Hey, guys. SO sorry for the delay for this chapter. I really am sorry.
I'll try to be quicker from now on. I promise.
Anyway, how are you guys liking the new episodes so far? In my opinion, I think they're fucking amazing! I especially liked last week's episode about the Broadway musicals. Oh Randy Marsh, how I love you. XD
Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter! Leave a review afterwards please. Xx
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
As I walk through the entrance of the school, I instantly see Kenny pressing Bebe against two lockers and kissing her roughly, his hands placed on the lockers on both sides of her head, trapping her, though she probably wouldn't have moved away anyway. She looks like she's enjoying it.
I also see Stan by his locker with Wendy, chatting to her with both hands on her shoulders, a concerned look on his face.
I walk past them and reach my own locker. I put in my combination code and start taking out the books I need for the first few classes.
When I'm done, I shut the locker and lock it, and then lean back against it, wondering what to do. Usually Stan and I head to our first class together in the mornings, since we happen to be in the same first class every day of the week.
But Stan is still talking with Wendy and I don't want to disturb them, but I also don't want to walk to class by myself. I like to have someone to have a chat with as I walk to and from classes.
I exhale a sigh and gaze around absentmindedly until a familiar person catches my eye- Eric Cartman, of course.
He's a few yards away, leaning against a random locker and chatting to Heidi Turner, a pretty brunette girl in our grade. It catches my attention instantly since Cartman never talks to Heidi, not even in Elementary School, except for the time we had to do some stupid parenting assignment and the two got paired up together.
But he's talking to her at this very moment, for reasons I don't know.
For some reason, I find myself feeling jealous as I watch the two talking. Heidi's back is facing me so I can't see her face but by the way her head bobs up and down occasionally, I can tell she's laughing. And Cartman is grinning and also laughing occasionally, adding to my jealousy.
As I stare at them talking and laughing, my face feeling hot, I spot Cartman glancing at me, having spotted me staring, and I instantly look away, my cheeks reddening and my eyes wide with panic.
I feel Cartman's eyes still on me and I swallow nervously, finding myself sweating for a number of reasons.
I turn my head fully away from the pair and pin my eyes onto the floor, as if it's so interesting. I feel other people's eyes on me as they pass, curious and confused, and I finally avert my eyes from the oh-so-interesting floor.
It's only when I look to my right that I realise Cartman is now standing directly behind me and I jump, startled.
Cartman smirks when I jump and I try to quickly mask my panic with a glare, though I fail miserably.
"Kahl, what are you doing?" he asks casually, an eyebrow cocked.
"I…I… uhh…" I trail off. Wow, great answer, Kyle!
I clear my throat before frowning up at him. "M-me? What are you doing?" I ask, circling the question back to him.
"I'm not doing anything," he answers simply. "You were looking at me funny when I was talking to Heidi. Why?"
He gazes down at me curiously, waiting for an answer though I only stare blankly up at him.
"I…" I trail off once again, lost for words.
I avert my eyes for a moment before shutting them completely. I take a silent, but deep, breath before opening my eyes again. When my eyes are open again, Cartman is gone.
My eyes widen momentarily before I frown and look around for him. I spot him heading towards his first class with someone by his side. I think it's Clyde but I can't be sure. I guess he got bored with waiting for an answer from me.
I breathe a sigh of relief and start heading towards my own class, not caring anymore if I'm walking alone.
The rest of the day passes slowly. A few of my teachers are out so I have some free classes to study; only I can't study. Though I try to, I just can't. I keep finding myself daydreaming, mainly about Cartman. I'm not even sure why I think about him so god damn much. He's a stupid, racist, anti-Semitic, self-centered asshole who I should hate so much that I'd want to see him die. But of course, I don't. If he died… I'm not sure how I'd take it.
If I died… I wonder how he'd feel. Would he scream and cry on his knees? No, definitely not.
Would he leave to cry in private and maybe refuse to come to my funeral but stay somewhere else and mourn for me alone? No, definitely not.
Would he even care? Hmm, not sure…
Would he laugh and celebrate? Most likely…
Although these things seem quite obvious, it still hurts to think about them. I mean, it hurts to know the one person you love would like nothing better than to watch you bleed and die, never to return again… It hurts more than anyone could ever realise.
"Kyle? You okay?"
A hushed voice breaks my train of thought and I look to my left to see Stan staring at me, looking concerned.
I flash him a smile to assure him I'm alright and nod to his question. "Yeah, I'm fine, dude."
He momentarily seems unconvinced but then returns my smile and continues to study. I stare down at the History book in front of me and try to learn, but as I focus on definitions, dates, famous wars and leaders, the words jumble up in my head and I don't know what I've just read.
I give up on trying to study and again let my mind wander onto Eric Cartman. My eyes, of their own accord, look back over my shoulder at the taller brunet boy sitting a few seats behind me in the middle row of seats.
His head is leaning on his palm and he's gazing around the room with a bored expression on his face, obviously not studying either. I trail my eyes over him curiously - his strong body, his broad chest, tough muscles, his handsome face, his soft lips, his messy brown hair, his sexy dark brown eyes…
I suddenly let out a gasp when I realise why I can see his eyes so clearly. He's looking right back at me!
I begin to panic as I see his eyes on me, a deep frown on his face and a questioning eyebrow raised. He mouths the words 'What the fuck are you looking at?' and I instantly look away and stare down at my History book in front of me, a deep blush staining my cheeks.
I feel his eyes still lingering on me for a few moments before he averts his gaze, to my relief.
I instantly dread it when the bell rings for the end of class because I know Cartman's going to want to talk to me and ask about me looking at him during class.
As soon as the bell rings, I throw my things into my schoolbag in a heap and rush towards the door, only to be blocked by none other than Cartman, who stands in front of me. I don't know how he managed to make it in front of me when he was sitting behind me, but it is Cartman so I don't ask questions.
"Cartman, move it," I say, trying to scoot past him but he side-steps in my way again, blocking my path.
"No. I need to ask you something first," he replies and I stop trying to pass him. There's no way out.
"Alright. What, Cartman?" I ask gruffly.
He grabs my arm and leads me out of the classroom and onto an empty part of the hall where we can talk privately. I don't bother struggling or trying to escape his grip. What's the point? He's way too strong for me.
"Why the hell were you staring at me like that in class just there?" he asks, his eyes pinned on me, watching closely for my reaction.
I meet his eyes and frown up at him, hiding my panic and slight fear pretty well.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask, knowing it's a pretty stupid reply.
Cartman's eyes narrow and I can already see him starting to grow impatient. "You know damn well what I mean, Jew! Don't play fucking games with me!"
I glare up at him, matching his narrowed eyes and annoyed expression, and he growls in irritation.
"I didn't mean to fucking stare at you, Cartman, alright?" I snap. "I was just looking around because I was bored and then I started daydreaming. And I just happened to be staring at you while I was lost in thought!"
I think it was a pretty believable lie and I sounded quite convincing.
I watch closely for Cartman's reaction, checking to see if he believes me or not. I blink in surprise when a smirk suddenly appears on his face, for a reason unknown to me.
I frown in confusion. "What?"
"What were you daydreaming about, Jew?" he asks, a devious look on his face. "When you were daydreaming, your mouth was hanging open and you were practically drooling, and there was some sort of glint in your eyes, full of lust."
I instantly blush crimson and Cartman's smirk widens when he notices.
"You're fucking retarded, Cartman. I wasn't thinking about anything like that, okay?" I snap, unable to look him in the eyes any longer.
He chuckles lightly to himself and then leans in closer to me, so his mouth is right up against my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin.
"Well, who were you thinking about, Kahl?" he hisses in my ear, causing a shiver to run down my back. "Stan? Kenny?" He pauses before adding in a sly tone: "Me?"
Another shiver runs down my back and he chuckles in my ear before pulling back and smirking at me.
My cheeks feel as hot as an oven right now and I purposely avoid his eyes and stare down at the floor, blushing ferociously.
"Well, Kahl?" he asks, folding his arms across his muscular chest. "Who were you daydreaming about?"
I glare at the floor and am about ready to shout something at him when the bell suddenly rings for the next class, startling both of us momentarily.
I push past Cartman roughly and start heading for my next class, already hearing him come after me. He's in my next class too. God dammit!
"Kahl! Kahl, wait up!"
He soon reaches my side and I ignore his presence and focus my eyes straight ahead.
"What class do we have now, Jew?" he asks, and again, I ignore him.
He grows angry. "Kahl, answer me!"
No reply.
He loses it very quickly and pushes me roughly. I hit the row of lockers against the wall hard and fall to the ground in a daze, feeling my head whirling. I groan and clutch both sides of my head tightly, trying to stop everything from spinning.
After a couple of minutes, everything stops whirling and I can see clearly again. I instantly see three girls surrounding me and two girls behind them, shouting angrily at Cartman.
"Kyle, are you okay?" one of the girls - Red - asks me.
"Uhh… y-yeah, I'm fine," I reply, moving to stand up.
The three girls, who I now realise are Red, Annie and Bebe, help me to my feet.
I rub the back of my head to try and sooth the pain from where I connected with the row of lockers and then tell the three girls that I'm okay and thanks for helping me up.
I then approach Cartman being yelled at by Wendy and Heidi, and interrupt the argument.
"Uhh, Wendy, Heidi? It's okay. I can handle this. Thanks," I tell them, silencing their argument.
They nod and smile before leaving. I shoot Cartman a furious glare and he just stares back at me innocently, as if nothing happened.
"What the fuck was that for?" I shout, feeling ready to beat him to a pulp, though I probably wouldn't be able to.
He frowns and shrugs indifferently. "You were ignoring me, Jew," he answers simply, as if that explains everything.
"That doesn't mean you have to push me into a fucking locker, asshole!" I yell, fury building up even more now. My head is still throbbing and it just angers me that much more.
He shrugs again. "You were pissing me off," he says.
My anger intensifies and I glare hatefully at him, my hands now forming into fists, wanting desperately to connect one of them with the side of his face.
I force myself not to and instead just roughly push past him, heading towards class, even though I'm already late for it. He grunts when I push past him and I feel his eyes on my back, glaring.
He only hesitates for a few seconds before running after me, reaching my side in seconds.
"Jeez, Kahl, don't tell me you got more sand in your vagina just cause I pushed you into a few lockers," he says.
I glare at him again and he smirks. "Cartman, if you don't shut up right now, I'll fucking kill you," I warn him.
He only scoffs at that and laughs, but shuts up anyway.
We head up to class and, as expected, the class are already inside and the lesson has started. I hesitate outside the door and Cartman bumps into me before moving back quickly, embarrassed.
"What are you waiting for?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"We're going to get in a load of shit since we're late," I say anxiously, forgetting about our fight for the moment.
"So what do you want to do?" he asks. "Go in or skip class?"
I smile and glance at him, thinking he's joking. When I see the serious look on his face, my smile fades and I raise my eyebrows in shock. "We can't skip class! We'll be caught!"
He exhales a sigh, rolling his eyes while doing so, and shakes his head. "No we won't, Kahl," he replies.
By the look on his face, I can tell he's telling the truth… I think.
I feel nervous as I consider both options. Then a frown suddenly appears on my face. "Hold on a sec! Why am I even considering this? You just pushed me into a row of lockers and then still continued to piss me off, and didn't apologize. Why would I skip class and go with you?"
I reach my hand out to grab the doorknob but Cartman grabs my arm and I instantly freeze.
I look up and meet his eyes accidentally, causing my heartbeat to unwillingly accelerate.
"Come on, Kahl. I don't want to skip by myself. It's boring without company, so boring that I'm willing to take even you along." He smirks before adding softly: "Just come with me. Just this once."
My mind reflects on what he just did to me minutes ago and a little voice inside me head tells me not to go with him and just go to class and make up some excuse for being late.
But my heart says to go with him. It's beating super fast right now and I blink in surprise at the abnormal speed of it.
Well my parents always say that if you have to make a tough decision, to always follow your heart. So that's what I'll do. Though honestly, if they knew about this particular situation, I'm sure they'd tell me to choose otherwise.
Anyway, putting that aside, I'll continue to go with my heart.
"Alright, fine! I'll go with you, fatass," I say, pretending to be annoyed by the situation though I can't help grinning at the excited thought of skipping class with Cartman.
He returns my grin, a look of joy seeming to cross his face momentarily before it quickly vanishes. He releases my arm, which I forgot he was still holding, and gestures for me to follow him in silence.
I nod and push the memories of what he just did to me to the back of my mind so I can try and have fun with the larger boy, for once.
He leads me past all the classrooms quietly and through the halls until we reach the back door. Cartman opens it as quietly as possible and gestures for me to go first. I shoot him a grateful smile before slipping outside, hearing him following close behind, closing the door quietly behind the two of us.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear the familiar sound of the door closing. We made it outside without being caught. Phew!
Cartman chuckles at my relieved expression and I laugh in response.
"Come on," he says, and I follow him out to the front gates of the school, where we fully exit the school grounds.
"Where will we go?" I ask.
Cartman shrugs. "There's nowhere to go when you skip school in this fucking town," he grumbles.
I glance around at our surroundings, thinking hard. A thought soon comes to me. "We could go to the basketball court and play a little one-on-one," I suggest, grinning.
He briefly returns my grin before a smirk takes over. "Okay. You do know you're gonna get your ass kicked though, right?"
My eyebrows rise, feigning surprise. "Oh really? Well let's just see then, shall we?"
I smirk back at him before I start to pick up my pace and I'm eventually jogging down the road, heading in the way of the old familiar basketball court, which I haven't been to in a long time.
Cartman only hesitates for a moment before I hear footsteps behind me and he is soon jogging by my side. We exchange challenging grins before increasing our speed and racing down the road, challenging each other.
I thought I'd easily be a faster runner than Cartman but it turns out I was wrong. He's fitter than I thought and since his legs are longer than mine, he can take larger steps than me.
I find it hard to outrun him but he also finds it pretty difficult. I may be small but I'm quick.
After a few minutes of non-stop racing, we finally reach the court and slow to a halt inside. A draw.
"Wow," I mutter, panting heavily and gasping for air. "Tha-that was fun."
I bend down and rest my hands on my thighs while trying to regain my breath. Cartman's also breathing heavily, just as much as me.
"Yeah," he replies breathlessly. "Y-you're faster than I… thought, Jew."
I look up at him, grinning. "Th-thanks. You too."
Cartman slowly starts walking towards the bench and sits down on it, catching his breath easier.
I hesitate for a moment before following him and taking a seat next to him, making sure not to be too close to him, and also try to catch my breath.
We sit in silence for a good five minutes before we both finally manage to get our breaths back. Then Cartman stands and picks up the basketball that's always left here and throws it in the basket, punching the air in triumph when it goes in.
"Nice one," I comment, before getting to my feet and grabbing the ball off him.
"Nice one? That was an awesome one, not just a nice one!" he retorts, his eyebrows raised.
I ignore him and take a shot of my own, hoping to remove that smug grin off his face. The ball circles around the net and I think it's going to fall through the net but instead it falls off the edge, causing my hopeful face to fall.
Cartman laughs out loud and I shoot him a glare. "Shut the hell up, fatass."
He stops laughing and rolls his eyes at the name, and I smirk, knowing how much he hates that insult, especially since he isn't even that fat anymore. Still, he'll always be a fucking fatass to me.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Jew, to choose a new god damn nickname?"
"Yeah yeah, whatever," I reply, picking up the ball and passing to him without warning.
He realises the ball is coming for him just in time and catches it just before it hits his face, flashing me a glare before taking a shot. It doesn't get in this time and I chuckle.
"Shut up, Jew, and take your shot," he snaps, shoving the ball into my arms, causing it to smack against my chest hard.
I frown, but don't comment, and take a shot, missing it again. Cartman takes his turn and gets it in, smirking as he retrieves the ball and hands it to me.
"This isn't fair! You're taller than me so it's easier for you to score!" I complain, pouting a little childishly.
He shrugs indifferently. "I guess that could be true. So I guess I do have the advantage in this game."
I glare at the ball in front of me before moving to take a shot. Before I can throw it, I suddenly shriek as I'm suddenly being lifted in the air, by what, I don't know.
I shriek again and look down. I'm surprised to see Cartman holding me up, with ease I might add, wearing a large grin on his face.
"Ah! Cartman, put me down!" I cry, grasping one of his hands holding my waist with my free hand while I hold the ball in the other.
"Why? You were just complaining that I have the advantage since I'm taller. So now you're taller than me. Why are you complaining?" he replies, raising an eyebrow.
"B-but I-"
"You won't fall," he interrupts me, already knowing what I was about to say. "I got you, Jew. Don't be such a pussy."
I frown at that but my heart tells me to trust him so I do.
I hesitate a few moments before slowly releasing his hand and placing both my hands on the ball. I gulp nervously before slowly lifting it up and throwing it.
I watch in amazement as the ball flies through the hoop, barely touching the edges.
Forgetting my fear for a moment, unintentionally, I punch the air with my knuckles in triumph, using both my hands.
When I feel Cartman's hands tighten on my waist, holding me steady, my fear returns and I grip onto his hands with fright, not enjoying the thought of falling onto the hard concrete ground.
I silently, mentally beg Cartman to put me down and, as if he can read minds, he gently and carefully places me back onto my feet.
I don't have my balance for a while and so fall backwards as soon as my feet touch the ground, landing safely in Cartman's arms. He pushes me back onto my feet almost immediately and holds me steady by the shoulders until I can stand by myself again.
"Jesus, Jew, it's like you're fucking drunk or something," he says, releasing my shoulders.
I chuckle nervously, only realising now that there's a dark blush staining my cheeks. This is what happens when Cartman touches me like that!
"So what? No 'thank you' for helping you score a basket, and then for preventing you from falling when I could have easily dropped you on purpose and laughed my head off at your glorious pain?" Cartman asks, raising an eyebrow.
I sigh. I hate thanking Cartman for things but I guess he does deserve it.
"Thanks," I say, flashing him a grateful smile.
He returns a smile before smirking. "You know, you should really thank me more often for stuff, Jew. It's good to hear you appreciate the things I do for you."
I stare at him incredulously and he chuckles in response. "Cartman, this is probably the only nice thing you've ever done for me!" I reply, folding my arms across my chest.
"What? No it's not!" he cries in disagreement. "I've done loads of nice things for you, Kahl!"
I think he's joking for a moment but by the look on his face, I'm guessing he's serious.
I raise an eyebrow. "Alright, name three nice things you've ever done for me, not including this one," I say, smirking, dying to hear this.
He also crosses his arms and frowns. "Fine," he says, agreeing to the challenge. Well I call it a challenge, since I think it is tough to answer, coming from him.
He thinks for a moment. "Well I… I-I got us to go to Magic Johnson when we both had AIDS! If I didn't say we should go to him, we'd either still have AIDS now or we'd be dead."
I think it over before frowning. "Yeah but that could have just been for yourself. You probably wouldn't have cared if I didn't get cured."
He shakes his head. "Not true, Kahl. If that was true, I would have went to see Magic myself and not taken you along."
"No because I threatened to break your Xbox so you had to take me along," I add, recalling the unforgettable memory.
He frowns. "God dammit, Kahl! I did care, alright?"
He looks annoyed and, although I don't believe he'd really care if I'd been cured or not, I pretend to believe him. I'm not in the mood to start an argument.
"Alright fine, that's one. Another one?" I ask.
He thinks for a while and while he thinks, I take another few shots at the basket, missing them all miserably.
Cartman's too deep in thought to notice, to my delight. He'd rip on me otherwise.
"Well," he suddenly speaks up, grabbing my attention. "There was the time when you were almost killed by Manbearpig and I saved your life. If I wasn't there at that moment, you wouldn't be here right now," he says, and I freeze, staring at him incredulously.
Wow, I forgot about that.
"Alright, but there's no more," I say, though I'm beginning to have my doubts.
He begins to think again and I continue playing. I take a few more shots, missing all but one, and then start dribbling the ball around Cartman, impatiently waiting for his answer. I see him start to get frustrated and he shoots me a glare.
"Kahl, how am I meant to concentrate if you keep making noise and moving around me like that?" he asks, clearly annoyed.
I shrug innocently, then add, "By magic."
He rolls his eyes at the stupid answer to his rhetorical question and continues to think while I move away from him, taking more shots.
"I know!" he finally cries after another couple of minutes, startling me. I drop the ball and face him, interested.
"When you and your family moved to San Francisco and I went there and saved you from the smug storm! That was good," he says, grinning.
I stare blankly at him, my eyebrows raised and my eyes widened.
His smirk suddenly fades and a look of confusion spreads on his face. "W-what?"
"That was you?" I whisper quietly, too shocked to speak any louder.
Suddenly something seems to click inside his brain and he clamps his hand over his now open mouth in shock. "Holy shit! I… I forgot you didn't… I mean… I-"
He shakes his head in disbelief and shuts his eyes, exhaling a sigh of exasperation.
"Cartman, you've already said it now so there's no point trying to deny it or whatever. Tell me the full story," I say, finding my voice again, eying him curiously.
He removes his hand from his mouth and stares at me, thinking hard, probably debating whether or not to tell me what I want to know.
He finally sighs in defeat. "Alright fine, you nosy Jew-rat."
I don't comment on the insult. I don't want to side-track him. I just wait for him to begin.
He sighs again and inhales a quick breath before speaking, still seeming annoyed at himself for letting that slip.
"Well," he begins. "When you first moved away to San Francisco… I was happy. I thought my life would be perfect…" He pauses and looks away from me, off to the side, a faraway look on his face. "It was Stan who told me that without you to rip on all the time, my life would be meaningless. I didn't believe him at first because I had Butters to rip on, but it just wasn't the same."
He glances back at me, his eyes meeting my curious ones, his expression unreadable. "So I went to San Francisco just before the storm truly hit and saved you and your family."
There's complete silence for the next few minutes while I let his words sink in and then I gaze back at him.
"S-so… you saved me and my family because you needed me to rip on?"
He nods, though that faraway look reappears on his face, and I start to think he's not telling me something. I decide to forget about it and I flash him a smile, to which he responds with a surprised expression and a cocked eyebrow.
"What's with the smile?" he asks, confused.
"Thanks for saving me, Cartman," I reply, feeling a warm fluttery feeling in my chest as I continue to smile at him. "Thanks so much. If I'd known you'd done that earlier, I would have been a whole lot nicer to you since then."
My smile slowly fades and I blink in sudden confusion as Cartman suddenly shoots me a hateful glare, despite the fact I just said something nice to him.
"Uhh, Cart-"
He suddenly grasps my shoulders tightly and pushes me right back against the fence surrounding the court, leaning in close to glare at me, our eyes locked on the other's. I stare blankly at him, wanting to hide my sudden fear but knowing I'm failing. I can hear my heart racing quickly inside my chest and I pray that he can't hear it too.
"Cartman, what the-"
"Don't you fucking get it, Jew?" he asks, his voice angry and low, causing a shiver to run down my back. "Why do you think I kept it a secret all these years? Because I knew that if you knew I saved your life, you'd act nicer towards me. That's exactly what I didn't and don't want! I only saved your life because I need you to rip on. There's no other reason! I don't want you to act nice to me! Don't you get it?"
I nod quickly, eager for him to release me, and he instantly stops talking. He continues to glare at me for another few seconds before he steps back, releasing my now sore shoulders, and mutters something quietly to himself before taking a few steps away from me, his eyes anywhere but on me.
Though I'm now free from his tight grip and capable of movement again, I don't. I remain where I am, frozen and staring blankly at Cartman.
I feel both surprised and hurt, as well as a little scared. Surprised because he became angry so quickly after being in such a good mood.
And hurt because Cartman hated the idea of me being nice to him. Any hints, ideas or thoughts that Cartman maybe likes me back all disappear suddenly, and I know for certain that he truly hates me, or at least doesn't like me the way I like him.
It hurts… Though I knew it was probably that way anyway, it still delighted me to even have a spark of hope that he maybe liked me back. Now all hope is gone. Eric Cartman hates me, and that won't ever change…
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
Did you like it? Please leave a review whether you did or not! xx