Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 8: Operate (By: Three Days Grace)

Jade P.O.V

I'm shocked; stunned really. I never expected that I would lose my father. I may have hated the man, but that doesn't mean he wasn't significant to me; he was my father after all.

"Are you sure it was him?" I squeak and I hate myself for it. I can't afford to be weak, not now, not ever. I can't allow myself to show my…pain?

"The dental imprints of the victim are identical to that of your fathers and Sergeant Foxx was able to identify the body, which means you won't have to."

"Like I even could, the man was never home. I haven't gotten a good look at his face since I was seven." I roar, standing up.

"Jade!" Tori exclaims, her arm reaching out to my shoulder.

"What? It's the fucking truth. He wasn't a father to me." I whirl around at Tori with fury. In an instant she rises to my level and looks me in the eye. Her large chocolate irises collide with my cool sea green ones effectively diminishing the rage that was building within my body.

"This is not the time to be rash. No matter what, he was your father and you have to deal with this situation. Be calm, please?" She implores. I give her a curt nod and collapse into my original seat on the sofa. She offers a small smile then takes up her post beside me.

"Now that everything is a little calmer, we can continue with our conversation." The tall, male officer next to Foxx explains. "Arrangements have been made for your mother to come to Los Angeles. Once she is here we will commence with the funeral."

"Wait, wait, wait." I breathe, pinching the bridge of my nose. "My mother is coming…why?"

"To mourn the death of her ex-husband, of course." His unknowledgeable statement earns a snort from me, and even the unsettled Master Sergeant Foxx. Damn this guy really doesn't understand our fucked up family. With a curious look in Foxx's direction, he continues. "She will also need to be present for the reading of your fathers will on Wednesday. Plus arrangements need to be made for Jason."

With that all hell breaks loose.

"The fuck do you mean, arrangements need to be made for Jason."

"You do not have custody over your brother, Miss. West; your mother does."

"I don't give a shit if the State says I have custody or not! Jason is staying!" I bark, my voice thundering through the mostly empty household.

"Jade, keep your voice down." Foxx advices

"No I won't! Neither parent ever gave a damn and you now that!" I erupt, marching over and shoving my finger in Foxx's sternum. I look up at him with a mixture of ire, affliction, and anguish. "You know her, you know she doesn't care."

"Jade you need to understand that Jason needs to be under the guidance of an adult."

"I am an adult!"

"In a month, but as of right now you're just a kid."

"The FUCK, I'm not a kid! There's no way in hell that I'm going to let that fucking bitch take away my brother." I fume. "That's my little brother; I'm the only one that ever took care of him. I'm the only one that gave a shit in this family." I continue now moving about the living room looking for something to destroy; anything to get this emotion out.

"Jade, please calm down." Tori suggests causing me to whirl around and send death glares in her direction.

"Who the hell are you to tell me anything, Tori!" I bellow, venom oozing from my words. The hurt on Tori's face is prevalent as soon as my words reach her. Her unusually calm demeanor cracks and is replaced with an agonized version of her stunning face. Silence dawns upon the room and I slowly realize my mistake. Absentmindedly, I begin to move towards Tori to fix the damage I have just created. Before I can reach her she lets loose a horrifying sob. I freeze where i stand not knowing what to do with my now sobbing girlfriend. Before I can even formulate any sort of apology she stands and leaves the house in silence.

"Fuck" I mutter.

"Jade, you need to calm yourself. We cannot help if you explode on us every time we say something." Foxx informs me. My back is to him, but I can tell he is no longer emotional, in fact i feel like he livid with me, but fuck him. "If you cannot control yourself then you can be damn sure you're never going to see your brother." The original quivering in his voice has now been replaced with irritation.

"Sergeant I don't believe that's what sh-"

"Oh shut the fuck up." Foxx spits at his partner. "Just go back to the squad car; you're no longer needed here." I can hear his partner huff.

"But what about-" He inquires.I hear Foxx rise from his seat and whisper in the man's ear. Eventually the man scurries out of the room, hopefully out of the house as well.

"Foxx I don't need one of your stupid ass lectures, so you can leave too." I grumble venom and fury evident in my voice.

"Jade I've known you since you were a little girl." He begins, but I cut him off.

"So you can testify to the fact that my parents are, well were, the most shitty set of people who ever lived on this planet." After slight hesitation I turn around and find Foxx looking at me with a stern expression. "What? You're acting like they are both are saints. You know they did nothing to even qualify as parents, and now you're just going to stand by while my mother takes Jason away from the one qualified care giver in this whole fucking family! That shit is bogus, she has no right!" I can feel my face and eyes burning, but I have no intention of stopping my rant. "I have taken care of him for the past nine years, I'm there for everything. When he was bullied, I'm the one who took care of it; when he was failing math, I'm the one who got him to study; when he wanted to play football, I'm the one that went to all of his games. I've been there for him, she hasn't! If there's anyone he should fucking stay with it should be me dammit!"

"Jade I'm sorry, but I have to take Jason until your mother arrives." My icy heart gives on last pathetic thud before it comes to a halt.

"Take him?" I barely whisper.

"Jade your going ballistic, I can't let him stay here tonight. He's coming to stay with me until you calm down. You're welcome at my house too once you finally cool your temper." He states giving me a disappointed look. "But Jade, if you want any chance to see him and be a part of his life after your mother takes him you're going to have to change. Right now with your attitude there's no possible way you would ever win custody, and you give your mother grounds to ensure you don't get to visit." He explains as lightly as possible. "Even if you are the most fit to raise him." He adds. After a long, uncomfortable silence, he nods and continues. "The wake is on Monday, the funeral is on Tuesday and the reading of the Will is on Wednesday; each begins at nine o'clock. I'll call you with more information tomorrow, but for right now I have to go." He hugs my limp body and then moves to leave the household.

I hear the front door lock when it closes and I try to hold my emotions.

"Be calm, be collected. None of this should effect you." I mutter to myself over and over again. My walls are now up and not a single thing is drifting in my distant mind.

I make my way through the house with blurred vision and I successfully end up my room, where I start to undress. I slip out of my jeans and begin to take of my shirt, but encounter some complications.

"Fucking shirt is too fucking small!" Rage consumes my mind and my only objective is to get this god damn shirt off. Stomping around my room, I grab a pair of scissors and tear into the shirt, cutting it into pieces. I'm cutting so rigorously I don't even notice that I have cut my arm until I see the warm, crimson liquid run down my arm.

"Damn!" My emotions boil over and I just lose it. I sink to the floor and sobs rip through my chest. The worst part is there's no way I can stop it. I franticly search my room for some comfort, but everything just reminds me of death or destruction; skulls, dead insects, scissors, Tori's shirt that I just shredded, Beck's old acoustic gui- Wait Tori's shirt. I just ruined her shirt. I crawl over to what remains of the shirt and curl up around it. The faint smell of Tori washes over me and I feel slight relief.

Somewhere during the course of my pity party an overwhelming sense of emptiness dawns upon me. I feel like a whole piece of me is missing and I don't have my normal strength anymore. Everyone is gone, maybe not forever, but when I need them no one is here. My own hate has pushed them away. Each and every person I have ever loved has been forced out of my life because of my own idiocy and inability to control myself. I never should have snapped at Tori, but I did; I never should have created such a scene that Foxx felt he had to take Jason away; I never should have pushed Beck away; I never should have been so cruel to my parents. i'm reminded of the phone call my father made to me this morning. That's the last time I'll every hear his voice, the last time I'll have ever talked to him, and I was a fucking bitch. The realization shakes my very core.

I don't have Jason or Vlad. I don't have Tori. I don't have Beck. I don't have parents. I don't have anyone and it's all my fucking fault. Everything I've ever loved has blown up in my face or left me because I'm so terrible, because I'm a mess, monster even.

I'm in this massive house by myself, broken, and bleeding. I have fallen and I'm totally alone.

A/N-Basically, shame on me for taking so long to update then dedicating the majority of the chapter to just one character, but it needed to be done. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter written. I had so many difficulties. I ended up having to start over multiple times and I didn't have a lot of free time to write in the first place, so my apologies. Also the chapter is not as long as usual chapters, so sorry again. The upcoming chapters will be a lot less lovely dovey, but I swear it all has purpose.

As for my song choice, I think it describes how Jade feels about her family, or anyone she's ever loved. To me, her character seems to be so shut down that any little action will bring out the worst, yet she feels that they whichever individual she has in mind are just as lethal to her. She feels she understands them and could put them at a distance, yet no matter what she will always be affected. I really thought about the relation between her and her father while listening to the song. I know the drug references may be a bit of a stretch, but it all depends on one's perception. Hopefully I displayed this to some extent within this chapter. There is more to come so until next time-

JKJOKER