A/N: And this is me realizing that I completely forgot two of the Rules of Getting Over Break Ups. Incidentally, this is going to be the hardest two to write, since I had half a mind to pretend I never meant to write these two drabbles ever. But my conscience has overcome my pride, so yous guys get this. I'm getting around to the next one, I promise. Don't get your socks in a knot.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and my two OC's. And the Rules themselves, since someone out there decided to borrow those with my consent and without crediting me.

8. Hang out with good girlfriends who will bad mouth your ex with while simultaneously comforting you. And eat Ben and Jerry's and other comfort foods with you on that first day after and watch romance movies with you in comfort clothes. And then work out with you after to get rid of the weight. And then proceed to tell everyone what a douche this jerk is.

Mia wept into the tissues she had tightly grasped in his hand, mascara running down her face like black streaks down her china doll complexion. "And – and then he said I was a fat ugly loser with self-image issues and that I was psycho! Can you believe him?" She dissolved into a sniveling mess, her Ulquiorra-decorated pajama-pant clad legs curled in front of her as she fell against Rose.

Lissa handed her the tissue box, "There, there Mia. Do you need me to send Rose to straighten him out? I'm sure I'd love the pleasure of being able to do so." Her grin was Machiavellian, sly and as full as a cat's and just as full of retribution. Lissa's navy t-shirt design was faded, it looked like a remainder of her older brother's wardrobe.

Rose awkwardly patted Mia's head. "Yeah… I'm sure if I just talked to him a little... With my fists?!" Rose scrambled as Mia began to cry harder, "Um, I'll bring Dmitri?! And Eddie!? And Hans and Abe!?" She kept trying to console Mia, but over the top of her head mouthed to Lissa, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

Jill held out a container of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia. "Mia, I'm sure ice cream will help. If not that, we have chocolate and the entire Disney Princess collection?"

Sydney piped up from the corner where she was perusing an old spell book, "And if not, there's a chemistry experiment that I'm sure we'll all enjoy – we can get his family jewels to fall off! And if not that, well, there's this old book I have that will pretty much do the trick." She grinned wickedly. "Oh, Kiernan will so deserve losing all his muscle tone. Does that sound good? Or is that too … nice?" She wandered away to make unbuttered popcorn.

Rose spoke the thought they all were thinking, "Remind me to never, ever get on her bad side. Ever." Jill and Lissa nodded in affirmation.

Mia looked up from her smudgy drowned raccoon eyed reflection in the glass coffee table, "Guys, I just wanted to say thanks for coming and being, being… being such good friends! WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU GUYS?! PASS ME THOSE TISSUES!"

Sydney, back from making popcorn, frowned as Jill snatched the bag from her. "No, Sydney, at Girl-Powwows-Hating-on-Douche Nights, we eat ice cream and chocolate and cheesy fries and fried chicken and worry about calories later."

Rose and Sydney looked at her alarmed, "But when am I supposed to work off all that weight?"

Mia cried into Lissa's shoulder, "And I thought he was THE ONE, you know?" Her small shoulders heaved painfully, her thin frame wracked with sobs and gasps for air, "And he was cheating on me with some sl** from Omaha. WHERE THE HELL IS OMAHA?!" Her voice cracked as it reached at least High C.

Jill eyed the mess that was Mia. "Rose, Sydney, we work it off later, together. That's the way this thing works. Get fat together, work out together, bad mouth guys together. Get the jist?"

Rose muttered to Sydney, "I don't really get it, but I'd totally prefer 'live together, die together.' Makes more sense in my line of work."

Sydney nodded thoughtfully, "Yeah, you know?"

Jill popped in a movie, "Hey, Mia? How about we watch some Cinderella? That'll make you feel better. "

Mia wiped under her eyes, and nodded, "Yeah, lets. My throat hurts from crying so much. Some one pass me that Chocolate Therapy Ben and Jerry's." She paused, midway through lifting a scoop of the rich ice cream to her mouth. "Wait, first, let's blow up Twitter and Facebook with how much of a douche Kiernan is. That'll teach him." She pounded her fist resolutely into her knee. "Yeah, since I have a picture of that sl** queen's ultra-sound. That way everyone will know he's slept with some slag who probably has venereal diseases!" She smiled, watery-eyed, "Who's with me?"

The overtures to the classic Disney opening blasted through the speakers as Rose pityingly patted Mia's shoulder, "Honey, we covered that around four hours ago. Right now, Sydney's in the middle of orchestrating a staged Strigoi attack on him." Rose turned to the rapidly talking Alchemist and hollered in the dim glow of the television, "Oi, Sydney, just tell Abe that I, his beloved only child, want this really badly. With a cherry on top and I might even throw in some pictures of Mom!"

9. Get back in the saddle. Show your jerkwad ex who's too good for him by getting a better new boyfriend/ girlfriend. And then flaunt it girl/boy!

As Adrian waited patiently in the dimly lit restaurant, he wondered what exactly was taking Sydney so long. Sure she could drive really well, and sure she was Miss Independent and sure, she was more than a little paranoid about being on time, but Adrian figured he had been in the swanky new Chinese place for at least fifteen minutes. The lanterns hung outside the booth provided the only other lighting except for the lantern in the middle of the cubicle. He checked his watch, pushing up the sleeve of his black blazer and his charcoal grey shirt. Then he straightened his snowy white tie. It would not do to look unprofessional when he knew Sydney would be just as professional. He took a sip of the sparkling grape juice – no alcohol tonight, unimpaired judgment and all that.

Sydney hurried in, her navy blue fitted dress screamed of Jill's closet, not her's. For one, it was a bit too mainstream media version of business, with its figure hugging silhouette and tight hemline. Not that he minded. It was nice to see her out of the drab clothing he was used to her wearing, because this was something that was like Crème Brule – too rich to have every day, something better savored every once in a while. He stood up as she spoke, "Sorry I'm late. There was a minor incident with some guy repeatedly running into Eddie's fist." She frowned, "Or was it Angeline's knee?" She smiled, shaking her head, "In any case, you said you needed my help?"

Adrian shifted in his seat, "Yeah. I figured you know a thing or two about the stock market and banking and stuff like that, hm?" He caught the waiter's eye and gestured him over. A fresh glass of sparkling grape juice appeared in front of them both. Soon after, a steaming bamboo tray of dumplings appeared, as well as wontons and spring rolls.

Sydney smiled broadly, "Figured you'd get the waiter to pick?" Her tattoo glistened in the lantern-light, and Adrian took it as a sign to quit staring at the smooth column of her neck, and the shadows created by her clavicle, and the way the hollow at the base of her throat pointed directly at - yeah, he was going to stop himself now.

He smiled back, slightly uncomfortable. "Actually, this restaurant is famous for serving you whatever the chef thinks you'll want. No menu, no choices. You eat what you get. And I asked you here because, a) when do I get to take a pretty girl out to eat, and b) I'd like your advice."

Sydney took a sip of the grape juice, "Mhm? What do you want my help with?" She picked up the stainless steel chopsticks, lifting up a bite of the wontons to take a delicate bite off of.

Adrian sighed, then pulled out an envelope from his inner pocket, "Well, I'd been saving the allowance I get from my father, and I decided to invest it into some pretty lucrative markets."

Sydney looked up from a bite of spring roll, "Dear God, Adrian, did you go bankrupt?"

Adrian stared at her from across the low round table, midway through chewing a dumpling. He swallowed, "Uh, no. If you'd look in the envelope, which contains all the pertinent documents, you'll see what the issue is."

Sydney looked, then stared at him, then looked again, "A notice that you're being audited by the IRS? Why?"

"Keep looking." Adrian gestured with his chopsticks.

Sydney started coughing when she turned to the first page of the file, "You made how much in the stock market?!"

Adrian sighed, "Exactly what the IRS wants to know. But see, the thing is, while they think I have some insider trading thing going on, I'm really just doing it all on a hunch. A gut feeling, nothing too snazzy."

"Adrian, no one can make eleven million dollars in the stock market in a month."

The waiter returned, with soup dumplings, some jasmine rice, Manchurian Style Hakka Noodles, Schezwan Style Bazzia, as well as two small intertwined Mandarin Ducks that had been expertly roasted. "You can, clearly, especially if you invest in the money markets, and the precious jewels and metals markets, and the oil industry."

Sydney glared at him over the top of the lantern, then went to grab a chopstick full of the noodles. Suddenly, a voice interjected, "Adrian? Sydney?" The two turned to find a very dressed up Rose and Dmitri standing parallel to their cubicle. "What are you doing here?" Her voice turned sly and suggestive, "Are you on a date?"

Sydney almost said no, and Adrian almost said yes, but they both eyed each other instead of answering. "Aw, isn't that cute, Comrade? Caught red-handed." Rose snuggled against Dmitri, "Remember back in the days …" Dmitri smiled indulgently, and then dragged Rose off to their cubicle.

Adrian sighed in relief, and Sydney slipped the files back into the envelope. "Adrian, you're right this could be serious trouble for you. I'll have the Alchemists clear it all up before you get audited."

He grinned, and then stood, gallantly offering his arm, "Well, then, dinner is on me, and I will walk you out to your car." Sydney laughed, then took his arm, linking them at the elbow. They stood at the doors, waiting for the valet to bring Sydney Latte and Adrian his unnamed car. Just as the valet pulled up, Adrian took the chance as Sydney turned back to face him. He swiftly pressed his lips against hers, quick yet insistent, and dipped her simultaneously. Her righted her, then winked, "Goodnight, Sydney Sage."

If Sydney had turned back to look, she would have seen a taken aback Rose and a slightly bemused Dmitri staring out the front window. But she didn't, and so she will never know what exactly brought about Adrian's sudden urge to play romantic hero.

A/N: Yeah, they're long. I decided to make them long because I messed up with the last chapter. So congrats! More stories! And yes, I had to use Disney movies, since I myself hate the Notebook and the Titanic and all those other gushy mushy romances, so I refuse to subject fiction characters to that. Also, yes, I did use Rose as the jerkwad Ex for Adrian, because let's face it. She broke Adrian. And played him and cheated on him. She's not exaclt ythe best person ever, so I had to use the opportunity. Besides, who else could I have reasonably used - Jill and Trey with Micah being the ex? Which, in hindsight, might have been cool... Besides that, review if you feel like it, don't if you don't. Until next chapter, stay beautiful.

ModernArt2012