Aubrey was going to Los Angeles in four months. She was going to Los Angeles to live with Beca. Chloe closed her eyes, replaying the conversation she had overheard. Beca took medication to keep her depression under control. Maybe that was the same problem Chloe had. Maybe she was just depressed. Sure, it didn't explain the very, very brief moments where she was nothing but happy, but it explained the lows.

It explained wanting to sleep all day and all night.

It explained wanting to kill herself when things got really bad.

Maybe she should tell her parents she wanted to see a doctor about it, just in case.

She would get out of bed and find her phone, but it was one of those days. It hurt to even think about moving. She could hear Aubrey and Beca in the living room, talking about the apartment that Beca's dad had already gotten for her.

Footsteps heading down the hall, stopping at her door. "Chloe?" Aubrey's voice was gentle, a hint of worry in it. "It's almost two in the afternoon."

"I don't feel good."

"I'm going to run out and get some food. Beca will be in the living room if you need anything." Her footsteps retreated down the hall, stopped somewhere in the living room before continuing to the door. Chloe listened to the door open and close, waiting a few minutes before forcing herself out of the bed.

Sure enough, Beca was stretched out on the couch, her laptop open. She had her hands raised, headphones at the ready, when she noticed Chloe. "Hey."

"Hi," Chloe mumbled, the first words she had spoken to Beca since four days ago at the hotel. "Make some room?"

"Of course." The brunette swung her feet to te floor, watching quietly as Chloe made herself comfortable. "Look, Aubrey told me that you know we are moving in together.."

"Beca, it's fine."

Beca nodded, closing her laptop and setting it on the table. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

Chloe smiled. "I thought you hated movies."

"Well, you know, I dated this chick for a while and she showed me that not all movies are horribly predictable," Beca smirked.

"Clearly, she must have known her stuff." Chloe frowned for a moment. "Did you ask Aubrey? Or did she ask you?"

"She.. uh.. she asked me. I was telling her how my dad got me this two bedroom apartment in North Hollywood and she brought up moving in together. It just seems logical since her dad.." Beca trailed off.

"Her dad what?" Chloe inquired.

"Her dads firm is opening a branch in LA. It saves her from having to apartment hunt."

Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Aubrey was going to Los Angeles anyways. She was leaving Chloe regardless and she hasn't told her. "Oh."

"Aubrey is going to kill me for telling you. I don't.."

"What? Did she not want me to know? She wanted to hide that from me? Everyone is abandoning me. This is bullshit," she said, standing up. Ignoring Beca, she made her way back to her room and found her sneakers and phone before heading back into the living room. "Tell Aubrey I won't be home tonight," she snapped, grabbing her wallet before leaving the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

Fifteen minutes later she found herself in front of the apartment that Cynthia Rose and Stacie shared, tears falling down her cheeks. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, quickly highlighting Cynthia Roses name. "Yeah?"

"It's Chloe. Do you have some time? I could really use someone to talk to," Chloe mumbled, wiping her eyes.

"I'll be down in five."

The phone disconnected and Chloe tried to stop the new wave of tears. Five minutes later, Cynthia Rose climbed into the car and looked at the redhead. "I'm not okay," she cried.

Cynthia Rose wisely kept her mouth shut.

"Beca and Aubrey are moving to Los Angeles together. Aubrey has a job in California and I had to find out from Beca because I guess I am just not important to Aubrey anymore. She doesn't tell me anything willingly. I.. I overheard something, and it made me think."

"I am all ears, babe."

"I know I can trust you. I heard Beca tell Aubrey that when she was a teenager, she was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and that she takes medication." Chloe bit her lip. "I think I want to go see a doctor. I think I might have that problem."

Cynthia Rose reached across the car, pulling the redhead to her. "If you want that, we will figure something out, okay? I take it you don't want anyone else to know?"

Chloe shook her head. "I'm scared to know if I am messed up."

"I'll let you in on a secret, Chloe. Everyone is messed up. Some just hide it better than others," Cynthia Rose said, pulling back and smiling at her friend.

Bi-Polar II.

Chloe had a mental illness.

She slowly walked back into the waiting room, ignoring the look Cynthia Rose gave her, holding the pieces of paper in her hand. She felt numb.

She could feel the last few years of her life slowly falling into place.

The down moods. The small ups.

It made sense.

She finally looked to the other woman as they got to the car. "I need to get these prescriptions filled."

Cynthia Rose nodded. "Easy enough."

Chloe remained silent as they headed towards the drugstore.

"Aubrey texted you a few times while you were in there," Cynthia Rose mentioned, setting Chloe's phone in one of the cupholders.

The redhead nodded, pulling into the parking lot. Cynthia Rose followed her into the store, hanging back in the small toy section as Chloe dropped the prescription off. She was putzing with a cup in a ball toy when Chloe reappeared. "I have officially been diagnosed as biploar, which does explain my ups and downs, I guess."

"You gonna tell Aubrey?"

Chloe shook her head. "I was actually going to make you a little deal."

"Oh?"

"Stacie told me you have been having some trouble with your gambling again."

Cynthia Rose looked at the floor.

"With Beca and Aubrey moving across the country, it is going to be slightly easier to keep things from them. We all know I can be.. spastic. So, you make sure I take my meds every day and I will do my damndest to keep you from gambling. Sound fair?"

"Very." She was silent for a moment. "Stacie said if it gets worse again, she is done. I don't want to lose her. I worked so hard to get her to see that she was what I wanted, and if that was going to just.. fall apart.. I couldn't handle that, you know? As cheesy as it sounds, she makes.."

"..you better." Chloe smiled. "I know the feeling. And that's why I want to help you. And you are the only person.. I haven't even told my parents I was going to see a doctor.. you are my support system. I'm going to rely on you to keep me in check."

Cynthia Rose remained silent for a moment before looking at Chloe again. "Have you ever seriously thought about killing yourself?" she asked, her voice low.

The redhead thought for a moment, looking around. "When Beca left." She turned and walked back to the pharmacy, letting her brain figure out how to finish the answer. They were in the car ten minutes later when Chloe finally had it. "I had never thought of myself as someone who would be suicidal. I mean, I was always able to put on a smile to please everyone around me, but I never wanted to die."

Chloe noted that Stacie's car was gone when she parked in front of Cynthia Rose's building. They headed upstairs, sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

"No one can deny that I wanted Beca, like, the second I saw her. At first, it was just lust. She was hot and I was itching for someone new. I don't know what I was thinking when I walked into her shower stall and forced her to sing. I'm still shocked she never tried to have me arrested. She told me, at hood night, that even if her sad hadn't told her to get involved.. after that night she would have auditioned anyways because of me. She was striving to connect with someone."

She took a drink of water, hesitantly downing her two pills.

"She connected with me over music and all I could realize was that there was so much more to her than that badass attitude she tried so hard to project. We spent time together, and then that night we all waited in her room? After you guys had left, I confessed everything to her. Not about wanting her, but how it made me feel horrible with how Aubrey treated me. How Aubrey treated everyone."

Cynthia Rose smirked.

"Clearly, you can guess the choice words Beca had about that, right? So it actually hurt my feelings at semis when she told me that it's okay, because it wasn't like I had to pretend I was allowed to have a say in the group."

"What gave you the courage to make that first move?"

"I saw her kiss Jesse. It hurt. Like, it felt like someone was standing on my chest. Two days later, I asked her of they were dating and it was such a relief to hear her say that they weren't. She liked him as a friend, but she couldn't get over some comments he made in the beginning of the year that made him sound like a pretentious douchebag."

"That's because he is a pretentious douchebag," Cynthia Rose said, clinking her water glass with Chloe's as they laughed.

"Anyways, back to the story. I could have just asked her if she wanted to go on a date, but in my pure elation that she was single, I just leaned forward and kissed her. She pushed me away, telling me she needed to think."

The other woman laughed. "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh because I know you put yourself out there, but I can just see that happening. Beca has walls, but I don't think she has any ability to keep them up when it comes to you, even now."

"No, she still has some. But at hood night the next year, she asked me to come, and I did. We got drunk and we fell into bed. Neither of us wanted to call it a one night stand. In a way, we roped ourselves into a relationship that most people thought was coming. If I said I didn't have doubts about it, I would be lying."

"As sad as it is true, all good things must come to an end."

"That's deep." She let a sad smile cross her face. "I kept trying to push her away. But Beca wouldn't have that. She kept trying to worm her way back in, because deep down she wanted it.. she wanted me. Then I just kept closing in on myself. I still can't explain it. And one day, I woke up, and Beca was gone."

"Ouch."

She nodded. "Yeah. I felt like I just.. I didn't want to go on. I had pushed her away, but once I achieved that, I found I needed her. I needed her to stay alive. I never actually tried to kill myself, and I have Aubrey to thank for that. I would call her and I would be a miserable mess and she would wait until I was calm before she told me that Beca was just as miserable, but neither of us would cave." She took a deep breath, opening her mouth to add more when the front door opened, Stacie coming in with a few grocery bags.

"Oh, Chloe! Hey!" she said, smile on her face as Cynthia Rose jumped up and took the bags from her. "I didn't think you guys were gonna be back for a while still. I was hoping to have some sort of dinner thrown together."

"Don't let us being here early stop you from cooking. I was just gonna get some takeout," Chloe replied, turning on the couch to look into the kitchen. Her eyes met Cynthia Rose's for a brief second, smiling as she put the groceries away, the two moving effortlessly in the kitchen around each other.

She couldn't have prepared herself for the jolt of sadness that hit in her in that moment.

That was something her and Beca were supposed to have. She was going to come home from her job as a teacher and Beca would have some mangled form of dinner waiting on the table, and they would curl up on the couch together and fall asleep in each others arms.

She stood up, her head spinning. "Chloe?" Cynthia Rose sounded far away.

She needed out.

She needed to run.

She was falling towards the couch again.

Blacking out worked, too, she guessed.