After another few minutes on the basketball court, the two of us return to school in silence, not even looking at each other. All the way up, I feel a heavy sinking feeling in my chest and I so badly want someone to comfort me.

I need Stan right now. He's the only true friend I have who I can go to whenever I need him, such as this moment right now. I need him to cheer me up. I need my super best friend right this minute, before I end up crying my eyes out right in front of our class (once we get inside) and right in front of Cartman.

I keep my head low as I head to the next class with Cartman. Just before I open the door to head inside, Cartman grabs my arm and pulls me to the side, away from the door. I blink in surprise but don't struggle or argue as he pulls me away.

I lean back against the wall as he stands in front of me, his eyes pinned on me. I don't dare lock eyes with him. I look over his shoulder, at nothing in particular.

"Listen, Kahl. I know you're upset, okay? I'm sorry you're sad because I saved your life just so I can continue to rip on you and to hate you. But unfortunately for you, that's the way it is. I didn't save you for any other reason. I don't care about you in the slightest, okay? You're going to have to deal with it. I don't know what you think of me as, but to me, you're nothing but a Jewish rat who I hang out with and who was only born for me to rip on. You're nothing else to me."

I stare at him, not looking directly into his eyes, forcing myself not to cry, though it's difficult. There's a huge lump in my throat that's almost forcing me to shed tears. But I fight against it. That's me, Kyle Broflovski, the fighter.

Cartman's eyes linger on me for a few more seconds, watching for my reaction, before he finally turns and heads towards the door of the classroom.

I don't budge. I stay in the same spot, gazing at the exact spot where Cartman's eyes were moments ago, imagining he's still there, in front of me.

"Kahl?"

I blink and slowly look to my left, seeing Cartman standing outside the door and giving me an annoyed look, waiting for me.

"If you don't hurry up, I'll go inside without you and you'll be late," he says.

I exhale a quiet sigh. I'm the one who put him in a bad mood in the first place. Wow, I suck.

I take a silent deep breath before forcing myself to follow him inside, still trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to escape…

I sit at an empty seat at the back of the room, nowhere near any of my friends. There's a spare seat beside Stan but I don't sit there. There's still a lump in my throat and I can't seem to talk. I'll only end up crying if my friends start talking to me.

I don't concentrate for the whole class and am thankful that Mr Dalton doesn't ask me any questions today, possibly noticing that I'm upset, or maybe I'm just lucky. All I've been doing for the whole class is trying to hold myself back from crying.

I feel a lot of eyes on me during the class and I've no idea what the expression on my face looks like.

It's soon the end of class and I slowly rise from my seat, slowly following the rest of the class out of the room, my head hanging low.

As soon as I'm out of the classroom, Stan and Kenny practically attack me with questions.

"Dude, what's wrong? You look really upset."

"Kyle, where were you last class?"

"Why do you look so down, dude? You look like the world's about to end."

"Is it something to do with Cartman?"

I wince at his name and my friends notice.

"I knew it!" Stan cries. "What did that fatass do to you this time?"

"Yeah. We'll kick his ass!" adds Kenny, balling his hands into tight fists for emphasis.

I just shake my head, unable to speak.

"What? Why not? He obviously hurt you bad. We gotta teach him a lesson," says Kenny, staring at me curiously.

I just shake my head again and weakly push past them, heading to my next class which, thankfully, Cartman's not in.

I feel both Stan and Kenny's eyes boring into the back of my skull as I walk before they both come after me, reaching my sides.

"Kyle, you should really tell us what's wrong. You look really depressed and you look like you're about to cry," Stan says softly.

I ignore him, and continue to walk ahead. It's weird. Not too long ago, I was hoping for Stan to be here, so he could cheer me up and comfort me. But now that he's here, I want him to leave me alone. I want peace.

After more questions and words to try to convince me to talk, my two friends finally decide to leave me alone, thankfully. I head to the next class alone; none of my friends are in this one with me, and I wait outside with the rest of the class until Mr Graham arrives.

-/-/-/-

The rest of the week passes at an extremely slow pace. I haven't been myself at all since that day on the basketball court with Cartman. Everyone seems to have noticed.

Stan and Kenny have approached me a good few times after that day, again just being good friends and trying to get some information out of me in order to help me.

But I haven't said anything to them. It's not that I don't trust them or anything. Of course I do. They're my best friends, especially Stan. It's just that… even though I'm annoyed at Cartman for hurting me like that, I just don't want Stan and Kenny to hurt him, even if he does deserve it. I'd rather just have peace and mope around like a normal teenager does. Yes, I know how depressing that sounds but really, this is what happens to every teenager. We all get around to that stage where we get hurt by the person we love. Though usually it's a guy getting hurt by a girl or a girl getting hurt by a guy. In most situations anyway. You rarely hear of gay people's love stories and dramas.

Anyway, back to reality and out of my ridiculous mind. So for the past week, I've been really quiet around everyone - my family, friends, and classmates. I'm usually that one smart kid in every class who always gives answers to every question. But I've been reasonably silent except for a rare time here and there. I guess that means even the teachers are noticing me acting differently too.

I don't know why exactly I'm acting this way. I know I'm overreacting. Cartman's always hated me and I've known that. So why, when he just proves it to me, do I actually feel really depressed? I knew he hated me even before then.

And yes, it was a shock when I found out about him saving me from San Francisco years ago. But it really shouldn't be a shock to find out he only did it because he needed me to rip on. This is Eric Cartman we're talking about. That's how his mind works. I shouldn't be surprised and I sure as hell shouldn't be freaking upset about it! What's wrong with me?

I know I've been acting really retarded for the last week but even though I know I have, I can't seem to snap out of it. I'm upset and hurt, and even though I know it's probably for a stupid reason, I still am. And I can't help it.

It's now Thursday, a week or so after that day on the basketball court. Lunch arrives after the classes seem to drag on for what seems like days and I slowly head to the cafeteria, Stan and Kenny on one side of me, chatting away to each other, leaving me out of it, to my gratitude.

When we reach the cafeteria, we sit down at our usual table and start eating. I stare down at my lunch but don't touch it. I'm too upset to eat.

Only about five minutes pass before Cartman arrives and sits at our table, opposite me.

"Hey, fatass," the other two greet him. I don't even look at him. In fact, I've tried my best not to look at him since that day. It'd only hurt and annoy me more.

"Stan, Kenny, Jew," he addresses us, before starting to eat.

I absentmindedly play with my salad with my fork, feeling as sad as ever.

I finally hear a loud sigh and I look up to see Cartman staring at me, a deep look of both concentration and irritation on his face as he studies me silently. I only stare back at him, no sign of emotion on my face.

He exhales another sigh before pushing his food tray away from him and standing up. "Come on, Kahl," he says, gesturing for me to follow him.

I blink at him dumbly, as if I didn't understand him.

He growls. "Kahl, come on. We need to talk."

"About what?" asks Stan suddenly, a look of concern on his face. I can tell from the look on his face that he's worried Cartman might hurt me more and as my super best friend, he's not going to let that happen.

Cartman ignores him and gestures for me to follow again. I mentally exhale a sigh before slowly rising to my feet and walking towards him. Stan makes a move to follow but I gesture for him to stay with my hand, not wanting him to worry. He sits back down reluctantly, though still with a deep frown on his face, eying Cartman suspiciously. Cartman says nothing about it. He grabs my arm and drags me out of the cafeteria, over to a spot in the corridor that's quiet and deserted.

"Kahl, we seriously need to talk," he says, pushing me in front of him before releasing my arm.

I stare at him, waiting for him to continue.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he suddenly cries, startling me a little. "You've been moping all week! I don't even know you anymore. You've barely said one word to anyone, including the teachers, and you're worrying everyone, especially Stan and Kenny. I'm not worried about you at all but you're seriously pissing me off! You don't respond to any of my insults, no matter how bad they are. What the hell is wrong with you?" he cries, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

I shake my head helplessly. He has no idea how much he's hurt me.

He groans in irritation and looks off to the side for a few minutes, trying to calm himself down.

When he seems calm again, he looks back at me, an unsure look on his face. "Kahl, just tell me what's wrong, alright?"

I continue to stare at him before finally deciding to try to speak. I clear my throat multiple times, seeing that Cartman is watching me closely, waiting.

"I…" I clear my throat a few times. "I-I'll tell you," I manage to say, delighted I can find my voice again.

I see him roll his eyes in annoyance, clearly because I just pointed out the obvious that I was going to tell him.

I clear my throat once more before I think my voice is okay again.

"What's wrong… is you," I say, and Cartman blinks in surprise, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

"What the hell do you mean?" he asks, frowning.

"I mean, you hurt me. I thought we were actually pretty good friends and we were having fun on the basketball court but you just had to ruin everything and hurt my feelings. Don't you have any heart at all? How do you even have the nerve to hurt people like that? You just ruin everyone's good mood by insulting them or saying something like how you only saved my life so you could continue ripping on me! Do you know how much that hurt me, Cartman?"

I stare at him, eyes hard, while he stares back, allowing my words to sink in.

"No, Kahl. I don't know. But I'm guessing I hurt you bad, but I don't understand it. Why are you so upset about it? Surely you knew I hated you so why does it hurt when I say it?"

I don't answer. I can't. If I did, I'd have to tell him how I feel about him… that I love him.

I just shake my head, as if shaking off the anger and hurt I'm feeling, and walk off, not back to the cafeteria but wherever my legs take me. Cartman's eyes are still on me as I walk. I can feel them.

I reluctantly glance back over my shoulder and see that I'm right. Cartman's staring intently at me, his eyes never leaving me, his expression unreadable.

I force myself to look straight ahead again and I jump in fright when I see Mr Riordan suddenly standing in front of me, glaring down at me. He's the school principal and he's extremely strict.

"And what, may I ask, are you doing wandering around the school when you're meant to be eating in the cafeteria?" he asks, close to shouting.

"Um… I-I was just with-"

I turn around to point at Cartman but am shocked to see that he's gone. That stupid asshole abandoned me!

I face the principal again and sigh. "I'm sorry, sir."

"Sorry isn't enough! You have no excuse to disobey the school rules. You will have detention today after school for an hour and a half."

"But-"

"No complaints!"

With that, he walks away, leaving me to stare dumbfounded after him, my mouth hanging slightly open. I have detention! I have fucking detention, and Cartman doesn't. That's so unfair! Cartman's the one who dragged me out of the cafeteria! God, he's such a-

"Hello, Kahl."

Ugh, speak of the devil. I turn around and see Cartman heading towards me, smirking. I stare at him. Just a few moments ago, he was expressionless and now his usual smirk is back on his face. I think I'd rather the blank look.

"What the fuck, Cartman? I have detention today and it's all your fault!"

"That's better, Kahl. Stay like that. Be angry with me. It's good to see you as yourself again."

I glare hatefully at him, watching with added fury as his smirk widens. He thrives on my anger. This is delighting him! That sick asshole…

"I hate you, Cartman! I hate you so fucking much!" I cry.

"Good, Kahl. I like it this way. Don't ever change it again," he replies, still smirking though I hear a slight hint of seriousness in his voice.

I growl deep in the back of my throat and push past him, heading back to the cafeteria before someone else spots me.

Cartman only hesitates for a moment before following me. I feel his eyes boring into my back as I walk but I try to ignore him.

God, I hate this asshole so much!

"Kahl, slow down, will you? Jesus, no one else is going to spot us, okay?"

I ignore him and quicken my pace, just to annoy him. I hear him groan and I smirk, my plan to irritate him having succeeded.

I hear his footsteps move faster and I know he's jogging now. He reaches my side in a matter of seconds and he places his large hand on my arm to stop me. I angrily shake it off and continue to walk ahead, hearing him groan again behind me.

"Kahl, just wait, will you?" he cries, increasing his speed again.

I suddenly stop dead, my irritation having risen quickly, and slowly turn to face Cartman. The brunet seems to be surprised at my actions and stops dead directly in front of me, nearly barrelling into me.

I glare at him and he raises a questioning eyebrow, confusion clear on his face. "What?" he asks, puzzled.

I sigh deeply and just shake my head. "I just hate you so much," I say simply, as if it's completely obvious.

He stares at me for a moment or two, an odd look on his face, before scowling and moving past me, walking ahead of me. I cock an eyebrow at his back, and walk after him, heading back towards the cafeteria.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

I kind of ended this chapter badly. Sorry about that.

I really wanted to update this fic before Christmas. I've no idea when I'll have the next chapter up but please bear with me.

Review, please. xx