He followed Merlin through the castle again, heading up a spiral staircase into the one of the more run down areas of the castle. His muscles still ached from the exertion that he had been put through, but he was entirely used to feeling aches and pains. Merlin turned a corner, heading up a short flight of stairs. Arthur paused and glanced at the small sign that was pinned to the wall. The wood looked rotten and the words faded, not that it mattered; Arthur couldn't read anyway so he had no idea what had been written on the sign.
Merlin opened the door and paused in the doorway as Arthur caught up to him.
"Gaius?"
Even Merlin jumped as the old man appeared from behind the door, scowling at Merlin in disapproval before he turned and hobbled across the room.
"Oh, it's you!"
"Nice to see you as well Gaius," Merlin drawled walking into the room, looking over the untidy contents of the desk. Arthur stepped over the threshold and carefully closed the door behind him, looking around at the room. Jars and bottles lay everywhere, bundles of herbs hung from a low beam and lay across a bench on the far side of the room. The scent of lavender, sage and thyme combined as Arthur took a deep breath. The old man looked up at Merlin, reaching out to pat his shoulder.
"You know I'm pleased to see you, it's only taken you a day to get round to it."
"Sorry," Merlin said, sounding genuinely contrite. He sat down on a nearby chair, resting his elbows on his knees and cupping his chin in his hands. "How have you been?"
Gaius scowled at him. "Have Guinevere and Elyan been telling tales?"
"They care about you," Merlin said. "And they worry."
Gaius huffed, picking up a bottle and pouring a little out into a bowl. Reaching up he plucked a few leaves from one of the bundles and dropped them into the liquid. Picking up a pestle Gaius started to grind the leaves to power, mixing them into the liquid.
"I don't see why," Gaius told him.
Merlin raised his eyebrows. Elyan had already warned him that Gaius' behaviour was coming increasingly erratic.
"There's no problem if we need his skills as a physician," Elyan had said. "His mind's as sharp as a blade then. But Gwen has to take him food and almost force feed him. There are times he seems to forget what day it is."
Elyan had shrugged helplessly.
"It's like he completely forgets days. I've stopped him going out on his own now. He went foraging one day, and I don't know if he forgot the way home, or he lost track of time, but he was still out there an hour or so before dusk. When I found him, he seemed completely oblivious, the basket piled with all sorts of things."
"How long has this been going on?" Merlin had asked.
"Worse the last few months," Elyan said. "There had always been the odd thing. Gwen keeps a close eye on him, like I said, she takes him food, makes sure he stays warm and rests properly. She's like a mother hen and he complains about it, but I don't think there is anything else we can do. He refuses to move from that turret room."
Now, after a short pause while he observed Gaius, Merlin sat back, giving an over-dramatic sigh. "No, I don't know why they care about you either, you're grumpy, and rude."
Gaius turned his head sharply, scowling at a now grinning Merlin. Eventually Gaius smiled back, rolling his eyes.
"I'm perfectly fine, they don't need to fuss over me."
"You know Gwen, she loves fussing."
"I am not a pet!" Gaius said.
"No, you're a grumpy old genius. And on that subject have you got anything to soothe muscle pain?"
"I should think so," Gaius said discarding the potion in the bowl to turn around and rummage in a cupboard filled with jars. Merlin rolled his eyes and picking up the bowl carried on where Gaius had left off. Arthur waited by the door, watching quietly. Gaius pulled out a squat, round jar and bringing it back dumped it on the table before snatching the bowl back from Merlin. Merlin raised his hands in surrender.
"Sorry, just trying to help."
"Yes, well, if you want to help then I have three doses of a cold remedy to make, put together a vial of oil for rheumatism, mix up a dose of herbal tea for Maria's morning sickness. Not to mention the leech tank needs cleaning."
"I have preparations to make for the Equinox celebrations."
"And that reminds me, I have to make up the mix for the wine," Gaius added. "Perhaps you'd like the clean the leech tank."
"Er, no, thank you..." Merlin said causing Gaius to huff. Then Merlin turned towards Arthur, still carefully lingering by the door. "Arthur could help you though, I don't need him this afternoon so he could make himself useful here."
Arthur blinked, whatever he was told to do, he would just simply get on with, although his muscles throbbed, reminding him that they had already done quite enough. Gaius looked up and stared at him, he hadn't even noticed Arthur stood there until Merlin pointed him out. As Merlin was also looking at Arthur he didn't see Gaius's reaction as the man stared at the prince, eyes widening, his face flickering with different emotions. By the time Merlin turned around again Gaius's face as calmed down, returning to it's general sternness.
"Well, I need to get these things done, I suppose he could make himself useful," the old man announced grudgingly. He turned away, hobbling across the room to pick up a book, opening it up and dumping it down next to the bowl on the table. Merlin slowly stood up, picking up the jar of cream that Gaius had dumped by his side.
"Let's do this first," Merlin said, nodding his head in the direction of the chair. "Sit down Arthur, shirt off."
Shuffling forward Arthur lifted the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head. For a moment he couldn't see the two people in the room so he did not see the looks on their faces as they saw his skin. Arthur didn't think anything of it as he sat down and Merlin's expression remained tightly controlled. Without saying a word he gathered a generous amount of cream onto his fingers and distributed it on Arthur's right shoulder, feeling him tense as the cold substance touched his skin. Merlin gently started to massage the cream in, digging into Arthur's sore muscles and gently rotating his shoulder joint. Arthur gave the occasional wince but had to admit once the cream warmed against his skin his aching muscles felt better. While he worked Merlin assessed the lines that marred Arthur's back, the raised scars evidence of the abuse he had suffered. Leaning forward Merlin caught a brief glimpse of a scar that ran in a diagonal line across his chest, intersecting Arthur's left nipple. There were other marks that Merlin couldn't see clearly but even he didn't want to be so tactless as to make Arthur stand there while he examined them. Merlin knew enough to know that Arthur wouldn't care. If Merlin told him to stand there while he looked him over then that is exactly what Arthur would do, not caring about the damage. That was nothing more than an occupational hazard.
It did make Merlin wondered what scars marked him lower down. Not that he was about to strip Arthur off and find out. Instead he calmly finished what he was doing and Arthur slowly put his shirt back on.
"You're probably still going to feel a little stiff, although a bit of activity won't hurt. You can stay here for the afternoon to help Gaius."
"Yes, My Lord," Arthur said. Merlin glanced up at Gaius.
"I'll come back to collect him later on, that or I'll send Percival."
"Yes, yes," Gaius muttered turning back to his book and grinding the leaves. Arthur watched, feeling a little perturbed at being left in with the old man, but he didn't feel entirely certain of how to explain that. Merlin disappeared off. As soon as the door shut Arthur slowly got to his feet, expecting to get some instruction as to what to do. He got the horrible feeling he would end up dealing with the grimy looking tank. He pulled on the hem of his shirt and glanced at Gaius, who had put the bowl down again.
"What should I…?" Arthur started and stopped with a startled yelp as Gaius suddenly stepped forward and engulfed him in a rough hug, the old man's arms displaying a surprising amount of strength. Arthur didn't stop him, he felt too stunned to response.
"Oh, my boy!" Gaius said, his voice sounding oddly thick. He pulled back and looked Arthur up and down, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. Arthur remained silent, shocked into immobility by the sudden display, not entirely understanding it. Gaius patted up and down Arthur's arms, as if checking his was real, then reached up to touch his face. Arthur tensed with a ripple of tension, but Gaius didn't appear to notice it. He stared at Arthur intently.
"You do have so much of your mother in you," Gaius announced before dragging Arthur back into a bone crushing hug. Arthur flopped into it, his body pliant as his mind reeled, processing the comment. He thought about it, someone living, rather insistently, in an old, otherwise abandoned area of the castle. As if it was his. Maybe, it occurred to Arthur, he had been here before Camelot was lost. How else could Gaius know he was like his mother? Even Arthur had never considered that, whether or not he looked like one of his parents. He hadn't even realised he had done it when he wrapped an arm around Gaius' waist, resting one hand against his back. Gaius patted Arthur on the back, holding him with far more enthusiasm. In the end Arthur carefully endured the hug, which Gaius didn't seem to want to end. However, they couldn't stay like that forever. Arthur wondered, as Gaius released him, if he had started to sense his discomfort as the gesture was performed with some regret.
"I'll make some tea," Gaius announced, still staring at Arthur glassy eyed. He gave Arthur's arms one last squeeze and he shuffled off to locate the pot to heat the water.
"Erm… should I do that?" Arthur said.
"No, no, I'm fine."
"Well, I could do something, if you've got lots to do," Arthur said. He couldn't not make himself useful, if nothing else Merlin had told him to do so. Arthur wondered if Merlin's actions had been deliberate. Leaving him with someone who had known him, had known his mother. Occupying himself would at least help to settle his nerves while he processed the information.
"Oh, there's no need, none of it will take me very long. Moaning about it just means they won't take me for granted."
Arthur frowned, shifting nervously, biting on his lower lip. Gaius looked up, staring at him sharply. He clearly realised that Arthur, shifting about, needed something to do. Gaius waved a hand in the direction of several piles of herbs.
"Those herbs need tying and hanging, there's twine there."
Arthur grabbed the twine, and a nearby knife to cut it with before heading around to the herbs. Carefully he cut lengths of string and wound them around the stems of some parsley before knotting it and picking up the bundle eyed the rack above his head carefully.
"How should I…" He eyed the other bundles already hanging.
"So I can reach them, without them being in the way," Gaius said, rooting in a jar for his tea mix. "You really don't have to."
"I'm not good at sitting still," Arthur said reaching up to carefully string up the first bundle, then he cut more twine for the next one. "And I don't want to annoy my master."
Gaius huffed. "If you mean Merlin, I'll think you'll find that rather difficult. Now once you've done that the tea will be ready, you can sit down and have a drink."
Arthur couldn't seem to argue with the old man, as he eventually retook the seat he had occupied previously and sipped nervously at the drink. Gaius kept looking at him, his eyes hardly believing that he was seeing Arthur. After a short spell of silence, Arthur's curiosity eventually got the better of him.
"I'm sorry; but did you know my mother?"
Gaius reached out to grasp Arthur's forearm.
"I did, and your father. I was here when you father was king. I'm so sorry I couldn't help you, all those years ago. Alice couldn't stop them taking you."
Arthur frowned, the vague memory flickering again, of the woman, who had tried to hold onto him. Her name was Alice then, Arthur mused. The knowledge didn't make the memory any clearer. Gaius looked at him expectantly. Arthur didn't hesitate as he said.
"I don't remember, I don't remember any of it," he said.
It was not a complete lie, but he had known Gaius for no more than ten minutes. He was not about to open up and tell him. Arthur had never mentioned it to anyone, and however effusive his welcome had been Arthur didn't feel inclined to trust Gaius, or anyone with that snippet. There was nobody he knew well enough to have such a personal conversation with, and that was something not to be thought about.
Gaius gave a heavy, sad sigh. "I tried. You were only a child, no harm to anyone. I tried to keep you, but no one would listen, and they just took you away."
Arthur frowned, unsure if he really wanted to hear this. He stared down into the tea, taking a small sip for the want of something to do. Arthur wished Merlin hadn't left him here. He put the cup back down again as he realised the tea within rippled as his hand shook.
"I don't know. I don't remember," Arthur said. "No one has ever told me anything, except that I was a prince, of Camelot, somewhere that doesn't exist any more. I don't know anything about it."
"You know nothing?" Gaius asked.
Arthur shook his head. "No," he whispered quietly. "I've never thought about it. People told me who I was, but what did it matter?" He gave a shrug, dismissing the thought. "I'm just a slave, I always have been. I don't know any different."
And it had never bothered him. Not really. Thoughts that his situation seemed unfair were swiftly pushed aside. He had seen other people abused, the poor, those struggling to survive and hold onto what little they had. Arthur knew he could do nothing more but let events happen and then carry on. Why had he even asked the question about his mother? he asked himself.
He kept his head down, feeling Gaius' eyes on him. Arthur battled with the rising tide of feelings, as part of him demanded the answers, but another side pushed the thoughts as far back as it could. He could easily tell himself it was better not to know. Slowly he raised his head.
"Do you want me to clean the leech tank?"
Gaius looked at him for a moment and then smiled. "No, I used to make Merlin do it when he was younger, just for my amusement. The leeches like it the way it is. You can help mix the cold remedies, the ingredients need to be stirred as they simmer."
"Okay. What should I...?"
"Fetch me that pot, the brown one over there," Gaius said pointing across the room.
For the next few minutes Arthur followed Gaius' instructions, fetching, carrying and eventually sitting and stirring the potion as it simmered. The atmosphere relaxed over that time, until Gaius spoke again.
"Of course Camelot used to be the strongest kingdom, until the other kings, and those with magic rose against your father."
Arthur blinked and looked up, something stirred in his belly, a cold fluttering sensation. He wanted to know and didn't want to know. Arthur wanted to make sense of the world around him, but equally couldn't see how knowing any more would help him.
"Why?" he found himself asking involuntarily.
"The Great Purge, your father sought out and killed many who had magic and who used sorcery. They were killed in their hundreds."
Arthur stared up at Gaius, jaw dropping and eyes widening as he listened to him.
"Keep stirring that!" Gaius snapped. Arthur jumped to attention, looking down into the bubbling pot and resuming the circling of the spoon within the liquid, swirling the colours together.
"Sorry. Hundreds of people?"
"People were experimenting will all sorts of powers. I know, I was one of them. Maybe we didn't realise the consequences of such actions, your father realised the horror of it."
"How?"
"Because of your mother," Gaius said. "Uther asked for help, when his queen, Igraine, your mother, couldn't seem to conceive a child. He asked a sorceress, Nimueh for help. But to create a life, the balance must be restored. Your mother died, soon after you were born. She paid the price. With such an action Uther chose to see all acts of magic as evil."
Arthur's eyes stared up at Gaius, wide with shock. He stirred the liquid in the pot without really seeing it.
"So it's my fault."
"You were a child Arthur. My boy, you cannot be blamed for what happened. The choices that were made caused your creation. You had no hand in the events. Move that from the flames now, keep stirring it as it cools."
Arthur did as he was told, moving the pot to one side, settling it on the table and continuing to stir it. He stared at the swirling liquid, his mind moving in the same way, going over and over what Gaius had just said. That was why people hated him. Arthur could hardly comprehend it. He knew the kingdom had fallen, and he had been kept as some kind of example but what he had just learnt justified that. Even he couldn't argue with what had happened.
"Let me see that now," Gaius said. "Can you crush those seeds for me, grind them into powder."
Gaius turned and looked at Arthur. He looked stunned as he picked up the pestle and mortar to do as Gaius asked. Reaching out Gaius touched Arthur's blond hair, causing him to flinch visibly.
"Oh, my boy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think that you were to blame for anything. Trust me, it was not like that. I'm just sorry I couldn't protect you."
Arthur shrugged. It didn't matter. If Gaius wanted to protect him then he was the only one who truly did.
"Those seeds need to be put into that bowl, and a small amount of that oil added, the one in the green jar; it needs mixing with it. Add a few small drops and then stir it, you need to make a paste," Gaius said, suddenly retracting from him. Arthur looked up in surprise, reaching for the bottle and doing as Gaius instructed. He understood why the physician did as he had as the door opened and Merlin strolled in, with Balinor directly behind him. Arthur got the feeling that the old physician's hearing was still in good order.
"Everything all right Gaius?" Merlin asked.
"Perfectly; tea?" he asked, and without waiting for an answer he hobbled off to retrieve two more cups and poured out some tea from the one he had brewed a short while ago. Arthur stirred the paste, grinding the seeds down a little further. Gaius peered over his shoulder.
"That's slightly too thick, add a few more drops of oil."
Arthur obliged, staring intently at what he was doing to avoid Balinor's gaze. The Dragonlord watched him carefully, which made Arthur wonder if he somehow knew what they had talked about. He could presumably guess that Gaius would talk. Concentrating on the work he had been given was probably Arthur's best defence, he had done quite a bit while he had been there, to justify the fact that was all he had done.
As Gaius brought the tea back, Arthur held the bowl up for further inspection.
"That's fine, we need a clean jar to put it in. Over there."
Arthur went to rummage for something useable. He found one that looked reasonably clean and started to wash it out.
"I think you should have got Arthur to wash up," Merlin observed. "And you didn't make him do the leech tank."
"I thought I would save that for you," Gaius chuckled. Merlin sipped his tea and then glanced at Arthur, who had emptied the paste into the jar, fastening the lid carefully, and he had also washed out the bowl. There was nothing else for him to do so Arthur lingered by the table, waiting for his next instruction. Merlin glanced at him and then took a large swallow of tea.
"I still have things to do, do you need Arthur to help you with anything else Gaius?"
Gaius looked up, and shook his head. "No, I think almost everything is done. He's been very helpful, thank you."
Merlin smiled. "Okay, and stop giving Gwen such a hard time."
"I do not give her a hard time," Gaius informed him. "She just doesn't need to fuss so much."
"As far as I am concerned Gwen can fuss as much as she likes. Come on Arthur."
"Yes, My Lord," Arthur said tailing out of the room. Gaius looked at the dregs of the tea.
"I'll make a fresh batch, if you are planning on staying for a while," Gaius said to Balinor.
"What did you say to the boy?"
Gaius looked up. "Why would I say anything to him?"
Balinor's shoulders squared slightly and he glared at Gaius.
"I know you well enough."
"Do you now?" Gaius snarled, hobbling off to pour the remaining water from his teapot out of the window and he came back to fill it with more water, from the bucket that Gwen had left earlier that day, and he rummaged for his herb mix to make the infusion.
"It was a shock to see him, after all these years, but what good would it do to tell the poor boy anything."
"You sympathised with Uther."
Gaius banged the pot holding his tea mix down on the counter, sending a billow of crushed herbs into the air.
"I did not, but even I had to admit the natural order was in danger of falling into chaos. I still fail to see what harm a small boy could have done!"
"He could not remain in Camelot!"
"Then I was willing to take him elsewhere," Gaius said. "He could have lived a simple life. You were the one that chose to offer him up to the path he is on now."
Balinor stepped forward, moving into Gaius' personal space.
"And you forget what his father did to my wife, your friend; and Hunith's unborn child!"
Gaius looked up, eyes glittering, bitterness in his voice as he spoke.
"Uther destroyed the life of your child, I know that. I saw what he did, and no I cannot justify that; just as I cannot justify destroying the life of another innocent child in retaliation. You may say that you were stopping Uther's madness, but only by becoming exactly like him."
Gaius' tone stayed low, every word he said heavy with meaning. Balinor snarled, leaning forward so he all but loomed over Gaius. Gaius didn't look up, he turned back to what he was doing but he remained aware of the furious tension in the Dragonlord's body.
"Remember, old man, you are only here by sufferance," Balinor's voice rumbled.
Gaius huffed, fed up with the intimidation. He turned away from Balinor to concentrate on pouring the boiling water into the pot.
"I am here because it is my home and I choose to stay. The mistakes of the past will continue, unless we learn from them."
Balinor exhaled heavily, but Gaius took away his indignation by moving away from him, heading slowly up the stairs into the room beyond. Balinor stared at Gaius' stooped shoulders for a moment, then Gaius closed the door behind him, shutting the Dragonlord firmly out.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX
Arthur turned down the bedspread, shifting some of the cushions out of the way, and plumping the pillows ready for Merlin's return. The fire burned low and Arthur had lit some of the candles in readiness for Merlin's return. He did not know where his master had gone but Merlin had ordered Arthur to ready his room and then go to bed. Arthur couldn't argue with that, he ached all over and wouldn't mind the idea of curling up in his bedroll, in the small room opposite Merlin's.
As he moved to the door Arthur checked the room over carefully. The flames glowed in the room, but only a few had been lit, which he could safely leave and he had put out a platter of food. Percival had accompanied Merlin and even if his master didn't feel hungry, Arthur was sure Percival would want something. Merlin's bedclothes had been laid out, and Arthur had left a clothes horse ready for Merlin to leave his garments on.
Everything looked to be in it's place, Arthur opened the door and carefully closed it. As he turned he gasped as two soldiers appeared from nowhere and grabbed an arm each, one hand fixing on his wrists and the other on his upper arms. They spun him round and marched him down the corridor, dragging him along. Arthur said nothing, fear causing his stomach to clench, a cold fist of dread tightening in his belly.
He lost direction after the second turn, but he got pulled up a flight of stairs and moved down a corridor and through a set of open doors. As they entered the room the guards paused.
"Strip him," a familiar voice announced.
Arthur knew his place, given the command he would have obeyed but instead the guards pulled at his clothes. They ripped the material away from him, pushing him forward and Arthur, well trained as he was, dropped down onto his hands and knees, lowering his head. His boots and trousers were dragged clear and he stayed still, cold air ghosting over his skin, causing goosepimples to rise. Footsteps behind him told him the guards were now leaving and the clicking of the door echoed around the room. Arthur lifted his eyes enough to see Bayard's face and then he looked down again.
Someone moved in from the side and Arthur glanced at the pair of boots and the cloak that he knew belonged to Balinor. He had seen them when the Dragonlord had acted as backup for Merlin when the bandits had attacked.
"You have him until morning," Balinor's voice rumbled, and his boots moved away.
Arthur's eyes widened. Hands grabbed him, pulling him upwards and a few steps forwards, his arms were wrenched upwards, causing his sore muscles to ache, and he felt the cold metal of shackles around his wrists. Shadows moved around him, he didn't register who they were. He knew Bayard was there, he had heard his voice. The others could be anyone, the entirety of Bayard's household could be there and they had the right to do what they wanted to him.
Someone grabbed his hair dragging on it to force his chin up. They moved close, brushing against him. Arthur heard a voice, one that pushed on the edges of his mind, one he knew but it struggled through the maze of his memories to be known. What he knew of it was that he didn't want to hear it. Arthur relaxed into the chains, at least he knew what would come, and in some ways it felt safe. After the revelations of the day, and the expectations Merlin had of him, it felt safe to sink back into what was to come. To know there would be pain, horrible but familiar, but known.
"Welcome home," the voice growled, and then a second later, the pain started.