled.
"Don't be getting jealous there, Scott. Remy doesn't do monogamy. You know that." Scott huffed and crossed his arms.
"I'm not jealous." Logan laughed as he lit a cigar.
"Sure you're not. I'm the Pope too." Just then, Victor decided to reappear, bright green drink in hand. "Vhat is zhat, Victor?" Kurt looked at it curiously.
"It's called an Alien Urine Sample. Try it." He held it out and Kurt took a sip, recoiling at the taste.
"Ugh! It's so sour!" Victor laughed.
"I know! It's awesome." A new song came on and Victor grabbed Kurt's arm. "Come dance, I requested this one!" Laughing, Kurt handed his drink to Logan and allowed Victor to drag him out onto the dance floor. Scott and Logan watched them with amusement.
"So," Scott began. "What's through those doors, anyway?" He gestured to the row of double doors along the far wall. Logan shrugged.
"Nothing special. Dimly lit rooms with easy to clean floors and lots of trash cans. If I remember right there are some shower stalls and 'changing rooms' in a couple of them." He used his fingers to make quotations around the words 'changing rooms' so Scott understood that was not their true purpose.
"Why... You know what, never mind. I don't want to know."
"No, I don't think you do. Let's just say the rooms are for the more promiscuous and voyeuristic of the clientele here and leave it at that." Scott sighed and shook his head, going to take another drink before something happening on the dance floor caught his eye.
"We've got trouble," he said, nodding to where Kurt and Victor were surrounded by three unfriendly looking construction workers. Kurt had his hands up and was talking calmly while Victor was looking at them, eyes wide with fear. Logan got up and made his way to them. By this time, most of the people in the club had noticed what was going on and had stopped whatever they were doing to watch, so Logan had to poke a few people to get them to move. As he drew closer, he could hear Kurt trying to play peacemaker.
"As I vas saying, Victor did not mean to bump into you." His tail swished agitatedly. "He apologized, so vhy do ve not let zhis go and go back to enjoying our respective evenings?" The biggest one shook his head.
"That ain't the way it works, freaks. How about you leave and we'll think about leaving your freaky bodies in one piece?" Logan could hear Scott trying to tell him something but ignored him as he shouldered his way into the group and stood beside Kurt, arms crossed and feet planted firmly.
"Is there a problem here?" He snarled, looking directly at the spokesperson for the group, who made a dismissive gesture at him.
"This is between us and the freaks. It's none of your business, so get out of here." Logan decided he would call this man Shovelface, and his two cronies would be Cinder-block and Mud. He could feel Victor cowering behind him. Poor kid had just wanted a night out and now these thugs were going to ruin it for him. Logan pretended to consider Shovelface's words.
"Let's see, you're threatening my fiance and my friend, calling them derogatory names and turning what was an accident into a huge issue. I think it is my business." Shovelface took a moment to decipher Logan's words, then shrugged.
"Your funeral." He swung a fist at Logan's head and Logan tilted it slightly to the side so the fist connected with adamantium-enforced bone and shattered. As Shovelface writhed on the floor in pain, Logan looked at Cinder-block and Mud.
"Anything else to add?" They quickly shook their heads and went to aid Shovelface. Logan turned to Victor and Kurt. "You guys ok?" He was answered by two sets of arms wrapping around him and a set of blue lips meeting his own.
"You are our hero, mein liebe." Victor nodded.
"Thank you so much, Logan. I thought they were going to beat us to a pulp." Logan laughed and tossed both of them over his shoulders. Victor was almost as light as Kurt.
"You guys could have taken them. They don't have cool mutations like camouflage and teleportation." He set them down at the table and soon Scott joined them, looking relieved.
"Logan! I was trying to tell you that Frank's got a violent temper. But I see you handled him just fine." Logan nodded and knocked on his head.
"Takes a lot more than some mutantist asshole to knock me down." Kurt chuckled and climbed playfully into Logan's lap to whisper in his ear.
"I bet I could knock you down. It vouldn't even be hard." He licked the shell of Logan's ear and grabbed his drink. Draining it, he didn't notice Logan exchange a look with someone over his head. He did notice when someone took his empty glass and replaced it with a full one. He turned to see Remy grinning at him, his hair disheveled and a smirk on his face.
"Danke, Remy. What took you so long?" Remy shrugged.
"Jack was bein shy. Had to find a quiet place." Scott made a noise and walked away. "What's his problem?"
"Don't mind him," Logan replied. "He's just a little jealous. Not that he's admitting it. Apparently you're the best lay he's ever had." Remy laughed and took a drink.
"Well, I did have a good teacher." He and Logan both laughed at that and Victor looked confused. Kurt shook his head at the unasked question and tried to direct the conversation in a different way.
"So, vas zhat zhe famous Pete?" He nodded toward the DJ where a slim human was fiddling with knobs. He had black hair, facial piercings and full sleeve tattoos. Victor nodded and grinned happily. "I can see vhy you like him. Is he our age?"
"He's a little older than us. I didn't know he DJed here, I just thought he worked at the music store."
"Vell, he's brilliant for vorking here as vell. There have to be guys here who only come to look at him. And it looks like he is coming zhis vay." Sure enough, Pete was making his way through the crowd, waving at Victor when he caught him looking. When he reached them he pulled Victor into a hug.
"Are you alright? I couldn't see what happened." He asked in a perfect Australian accent that had Logan, Kurt and Remy stunned. Victor winked at them and nodded.
"Yeah, Logan got to us in time to stop them from actually doing anything to us."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that." He released Victor and shook hands with Logan, Kurt and Remy. "Nice to meet you all. I'm Pete."
"Nice to meet you too," Kurt replied. "I am Kurt, zhis is my fiance Logan and our friend Remy. Our ozher friend Scott is here as vell, but he seems to have vondered off somevhere." He looked around and spotted Scott talking to a group of men in the corner. "Zhere he is."
"Hey, I know him. He used to come in here and hide in the back booths." Pete shook his head. "Small world. Well, it was nice meeting you all, but I just wanted to make sure Victor was ok and now I've got to get back to my booth. Come with me for a bit, Vic?" Victor nodded and they started walking away. "Catch you guys later." Kurt waved cheerfully.
"Farevell!" Logan pulled Kurt closer to him and rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder.
"You are entirely too happy for someone who almost got his ass handed to him by 3 thugs." Kurt turned and snuggled into Logan's neck.
"Perhaps I am simply grateful to have been rescued by my handsome soon to be husband." Logan raised an eyebrow and looked at Remy.
"How strong are his drinks?" Kurt swatted him playfully.
"So if I say anyzhing slightly romantic, I must be drunk? For your information, I've not had enough to be drunk." He kissed the tip of Logan's nose and ported over to Scott to talk to him.
The rest of the night went uneventfully, and the 5 of them walked out to the parking lot laughing and joking. Kurt, Victor and Remy were immersed in a wild conversation about fairy tales and Halloween. Logan shook his head and looked at Scott.
"Sometimes I wonder about those three. The stuff they-" A loud noise cut him off as a pipe connected with the back of his head. Logan's eyes rolled up in his head and he collapsed to the pavement. Cinder-block and Mud stepped out of the shadows, Mud smacking the pipe against his palm.
"You didn't fight fair. Now Frank's got a busted hand and we have a score to settle." Remy growled low in his throat and pulled out his deck of cards.
"You picked de wrong group to mess wit'. We'll give ya one chance to walk away unharmed." Cinder-block shook his head.
"We ain't going nowhere." He reached into a pocket but before he could pull out the switchblade he was knocked over by a blue streak. Kurt slammed him into the ground and wrapped his fingers around his throat.
"You dare to threaten us?" He slammed Cinder-block's head off the cracked and dirty pavement. "Vhat makes you zhink you could take down five mutants?" Strong hands were on Kurt's shoulders, pulling him back. He resisted and snarled down at the man he was trying to choke to death. More hands grabbed him and pulled him off of Cinder-block. He blinked and looked around. Mud was lying on the ground unconscious, Logan was sitting up rubbing the back of his head and Scott, Victor and Remy were holding onto him. Kurt looked down at Mud to see him curled up in a ball with a look of terror on his face. He ported out of his friends' grasp to kneel beside Logan.
"Are you all right, mein liebe?" Logan nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just knocked me out for a minute. Are you ok? You looked like you were going to kill that guy." Kurt flushed and looked down.
"I lost control. I zhought zhey killed you." Logan put his hand under Kurt's chin and tilted his head up so he could look him in the eye.
"You know it takes a lot more than that to kill me," he said softly. Kurt nodded.
"I know, but I vas not zhinking." He stood and extended a hand to Logan. Logan took it and stood, looking around.
"What do we do about these guys?" Remy shrugged.
"I say we leave 'em here."
"Good plan," Scott agreed. So they left the would-be assailants where they were, making sure first that they were out of the way of traffic.
In the Green Monster, Remy, Scott and Victor stretched out in the back and Kurt used Logan for a pillow in the front. When they got to the house, everyone crawled out and into the house.
The next morning, Kurt found Victor asleep on the stairs, Remy draped sideways in an armchair and Scott passed out on the couch. He smiled, shook his head and went to find the camera for blackmail pictures.