Title: "Careful With What You Wish - Chap 5: End Of All Hope"
Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA. It requires knowledge of the 'X' manga. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), some OOC, a bit of sappiness, twisted relationships, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, violence, general insanity and other stuffs I might have forgot... Deal with this fic with caution...
Notes: This is dark and twisted, dark and twisted, dark and twisted... have I mentioned it's dark and twisted? It's born to show a less nice Seishiro, how bad is Fuma's idea that Wishes must be fulfilled and how stubborn can be Subaru no matter what happened to him.
Warning over notes: This fic has notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. However I suggest you to read the notes AFTER you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Thanks:
To Jennifer for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
To Moko, Tanuki-dono, Meffie, Sakanagi and Yupita for supporting me while writing this fic! Thank you a lot!
Summary: After meeting Subaru in his Maboroshi 16 years ago Seishiro chose to keep him and placed him under a spell so that he would obey to him. Now, in the year of the destiny he has to face Sumeragi Hokuto who wants her brother back and Monou Fuma's obsession for fulfilling wishes...

'We should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.' Andy Rooney

"It is the end of all hope.
To lose the child, the faith.
To end all the innocence.
To be someone like me.

This is the birth of all hope.
To have what I once had.
This life unforgiven,
It will end with birth."
(Nightwish - "End Of All Hope")

Hokuto desperately screamed her brother's name as she saw them vanish under her eyes, but there was nothing she could do to stop the Sakurazukamori from taking Subaru away. She wasn't a Ten no Ryu. She couldn't trap him inside a Kekkai powerful enough to hold him there. She couldn't do a thing. With a cry of anguish she left herself fall on the ground and hit it with her fists, trying to release in that simple gesture all the storming emotions that filled her. Subaru... Her brother... Subaru... Her Subaru... He couldn't... He couldn't even recognize her anymore... Subaru... That man... That man had taken him away... Again... How she hated him... How she hated him... That man... He... Her Subaru...

"Are you well, Neechan?" a concerned voice asked from behind her.(1) She stood immediately, hurriedly wiping away her tears, and turned, ready to face anything and anyone.

She was the Sumeragi no Chou in place of Subaru.

It wouldn't do to show her weakness in front of strangers.

She saw walking toward her the two teenagers that she had passed coming there. The girl was wearing a simple Sailor Fuku but with the same noble bearing a royalty would have. She had a sober yet elegant beauty and a serious expression, but she seemed detached as only a Miko could be. For a moment Hokuto's mind spun as she thought of the variety of clothes in which she would like to dress her.(2) The boy was wearing a black suit.(3) She supposed he had aimed to look elegant in it, or serious, but looked more casual than anything else, maybe also due to the partially loosened tie. He was tall, even if not overly so, and looked very friendly, yet there was a sharp light in his eyes. Probably it had been the boy who had spoken to her. She straightened her back and tried to regain her composure, her hands moving automatically to straighten her clothes.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," she replied, forcing herself to smile cheerfully when all she wanted was to bend down and cry. "You are?"

"I am Kishu Arashi," the girl replied, her expression so serious and formal Obaachan would have probably praised her for it. The boy behind her instead was keeping a sillier, almost cute attitude. Obaachan wouldn't have approved but it made Hokuto marginally more comfortable and she was glad for it.

"And I am Neechan's future lover, Arisugawa Sorata-chan," the boy announced enthusiastically, stealing a tiny smile from Hokuto. Arashi-chan however glared at him, causing him to look embarrassed. A couple in denial, Hokuto thought. Cute. Very cute, and for a moment this distracted her from her own dark thoughts.

"I am one of the Ten no Ryu summoned by the YumeMi, Hinoto Hime. Can you please tell us your name?" Arashi-chan continued formally, apparently trying to ignore Sorata.

"I'm Hokuto, Sumeragi Hokuto, but you can call me simply Hokuto-chan," she introduced herself with another forced smile. It was hard to smile after she had just found and lost Subaru, but she would do it. At least now she knew Subaru was still alive and well, and that was what really mattered. She still had hope. She still could save him. She would surely save him.

"You are the 13th Sumeragi no Chou!" Arashi and Sorata exclaimed together looking quite surprised. Hokuto didn't blame them. Many people hadn't wanted to believe the Sumeragi no Chou could be such a pretty, young girl.

"Yes," she replied bitterly, her gaze lowering. "In a fashion." Not so much the real KaChou, she was a mere substitute, someone who had taken the position that should have belonged to Subaru to save the appearances after the Sumeragi Ichimon had lost their chosen heir and most powerful member to the Sakurazukamori. She disliked the role and had taken it only for Subaru. To save Subaru, to get the power to help him, to protect him when she got him back. In Hokuto's world Subaru was all that mattered.

"So you're a Ten no Ryu too..." Arashi stated. Hokuto shook her head sadly.

"No. You're wrong. I've not that power. It... it belonged to another..." she replied simply.

"What? What do you mean?" Arashi asked, frowning. Why should the Sumeragi Ichimon give the leadership to this girl if she wasn't their most powerful member?

"It belongs to your brother, doesn't it? To the one who met the Sakurazukamori when he was still a child," Sorata said gently. He saw Hokuto biting her lower lip and tightening her fists and immediately understood he had guessed right. He felt sympathy for her. It would have been hard to lose a brother. "But the Sakurazukamori didn't kill him, did he?" he continued. "He just took him away. Is that Niichan who was with the Sakurazukamori your brother?" he asked then, even more gently. He had noticed the resemblance between them and how the girl had reacted to him. There could have been only one explanation for it, and from the look on Hokuto-chan's face he was sure he had found the right one.

"That man... he... he had took Subaru away... away from his home when he was only nine and then... then he must have done something to him... Subaru... Subaru doesn't recognize me anymore... He doesn't know he has a sister anymore... He doesn't know he's a Sumeragi anymore... He... He had always been such a kind person... I... I can't believe the Sakurazukamori managed to twist him so much he would wish to stay close to that... to that murderer... My Subaru... My Subaru..." Hokuto was babbling, her composure and cheerful appearance shattered and she knew it. All that pain she had kept inside for so long was slowly spilling out and she wasn't able to stop it. Not after seeing what the Sakurazukamori had done to her brother. All she wanted was to bring her Subaru back... To save him... To protect him... It was all she asked...

Sorata gently placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Please, don't cry. I'm sure Neechan and I will find a way to help you. For now, why don't you come with us to YumeMi Hime? Maybe she'll be able to give us some helpful information," he suggested with an encouraging smile. Hokuto dried her eyes again, nodded and rewarded him with another smile, this time more heartfelt. It has been so long since the last time someone had shown her some kindness... She definitely had to help that boy to get the love of Arashi-chan there!

Elsewhere Seishiro was quietly walking with his Subaru-kun under the full moon. The boy was in a better mood than Seishiro would have expected him to be in, even if he looked more lost in his thoughts than usual.

Seishiro was optimist.

He was sure he could get Subaru-kun in a good mood right after dinner. They had wasted more time than he would have liked in Nakano and now he was hungry. Since Subaru-kun was less upset now, he planned to allow them to have a good dinner at Sunshine 60 before going straight home.

Sunshine 60 was another of Tokyo's Kekkai. It was going to be destroyed soon, and before that day Seishiro planned to fully enjoy its many restaurants. Maybe he and Subaru-kun could even have a romantic dinner with candlelight, he mused as he wrapped an arm around the boy dragging him closer. Subaru-kun leaned obediently against him, his arms automatically going around his waist as Seishiro had taught him to do. Yes, Seishiro thought, it was going to be a good night.

It was then that fate decided to prove him wrong.

The surge of power hit them both, as well as every Ten no Ryu or Chi no Ryu no matter where they were or what they were doing. The two Kamui had been awoken.(4)

Seishiro cursed as he grabbed Subaru-kun and supported him as the boy screamed in pain. None of the other Chi no Ryu or Ten no Ryu were affected that badly by the two Kamui's awakening, but for Subaru-kun things were different. The boy was under a spell that controlled his will. That stupid power surge had probably tampered with the spell causing this evidently quite painful reaction. Seishiro held Subaru-kun in his arms protectively until the pain subsided and the screams turned into soft whimpers, rubbing Subaru-kun's back soothingly. Stupid, stupid power surge. Couldn't the two Kamui awake more discreetly? Did they really have to warn everyone in such a spectacular manner? If this was going to ruin his plans for the night Seishiro was going to be quite disappointed.(5)

"Are you well now, Subaru-kun?" he asked the boy gently when Subaru-kun calmed down, leaning limply against Seishiro.

"Hurt..." the boy whimpered wrapping with some effort his arms around Seishiro's neck and hiding his face against his chest. He felt weak and on the verge of fainting. The pain in his head was atrocious and he was starting to feel nauseous and scared. He had no idea what was wrong with himself. He didn't realize that what he had felt was due to the awakening of the two Kamui, he had just felt the pain. "It hurt so much, Seishiro-san..." he whimpered again, searching for comfort. Seishiro sighed. He just knew it; they weren't going to have their romantic dinner at Sunshine.

"It's okay, Subaru-kun. It'll pass soon. I'll take you home now," he said picking the boy up in his arms and starting to walk away. He didn't mind much carrying Subaru-kun around like that, he had plenty of years of practice and the boy didn't weigh much anyway. It seemed that they would have to eat at home. Oh well, they should still have some slices of cake...

Subaru slumped in Seishiro-san's arms as the man picked him up, leaning his head against his shoulder. There was a faint blush on his cheeks but the prevailing feeling was thankfulness for Seishiro-san's help. He wouldn't know what to do without the man. He saw Seishiro-san smiling down at him and sighed in relief. The man wasn't mad at him and, as he had said, it was getting better. Seishiro-san was always so nice with him... He tried to get closer to him, seeking his protection and warmth. To be close to Seishiro-san was all that Subaru wanted and needed right then.

Seishiro's smile widened at that. Now he was sure that, once the pain faded, Subaru-kun would be in the right mood. Maybe giving up on their romantic dinner wouldn't be so bad after all...

Elsewhere, the Ten no Ryu were facing a different problem. They had arrived too late, only in time to see Kamui pinned to a wall with broken glasses, while Kotori was bounded to a cross, and stabbed by the ShinKen. Fuma, or rather the Chi no Ryu's Kamui, was right next to her, his expression cold.

"Kamui, remember it... I will... kill you," he said to the stunned boy before leaving. Then... then the cross to which Kotori was bound started to collapse and the cables that had kept her bound to it started cutting into her skin, ripping her body into pieces. Kamui screamed, a desperate, wounded sound as the pieces of Kotori's body fell straight in front of him, and freed himself, uncaring of the pain it caused him. Crawling, he approached what remained of the girl and cradled Kotori's head, his eyes wide and empty as the shock of what had happened made him temporarily numb to the pain. Then, as what had happened sunk into him he screamed again, as his whole soul drowned in the pain.

To be continued...

JJ's Notes:

1. Yes, I know, Sorata normally calls Arashi 'Neechan'. However the word 'Neechan' can be used to call girls normally. It's a bit confidential (it would be more proper to use 'Neesan') but since Sorata called Subaru 'Niichan' the first time he saw him I figured it would make sense for him to call Hokuto 'Neechan'.

2. For who hadn't had the chance to read the 'Tokyo Babylon' manga in it is showed how Hokuto had a big fashion sense and loved to come up with new outfits for her and Subaru. I assume she wouldn't mind to dress other people too. Always in 'Tokyo Babylon' she was also very focused in getting together Seishiro and Subaru. I assume she enjoys to play matchmaker.

3. For who hadn't had the chance to read the 'X' manga I'll point out that, in it, differently from the anime, the guys changes their clothes. Sorata was wearing a black suit because that day he had took part to Kyougo's funeral.

4. I cut another piece of what happened in the 'X' manga that happened exactly the same in this fic. For who hadn't the chance to read it however here it's what had happened. Once arrived in CLAMP Gakuen Imonoyama Noroku explains to Kamui that CLAMP Gakuen had been built to protect the ShinKen until the promised day then he shows to Kamui a tape in which Tokiko asks him to choose which destiny he would prefer, if he wants to be a Ten no Ryu or a Chi no Ryu. While Kamui is thinking at it Kotori, still insane, falls in a pool (yes, in the manga she is awake and not bed ridden as in the anime). Kamui and Fuma run to help her and she says them that she loves Earth and the fact that Kamui lives on Earth makes the place even more special to her. Kamui then said that he didn't care about Earth but he wants to protect the place in which Fuma and Kotori live. As he says so Fuma awakes as Chi no Ryu's Kamui and blows up the place. He then traps Kotori with cables on a cross shaped structure, stab Kamui's arms and one leg to a piece of concrete, tells him he'll murder humanity and then uses the ShinKen to kill Kotori. He'd like to do the same with Kamui but Kakyou manipulate Kotori's dead body so that Fuma couldn't retrieve the ShinKen.

5. In the manga, when the two Kamui awake, all the Ten no Ryu and Chi no Ryu became immediately aware of it. It might be because Fuma blew up part of a building but not everyone should have been that close to where the two Kamui were so I think they just felt Kamui's power. Also, in the manga, no one is hurt by their awakening. Subaru have a painful reaction to the thing due to the spell Seishiro used on him. Technically Subaru is a Ten no Ryu so something in him should react to the Ten no Ryu's Kamui who is the leader of the Ten no Ryu but this messed up with the spell that tried to guard his loyalty to Seishiro.

JJ's Extra Notes:
Again, I had to cut a part of the story because it was nothing different from what happens in the manga.
About Hokuto... she's trying to be a tough girl but she's obviously suffering a lot for what happened to her brother. As for Sorata... Sorata in the manga is clearly a sharp person who hides it behind a playful façade. As for Seishiro... yes he's always kind to Subaru and treats him well. Why? If you'll ask him he'll reply that Subaru is his favourite possession and, due to this, he would never damage him and while he could easily force him to have sex with him using the spell and Subaru wouldn't manage to oppose, due to the fact that Subaru still have tiny flickers of will this fact would damage Subaru psychologically. Seishiro prefers to manipulate Subaru, so to have him willingly obedient to him than to force him into obedience.

Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-kun: Young
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Fuku: School Uniform
Gakuen: Campus
Hime: Princess
Ichimon: "Family" or "Household" or "Clan"
KaChou: Family Head
Kekkai: Shield
Maboroshi: Illusion
Miko: "Shrine Maiden" or "Priestess"
Neechan: "Sister" or "Older Girl"
Neesan: "Sister" or "Older Girl"
Niichan: "Brother" or "Older Boy"
Obaachan: "Grandmother" or "Old Woman"
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Sakura: "Cherry Tree" or "Cherry Blossom"
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill who threatens Japan
ShinKen: "Sword Given By God" or "Sword Offered To God"
Sumeragi no Chou: Sumeragi's Head
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven
YumeMi: "Dreamgazer". Who can see the future in dreams

Replies to reviews:

To Everyone who reviewed: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me!

To Gray Wings and Dark Angel Of Fire Ice: I'm glad you liked this! As for Seishiro and Subaru... It's still a bit too early to tell which will be their destiny in the end...

To Ruth: Yes, Hokuto will do all she can to get Subaru back. I'm glad you like the fics I've on the Livejournal however many of the fics there are just temptative versions of fics I don't know if I'll manage to end. When I'm sure one of them will be finished I'll immediately post it here. Yes CWWYW is a very long fic... but since the temptative version is almost finished I'm posting the definitive one here.

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