The captain returned later that afternoon but closed himself into his office before Ianto had the chance to approach him. It wasn't like him to be so standoffish, but there were times he'd acted that way in the past. Perhaps something non-Torchwood related had occurred and he just wasn't up for talking to anyone. Ianto didn't think so, but he figured he should give the man the benefit of the doubt.

Even so, he wasn't planning to let the matter of lunch drop. Jack's behavior was childish and uncalled for, no matter how snippy Ianto had been with him earlier in the day. It was one thing to be angry with him, but it was quite another to draw the rest of the team into their fight.

Steeling his resolve, Ianto knocked on the door to the office. There was no response from within but Ianto could see the man sitting at his desk. Okay, so now he was being ignored. He knocked again.

"I'm busy," Jack responded at last.

"We need to talk."

"Not right now," replied Jack, eyes trained on the papers in front of him.

Ianto leaned his head against the door and sighed. "Sir…"

"Ianto, later. I have things to do."

"You do realize I have a key to your office, don't you?"

The captain finally looked up, eyes hard. "You wouldn't."

"I would."

Jack swore and got to his feet, walking over to unlock the door. He didn't wait and turned back around, heading for his desk once more.

Ianto entered and closed the door behind him. "Are you going to tell me why you're upset?" he asked, not bothering to take a seat.

The captain shrugged. "I'm not upset, Ianto. As I told you, I'm busy."

"And you being busy is why you told the team I wouldn't be able to go to lunch with them?"

"No," Jack replied, picking up his pen. "That was because you were busy."

"That's a load of shite and you know it!"

Jack's eyebrow arched. "Excuse me? A bit out of line, don't you think?"

Ianto stepped closer to the desk and leaned his hands against it, lowering his head to Jack's level. "What's happening between the two of us has nothing to do with the rest of the team, sir," he growled, anger rising. "You and I have been able to keep our personal business between the two of us before with no problems. Why is it a problem now?"

The captain held his gaze for a moment and then looked away. "The situation has changed."

"Because of the baby?"

"Yes!"

Ianto moved around the desk and settled against it, crossing his arms and his ankles. It was the position he normally assumed when they were going to have a private talk as it was more intimate. "This baby is ours, sir. It doesn't belong to the others. But we couldn't have hidden the pregnancy. I was ill, and Owen is my doctor."

"I know."

"And they've been nothing but supportive since they found out."

"I know," Jack said again.

Ianto licked his lips. "I was short with you this morning and I apologize."

"I was only trying to help," Jack replied, looking up at him earnestly.

"And I appreciate it, sir," Ianto told him, honestly. "But my body is not my own these days. It's changing, and with those changes comes…moodiness."

Jack looked up at him, eyes sad. "I have to learn to expect that, I suppose."

"Yes," agreed Ianto. "Preferably without taking your anger out on me by denying me lunch."

"You did order yourself something, right?"

"Pizza. There's some in the fridge. Have you eaten?" Jack shook his head and Ianto moved away from the desk. "I'll go heat up a few slices. If you'd like me to."

Smiling, Jack said, "Yes, please."

Ianto nodded. "I'll be just a moment."

As he waited for Jack's food to heat in the microwave he frowned. He'd not handled that conversation the way he'd intended. They'd both overreacted, and while Ianto could blame a portion of his own behavior on his hormones, he still had no idea why Jack had responded so strangely. Yes, his teammates knew about the baby, but that didn't mean that every personal argument had to be common knowledge. Surely there were still some things between them that were sacred?

The microwave beeped and Ianto removed the plate, grabbing a napkin and bottled water before returning to Jack's office. This time he left the door open, since he didn't intend to discuss their earlier problems further. He'd just let it go. Maybe understanding why he'd been so snappy would be enough for Jack and he wouldn't respond the same way again.

It wasn't until later that night, as he lay awake beside Jack, that he began to think about their argument once more. He hated when thoughts wouldn't leave him alone, and this one was no exception.

"You're thinking so loudly I can hear you from here," said Jack, rolling over and reaching an arm across Ianto's chest. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"It's nothing, sir. Go back to sleep."

"I don't sleep. You know that."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You were snoring less than a minute ago. Do you snore while you're awake?"

"Maybe I do."

"Then that's a recent development," Ianto replied.

"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked him again, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"The meaning of life, the universe, and everything."

Jack snorted. "That's easy, Ianto. Forty-two."

Ianto shifted in the small bed to look at him. "How do you know that?"

"You don't get to be my age without learning a thing or two."

"I suppose not."

"Would you please tell me what's bothering you?" Jack insisted. "Is it the baby?"

"We have that appointment tomorrow morning," Ianto explained, "and while I know you were the one to suggest we look into different agencies, I get the feeling we're not on the same page about this adoption."

Jack sighed, removing his arm from around Ianto's body and rolling onto his back. "It's what you've decided you wanted, isn't it?"

"It's what's necessary," Ianto corrected. "I couldn't live with myself if I terminated the pregnancy."

"And keeping it?"

"Isn't an option. I've no intention of leaving Torchwood."

Jack stiffened beside him. "Who said anything about leaving Torchwood? I told you that you could be taken out of the field to make it safer."

"While I'm pregnant, yes."

"No, Ianto. I meant after the baby was born, as well."

Ianto sat up, turning to face him. "You'd let me stay with Torchwood but work entirely inside the Hub."

"You practically do now anyway," Jack replied, putting his arms underneath his head.

"And when there's a large rift spike? What then?"

"We'd deal with it."

"The four of you."

"Yes," said Jack. "The four of us."

"And I would be stuck here with a baby."

Jack sat up, pushing himself back against the wall and folding his arms over his chest. He sat watching Ianto for a moment before he said, "You resent this baby, don't you?"

"What?"

"You resent the fact that you got pregnant, that you're going to have to make a decision regarding the fate of this child."

Ianto scowled. "That's ridiculous, sir. I've already made up my mind."

"Have you?" Jack challenged.

"Yes."

"Then why did it take you three weeks to make an appointment with an adoption agency?"

Ianto felt flustered. "I already told you I would do it."

"Yes, you did. And as I said to you before, you are never that slow about anything."

"Are we going to have this fight again, sir? Because I think I'd prefer to be dressed."

"Just answer me, Ianto," Jack demanded. "If you'd already made up your mind, why hadn't you called immediately?"

"I had other priorities, sir."

"And what would those be?"

"Keeping this base running, for one thing," Ianto replied, feeling a bit miffed. "Making sure all the reports get done on time, keeping you from insulting heads of state, feeding our team and our guests…"

"And dealing with the baby gets in the way."

"Yes! I shouldn't have to be thinking about what I'm drinking, or how much I'm eating, but I do. I have to because I can't have caffeine. It's bad for the baby. And I can't live of takeaways now because I will gain weight. More weight."

Jack leaned forward. "All of this for a baby you don't want to keep. A baby that is changing your life even though you won't be its father."

"That's not fair," Ianto cried, putting his head in his hands. "This isn't what I signed up for when we started this thing between us. Two men do not have children."

"What? They adopt children all the time!"

"Yes, Jack, exactly. They commit to each other in front of their friends and family and the law, and then they adopt. They don't get up the duff by their immortal, fifty-first century bosses!"

"Hey," Jack said, holding up his hand. "This baby has nothing to do with where I'm from, or what I am. You can't blame this on me! There happens to be alien influence involved."

"I'm not trying to blame you, Jack," Ianto said, sighing. "I'm just explaining why I can't keep this child."

"And what if I wanted to?"

"You can't make me keep it."

"I didn't say you had to," Jack replied. "I asked what if I wanted to keep it."

Ianto frowned. "You can't keep our child if I don't want it."

"I don't see why not."

Ianto looked at him like he'd gone mad. "You'd raise our child without any help from me?"

"If I had to, yes," said Jack.

"And where would I go, sir?" Ianto asked.

"That's up to you. If you couldn't work here knowing that I was raising our child, then…"

"Oh my God," Ianto said, voice hiding none of his hurt. "You would raise this child even knowing that I couldn't be a part of its life. As if I didn't exist. That's unfair to the child. Unfair to me!"

Jack folded his arms again. "I won't deny I'd like to have this baby, Ianto. You're asking me to give up a child that I want to have because you can't see how it fits into your life. Which one of us is being unfair?"

Ianto swallowed the lump in his throat. "Why did you give me the list of adoption agencies?"

"Because I wanted to make things easier for you, Ianto. You'd made up your mind and I was resigned to the fact that I wouldn't be able to change it."

"But you want this baby."

"Yes."

"And you're going to be angry at me if I give this child up for adoption."

Jack sighed loudly. "Not angry, Ianto. Just extremely disappointed. I want you to want this baby as much as I do."

"I…I can't, Jack," he admitted, flexing his fingers before dropping his hands to his knees. "I can't be a father."

"Why? And don't tell me it's because we live a dangerous life. Plenty of people do and they're still able to raise children."

"I won't live that much longer."

Jack tilted his head. "Because of Torchwood, you mean?" Ianto nodded. "Ianto, you will live plenty long enough to raise this child. Especially if you're not out in the field."

"I would make a lousy father."

"You're compassionate, protective, courageous, not to mention organized and well-versed in domestic responsibilities. Exactly how would you make a lousy father?"

"It's in my blood," Ianto murmured, looking down at his hands. "Everything I know about being a father I learned from my own."

Jack moved closer, laying his own hands over Ianto's. "You are not your dad, Ianto. You would never treat your family the way your dad treated yours."

Ianto shook his head. "It was only me," he corrected, sadly. "He loved my mam. And he loved my sister."

Jack tilted his chin up, meeting his eyes. "You said he was abusive when he drank."

"Yes. As his father was before him."

"And he drank after your mother passed away and your sister moved out."

"Yes," Ianto said again.

"Then he would have treated them the same way had they been there, Ianto. You didn't do anything to encourage his abuse."

"It doesn't matter," Ianto told him. "I'm still the product of an abusive father."

"And that doesn't mean you would be the same way," Jack replied, pulling him close. He came reluctantly, letting Jack wrap his arms around him. "You can break that cycle."

Ianto felt tears welling up in his eyes. "I can't, Jack."

"I believe you can."

"If I hurt the baby…"

"You wouldn't, Ianto," Jack replied, rocking him gently. "You wouldn't."

Ianto allowed himself to be rocked, feeling his tears threaten to fall as he clung to the other man. He'd never had this discussion with anyone else. He hadn't wanted to admit his fears, or let someone see just what his father had done to him. Jack knew of his father's drunken rages, but he hadn't told him his father once pushed him so hard on a swing he fell off and broke his leg. His father had always been too rough, too physical.

"I don't think I can do it, Jack," he choked out.

"Shh. Hey, it's okay. Let's just get some sleep, alright?" Jack maneuvered him until he was once more lying down, covering him with the blankets. "It's late."

Ianto blinked back his tears, nodding. Jack got under the covers beside him and drew him into his arms. "We'll talk about this more later."

Ianto nodded, trying to get comfortable. But it was several hours before Ianto was exhausted enough to fall asleep.