A/N: Well, this will DEFINITELY make up for the last chapter (I hope, anyway lol). This is the Star. You know what the Star symbolizes? Love. Hope. Joy. Great love being given and received. This is a BEAUTIFUL card and this chapter is … full of good things. Enjoy it. We're not finished yet, but hopefully you will see now that I do not have evil intentions. Also, this chapter is just enormous. It's over 5,000 words long. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED.

Chapter Seventeen
The Star
"You are the best thing that's ever been mine … "

Emma spent most of the trip north in the hold of the ship. It was a small enough vessel — a skiff, Killian had called it, and it had come with a small crew of its own, so there was no need for her to help sail it. Not that she would have been any help any way. He had been so excited about teaching her the ropes of sailing. But what was the point now? And there was no reason for her to be on deck, taking in her surroundings.

It wasn't like she'd remember them any way.

It was unfathomable to her to think that this, all of it, was going to be erased from her mind. She'd have no memory of her first glimpse of Neverland, no memory of the magic she had seen and felt and actually believed here.

No memory of Killian's eyes or his smile, or the way he touched her. No way to recall that infuriating smirk or the way he could turn the most innocent phrase into something filthy.

She wouldn't remember lifting that pile of rubble and getting her first glimpse of him, the way her heart had done a funny little flip the moment his ocean blue eyes had locked with hers.

No memory of all those mornings back in Storybrooke, where they had sat and talked for hours before the sun came up, before her family woke for the day.

No memory of loving him, no memory of their bodies intertwined, fitting perfectly together as though they belonged like that.

Worst of all … she wouldn't remember that she'd been in love.

She wanted to cry again, but all she felt was numb. Every once in awhile, she'd hear him call her name from up on deck, but she never answered.

None of this mattered, and it was shattering her. She'd thought that this … this thing she'd embarked on, oh so long ago with Killian was the most important thing she'd done with her life since having Henry.

But it was nothing. It would be nothing. Not even a page in her history. Not even a dream.

She hugged her arms around her knees, drawing them up to her chest. She just sat there, ignoring everything around her, like a sad and broken little girl who had lost everything that ever mattered to her.

Again.

She must've slept at some point, because she woke up on the floor, her back pressed against the wall and a terrible crick in her neck. She hoped that they were close to the Hollow now. She couldn't go on like this.

Once she was home, she supposed she'd be better. But she didn't want to be better. She wanted to be with him.

With a sigh, she stood up, stretching out her back. She made her way up to the deck, blinking a bit against the sunlight and the cool salt breeze that greeted her and tangled its fingers through her blonde hair.

"Emma!"

She closed her eyes, wishing she could block out his voice, hating the way it affected her, the way it stirred her senses and awakened her very soul.

Her mouth was a thin line as he approached, one of the crew members taking over the steering of the ship for now.

"You know there's a cabin onboard this ship, right?" he asked her, cocking an eyebrow. Emma wondered how bad she looked.

"I'm fine," she said coolly. "What did you want?"

He blew out an exasperated breath. "Well, for one, the attitude's got to go, love."

Her brow furrowed. She knew she was being a bitch right now, but she just didn't see how she could possibly pretend like things were okay. "What do you want from me, Killian?" she snapped. "I'm barely able to make myself stand up, let alone … "

"Come here," he said, and his tone brooked no room for argument, but she did any way.

"Why?"

"Because I bloody well asked you to!" he shouted. "Is that not reason enough?"

Sighing heavily, she walked over to him, a little unsteady on her feet as the small boat rocked beneath her. "What?" she said.

He looped his hook around her wrist and pulled her in close, and for a moment, Emma thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, he lead her toward the front of the ship — was it called the bow? She couldn't remember — and pointed.

Despite everything, Emma couldn't help but gasp when she saw the small island that loomed in front of them now, growing ever nearer. It, like everything else in Neverland, seemed to glow, but instead of a rainbow of colors … it was golden. Bright and shining like a beacon, and it felt … it felt like it was calling to her.

"What is that place?" she asked, turning her head just enough to look at him. He was behind her now, and she could feel him surrounding her.

"The Hollow," he said, and his breath was tickling her ear. "Home of the fairies."

"So … we've made it," she said glumly.

"Few more hours til we make land," he told her, his arms going about her waist then.

Emma stiffened a little at first, but then sighed, letting herself rest against him. She was tired of fighting with herself about all the things that had gone wrong. She just wanted … she just wanted to exist right now. With him. "That's not very long." She felt his lips in her hair, and she closed her eyes, not wanting to start crying again. "I just can't imagine going back to a world where you don't exist."

"You've got it easy, love," he said. "You're not the one with the burden of the memories."

She frowned as the reality of that sunk it. She'd been just terrible to him ever since she'd learned what was going to happen, thinking that none of it mattered any more.

But it did matter.

Because he was going to remember all of it.

Suddenly she was ashamed. "I'm sorry," she told him. "I'm so sorry."

"Just … do me one favor?" he said.

"Anything," she said, and she truly meant it. It was the least she could do, after all.

Instead of speaking, he turned her around then, his eyes roaming her face as though he meant to memorize it. He let his hand rest on her cheek, his thumb brushing away an errant teardrop that had spilled onto her cheek.

"So what's the favor?" she asked him in a whisper.

"Oh, that. Well, I haven't decided yet," he said with that familiar smirk. "It's the last favor I'm going to get from you, I want to make sure it's a good one."

She laughed a little, in spite of herself, rolling her eyes. "Of course," she said, trying her best to ignore the stabbing pain she felt in her heart right now.

He leaned in then, and she was on her tiptoes, her fingers in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.

No sooner had their lips touched, when out of the corner of her eye, Emma noticed a tiny dot of light, growing closer and closer. She pulled back a little then, frowning. "What the hell is that?"

"What the hell is what?" Killian said, obviously annoyed at the interruption. "Get back here."

"No, there's something coming."

"Well, I can tell you what's not coming," he said dryly.

She smacked his shoulder. "Oh my God, shut up," she said, trying not to laugh. "Seriously, what is that?" She pointed, and Killian's gaze followed.

"It's a bloody nuisance is what it is!" he said, shouting a bit in exasperation.

Emma blinked. "Why are you yelling at the … little … glowing thing?"

"Oh, because I'm gonna get my yelling in before she does."

"She?"

Suddenly the little light was zooming in and around Emma's head. She could hear a very faint sort of chiming sound then, and Killian just sighed. "Yes, yes, get it out of your system." More chiming. He rolled his eyes then. "I'm quite certain you can't make that assumption after two seconds, love." He looked back to Emma then. "She doesn't like you."

"Huh?" Emma was completely confused at this point … and a little offended.

"Don't worry, she never likes anyone on first meeting. Isn't that right, Tink?"

Emma's eyes widened as the small little light started to grow bigger, taking on a more human form as it did. She blinked, shielding her eyes a bit from the glow, which finally faded out to reveal a gorgeous, petite young woman, with short platinum blonde hair, a pert, upturned nose that was sprinkled with freckles, and green eyes that seemed to be lit from within. She was dressed all in green, and on closer inspection, Emma saw that her clothing seemed to be made of … leaves?

Emma opened her mouth to say something, but didn't get the chance. "First of all, I didn't say I didn't like you, he's just being an ass. Shocking, I know." Tinkerbell rolled her eyes and Emma bit back a grin. "And as for you… " She turned to Killian then.

"All right, let's have it, then," he said with a heavy sigh, giving Emma a sidelong, apologetic look.

Instead of yelling, though, Tinkerbell just stared at him for a long, long time, her face a mask of questions that Emma didn't understand. Killian stood there, his own face stoic, as though he understood exactly what was going on. He looked for all the world like a man awaiting judgement.

After several seemingly interminable minutes, Tinkerbell's face split into a wide grin and she threw her arms around him. "You're back you're back you're back you're back!"

Emma saw the surprise on Killian's face for a split second before he returned Tink's hug, laughing a bit. "Aye, I'm back." It wasn't lost on Emma, the sadness in his tone then, though she really didn't understand what was going on.

Just as quickly as she'd hugged him, Tink gave him a shove away then, but she was smiling brightly. "It's good to see you, Peter."

"And you, you bloody annoying pixie." Tink made a face at him.

Emma felt a little like she was intruding, so she started to back away. She could go back to the hold for now, give them a chance to catch up. She felt a warm hand on her wrist then, stopping her.

"Wait wait wait wait wait! Where are you going?" Tink demanded. "We haven't even had a chance to talk yet!" She pouted a little.

"I just didn't want … to intrude," Emma said, her eyes glancing back at Killian then.

"Intrude on what?" Tink asked, eyebrow cocked, scrutinizing Emma's face closely. Man, she was another one of those personal space invaders. Was that a Neverland thing or what? Tink burst out laughing then, and the sound was like million tiny bells. "Oh, Emma, you silly!" she giggled. "You can stop thinking those thoughts right now!"

"I wasn't thinking … " Emma started to protest.

"You were. You can't lie to a pixie," Tink said. "But just believe me when I say … ew." She glanced back at Killian, making a face of disgust.

"Oy, I'm standing right here," Killian said, offended.

Tink gave him a sweet smile. "Do you mind? Emma and I are talking. Go swab a deck or something," she said, waving her hand dismissively, and Emma laughed a little.

Killian threw up his arms and rolled his eyes. "Why do I even bloody bother?"

"Ignore him," Tink said, turning back to Emma. Emma glanced back at Killian and he winked at her. "Ugh, are you still here?" Tink said, annoyed. "Go! Shoo!" Much to Emma's surprise, he actually did.

"Wow, how did you do that?" Emma laughed. "He never listens to me."

"Years and years of blackmail," Tink said with a nod. "He's just afraid I'm going to tell all sorts of stories about him."

She let her voice carry then and Killian turned around and gave her a warning look. "Tinkerbell," he said.

"Peter," she said, mocking his serious tone before turning back to Emma. She sighed and rolled her eyes, then took Emma's hand and led her over toward the railing of the ship. "You're a little freaked out right now," Tink said, and it wasn't a question.

"I've got a lot on my mind," Emma said with a shrug.

"He told you about the pixie dust," she said. "And you're … unhappy."

"Of course I am!" Emma said, a little offended that the fairy even had to ask.

"Do you love him, Emma?"

"What?" Emma asked, shifting uncomfortably under Tinkerbell's close scrutiny. "I mean … I … "

"Yes or no, Emma. Do you love him?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"Does he know that?"

Emma frowned, tugging nervously at the sleeve of her sweater.

"Didn't think so. You might think about telling him," Tink said. "True love is a pretty powerful source of magic."

Emma's frowned deepened. "True love is for fairy tales," she said. "Besides, didn't he already have that?"

"What, you mean Milah?" Tink asked, making a face. "I have no idea what happened with that woman … I mean I know what happened, but I … " She sighed heavily. "Look, the last time I saw Peter was right after Milah died, right after he lost his hand. He came back here, but he was not the boy who lived here so very long ago. There was nothing in him that resembled that boy any more. He did … terrible things. He was dark, and twisted, and cruel. There's a reason the stories in your land depict him the way they do. Captain Hook is a monster, Emma, don't ever doubt that."

"And yet, you've stayed a loyal friend to him?" Emma asked.

"I've stayed loyal to Peter. Or, Killian, as he calls himself now. As you call him." Tink smiled softly. "You see, I was the one who found him when he first showed up here. He was so young. So lost, so alone, so afraid. But he was such a bright light. That's how I found him in the first place, because he was just … shining like a beacon. All golden and warm." She shook her head. "When he came back after … after Milah … that light was gone. All that surrounded him was dark and cold."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Emma asked, fascinated by the tale, but unsure of why it mattered.

"The other fairies … they still fear him, after last time. And rightly so." Tink looked down, biting her lip. "He decimated the Hollow when they told him that we couldn't help him with his plot for revenge. Revenge is … not what we do … but he was so far gone, he didn't care." She looked back up at Emma, taking a deep breath. "We are the ones who sent him back to … do you call it the Enchanted Forest? Anyway … we sent him away from Neverland. He would have destroyed Neverland if we hadn't."

"I still don't understand … " Emma said.

"I've been trying to get away, to find you two, since I first sensed his presence back in Neverland. I had to see, for myself … " Tink smiled then. "His light is back. He's glowing again." She took Emma's hand. "And that's because of you." She gave Emma's hand a squeeze. "I want you to do something for me, okay? Trust me. I know … I know all about you, Emma Swan, and how you have issues with that. But his light … it's so much brighter now than it ever has been. Him losing it again would be … " She shook her head. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"So … you have something in mind?" Emma asked, for the first time feeling hopeful.

"I do," Tink said, nodding. "So will you trust me, Emma? Will you help me save him?"

"I'd do anything," Emma said earnestly. She looked at Tink imploringly then. "Will we … be together, then?"

Tink smiled that bright smile of hers again. "If this works, Emma my love, you will be together forever."

Emma felt her breathing hitch, her eyes welling with tears. "Oh," she said, smiling as she started to cry.

"But it's going to be hard," Tink warned. "It's not just going to happen like that." She snapped her fingers. "Which is why I said … you gotta trust me. No matter what happens from this point on."

"I trust you," Emma said, and she found that she really did. "If he trusts you, I trust you. If you can … help us … I trust you."

Tink smiled, then looked up. "Oh, we're here." She cast a glance back at Emma. "Look, you can't meet with Queen Titania tonight — see, it's our Winter Solstice right now, and tonight's the festival. You came at a really good time, it's a lot of fun! But you can't go to the festival looking like … that."

Emma looked down at her sweater and jeans. Both had seen better days. "I suppose not," she said, frowning.

"Don't worry. We'll get you taken care of."

"How?" Emma asked. "I mean … I'm still trying to figure out how it is you're not still tiny."

Tink laughed. "We pixies only take our small forms when we need to do things and remain out of sight. Or when we're flying. Mostly, though, we prefer to be like you." She tugged on Emma's hand then. "Come on, I know just the place for you." Emma looked over her shoulder, looking for Killian. "Don't worry about him," Tink said. "You'll see him later. And when you do, do me a favor?"

"What's that?" Emma asked, cocking her head a bit.

"Tell him that you're in love with him."

xOx

Killian hadn't seen Emma since Tink had shooed him away on the ship. That had been hours ago, and he was starting to feel a little uneasy. What was Tinkerbell telling her? Nothing that wasn't true, he was sure, but … he really hadn't wanted her to find out about all his past crimes like that.

He should have told her himself. Long ago.

When they had docked at the Hollow, he had disembarked the ship with a feeling of disquiet. He would not be welcome here.

Tinkerbell appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, at his elbow as he wandered aimlessly down the path through the woods that lead to the center of the Hollow. "Miss me?" she said with a teasing grin.

"Oh, were you gone? I didn't even notice," he retorted dryly. "What have you done with Emma?"

"I strung her up in one of the trees, of course," Tink said with a delicate shrug, mischief in her leaf-green eyes.

"Tinkerbell, if you've hurt her … "

"Whoa," Tink said, holding up her hands. "It's nice to see that you care about her so much, but you might want to curb those violent outbursts of yours around here. Also, ouch. Like I would hurt her. I like her, Peter. She's way too good for you, though."

Killian's shoulders sagged a little. "Do you honestly think I don't know that?" he said quietly.

He was so keyed up right now. Being back here had set his nerves to fraying. Considering what he'd done last time, it was a wonder they didn't have a lynch mob waiting for him.

"I'm sorry, Tink," he said, after several long moments. "Everything's a mess, and I'm sure it's because I deserve it. But she doesn't … I'm only sorry I dragged her into the middle of all of this."

Tink didn't even appear to be paying attention to a word he was saying. Typical. Blasted pixie.

"You can't go to the festival wearing that," she said then, apropros of nothing, tapping her finger against her chin. "I mean, all black? Come on, that is not the statement you need to be making here."

"What bloody festival are you chirping on about?" he asked, utterly confused.

Tink gasped at him. "You've been away too long," she said, shaking her head. "It's the Winter Solstice, lackwit."

His eyes widened a bit. "That's tonight?" he asked.

"Indeed," Tink said with a grin. "Lucky for you, I have something you can wear. And I have a present for you! I know how you like presents." She grabbed his hand and started pulling him off in one direction.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked, following, admittedly curious about this "present".

"Home!" she laughed.

It had been a long time since Killian had been to the Hollow, even longer since he'd been there as a welcomed guest. Still, Tinkerbell's tiny little forest cottage had not changed a bit since the last time he'd seen it. All the pixies lived in similar dwellings when they were in human form. Other times, they were the typical "sleep in the flowers" cliche that Emma's world was so fond of.

"Wait here!" Tink called, darting down the small hallway toward the back of the place. Killian did as he was bid, looking around at the place that had once been almost a home to him, so many years ago. It was still as disorganized at cluttered as ever … Tink was always trying to put together new things or invent something or other, so bits and pieces of her creations just littered every available surface of the room.

He supposed it probably would be again, after … after Emma was gone. He blew out a heavy breath. It was really going to happen. She was going to leave him.

"Bloody buggering fuck," he muttered, running his hand over his forehead.

"Language!" Tink snapped, and Killian looked up as she reentered the room. She tossed something at him, and he frowned when he caught it.

"What is this?" he asked, turning over the large walnut shell in his hand.

"Open it!" Tink said excitedly.

He cracked the lid and blinked at the blinding light that emanated from within now. He picked up the source of the light … it was so small, but as soon as it was in his palm …

"Tinkerbell," he said, looking up at her. "How the bleeding hell did you get hold of the Star of Neverland? It's not even supposed to be real. I looked for it for decades."

Tink just smiled. "Please, like you're the only one who can steal things?" She moved over to her table and rummaged around a bit among the bits and bobbles scattered there. "A-ha!" she said, moving back over to him. "Gimme," she said, taking the tiny, glowing star from his palm. She placed the star on the small object she had taken from the table, which Killian now saw was a small silver band, fashioned in the shape of intertwining vines.

When she was finished, she held out the ring to him. "Say 'very pretty, Tink, you do excellent work'," she told him.

"Tinkerbell," he said, his voice strained with emotion.

"All you have to do is believe again, Peter," Tink said. "Can you do that?"

"I … " He frowned. It had been so long since he'd had anything good worth hoping for in his life.

Tink shook her head, annoyed now. "Well? Is she your true love or isn't she?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. Of that much, he was certain.

"Then tonight, you dance with her. When she understands what that means … you give her this. And then tomorrow … "

"You send her home," he said, his heart in his throat.

Tink nodded. "Right, we send her home. And we wait. And when the time is right … when it all comes back … "

Killian hugged Tink tightly then. "You really think it'll work?" he asked her.

"Have faith," she said, returning the hug. "And trust. And … " She flicked her finger at the ring then, a tiny amount of gold flecks shooting off the tip of her finger. "A little bit of pixie dust."

"Why would you … after everything I did … " Killian said, frowning.

"Because I know you," she said, taking his face in her hands and looking at him seriously. "I know your heart. And you are not that monster who came through the portal last time. You've found yourself again, and she is the reason for that. And it isn't just about you, either. She's already lost so much. She needs you."

"You really believe that?" Killian asked. "She's never even said … "

Tink sighed. "You men and your egos!" she said. "She's scared of what it means to love someone. That doesn't mean she doesn't feel it. Where's the faith, huh?"

He backed up, putting up his hands in surrender. "All right, blast you, you win."

"Now go change! I left you some clothes in the back. We've a festival to get to."

xOx

Emma felt slightly ridiculous, and incredibly nervous as she waited for Tinkerbell to arrive to lead her to wherever this festival was.

The gown the fairies had dressed her in was some sort of gossamer silk, a soft silvery-blue color that caught the light and sparkled when she moved. It was off-the-shoulder, and the neckline was edged with soft white feathers. "Because your name's Swan, it seemed appropriate, you see," the darker haired fairy, who called herself Iona, had said. The material hugged her curves, flowing down into a full skirt that brushed the ground until she'd put on the pair of silver slippers that the fairies had handed her.

After they'd dressed her, they'd done up her hair, a pile of golden curls atop her head, with a few falling loose around her face. "Now you are ready for the festival," they had announced.

"I guess," Emma had said, completely out of her element. This was just … too unreal, it was hard to wrap her head around it.

And now she was waiting, just outside the little cottage, looking down the path for some sign of Tinkerbell, coming back for her.

"Pardon me, I'm looking for … " Emma turned at the sound of the familiar voice behind her. "… Emma," he finished, his eyes going wide as he looked at her. "Emma?"

She wanted to laugh a little at his dumbstruck expression, but she was sure that hers mirrored it. He wasn't wearing all black any more. He was wearing what Emma would've classified as "Fancy Pirate". There was a long leather duster, leather pants (oh, God), and a bright green brocade vest that somehow made his eyes look even bluer. He looked … incredible.

She managed to smile then. "You look amazing," she said, wondering at the nervousness in her voice.

"Bloody hell, Emma," he breathed, stepping in closer to her. He didn't touch her, though he raised his hand as though he meant to, before dropping it back to his side.

"Is it that bad?" she asked, looking down at the dress and making a face.

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he said quietly.

"I highly doubt that," Emma said, though her heart was fluttering wildly now. "You come from Neverland, and this place is … "

"Nothing compared to you." And then he was kissing her, and Emma was certain she never wanted it to end. "I've thought of the favor I want from you," he said, after they managed to pull away from each other.

"Oh?" Emma asked, raising a brow as she remembered their earlier conversation on the boat. "Should I be afraid?"

He smiled at her, letting his fingertips trace over the exposed line of her shoulder now. "I only want to dance with you."

Her brow furrowed. That seemed like such an odd thing to request as a final favor from someone. "I'm not a very good dancer," she admitted, resting her hand in the crook of his elbow when he offered her his arm.

"Doesn't matter. I can show you how it goes," he said as they began walking down the path.

"That's really all you want?" she asked him, bemused. "A dance?"

"Well, it's not just any dance," he said, turning his head to look at her. "It's quite a specific one."

"Continue," she said, her expression expectant.

"Well … it will mean that we're married," he said.

Emma stopped walking. "What?" she asked. "How does that even work?"

"It's a tradition here, in Neverland. The Winter Solstice is … it's about the death of the sun, but it's also the rebirth of it. It's about the commitment of starting something new. And people come here, from all over Neverland, on this night, for this very purpose."

"To get married," Emma said. "So … what you're really saying here is that the final favor you want from me is … "

"To marry you, yes," he said, nodding.

"But … why?" she asked, her eyes searching his face for any kind of answer. "Why would you want that? Knowing that when I leave here, I won't remember … "

"Because I will," he said adamantly, his eyes pleading with her. "And just knowing that given the choice, you would be with me, if you could … "

"Of course I would," Emma said softly. "You know I don't want to leave you, and I don't want to forget … "

Her mind was racing, she was replaying every moment she'd spent with him up to this point, every heartbeat, every breath, all of it. Tinkerbell's voice was in her head then, clear as a bell.

True love is a pretty powerful source of magic …

All that talk about trusting Tinkerbell, it was all ringing in Emma's head.

Trust me, no matter what happens from this point on …

And the crazy thing was, Emma did trust her. Inexplicably, she trusted Tinkerbell. And more importantly, most importantly … she trusted Killian. With everything she had. She looked up then, her eyes wide and searching as they met his. It was all starting to make sense. This was the fairy tale. This was it.

"Okay," she said then, as her mind halted at her realization. She took his face in her hands, turning him to look at her. She kissed him, deeply, longingly. "This isn't the end. I won't let it be."

"What are you saying, Emma?" he breathed against her lips, his arms going around her.

"I'm saying … I love you," she said, and she meant it more than she'd meant anything.

She had expected him to make a smartass comment, but instead, his arms tightened around her. "Emma," he said, and she could feel the pounding of his heart in his chest. It hit her then, just how much it all actually meant to him.

"It's not over," she said, shaking her head. "It will never be over." She kissed him again as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Gods, I love you," he breathed raggedly then, kissing the tip of her nose.

She pulled back, smiling at him. "Come on," she said, reaching for his hand. "Tink's probably wondering what happened to us."

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and he pulled back on her hand to keep her from walking just yet. "You never answered my question, lass," he said.

"And what question was that?" she asked teasingly.

"Do you concede to dance with me tonight?"

"You mean, will I marry you?" Emma asked, her grin slowly widening.

It was insane that this conversation was even happening … but everything in her life had been insane up til now. Why stop here? Besides, she knew, without a doubt, that this was what she wanted. She knew he would never give up on finding her again. Somehow, someway, they'd be together.

She leaned in and kissed him again. "Hell yes I will," she whispered. "Let's go."