"I don't think Shelby should watch Samuel any longer," Santana said rather suddenly in the dark of the bedroom.
The light of the fireplace on the far wall gave the room a morose feel that matched the heaviness on Santana's chest from voicing her concern. She hadn't wanted to say it, she didn't think taking the only thing that brought the grieving mother peace was in any way kind, but it was something that alarmed her and she couldn't hide it from Brittany while expecting the blonde to share her every worry.
She had assumed Brittany was mostly asleep when she spoke as it was quite early in the morning, but at the mention of her son's name she sat up right away, looking alert.
"Why?" she asked, giving Santana her full attention.
"I can't explain exactly why, but I think her love of him may be too much for her."
Brittany's brow wrinkled with a frown, "How can that be?"
"Did you know she lost a child? This winter?" When the queen nodded she continued, "I believe she thinks of him more as her own lost child than yours. What that could mean for him I don't know, but I think it best if she were to deal with her sorrows without Samuel."
The blonde drew her knees up to her chest, "I wouldn't want to insult her by taking him away as if she had not been wonderful to him, but if you are concerned, then it is what must happen. I will speak with Matthew about it, I have been meaning to have Samuel returned to our room for some time."
Santana supposed she should have been focused on the matter at hand, but instead she thought of how Brittany had just called the royal bedchamber 'our room'.
Even though her newfound love of the prince meant she no longer despised him she still did not care for him sharing a room with them. Once Brittany had been given Beiste's blessings for going about her usual routine they had hardly had a night where they weren't intimate and she feared that the moment Samuel was back in their care that would come to an abrupt end.
However, she didn't complain, she merely nodded and kissed her before rising to have her morning meal.
And with their talk having happened so early in the morning she was rather surprised when court let out later in the afternoon and Brittany informed her Shelby had been assigned other duties.
It was so sudden it surprised even Santana that the queen had acted so quickly.
The caretaker's absence meant that Santana now had to spend the evening with the prince, but unlike Shelby she wasn't exactly interested in sitting around the child's opulent room waiting for him to fall asleep. Instead, she bundled him up heavily and ventured outside to the snowy circle of land that had once been a blooming garden. The only constants were the pond and the large tree, though it was bare and the pond was frozen solid.
He whimpered at the cold and she drew his furs and blanket further around his head while she made her way to the pond's edge and sat at it just in time to hear Samuel begin to complain. Santana sighed in exasperation at how badly this was going already and took in a deep lungful of air in irritation at the fact that she was going to have to trudge her way back inside.
But then she considered that there may well be a way to get the prince to calm and maybe even sleep. Even though the solution didn't appeal she reasoned that he was a baby and therefore wouldn't remember any of it, so instead of getting up and returning to the warm of the castle she cleared her throat and sang.
Like before the notes did not leave her easily and the words still struggled to find their place in the melody, but after a short time she was able to adjust. Samuel, however, fell silent as soon as the first sounds left her mouth, his eyes firmly on her as he listened intently.
The song wasn't long, at least based on the parts she could remember, so she merely started again once she hit the end. She looped it again and again until the prince's wide eyes began to drift shut and Santana was left with only the song drifting through the still, silent air.
In that silence she somehow knew, long before the telltale crunch of snow, that she wasn't alone. She also knew the person approaching was Brittany, but she wasn't sure how.
"Does my song simply attract you to where I am?" Santana asked quietly without even turning around.
Giving up being stealthy, Brittany walked more swiftly to her side and knelt beside her, "Maybe it does," she said with a smile.
Santana grinned back, but stopped when she realized she hadn't been gone for very long, "Has something happened? Were you not meeting with the nobles?"
Brittany chuckled and stroked Santana's hair gently, "I was, but we were interrupted when Shelby told the guards that the prince had been taken from his room."
Confused, she raised the child gently, "He's right here."
"I know, I knew when she came to us in a panic."
"You knew I was here?"
"Not exactly, just that he was with you and safe. She expected you to be in his room and when you weren't she panicked. The guards are looking all over for him, so I guess I should let them know I found you."
Santana winced, "Azimio is going to kill me for this."
"No one will touch you," Brittany said in a tone so deathly serious it startled her a little, "I knew Samuel was alright, but it was an easy excuse to leave for a time; you won't be punished because of it. Besides there is no law stating that the prince must sleep in his room."
"I didn't mean to cause such a commotion, I only wanted to come outside the stone walls for a while," she said, standing and feeling highly irate that Shelby had made such a big problem out of nothing.
"I understand," Brittany replied, guiding them back towards the castle, "Though I miss the flowers and leaves there is a rather stoic beauty to the garden in winter."
Any reply Santana would have had was swallowed under the noise of several guards marching noisily towards them. The commotion roused Samuel and soon his cries rivaled that of the approaching men. Brittany held up a hand to signal them to stop, and they did so, abruptly, forcing the person following to push to the front to see what had happened.
It did not surprise Santana to see that person was Matthew, and he looked quite flustered, "You found them," he stated unnecessarily to the queen.
"She was never lost, I told you the guards were not needed," Brittany said easily.
"Where did you take him?" Matthew asked Santana, but it was the queen who replied.
"Here, to the garden, but it does not matter, she is allowed to take him wherever she pleases."
Instead of hearing Matthew's rebuttal Santana turned to try and calm Samuel because he had tired of being ignored and began to cry harder. Bouncing him gently, she resumed her song, but in a low tone, for his ears only. His cries turned to sobs and then to silence as he listened, Santana smiled at the instant effect and kissed his temple softly. The prince was quiet and, far from the ongoing discussion, sleepy once more, he looked around drowsily for a short time before his lids slid closed. Santana watched him for a moment longer before looking around at her surroundings and her eyes immediately found the form at the far end of the hall.
Shelby was watching her, the older woman's face was completely unreadable, but there was still that threat of madness in her eyes. Holding her stare, Santana glared back, warning her away, away from what or why she did not know, but she wanted to discourage whatever thought was lingering in the grieving mother's mind.
Their stare down was broken by Brittany who called her name softly and Santana turned to see the guards were gone and Matthew stood alone, looking soundly defeated in his efforts to argue with the queen.
"Come, let's lay him down to sleep," Brittany offered as she placed a guiding hand on Santana's back and led her down the hall.
She allowed herself to be steered away from Shelby's gaze, but not before giving the woman one last glance over her shoulder, and found she did not like the look of angry desperation that was there.
By nightfall the worrying glares from Shelby were forgotten and Santana was back to her normal concerns, not the least of which was how to keep Brittany from turning bath time into something else entirely. Santana had taken great care to make sure her friends knew that she preferred to bathe before her evening meal which meant no one looked at her quizzically when she showed up for her evening meal, hair still damp from the washing the queen had given her.
A little exhausted she wandered in to, oddly, find only Sunshine sitting at the table Puck and Matthew normally occupied. She grabbed a bowl of the decent stew and sat across from the girl, feeling unreasonably nervous about starting their first one on one conversation with her.
"Where are Puck and Matthew?"
"Puck bedding woman from kitchens, Matthew gone already," she answered quickly as she continued to eat.
"Oh," Santana replied simply.
There was a long pause as they both ate in silence before she plucked up the courage to ask, "What is your name? The name your parents gave you?"
The girl shrugged, "Doesn't matter, I like Sunshine. Means warm light. Old name means hard working."
She considered pointing out to the girl that she was quite hard working, but decided to keep that to herself. "Okay," and before she could say another word Sunshine finished her food and dashed off to wherever it was she went in the evenings. The girl had long ago abandoned the small room by the king's and Santana suspected she probably was taking up residence in some small, secluded corner of the smithy.
Either way she was hardly going to fault her for making an effort to distance herself from the king's room whether he was in it or not.
After eating, Santana took the winding servants' stairwells back to the queen's room. She was in no particular rush since the last time she had been in the room Samuel had also been there, his bassinet set up in the far corner of the room while the child himself threw a fit at the idea of being put in it.
Her casual pace was probably why, when she passed one of the windows that overlooked the front courtyard, she caught sight of the people below. Two people to be exact. Azimio and Shelby stood in the shadows talking quietly, and for some reason the sight chilled her to the marrow. She supposed the source of her unease came from the fact that the discussion was clearly mutual, there was no agitation or anger from either of them and that was worrying. There was nothing Santana could think of that would give Shelby reason to talk with the angry understeward.
Keeping herself hidden, she stayed in the shadows until the two parted ways, and then continued on to her destination. Once she was secure in the large room she moved quickly to Brittany's side and was so eager to warn her of what she had found that she was completely unprepared for the strong arms that reached out and pulled her easily on the bed.
Santana gave out a slight yelp only to be silenced with a soft kiss, "Samuel is sleeping, so we must be quiet," Brittany advised.
"I just saw Shelby with Azimio," Santana whispered quickly.
Brittany paused and gave her a questioning look, "Was he hurting her?"
"No, they seemed to be talking about… something."
"Is that bad?"
"I don't know, but I don't see how it could be good. I know she is grieving and lonely, but if I know one man who will not lend her a kind ear it is Azimio. Whatever they are speaking of it must be bad."
It was curious to her that the look Brittany gave at the news was somewhere between resigned and nonchalant, "Yes, I suppose that is true, she is unhappy about no longer being allowed to care for Samuel and has sought out Azimio. It could be for any number of reasons, one would be to find a way to pull you from me, so I would have no choice but to put him back in her care. She may have heard how he beat you before and wishes for the same occurrence again."
Santana frowned slightly, "May I assume it could be other reasons?"
The queen sighed, "It could be anything, we could spend all night trying to second guess them, but in the end all we can do is be even more careful in their presence. Besides, there are other things I'd rather spend my night doing," she purred into Santana's ear and the smaller woman suddenly had no desire to spend more time hashing out the details of a possible Shelby Azimio plot.
Especially not after Brittany began to nip at her ear as her hands began to expertly remove any barriers between them. Santana smiled, used to this method, she knew already what the other woman was attempting to do, she was trying to remain in control. Ever since Samuel was born Santana had found that it was easier to bring Brittany to her peak than ever before, whether it be an after effect of the birth or having gone so long without, the queen needed little work before she was a quivering mess. And they both knew it, though Santana found the fact intensely fascinating, Brittany was rather quick to keep her from exploiting the newfound weakness. So in compliance with her queen's wishes she allowed Brittany to kiss her jaw, neck and breasts, surrendering complete control to her lover who did as she pleased. Teasing was an art that she had long ago perfected, her fingers tracing patterns all over except where they were most needed, and when Santana could hardly stand another moment without pleading for release Brittany slid inside her and kissed her. It was deep, greedy, and, more importantly, silencing as Santana couldn't say a single word at the risk of losing the connection.
They kissed for what felt like an eternity, one that she was happy to be lost in until Brittany relented slightly, her deep kisses turning gentle yet insistent as she brought Santana maddeningly close to the brink before finally having mercy.
A deep groan escaped her even though she was in the habit of trying to contain all sound; Brittany knew this, so Santana was more than aware that she was being playful when she said, "Quiet now, you'll wake the prince with all that noise."
Though her heart was still pounding wildly in her chest and she was still panting like she was winded, Santana found the strength to twist her hips in just the right way to flip their position. She knew Brittany wasn't ready to relinquish control at the moment so the move had to be a surprise if it was to be done at all. The queen gave a small gasp when she found herself pinned under Santana and a pleading look entered her eyes, because she was well aware that the woman above her was going to make her eat her own words.
Santana was more than a little pleased at the way the queen shuddered against her as she locked their bodies together in an intimate embrace, and when she moved her hips, pressing herself into Brittany's center, she already knew her queen was halfway there.
"Wait-" Brittany started, but Santana ignored her, knowing full well she would talk her way back on top if allowed half a chance.
She was pretty sure Brittany was a bit embarrassed by her sensitivity, but Santana found it particularly gratifying to be able to send her lover into such a state. When she began to move her hips in a regular rhythm she had hardly found a pace before Brittany was trembling beneath her, but she didn't stop, she merely rocked with her until she calmed slightly and kept going. It took longer for the telltale tremors to occur again, but not by much. Brittany's attempts at keeping her pleasure internal failing a little more with every thrust and in no time deep moans escaped her throat.
Santana smiled into Brittany's neck as she kept moving, "Remember, you must be silent," she taunted.
Brittany tried to voice a response, but it was stolen from her by the feeling of Santana's fingers entering her, the brunette merely watched the queen, taking pleasure in her disorientation. As she approached another climax Santana could feel her fingers dancing precariously over her back, a show of her queen's unsolicited determination to never harm her again, even though Santana had expressed time and time again that she did not mind scratches in the heat of passion. In fact she enjoyed them.
But Brittany had gone out of her way to never scratch her again, although on occasion it did still happen, just never to the degree it once had.
Knowing that keeping control of herself was becoming near impossible, she nuzzled close to Brittany's ear and whispered, "Don't be afraid to mark me, I'm yours to do with as you please, mi reina."
And those words did something, because she had hardly said them before the blonde was arching into her, Brittany's nails biting deliciously into her skin while she strained to keep from uttering a sound.
Santana kissed her softly until her breathing became normal enough for her to speak, "Must you exhaust me so thoroughly before I've had my fill of you?" Brittany huffed indignantly.
"Hmm?" Santana hummed as she rubbed her nose against the soft skin behind Brittany's ear, "Exhausted already?"
And like before the words seemed to invigorate the other woman, because in response she used Santana's own move against her and reversed their positions once again, "Not as exhausted as you think."
Santana chuckled, "If you think you can tire me first, then give it your best."
"Oh, I have no doubt I can."
And the look in her eyes made Santana inclined to agree.
The morning proved Brittany to be a woman of her word, because when Santana woke she couldn't remember falling asleep, only that the night had been full of silent pleasures. The last thing she could recall was Brittany above her, kissing her softly as a wave of fatigue settled in.
With a grumble she turned over in Brittany's arms to be closer to the source of warmth only to find no one was there. Alarmed, she sat up to find the queen in a different position, but not far away. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, Samuel in her arms as he played with a stuffed lamb.
Turning towards them for a better view, she gained Brittany's attention, the blonde smiled back, "He woke before you did," she offered simply.
"Why didn't you tell me? I'm supposed to fetch him for you," she asked, sitting up slowly.
"I am capable of walking across a room, besides you needed your sleep since you had such an eventful night," Brittany said, her voice light and teasing.
"That I did," Santana admitted, "though with the young prince growing so quickly I would hardly expect for this to keep up. He will not remain unaware of his surroundings."
"I know, I only mean to keep him at my side until he is old enough to call for me in the night should he need to."
Santana groaned, "That will be years from now."
"Indeed, which means some nights he will have to sleep on his own for a time, there are others who could watch him for a night or two," she said, giving her a sly smile.
Standing, Santana moved in front of Brittany and bent over to offer the prince a morning kiss on the top of his head, earning her one from his mother on the nape of her neck.
With a laugh she turned to Brittany, "You were next," she said before giving her several consecutive kisses, the last one ending with a gentle nip to her lip.
"I know I was, but I couldn't wait."
Santana rested her forehead against the queen's, looking into deep, blue eyes and struggling to remember a time when they hadn't dominated her entire world. Her attention was pulled away by Samuel who laughed, gurgling slightly as he jammed the lamb back into his mouth.
"You know we cannot be so close around him forever either," Santana said sadly.
"I do," Brittany acknowledged, "I have always known that what we have must be kept from him, but I always like to think he would grow to be a man like Kurt who knows how to accept others."
"I believe he has your heart and with that there is every chance that your thoughts are absolutely correct."
With a final kiss Santana was finally able to pull herself away and go to the servants' dining hall where, to her surprise, she arrived just in time to see Sunshine storm off in anger. When she went to acquire food of her own she was in a perfect position to see the girl nearly throw her bowl onto the pile that had already accumulated and march out.
Giving her a fleeting glance, she turned to her usual table and sat next to Matthew and across from Puck, though both were looking rather determinedly at the table.
"Who shat in her porridge?" Santana asked, eyebrow raised.
"The king won his battle against the West and is returning home," Matthew said quietly.
Santana felt her whole world shatter. Even though she had always known that there was a good chance that Archibald would return, her belief that his foolishness would get him killed had left her feeling safe from that option.
"How? Didn't he just begin his campaign against them?"
"He did," Matthew affirmed, "However, one of the Northmen he captured was the son of Lord Nelson, and since his force made up the majority of the stronghold's defense he was able to force a ceasefire and eventually surrendered in exchange for the return of his son."
"Plenty o' son's fightin' fathers already in this war, don't see why Nelson got soft allofa sudden," Puck grumbled.
Matthew sighed, "It inevitably had to do with the fact that he had eight sons when the fighting began at his Northern stronghold and after Archibald burned it he had exactly one. The boy was his only remaining legacy."
Santana was so sick of men and their unnatural love of passing unearned wealth to their sons, and her anger wouldn't have been deep if she weren't so sure that Lord Nelson wouldn't have made the same sacrifice if it were his daughter that had been in danger.
"How long until he returns?" she asked.
The well-spoken man shrugged, "Days."
"Days?" Santana repeated, a creeping panic in her eyes.
"I assume so, the letter I received was written as they were preparing to return here and the message couldn't travel too much faster than they can, so I am assuming it will be a few days."
It was with no amount of subtlety that Santana leapt out of her seat, food forgotten, and raced back to the queen's room, her heart thudding wildly. When she burst through the door she startled Brittany quite badly, the other woman was watching Samuel in his crib when she dashed to her side, almost unable to speak the words she had come to say.
"He's coming back," she panted, only then realizing how out of breath she was.
"Artie?" Brittany asked calmly, though her tone of voice showed it wasn't really a question.
"Yes, Matthew said he could be here in days."
Though Santana considered herself an expert at the looks Brittany would give she had no way of reading the one she was giving now. It was serenity mixed with something else as she looked around the room.
"I supposed I should get Matthew to arrange for me to move back into my old room. I've been thinking of having yours redone for Samuel and you can continue to keep me company in my bed. I have become irreversibly accustomed to having another sleep at my side," she said with a laugh, but Santana found this anything but amusing.
"How can you laugh at this?"
"The only other thing left to do is cry and I would rather not do that. Besides, I always knew he was likely to return."
"How was that likely? He ran off half cocked into a battle he didn't need to start, the conditions seemed right for him to die immediately."
The blonde tilted her head, "It's like what you said before, about life not being that simple. I would love to raise my son with you at my side, free of my husband for the rest of my days, but I also know to have depended on that would have been folly."
She understood that Brittany had always been ready for this, steeled against being reemerged under Archibald's increasingly tyrannical rule, but Santana wasn't. She could remember seeing Brittany standing before her fresh from a beating, bleeding badly, and she didn't know if her heart could handle seeing that again and again.
Her distress must have shown, because the blonde stepped forward and hugged her close, "Don't worry, think of us years from now, still in love and happy under the stars. We can make it there, because we will love each other no matter what."
Santana held her closer and whimpered miserably as tears fought their way from her eyes, she hated that once again Brittany had to be the strong one, that after all her talk of the future Brittany had to be the one to remind her why it was all worth it. Sobs shook her as she cried, feeling that nagging shame creep across the deeply carved scars Elisa had so carefully etched into her being to warn her of the foolishness of loving someone in a higher station, to remind her that at her core she would never be good enough. In all their time together Santana had never felt like she deserved Brittany less than she did at the moment.
Then the taller woman rubbed her back in a slow circular motion and she felt her tingling scars fade, the welts that had been left by the queen the previous night overpowered the sensation, but she refused to let her sexual prowess be a comfort.
However, the sensation combined with a soft melody Brittany began to hum calmed her enough to wipe away the last of her tears.
"You never told me you could sing as well," Santana said lightly though her voice still held evidence of her tears. She was completely ashamed of her breakdown and needed something to wash away what had just happened.
"I don't, not as well as you do, and I don't know many songs, but I heard that tune often when I was a child. It was before I learned how to speak the king's tongue, so I never knew the meaning of the words. I suppose I could ask, but I feel as if the meaning will not be as comforting as the melody itself."
She explained herself as she moved to the vanity to prepare for the other servants to enter and once again Santana found herself being saved by Brittany, even if it was from her own humiliation.
Santana knew she couldn't force herself to be something she wasn't, but if she could keep herself together one solid time she was sure she could be worthy of the woman before her. She could be the knight she had promised to be.
The news of Archibald's impending return resonated throughout the castle quickly. The kitchens worked overtime to prepare as best as they could for a return feast and the entire castle was scrubbed top to bottom, leaving Santana little choice but to sit outside with the prince when she was tasked with watching him.
At all hours servants bustled around, but none as much as Matthew.
Santana pitied him slightly since he oversaw the entire preparation while attending his duties to the crown as well. It had pleased Santana that the council was about as thrilled as she had been to hear of his return and even Matthew didn't seem ecstatic. In fact, the only thing anyone seemed to feel was tension; everyone but Brittany. She continued her days as if nothing was going to really change besides making sure they were all moved out of the king's rooms posthaste. Matthew had been the main one to oppose the reassignment of Santana's room and had voiced his concern that the king would not approve at all. The queen had not cared in the least, but Matthew was able to talk her into allowing Samuel to stay in the room across the hall. It was indeed close, and though it was about the size of Brittany's he sold the idea by assuring that if she relented and kept Santana and Samuel in nearby rooms he would guarantee her Santana could continue to share her bed.
The two of them bartered that way for days and into the nights, nights Santana could no longer sleep through for fear of waking and finding Archibald's stony, grey eyes outside her door.
On one particular night she woke from a terrible dream involving Samuel growing to be even crueler than his father, making sure she was beaten daily while his mother looked on, crying. It shook her deeply and kept her from drifting off again. Carefully she slipped from Brittany's arms and looked in Samuel's bassinet to find the child sleeping soundly. Cold fear gripped her at the sight of him, and suddenly the room was too small.
Quietly she grabbed her coat and exited the room, moving quickly to the servants' hallway where she almost shouted in surprise to find Matthew, already standing at the window. He wasn't looking at her however, he was looking out at the distant sea.
He heard her, but didn't turn as he said, "Sleep eludes you as well?"
Pulling her fur tightly around herself she approached the window, squinting against the stinging wind, "Yes."
"You are worried for the queen?" he asked, turning slightly towards her.
"Always."
He nodded, "As am I."
"Are you? Truly?" she challenged, "I know you do what you can to help those imprisoned here, and I know you aren't heartless but… I always thought you more of a king's man as it were."
Matthew sighed heavily, making a thick, white cloud that vanished in the wind, "That does not mean I condone his actions. I wish, like everyone else, that he would leave her be."
"Hmm," she said noncommittally as she moved to stand at his side and join him at looking out over the sea.
They were both silent for a time before Matthew chuckled, "Between you and I, our queen regent gave me my first kiss."
Santana was shocked by the news, so much so her mouth fell open for a bit before she could reply, "She did?"
He nodded as he inspected his nails, "When we were children and I was teaching her to speak. I was trying to get her to say flower, and I suppose she thought I was offering it to her, so she took it from my hands and kissed me on the cheek."
He smiled fondly at the memory and Santana fought back jealousy with every fiber of her being.
"I suppose nothing ever came of that?" she asked as coolly as she could manage.
"No, nothing other than me fawning after her in my dreams for a time, but that ended after a while."
"Was she the only girl to ever kiss you?" Santana asked, knowing it was rude to ask, but needing to know that other women had occupied his mind since then. It didn't matter in any logical sense, but jealousy was never concerned with logic.
This time the other man laughed heartily, "Hardly, I was not always as concerned with my work as I am now."
Relieved, she rested against the stone sill again, "It's hard to think of you and Puck wooing the women of the kingdom."
"In my younger days I put him to shame," Matthew chuckled before his face grew serious again, "but in my current days I only shame myself."
Santana was surprised to hear him speak that way, but since she privately agreed she kept silent.
"I used to speak to Tina here," he said, gesturing out vaguely to the ledge Santana knew to be just below, "I would try to get her to see how much worse it could all be, I told her of all the things I had done in private for her and Michael, I did everything I could to make her feel even slightly better about her situation. But I knew it was only for me. I needed to feel better, because you are correct in thinking that it would take a truly callous person to see what he does and continue to be his loyal aid. I do want him to be the man his father wants him to become, the man I thought he would be, but he's not, and there is nothing I can do for it."
"You can," Santana said softly.
He shook his head defiantly, "I can't, because I still live by memento mori, it is the only thing I know to do. It is how I lived my life and I always thought that I could stop at any point and change course, but now I am finding that knowing you should be brave and actually being so are vastly different."
Santana shuffled her feet and said nothing, because she understood him better than she was willing to admit. After a while she took a deep breath and spoke, "There will come a time when you have no choice but to be brave or risk losing your soul to cowardice. When that time comes all you can do is hope you are strong enough," she said, as much to herself as Matthew.
"That may be so, but your philosophy of memento vitae is still a little too much for me," he said, his lips tugging at the corners as they attempted a smile, "I'm afraid, for now, I must stand in the shadows, doing all that I can while keeping death in mind."
With that he turned back to the stars and Santana watched them as well. The heavenly lights were shining brightly in the clear sky and it seemed as if some were flickering, making her wonder if they, like the candles that lined the halls, were about to go out.
"Have you ever seen a star go out?" she asked.
"No, it is not something that can be seen properly without viewing instruments, but it's supposed to be one of the most beautiful sights in the heavens."
Thinking on that, Santana sighed another white cloud into the air, "And the saddest, I would imagine."
"I never," he began, but seemed to choke on his own words, "As much as I have thought on life and death I never regretted my life so much until I met you."
A frown creased her brow, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I think I'm well overdue on feeling guilt."
Pressing her shoulder into his, she leaned against him, "I suggest not worrying over the past. It's the future that needs your attention."
She could feel him lean back against her as he said, "I hope I do not disappoint."
It was with no small amount of trepidation that Santana woke to a barrage of banging at the queen's bedroom door. The sound startled her out of bed and woke Samuel who immediately began to cry, Brittany was the last to open her eyes blearily yet was the first to stand and answer the knock.
Santana was shocked and a little irritated to see Shelby standing at the door flanked by the queen's servants, "The king has returned, you are needed in the main foyer."
Without the slightest bit of subtlety Santana went to the prince and picked him up before bringing him to the large dresser that was full of the wrappings that kept him from using the world as his outhouse and the fur lined cloth he used as clothes.
She made sure he was properly dressed before returning him to Brittany and then tucking away to change herself in a far corner of the room. The modesty was just for show, however, since she had bathed with most of the women present at some point and done much more with the queen.
Shelby may have been the only one to never see her out of her clothes, but that fact did not change that day since she kept her eyes on Samuel the entire time.
When he changed hands and they left to greet the king in the main hall it was the same, even with all the lords and ladies dressed up in their grandest finery, most carrying gifts for the returning ruler, Shelby's eyes stayed firmly on the child Brittany held. Choosing to ignore her Santana looked over the men and women who stood around and found one group that she assumed, given their overdone winter wear, were from the South and she wondered how that would go over.
Moments later a tumult of sound reached the doors and she had to presume Archibald had arrived, a thought confirmed when he burst through the doors like a man leading a parade, and in a sense he was.
It was a little jarring to see him so suddenly, especially since he had grown a rather unflattering beard in his time away. He walked in, heavily armored, head held high, a broad smile on his face… at least she thought he was smiling, the wiry hair hid his expression.
In one hand he held his sword as if ready for a fight and in the other he held the banner of the West, which was a plain, white sheet with a strip of black on the end, and an ornate, black letter in the center that she could not read, but had always reminded her of a bird.
The commotion that followed him inside was drowned out by the soldiers that followed him and the cheers of the nobles within, though Santana did note no one seemed quite as pleased with Archibald as Archibald himself.
Having paraded his trophy for all to see, he passed it casually back to Karofsky who Santana was seeing for the first time, but only because the man looked far leaner than he ever had before. His full face was now far more gaunt and his beady eyes seemed more haunted than mean, he took the flag and held it like it was nothing more than a stick with a worthless cloth on the end, not even bothering to hold it up high.
The king took his time in soaking up the waning cheers before sheathing his sword and approaching his queen. Brittany held Samuel close as he watched the commotion through curious eyes, and when his eyes met his father's he did not smile as the man did, though it could have been because he couldn't see it.
With a boisterous laugh Archibald scooped Samuel from his mother and held him high as if to get a good look at him, nodding his approval as if the boy were a pot to be inspected before purchase. It only took a few moments of this scrutiny before the prince came to the conclusion that he didn't much care for the man who held him and began to cry with every scrap of strength his lungs could muster.
It was then, in that moment that Santana realized how much she cared for the boy, because she wanted nothing more than to snatch him away from the man that was obviously scaring him. His cries hurt her heart as did the sight of his small arms reaching out to her, Brittany, and Shelby in turn to come and get him. But all three of them held their ground with equal difficulty, though Shelby had the hardest time hiding her distress.
Archibald chuckled as he pressed the child to him, bouncing and rocking him clumsily against his armored chest. The action made Samuel muster up the strength to cry even louder and with that his father tired of him. The king rolled his eyes in exasperation before shoving the boy into Santana's arms so suddenly she worried she might drop him.
The moment Samuel was secure his tears stopped and he held her hand tightly as if afraid letting go would mean to be passed to the frightening man again.
Seeing him quiet so suddenly, Archibald frowned, "Well, he's about as simple as you are, but that can be fixed," he said easily to Brittany as he approached.
She didn't acknowledge his words, instead she curtseyed and prepared to move aside so he could greet Matthew who stood behind her. Instead, he pulled her to him, kissing her deeply in a way that was startling to both women.
In the surge of rage Santana felt at the sight the only other emotion that came through was an acute sadness, because there was nothing she could do about it.
After he had kissed his wife he turned to the room full of nobles and his weary looking soldiers, "Men, go and take a well-earned rest; to my lords and ladies, do not worry yourselves I will be with you to hear your requests. However, the road has been long, so I am sure you will not begrudge me a day to rest and become acquainted with my son and reacquainted with my wife."
His last words were spoken in a lascivious way so that all his subjects knew that he had no intention of talking with her.
Santana was sure she could taste bile, but the taste was overpowered by blood and she realized she had been fiercely biting her cheek. She looked to Brittany who had somehow managed to keep her face in the tight, polite, neutrality she'd always had around the king, though when their eyes met she could see the apology in them, and the plea for her to stay calm.
A message that seemed to be entirely necessary, because even Shelby had torn her eyes away from Samuel to take note of the ferocious look she was giving.
Straightening her face, Santana took the prince from the hall and went directly to his room. She still hadn't eaten her morning meal and her duty to attend the queen did not cease because she was with her husband, but she couldn't possibly sit around outside the king's room to wait for him to finish becoming 'reacquainted' with her. She was in no way ready for that and suspected she might never be, but now it was too sudden and incredibly unbearable. So she hurried to the child's dark, disused room to hide from her other duties, to hide from Brittany's return, however long it would be.
Sitting quietly in a darkened room lit by one candle, turned out to be a terrible idea for one attempting to find peace from their own thoughts. She sat and brooded for what seemed like days until Samuel began to cry, she checked his underclothes for wetness only to he was dry, then she worried he might be hungry but usually when that was the case he would attempt to latch on to the nearest breast. This time he merely kicked his feet and wailed, and it was then that Santana realized it was her, she had been crying and her mood had affected him.
Marveling at how he could even tell in the darkness they were in, she wiped her eyes swiftly and threw on a fake smile as she stood to light all of the candles in the dark room. His tears once again subsided as the room and Santana's mood lit up and he gave her a smile that made her false one become a bit more real.
She knelt by the chest of toys that was kept in a corner and picked up his favorite, the small, fluffy lamb whose stuffing was wearing thin, but was still the most beloved of all. He took it and, as with all things he loved, shoved it straight into his mouth. Returning to the large cot at the far end of the room, she lay down keeping him securely at her side. Watching him, time seemed to flow differently than when wallowing in sorrow, it was easier to forget all the thoughts buzzing like angry insects and enjoy the sight of a baby alternately playing with and eating a stuffed animal.
Then her peace was broken by a gentle knock at the door. Looking up, Santana called out for whoever was there to enter while sitting up since she expected to have to explain to Shelby why she wasn't needed, but to her surprise it was Puck who slipped in.
"You have to know you aren't allowed to be here," she said, almost amazed at his audacity.
"You gotta know I don't care a lick for others tellin' me where I can't go," he said with a half grin.
Conceding that point, she raised her eyebrows, "Well? What is so important that you would risk Azimio tanning you to tell me?"
"Nothin' really. I saw what happened in th' main hall. Musta been rough for ya."
Her face hardened at the mention, "No more or less than usual."
"If ya say so," he said with a shrug, "Anyway, here," and with that he produced a bowl of a fine looking stew from behind his back. When he saw the question in her eyes he chuckled, "If I'm gonna risk flayin' fer bringin' you food may as well be th' good stuff." Thankful, she reached out and took the bowl, putting it to her lips and drinking it, meat and all, "I broughta spoon…" he added weakly as she lowered the bowl for air.
"No need," she said thickly before chewing the chunks of meat and doing it again, only realizing how hungry she was as the warm stew hit her stomach.
Puck waited for her to finish by taking Samuel's lamb and dancing it along his legs and head, the child scrambled to try and catch it, laughing loudly every time he missed and it darted somewhere else. Of course when Puck finally allowed him to catch it, the toy returned to his mouth.
Once the bowl was empty she handed it back to him, "Thank you."
"Welcome," he said with an almost embarrassed shrug.
And suddenly an important question occurred to her, "What's happened to Sunshine?"
"Nuthin' much, I think Matthew's tryina find her a replacement, but it's harder now that all th' servants think the spots cursed cause of Tina dissapearin' an' the last one diein'."
Shocked, she sat up straighter, "Who died?"
"I didn't know her, she was picked by th' king to travel with him on th' road an' be his bedmate. Think it was Matthew who told me she burned t' death in th' raid on that castle up north."
"He burned her to death?" she asked, knowing that given who they were speaking of she shouldn't be shocked.
"Not on purpose."
"I suppose that explains why he's so happy to see his wife suddenly," she growled.
"That'd be my bet," he said as he gave Samuel a parting pat on the head with his lamb and stood to leave.
"Puck, what would you do?" she asked suddenly, "If you were me?"
He stopped and frowned, "If I was you and Brittany was Quinn?" she nodded and his frown deepened, "Best not go down that path, love, not if ya wanna be alive at the end."
With that he left, and Santana sat and contemplated his words carefully.
Brittany returned to Santana's care at the evening meal when she finally decided to come out of hiding. She returned Samuel to his mother and endured an infuriating rant from the king about how foolish Brittany was for not using her servants to care for the boy.
However, when they were alone they said nothing more to each other, the bath and the rest of the night passed in silence. Not an uncomfortable one, a warm, comforting silence that allowed them to talk all night without saying a word. In the dark Santana held Brittany firmly, letting her know she would not let go, ever, and Brittany clung back, showing how much she needed that affirmation.
By the morning things were back to their usual setting, Brittany waking happily, eager to kiss Santana and hold Samuel. The queen was dressed and at her morning meal as always with no issue. For her part, Santana was a little excited for a day without council, with a completely mobile Brittany, but those hopes were dashed when Santana was informed that they did have to attend one last meeting.
Suppressing an audible sigh, Santana made the familiar trek to the large, guarded doors and prepared to wait outside, but Brittany merely handed Samuel to her and beckoned her to follow. Archibald seemed to not have noticed until he was already inside, but when his cold eyes found Santana they narrowed dangerously.
He was not given a chance to speak out on the issue, though, almost immediately the wizened, old men called for order and the processions began.
"My lords, I return victorious, as I said I would, and am ready to receive your recognition," Archibald announced grandly.
Though she sort of hated all of the men on the council, she hated the man in the front center the least, in her head she had taken to calling him Jowls due to the access skin that wobbled distractingly from his cheeks. He seemed to give Archibald the most trouble on all occasions. This day Jowls looked at him like he was a boy asking for a man's sword.
"Are you sure that is something you would ask of us?"
The king blinked slowly in confusion, "To have my station back? Yes, it is."
"Really? Because in your absence your queen has managed to do all the things you failed to do time and time again, even with your ridiculous raid as a chain around her ankle."
"I-" he spluttered and turned, glaring hotly at Brittany who only looked blankly back at him, "It wasn't her doing! I instructed Matthew to help her!"
"Yes, and as I recall Matthew has been your aid since you were both babes in rags yet you still did not manage what she did. Either that slave is a fool and you should not have listened to him all these years or he is quite smart and you would do better to heed his advice. Whatever the case, I think the castle in more capable hands with the queen regent."
Santana had never actually seen Archibald as enraged as he was at that moment, "You mean to deny me my crown?"
The old man shrugged, "No, I mean to advise you to take some time under her tutelage and learn something."
The words hung heavy in the air and Santana felt her pulse quicken after her heart skipped a beat, a feeling of fear gripped her as she watched Archibald redden. It did give her pleasure to see him taken down in front of the council, but she did not like how the focus was being put on Brittany's superiority. Because it would mean he would focus on her to take his anger out on.
Jowls seemed to know that as well, "And don't go off slapping her around like some common fisherman, you are a king and she is your queen. More importantly, she is a queen who saved your kingdom from destruction all while cultivating alliances you were too foolish to instigate."
The king seemed to revive at the statement, "I have never-"
"Beaten your wife? I am old, Archibald, not blind, and even if I was one could hear her limping from the lashings you gave her. It is something we have overlooked as it is not our place to deal in your marital affairs, but we are doing so now. Lay a single hand on her again and the council will have no choice but to insist that the king sovereign return home from his campaign."
This time the angry man blanched, all his color drained as he heard the mention of his father having to return, "There is no need to call him back."
"Of course not, the queen seems to be in good health."
Instantly Santana forgave the council for all they had put Brittany through, this was a better reward than all the praise in the world.
"I will not harm her, I have no reason to," he said slowly as if the words hurt to say, "but I must insist that I be recognized as the crowned ruler once again."
Jowls gave what could have been perceived as a shrug and said, "Then it is so."
He said it as more of a disappointed sigh than anything and even the other council members seemed less than thrilled about it.
"With that settled, you! Out!"
It took a heartbeat for Santana to realize that the king was addressing her, it seemed that in his inability to tear into Brittany she was the nearest living target and as such he seemed intent that she suffer. Santana supposed it should have bothered her more, but if ever she were willing to take a beating it would be to keep Brittany safe from harm. However, as she turned to leave she felt a gentle touch from behind and was surprised to see the queen had a hold of her.
"My lords, may she stay? She helps me tend to Prince Samuel, and since I need to discuss the happenings of the last few months, it would be a great help."
Nodding Jowls gave his grudging approval, apparently over telling her how it was 'highly unusual'.
"And though Matthew is involved in all my matters of council you give me grief for having him here every moment you can!" Archibald snapped, as if unable to believe the preferential treatment.
At the back Santana saw Lord Jacob perk up, "Yes, sire, because as a king you are supposed to be able to handle these things without a servant to hold your hand. The queen did your job and raised your son with half the help, we will allow her to keep her servant nearby."
"And do not think taking your petty anger out on her servant or the prince will go unnoticed," Jowls growled at him upon seeing the venom Archibald was sending Santana's way. "Now sit down and have some dignity about yourself."
It was with smug satisfaction that Santana watched the once-again king sit in his seat while his wife sat demurely at his side in the provided chair. The feeling that rose within her she assumed was what one must feel when narrowly escaping a wild beast by slipping through a small crack.
Though she knew, as all prey did, that predators will always try to find a way to reach them and rip them apart.