Jaime had been through a lot in his short life. But being stared at by a Lord of Order was new.
Dr Fate would be a fair bit taller than Jaime... well, than the Scarab, at that moment everyone was taller than Jaime... even if he hadn't been floating a good foot off the ground. Only his eyes were visible behind the golden mask, and they were expressionless. Jaime's background systems kept trying to scan Dr Fate's vital signs, only to send back a confusing mess that was dizzying to look at. It was like trying to navigate a hall where the walls, floor and ceiling were all painted in different optical illusions, the lights would flash painfully bright at random intervals, and the floor kept tilting unpredictably. He was beginning to see what the Scarab meant when it screamed "NOT COMPATIBLE" in his mind.
"Can you fix it?" Nightwing asked after several long minutes of silence.
"NO."
-But... but he has to!-
"Why not?" the Scarab asked. His voice was calm, but Jaime had been monitoring his steadily increasing adrenalin levels since Dr Fate had arrived and was fighting the urge to armour up in response. He was starting to consider drugging the Scarab to calm him down (something he hadn't previously been aware the Scarab could do, and wasn't particularly happy about).
"KLARION'S MAGIC IS STRONG AND CHAOTIC. TO MIX MAGICS IN THIS WAY AT THIS TIME WOULD BE DANGEROUS."
"What would you suggest we do?" Nightwing asked.
"THE BEST COURSE WOULD BE TO CONVINCE KLARION TO REVERSE THE SPELL."
"Too high-risk," the Scarab said, "with very little chance of success."
"THEN WAIT. WITHOUT SOME SORT OF ANCHOR TO GROUND THE SWAP, YOUR MINDS SHOULD REASSERT THEIR NATURAL POSITIONS IN TIME."
"And there is no... anchor?" Nightwing asked.
"NOT THAT I HAVE DETECTED."
"How long?" the Scarab asked.
"I DO NOT KNOW."
"What was the purpose of this swap? What could the Klarion gain from such a thing?"
"I DO NOT KNOW. KLARION'S METHODS AND GOALS ARE OFTEN INSCRUTIBLE. HE IS CHAOS INCARNATE."
"Right," Nightwing said. "Thank you for your help."
Clearly taking that remark for a dismissal, Dr Fate summoned and stepped into a portal without responding.
"Well," Nightwing said after several seconds of awkward silence, "I guess that answers that."
The Scarab nodded. "Ideally we should go after this Klarion, but our current state is... vulnerable. It may be necessary to wait out the spell. We must isolate ourselves from potential enemies until the situation is resolved." He headed for the door.
-Wait, we what? No! I have school, and... and the Team!-
Both Jaime and the Scarab ignored Nightwing's odd look as they armoured up to leave. They were heading for the door when Nightwing put a gentle restraining hand on the Scarab's elbow. The Scarab spun and threw him, but Nightwing grabbed the Scarab's shoulder spike in one hand, flipped around behind him, and put an arm around his throat. "Stand down and I won't have to hurt you!"
Adrenalin response. Heart rate spike. Systems within safe parameters. Hostile action attempting to restrict breathing. Breathing unobstructed. Jaime passed a charge through the armour. Nightwing screamed and let go. The Scarab called a plasma cannon; Jaime built it around his arm without thinking. The Scarab aimed.
-Wait! No!-
"He attacked first," the Scarab responded. "He proved himself unworthy of your trust."
"I don't want to hurt you," Nightwing said, drawing a batarang.
"Then we have the advantage."
-He wasn't attacking!-
"Are you telling me the Nightwing was not hostile?"
-He... well... -
"As I thought. Your trust was misplaced."
-No, he... we need him. We need him alive.-
"Then I will simply disable him." The Scarab adjusted the power accordingly.
-We can retreat without hurting anyone.-
"Such a tactic would give the impression of weakness."
-Just trust me!-
"Your judgements today have not been accurate."
"Beetle... Scarab..." Nightwing said slowly, "It would be best if you just... stayed here, inside the base, while we figured this out."
"We cannot stay here."
-The base is probably the safest place,- Jaime pointed out.
"The chances of us successfully orchestrating such a ruse long-term are very low," the Scarab explained under his breath, "and we are too vulnerable in this state to effectively defend ourselves against our stronger potential enemies. If this situation is going to persist for an indeterminate length of time, we cannot effectively strategise to compensate. We must temporarily withdraw and isolate ourselves completely until the situation has resolved itself."
-No, you are not pulling me out of school and away from my family for an 'indeterminate length of time'. That's just going to create a mess to clean up later.-
"Yes, but we will no longer be vulnerable when cleaning it up."
-If we are attacked, would you rather it be in a familiar area, surrounded by our allies, or off alone somewhere?-
"Those 'allies' could – "
-No. You have fought with these people.-
After a long moment, the Scarab lowered his weapon. "You must agree to maintain our secret," he told Nightwing.
"You want to hide this situation from the rest of the Team?"
"Yes."
"Fine. Stay and I won't give your secret away."
"We cannot stay. We must go to school."
-No!- Jaime didn't even want to think about how many ways that could go wrong.
"But I thought you wanted to resume – "
-Yes, but tomorrow, ok? If we're stuck like this, we both need a lot of practise.-
"Where, then?"
-Somewhere nobody knows me. Let's... let's get you convincingly human first, and then worry about the details.-
"We must leave," the Scarab said to Nightwing. "If you intend to try to stop us..."
"I think you're making a mistake," Nightwing said.
"Your opinion is not relevant." With that, the Scarab turned and left. After some brief discussion, they ended up in a mall somewhere in New York. Jaime felt the Scarab's nervousness at the crowds. Normal reaction, nothing to worry about.
They'd barely entered the mall when the Scarab's heart rate spiked and his perception of his surroundings shrank to less than half of normal. Seconds later, Jaime detected significant chemical changes in his bloodstream. -Look out.-
"What? What is it?" the Scarab muttered, moving into a more stable stance.
-Not sure. Scanning.- No unusual chemical or sonic effects. Some guns present, but none of then drawn. No hostile actions from surrounding people. -Never mind, I can't find anything.-
"Can't find anything? What put you on alert?" the Scarab muttered. His eyes followed a passing woman in a particularly low-cut top and he nearly walked into a wall. "Something is definitely interfering with my sensory systems."
-Aha. No, I got it. It's not dangerous.-
"What is it?"
-It's a... biological weakness. Stop staring at women, my Mum raised me better than that.-
"Why?"
-Because it's rude and disrespectful.- Jaime thought about that for a bit and tried putting it into terms the Scarab would understand. -It can be taken as a signal of hostility and we don't want to start an unnecessary fight here. Seriously, it's like you've never seen a woman before.-
"Through human eyes, I have not." The Scarab frowned to himself and fixed his gaze resolutely forward. "What is the pain beneath my ribs?"
-Hunger. You didn't have breakfast. We should get you something to eat. And stop talking to yourself, it's a sign of mental illness.-
The Scarab quickly identified and headed for the food court. Finding food once there, however, was a more difficult matter. His eyes skittered from shop to shop, settling on each menu for a few seconds before moving onward. "What is the most effective food item for eliminating hunger?" He asked in some distress.
-You've been watching me eat since you bonded to my spine and food still confuses you?-
"Beyond scanning for common poisons, I do not generally interfere with your eating. Which is the most effective?"
-Ah, well, it's not a matter of effectiveness, even with the price...-
"It certainly is," the Scarab insisted impatiently. "Which of these food has the optimal carbohydrate and sugar levels that my gastrointestinal system will recognise?"
-I don't...- Jaime gave up. -The pie. Buy pie.-
"Which pie?"
-Apricot pie. From over there.-
The Scarab patiently stood in line and ordered and obtained his pie without major incident. It was served on a little plate with a plastic fork. Carefully avoiding staring at anybody in a potentially hostile manner, he manoeuvred his way to an empty table, sat down, and stared at the pie. After considering it for a moment, he leaned forward and breathed deeply. Slight dopamine increase in the brain, barely worthy of note. The Scarab balanced a small piece of pie on his plastic fork and stuck it in his mouth. He froze, staring fixedly at the now-empty fork, for about ten seconds. Jaime could feel his taste buds respond to the pie in a detached sort of way; he noted the activation, the chemicals they sensed, and a more sophisticated chemical analysis by his own artificial systems, without experiencing the flavour in any familiar way. He noted a further increase in dopamine and a few other trace hormones. Slowly, deliberately, the Scarab started to chew. Slowly, deliberately, the Scarab swallowed. He stared down at the pie.
-Don't like it?- Jaime asked.
"I... do," the Scarab whispered. "But it is... overwhelming." After some consideration, he ate another forkful.
Jaime decided to try something. -See that little girl over there eating pie? She's feeling the same things you are.-
The Scarab looked at the girl for a few seconds before losing interest. He slowly worked his way through the pie. Jaime felt his pulse jump before every mouthful.
-Are you nervous? Is pie actually making you nervous?-
"I think something is wrong with our mind transfer," the Scarab whispered.
-Why?-
"I... suspect that the environment is having a direct effect on my cognitive faculties. There is no filter or separate processing."
-Oh.- Jaime chuckled in the Scarab's head. It felt disconcerting, not being accompanied by any of the normal sensations of laughter. -That's normal. Human moods and thoughts influence each other, and both are influenced by the environment.-
"These things have a direct effect on your thought process?!" the Scarab hissed.
-Yes.-
"The environment directly affecting the cognitive faculties of an Infiltrator unit would be considered severe damage! How can you reliably function under such circumstances?!"
-We seem to manage. You'll get used to it.-
"To 'get used to it' would be to learn to ignore the flaw, not eliminate the flaw!" The Scarab hissed through his teeth as he stabbed angrily at the pie.
-Calm down, people are staring.-
"I cannot calm down. I have only minimal control over my moods."
-Try taking deep, slow breaths and thinking about pie.-
The Scarab started to breathe deeply and slowly as instructed. His heart rate fell to a little above rest. -You know,- Jaime said, -I'm a little surprised you didn't ask me to keep your hormones consistent to control your moods.-
"I do not think that would be effective," the Scarab muttered. "It would be likely to create a disconnect between different mood-contributing systems and exacerbate the problem."
If Jaime could sigh in relief, he would have. He'd been worried that he'd have to talk the Scarab out of turning him into some kind of unfeeling robot when they finally switched back. The Scarab slowly finished the pie and then glanced around. His gaze came to rest on a bookshop. "Do you require any books?" he asked quietly.
-Not really, but let's take a look.-
"I do not understand the purpose of this shop," the Scarab muttered as they thumbed through a random biography of some star Jaime had never heard of. "These data could be more efficiently transmitted electronically."
-Yeah, well, some people like to feel paper in their hands when they read.-
"Why? The information is the same."
-But people like to feel like they're reading a book. You know what, I don't think I can explain this to you. It's just something that humans do.-
"Can I help you?" A saleslady asked, coming up behind them. The Scarab jumped; heart rate spiked. He tried to summon a weapon; Jaime resisted.
"I do not... I am fine, thank you," the Scarab responded tonelessly. "I am browsing."
"Alright, let me know if you need anything." The saleswoman flashed her a bright smile and moved on.
"She surprised us," the Scarab muttered. "She must be trained in stealth. Probably hostile. Recommend – "
-She surprised you because your attention was on the book. She's a civilian. She's not hostile.-
"You cannot be certain of that."
-Are you going to try to kill everybody we meet until this is over?-
"Only if they are dangerous."
-So that's a yes, then?-
"That would depend on who we encounter."
-This was a mistake. We should go somewhere... less crowded.-
"We should return to El Paso."
-No, we shouldn't.-
"It is known territory."
-Why, so you can try to kill my mother again?-
"I already agreed to avoid fatalities for the purposes of maintaining the illusion of normalcy."
-... Fine. But no hitting family members.-
They landed safely in El Paso several blocks from Jaime's house and put the armour away. The Scarab was casually walking back home when they saw Bart, in civvies, heading for their front door. At least he wasn't in costume this time.
-Oh, we don't want to... too late, he's seen us.-
The Scarab smiled and waved. "How are you doing, hermano?"
Bart froze and stared for about half a second. Then he turned and fled, faster than even Jaime's artificial systems could track. The Scarab tried to armour up to pursue; Jaime resisted. -If you chase him, we'll freak him out more!-
"The leak must be contained."
-No! No. He's afraid of you, and with good reason! We're not... hunting him down! Let him go.-
"He will reveal our condition."
-There's nothing we can do about that. You wouldn't be able to catch him anyway. We are so busted.-
"How did he know?" The Scarab sounded confused, which was at least better than his normal toneless mutter. "My imitation of you was perfect."
-Apparently not.-
"But..."
-I'm guessing he has a lot more experience detecting you, than you do trying to be me. Yeah. We are busted.-
"Suggested tactic for containing the leak..." the Scarab bit his lip. Jaime felt his uneasiness in his biofeedback systems.
-You could do my math homework,- Jaime suggested.
"How will that help?"
-It'll help me.-