Title: "Careful With What You Wish - Chap 8: Demon Days"
Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA. It requires knowledge of the 'X' manga. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), some OOC, a bit of sappiness, twisted relationships, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, violence, general insanity and other stuffs I might have forgot... Deal with this fic with caution...
Notes: This is dark and twisted, dark and twisted, dark and twisted... have I mentioned it's dark and twisted? It's born to show a less nice Seishiro, how bad is Fuma's idea that Wishes must be fulfilled and how stubborn can be Subaru no matter what happened to him.
Warning over notes: This fic has notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. However I suggest you to read the notes AFTER you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Thanks:
To Jennifer for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
To Moko, Tanuki-dono, Meffie, Sakanagi and Yupita for supporting me while writing this fic! Thank you a lot!
Summary: After meeting Subaru in his Maboroshi 16 years ago Seishiro chose to keep him and placed him under a spell so that he would obey to him. Now, in the year of the destiny he has to face Sumeragi Hokuto who wants her brother back and Monou Fuma's obsession for fulfilling wishes...

'We should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.' Andy Rooney

"Well these demon days are so cold inside
It's so hard to live, and so to survive
You can't even trust the air you breathe
Cause Mother Earth has a soul to leave
When lies become reality
You love yourself because it's easy
Pick yourself up it's a brand new day
So turn yourself round
Don't burn yourself, turn yourself
Turn yourself around to the soul."
(Gorillaz - "Demon Days")

Subaru was sitting quietly around the small table without paying much interest to Kigai-san and Satsuki-san's conversation as he stared at his still full cup of tea without daring to touch it.(1) He felt alone without Seishiro-san, and he didn't like it; he liked what was going on even less. Kamui had summoned Seishiro-san, he had requested specifically for him after three months of doing nothing. He felt certain something was up and he was sure that Kuzuki-san knew about it, but the man wasn't talking and Subaru didn't feel like he was allowed to ask.

Kuzuki-san.

Kuzuki-san wanted to die, to escape from a destiny he hated with all his heart, and the Chi no Ryu's Kamui planned to murder him in order to help him fulfil his Wish. The Chi no Ryu's Kamui believed he was doing him a favour by helping him fulfil his Wish. Subaru found that idea twisted and the logic behind that action flawed. While it was true that Kuzuki-san's life was miserable, dying wouldn't make him happy and maybe it wouldn't even give him the freedom he longed for. People who died a violent death too often remained bonded to the world of the living, unable to move over.(2)

He had tried telling that to Seishiro-san but Seishiro-san didn't really care about other people, and so he had listened to Subaru with a patient expression and then had effortlessly shrugged off Kuzuki-san's problem. They didn't affect him or Subaru so why should they get involved in them? Subaru hadn't been able to find words to counter his point and so he had never brought up the topic again.

Subaru glanced at the watch again, wondering anxiously when Seishiro-san would be back.

He didn't like Seishiro-san spending time with the Chi no Ryu's Kamui. The teenager was so set on fulfilling Wishes and plotting schemes in order to do so that he never stopped to think whether it was right to fulfil said Wishes, he never stopped to think of the consequences that their fulfilment could bring. Subaru didn't want the boy to hang around Seishiro-san. He doubted anything good would come of it, and he was terrified by the idea the boy could cause harm to Seishiro-san. Seishiro-san tended to underestimate Kamui. Subaru wasn't making the same mistake but, without Seishiro-san's support, there was nothing he could do besides try to quietly protect the man.(3)

He stole another glance at the still closed door.

He hated to be alone without Seishiro-san. He wasn't good at interacting with other people and they had never wanted him around in the first place.(4) No one had wanted him around; no one had showed interest in him except Seishiro-san and... that girl they met at the Sun Plaza.

He wondered about her sometimes.

He didn't mean to do it. Seishiro-san had told him to forget about her and he had tried to do so, he had tried hard but... he couldn't. Those sad green eyes filled with longing... that determined expression, those features so similar to his own and something, something inside himself, that had screamed that he had known her before, that there was a connection between them, that...

Subaru sighed. Nothing good would come from this either. Seishiro-san had never liked to share Subaru's attention with anyone else. Subaru had learned that the hard way. She was lucky that Seishiro-san had let her go that time, that he hadn't tracked her down and murdered her afterwards. Seishiro-san... He felt his need for the man's presence growing inside himself in an almost painful manner. He just wasn't used to being without him. He needed him more than the air he breathed. He... Seishiro-san...

The door opened suddenly and Seishiro-san entered the room, his walk a bit more hurried than usual. Subaru had known him long enough to realize immediately that something was wrong even if he had no idea what. The man gave him a cheerful smile, one that Subaru knew very well was faked, and asked him if he was ready to leave without even paying a second glance to the sweets that accompanied the tea despite them being among his favourites.(5)

Definitely something was wrong if Seishiro-san could ignore sweets in favour of leaving the place as soon as possible.

Subaru stood obediently, made his farewells to the others politely, and followed Seishiro-san out of the place unquestioningly. He rarely asked questions. He knew it wasn't his place to question Seishiro-san's actions. As soon as they were in the open Seishiro-san stopped smiling and wrapped an arm around Subaru's shoulders, drawing him closer.

"Subaru-kun... is there something you Wish for?" the man asked in a low tone as if he didn't want to be heard by anyone but Subaru as he gazed distractedly at the sky. Something he wished for... What could Seishiro-san mean? Subaru considered the time and decided to go for the most obvious thing.

"About dinner? Whatever you want is fine with me, Seishiro-san," he replied carelessly. He had never been a picky eater anyway. In fact, he had never been much of an eater. He always just tagged along when Seishiro-san chose what they were going to eat or where, and let the man fill his plate with whatever he decided Subaru should eat. If Subaru didn't feel like finishing it normally Seishiro-san would do so.(6)

"No. Not about dinner," Seishiro-san replied, contrary to Subaru's expectations, looking even more serious, as if he spoke of an extremely important matter.

Subaru blinked, failing to understand what the man could be referring to then. He knew that Seishiro-san liked giving him presents, in fact the man had often showered Subaru in gifts, but there was nothing Subaru really wished to get. What he had was more than enough for him.

"Seishiro-san... I... don't understand..." he admitted slowly. Seishiro-san looked down at him, sighed, and then slipped back into a pretence of his usual good mood.

"Never mind, Subaru-kun. It's just something that stupid Kamui said," Seishiro replied dismissively. He should have known that Kamui was wrong, that his Subaru didn't Wish for anything more than what he already had. He couldn't understand how he could have let that stupid teenager's words affect him.

"The Chi no Ryu's Kamui? He doesn't plan to fulfil your Wish, Seishiro-san, does he?" Subaru-kun asked with a certain apprehension, clinging to his coat anxiously. He was very cute like that, and that improved Seishiro's mood.

"Silly Subaru-kun, there's nothing I Wish for. I already have you," he replied in his normal teasing manner, lowering his head a bit to brush his cheek affectionately against Subaru-kun's hair.

Subaru said nothing. As well as the Chi no Ryu's Kamui he knew everyone had a Wish. Subaru had one, even if he didn't judge it important enough to mention, and Seishiro-san should have one as well. He only hoped the Chi no Ryu's Kamui didn't plan to try to fulfil Seishiro-san's... He didn't trust the teenager was capable of fulfilling Wishes. Not without causing more problems than the Wish he would fulfil was worth, and he didn't want Seishiro-san to have problems.

"By the way... we're invited to see Kamui destroy a Kekkai. No chance to turn down the invitation," Seishiro-san informed him, unaffected by the inner turmoil that gripped Subaru.

"Oh..." Subaru lowered his gaze. To destroy a Kekkai. To see more death and destruction and be able to do nothing but watch. It wasn't something he looked forward to. He felt Seishiro-san caressing his cheek gently and leaned into the touch, desperately seeking any form of comfort.

"Subaru-kun... you won't have to watch. We'll just be around and do nothing, I promise," Seishiro assured him, holding him protectively. He knew the boy was sensitive and that he would appreciate the gesture. Seishiro felt one could get more obedience with sugar than with a whip, and that method had always worked perfectly with Subaru-kun.

"As you want, Seishiro-san. If that's what you wish it's fine with me," the boy agreed tonelessly, leaning against him in an adorable needy manner. Kamui still made Subaru clingy, and it didn't help that he knew they were going to go to see a show that wasn't exactly to his liking. Seishiro tightened his hold around him and smiled softly, pleased by the boy's behaviour. That was his Subaru-kun, his beautiful, sweet, kind hearted, obedient and needy Subaru-kun. The most precious of all his possessions. Kamui was an idiot if he believed the boy could have a Wish that wasn't subordinate to what Seishiro wanted. Subaru-kun was his, totally his, in such a profound way that wasn't remotely comparable to what bonded Nataku to Kamui. No matter what Nataku did or said, it would always fall short compared with his Subaru-kun. Seishiro had put a spell on Subaru-kun and the boy would be his forever. Yes, he had put a spell on Subaru-kun. If he hadn't would Subaru-kun still...

Seishiro shook his head in order to dispel that though. It was stupid and he had no idea from where it came. Subaru-kun looked at him with those green eyes of his, green eyes that seemed to understand too much but longed for him only, and Seishiro rested his forehead against Subaru's watching them blur due to the proximity, becoming a single pool of green. The boy was his. Forever bound to him. He would never let him go. No one would ever break the tie between the two of them. No one.

The day after Shiro Kamui, better known as the Ten no Ryu's Kamui, announced to his housemates that he would have dinner with one of his classmates, a certain Segawa Keiichi-kun, an overly cheerful CLAMP Gakuen student who was also Kamui's class representative. Everyone in the house thought it was a good sign, that Kamui, who until then had been very introverted and closed in on himself, was finally starting to relate to people unconnected with the destiny of the Earth, that, maybe, just maybe, he was beginning to heal from the wounds Fuma's betrayal inflicted on his soul and spirit, and that was good.

Truth be told, Kamui wasn't coping that well with the situation, and the visit was more due to Segawa-kun's insistence than any real wish to spend time with him. He had never been very social, not even before 1999, and after what had happened to Kotori and Fuma... He was just... trying.

It was hard not to feel sympathy for Segawa-kun and his mother. They were so cheerful and kind despite the loss of Segawa-kun's father in the Nakano earthquake. It was people like them he had to protect now. People like Segawa-kun and his mother, people like Sorata, Hokuto, Arashi and Yuzuriha.

He had no idea why he felt the need to protect them, why he felt connected to them, people he had known for only three months, until Segawa-kun started questioning him about them.

"Are they some sort of relatives?" he asked innocently.

"Nope," Kamui replied immediately.

"Eh? Then siblings?" Segawa-kun asked then, surprised.

"No."

"Then, are they friends?" the boy offered. The question startled Kamui. Were they? Had he lived with them for three months without realizing he had started to consider them as such? Had he finally found other friends besides Kotori and Fuma?

"Friends...? Yes... maybe..." he had replied unsure. He really... didn't know... Besides Kotori and Fuma... he had never had any other friends... and he hadn't seen the Monou siblings for so long and... he wasn't sure how he had grown to consider them as friends, it had just happened naturally but, back then, he was only a child.

"If you're not connected by blood, but being with them makes you happy, then they're friends, aren't they?" Segawa-kun suggested to him gently, as if sensing his confusion on the topic.

"Yes... I think so..." he had agreed hesitantly while looking up at the taller boy. Segawa-kun looked relaxed and at ease, as if he enjoyed his company. Kamui couldn't really understand why. He knew he wasn't very social... or funny... or interesting...

"I'd like to be one too, you know?" the boy said all of sudden. "Shiro-kun's friend!" Segawa-kun explained with a smile, and it was weird but that statement made Kamui oddly happy. It made him happy that people might wish to be his friends.

His happiness didn't last. The earth began to quake and he felt the presence of a Chi no Ryu. Kamui abandoned Segawa-kun with some hurried explanation that really didn't explain anything and started running toward the Sunshine building, hoping to reach it in time.

To be continued...

JJ's Notes:

1. In the manga it seems that taking tea together is a ritual for Yuto and Satsuki. Kanoe also takes part to it. I assumed the 'tea break' is opened to everyone who's free and in the Chi no Ryu's Headquarter and that's why Subaru and Kakyou are with them.

2. I know, I know in 'X' Subaru too wished to be killed... but here his situation is different and he believes people should be helped out not murdered...

3. Remember? Subaru's under a spell. He can't act against Seishiro's wishes and if Seishiro wants to hang around Kamui he can't stop him.

4. In 'Tokyo Babylon' Subaru admits he's not good at dealing with people. Here he also didn't remember his family therefore he knows he only had Seishiro to care for him.

5. In 'Tokyo Babylon' and 'X' Seishiro looks like a bit of a glutton to me.

6. Always in 'Tokyo Babylon' it's pointed out that, without Hokuto around, Subaru wouldn't even remember he has to eat.

JJ's Extra Notes:
I particularly like to have Subaru surrendered by Chi no Ryu. No matter how many people he has around or which his situation is, he always searches for Seishiro. I also like to have Subaru and Kakyou 'interact'. They are pretty similar, in a fashion.

Dictionary:
-kun: Young
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Gakuen: Campus
Kekkai: Shield
Maboroshi: Illusion
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven

Replies to reviews:

To Everyone who reviewed: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me!

To Gray Wings: Sorry if I leave in the most interesting places... Here's what happens after...

To Dark Angel Of Fire Ice: I'm glad you liked the previous chapter. I hope you'll like the new one too.

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