AN: Hello there, it's me again. I would like to thank everyone who put me on alert, favorite and took the time to review. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I'm still looking for a BETA and I haven't found one yet, if any of you have any advice as to how to acquire one, please let me know… I sure could use the help.
Now for the slightly saddening news ( maybe just for me anyway), this story is not getting any reviews or feedback, and I know from my experience that if I story doesn't have reviews, I take it as poorly written and I don't read it… SO PLEASE! If you are taking the time to read, please let me know what you think… SHOULD I JUST GIVE UP?
DISCLAMER: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, I'm just messing with Edward and Bella's lives a bit ;)
Chapter 4: Trouble
Trying to plan your life is a stupid and futile thing to do. It's deluding, and only causes you disappointment. Some people believe that fate, karma and other religious and philosophical powers have a hold on our lives. These powers guide us and keep us on track. Those people believe that from the moment we were born, our lives had been planned ahead of time; we had no choice in the matter. We had to meet the people we have met, we had to encounter the things we have encountered. If we love a certain color or food or weather or person, it's because the powers destined us to be that kind of a person. A person who loves the colors black and purple, a person who's favorite fruit is watermelon, a person who loves the autumn weather, and a person who is incapable of any sort of "romantic" love.
I've always refused this way of thinking, hated it with a passion. I refuse to believe that I am a mere puppet on a string, and the great hand of fate is the puppeteer.
I loved the color black because I enjoyed the dark, the mystery surrounding the lack of color, the absences of it, and I've always had slight Gothic tendencies. I loved the color purple because it represented a peaceful and imposing color all in the same time. I love watermelon because I enjoy the juiciness of it; it reminds me of summer time and fun. I loved the autumn because it instilled a sense of power in me; when you watch everything around you shrivel and die waiting to be resuscitated, when you stand alone in a fading forest, you seem to feel a sense of survival, you marvel at the fact that you are alive, while Mother Nature is weakening.
I refuse to love because it makes you weak; it makes you pathetic and vulnerable. When you love, it makes you dependent and the only person you can ever depend on is yourself. I've been proven absolutely and undoubtedly right after these recent events.
You are you own person because everything you encounter in this life shapes your personality and carves your path. You choose what to keep, and what to let go of. You have the choice, the power and the ability to think and decide. Your choice is your power, and my choice… my choice had been stolen from me.
Here in Carlisle's office, I was absolutely convinced that trying to plan my life was an absolute and total waste of time. Here in this place I started doubting my previous convictions; maybe fate really does exist, maybe I really am a puppet. Maybe I was just a stupid little girl, young and naïve thinking she had the power of choice. I was foolish enough to believe that my life was mine, and I could do with it whatever I wanted. What a stupid little girl indeed…
The beautiful office was dead silent, and all three pairs of eyes were still on me. After supposedly meeting Edward, I still haven't spoken a word. Elizabeth was looking at me with a wave of expectation, as if I was supposed to scream hallelujah and jump into the arms of my Prince Charming. Carlisle was looking at me as if he was waiting for me to either faint again, or go on a killing spree. And Edward, well he was looking at me with such detest and anger, you'd think I was the one that came up with this fucked up, evil arrangement.
"You know," Edward said "the polite thing to do would be to tell me your name, and your thoughts concerning this whole situation. You must me loving it huh; poor white trash girl, thrown in the wonderful world and wealth and beauty. Well let me tell you, bitch! It won't suit you. At fucking all!" he said with so must venom, you'd mistake him for a black mamba.
My silence was suddenly forgotten, my anger boiling in my blood. I stood up abruptly, almost knocking the heavy chair to the ground. I stalked toward this devilish insolent, fixing him with a deadly glare. I didn't know what possessed me, but the moment I reached him, I took him by the collar of his shirt and dragged his 6 feet plus frame to my short level and spoke as calmly as I could. "I will only say this once, so you better pay attention. If you ever call me a bitch again, I swear to God I will inflict so much fucking pain onto you, you will be the one howling like a bitch. Do you understand me?" Shaking him slightly and letting go.
The shocked look on his face was almost comical, had I not been so pissed. His eyes slightly widened, his mouth hanging open. I smirked and turned around, feeling a wave of accomplishment.
Looking at Elizabeth, I regained my deadly glare. Standing across from her, one the other side of Carlisle's' office, I smacked my hands on the mahogany desk, bending a bit so my face was level with hers.
"You say you're a strong woman? You think you're proud and untouchable? I say that's bullshit. I say you're a weak, horrid, bully of an old wretch that likes fucking up peoples' lives. You couldn't even raise your own children. Your son calls you a devil, and your bitch of a grandson is so out of control, you had to destroy my life in order to try to get him in line. You know what lady? I hope you burn in hell, and SOON!" I screamed.
I've never been disrespectful to people, I've never cursed at anyone let alone an old lady. But it seems my old habits were dead wrong for me to be punished this way. I decided to change my tune, being a good person didn't work for me it seems.
Elizabeth was as shocked as her grandson, but then she regained her composure and smiled. I frowned at her, wondering why she's smiling rather than screaming or saying hurtful things back to me.
"I knew you were strong from the moment I laid eyes on you!" she exclaimed "Never in his life has my Edward been rendered speechless." She smiled wider as she looked at him. He huffed and glared at me, silently promising me that I will pay for my indiscretion. I was about to say something to him, provoking him further, but Elizabeth interrupted me.
"And as for me, no one has ever dared to say such things to my face. Normally I would have drilled you a new one, believe me! But I understand why you are so upset. Sometimes Bella, the things life throws at us are unfair and difficult to understand and deal with, but we have to brave them and conquer them in order to truly say we've lived. I presented you with a choice Bella, and no matter how many hours you scream and yell and try to fight it, you will give me a response. Either you're going to marry Edward, or you'll be sending your father to jail." She said with a calm tone; trying to talk me down sternly.
"You presented me with a choice?" I said slightly bewildered "You stole my choice, my life, my ambition! Do you really think I will let my father go to jail? To you think I'm that cruel of a person?" My voice wavered; I was on the verge of tears.
It's not every day you sell your soul to the devil in an effort to save someone you've loved your whole life. It's not every day that you give up everything you've ever dreamed of.
"I have no choice" I continued "I will not let my father go to jail!" I refused to say the words; I refused to tell her that I will marry him.
"Excellent" she exclaimed "I knew you'd accept! Now we have to finalize the papers, and then you'll get to meet your new family." How she could be so happy, how she would accept someone she knew nothing about and welcome them into her family was beyond me.
I swallowed my sadness and asked "What papers?"
"The marriage papers of course!" she said " There will be no wedding obviously, the cover story will be that Edward has been seeing you for a while and you two decided to elope. The civil marriage papers are all set up, all you have to do is sign and you'll be married. I pulled a few strings" She winked and clapped her hands.
I wasn't the type of girl who dreamed about her wedding day, her dress and the decoration, the man I'd love enough to marry. But as I listened to her, I felt my sadness double. My father will not walk me down the aisle, my dress won't be white and big like a princess, and I certainly did not love the man I am marrying. When I thought of marriage, a church always came to mind, and I won't even have that…
"Today?" I said, my voice void, emotionless. "You want us to get married today?"
"Well, there's no time like the present!" she replied.
I looked at Edward, and found him still against the wall with a scowl on his beautiful face. I had to say something to him, he was being forced into this the same way I was forced into it.
"You'll do this? Sign the papers right now?" I asked in a small voice, it seems the fight had left me. I had nothing left for the moment.
He snorted and looked me straight in the eye, "You'd want that wouldn't you" I said with a bored tone. "Countless women dreamt of being in your position, spent their days and nights trying to trap me into marrying them, and the plainest one of all actually succeeded. " He ended this a slight laugh.
"Trap you? Are you kidding me? If there was anything I could do to get out of this I'd do it! You think I want this? Do you think this is easy for me? I'm giving up everything for my father! Everything! Don't delude yourself into thinking I would have ever associated with the likes of you had I not been forced to. Trust me Edward, I have no idea who you are, but I don't and will never want you!" I was panting by the time I was finished with my little rant.
He rolled his eyes at me and said "Let's just get this over with"
I guess this really was it, just a little scratch on a paper and I'd be married to someone I knew nothing about. No first date, first kiss, first I love you. No proposal and tears of joy. No screaming YES and promises of forever and fidelity and love. Just some ink on a paper and my soul was sold.
He was right, let's just get this over with.
Two minutes later the papers were signed, and I went from Isabella Marie Swan to Isabella Marie Cullen. I had no choice in the matter at all, even pertaining to my name.
Elizabeth rejoiced and congratulated us. She said she had a good feeling about this. I tuned her out.
Carlisle looked at his son, and smiled a little. He walked over to him and patted him on the back. "I always warned you Edward, your decisions will have reproductions but did you ever listen? She got you now son, make me proud!" He said mockingly. Edward smiled at his father, smacked him on the back and shrugged. He didn't care about this; it didn't even register on his radar. Nothing was going to change for him, and everything will change for me. Forever.
Carlisle then turned to me; I just looked without seeing anything aside from the blurry tears I was trying to hold back. He walked towards me and surprised me by hugging me. He hugged me tightly and whispered "You don't deserve this kind of marriage sweet girl, you deserve so much better. You don't deserve any of this. But don't let it break you Bella, you'll be just fine." I'd lost my battle with the tears then, and they cascaded down my cheeks freely, cleansing my eyes and drowning me in my despair. He said the exact words my mother said while sending off into the abyss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Undeniable Consumption~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After signing the papers, I felt void… dirty… more like some merchandise and less like a human.
Carlisle and Elizabeth escorted us out of the office; they said that it was time for me to meet the rest of the family. Concerning the living arrangements, Carlisle explain that because our " sticky situation" the family didn't feel comfortable leaving us to live alone, so we'll all be living under one roof, that'll give the whole gang a chance to get to know me better. They were big on family camaraderie.
I was more or less relieved to hear I wouldn't have to live alone in a house with Edward.
The down side was that I had to endure a ride to the house alone, in a car with the spawn of the Devil himself. And as we took the damned forty floors long ride in the elevator, I sank a little more into the overwhelming sadness that consumed me.
The ride was long, and I was getting claustrophobic yet again. My breaths were coming out as short little gasps, and I was begging to sweat. Unfortunately, Edward noticed.
"What the hell is your problem?" He hissed.
"I'm… I... I' little claus claustrophobic" I stuttered.
"Ohh that's rich" He said laughing.
Fortunately for me the ride was finally over and I could breathe easy again. Edward led me through the underground parking were his car was without a single world. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw it.
It was absolutely beautiful. Lamborghini I think. It was black and striking and extremely ostentatious.
"What are you waiting for? " Edward huffed, seeming pretty annoyed.
"That's your car?" I asked, awed.
"Umm, yea that's my car." He said mockingly. "What did you expect? A fucking Volvo?"
"I don't know" I said "I expected nothing, I'm just a little surprised is all; I've never seen such an expensive car up close before."
"I bet you haven't" he replied "Now get in, I don't have all day."
Without another word, I got into the car and so began our tense journey "Home".
The car was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. It had black leather seats and a beautiful complicated dashboard. There was a little touch screen instead of the radio, and I saw Edward press a few buttons to turn on the AC and turn on a little music. Soft piano music wafted through the speakers. I found it a little odd; I didn't take him for a classical music type of guy.
All through the drive, which took approximately twenty minutes Edward and I didn't say one word. I could see how tense he was, his knuckles turning white from the tight grip he kept on the steering wheel. He'd occasionally release the wheel in order to shift gears, but other than that, he remained silent and on edge.
I gazed out the window all through the ride, looking at New York City, the city I've been dreaming of living in since I was a freshman at High School. Now, I wish I never came.
And then, just about the time I was about to crawl out of my skin from the thick air in the car, we reached our destination.
The house we reached took my breath away. It was absolutely beautiful, perched alone with no nearby nosy neighbors. I guess if you had money; you could buy everything, including privacy.
It was more of a castle than a house, made entirely of white washed stones. A rounded driveway was guarded by a huge iron gate, with what looked like a very advanced security system.
Edward punched a few numbers in and the gate automatically opened, giving way to the amazing driveway behind it. It looked more like a maze, with well maintained pushes and flowers surrounding its sides and middle. The house lay striking behind the greenery, looking like a fortress.
Five long steps stood at the forefront of the arched front entrance. Bushes and trees surrounded the steps on either side, leading to the beautiful dark wood and glass front door. The house was three stories high, accessorized with round balconies and long open windows. I had no words to describe it, it was simply too beautiful.
Parking the car, Edward got out and as I reached for the handle to follow him out, he crossed the car and reached for the handle, opening the door for me. Thanking him gently, I tried to take in the house more closely, noting all the flowers and greenery that made me feel more in a fairytale forest rather then in New York City.
Edward didn't hesitate waking up the beautiful white steps heading for the front door. I had no choice but to follow behind him quietly. He used a key to get in and then called out, "Mom? We're here." He sounded like a petulant child.
I took the time to marvel at the beauty surrounding me. The Entrée was huge; the floors were encased in shimmering white marble. An antic looking carved, dark brown little stand stood at the left, with a huge vase on top filled with white tulips. A big oil painting hanging slightly over it on the ivory colored wall. At the far right corner sat two low ivory colored chairs with a stool between them, on the stool stood a carved ceramic lamp.
At the center of the Entrée stood a high stand also with a vase filled with light pink tulips. A beautiful ivory, brown and gold Moroccan carpet covered the beautiful marble; the colors intricately woven and absolutely gorgeous.
Crystal chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, beautifully lit, giving off a warm golden glow.
But the piece de resistance was the two spiraling stairways on either side on the Entrée, two big mid ceiling to floor windows were located in the middle covered by a light white curtain in the center and a darker thicker golden brown curtain on the sides.
The stairs were also made of white marble, beautiful fer forge standing in as railings.
The manor had a French style to it, simply stunning, warm and looking very expensive.
My staring was interrupted by five people walking brusquely towards were I stood. A beautiful woman who didn't look a day over thirty reached me first, and wrapped her arms around me suddenly, surprising and flustering me a bit.
"Isabella" she said her voice soft and soothing "I'm so glad to meet you. Welcome to your home." She released me, smiled and continued "I'm Esme, Edward's mother."
"Nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen" I said weakly "You have a beautiful home."
I had no idea why these people were being nice to me…
"Oh none of that dear please, call me Esme." She replied "And it's your home now too." She put her hand on the small of my back as if to guide me, and steered me toward the four eager looking faces.
She stopped, and I faced a beautiful woman with the friendliest smile gracing her face. She was short, almost pixie like, and had spiked black hair and beautiful big blue eyes. The woman squealed and launched herself at me. I flinched, waiting for the impending blow, but she hugged me tightly and squeezed.
"I'm Alice" she said " And I know you're all freaked out and confused right now, but mark my words Isabella, you and I are going to be the greatest of friends." She smiled brightly at me and stepped back. She reached behind her and tugged at a tall, lanky blond man just as beautiful as she is. He had hazel eyes and a perfect face. His hair was slightly long; framing his face beautifully.
"This is my husband Jasper" She continued "And I forgot to say that I'm asshole's sister" She ended the sentence with a laugh. I figured by asshole she was referring to Edward, so she must be my new sister in law.
Jasper held out his hand and I took it, he gently held my hand and raised it to his lips "Jasper Whitlock ma'am." He said with a slight southern drawl. He oozed of peace and gentleness. "Welcome to the family kid."
"Nice to meet you Jasper, I'm Bella" I said smiling.
"It's my turn now" A voice boomed. I looked towards a giant of a man; he had broad shoulders and a gorgeous face. His eyes were almond shaped and grey, just like Carlisle, and his dimpled grin was absolutely infectious. I found myself smiling back unconsciously. His looks might be intimidating, but his smile gave him away; he was a gentle giant.
The giant stepped forward and lifted me in a bear hug, I might have squealed a bit.
"I'm Emmet" he said laughing "The jerks brother" putting me down, he bent down to my level and winked. "If he gives you any trouble, you know who to come to." I found myself liking him instantly.
"Very nice to meet you Emmet" I replied, craning my neck to look up at his tall frame.
"And this is my wife, Rosalie." Emmet said "Rosie, come meet Bella."
The woman that stepped out from behind Emmet was absolutely breathtaking. She looked like an exotic model with her long golden hair and amazing body. She had curves most women would kill for, and eyes so beautiful they are almost too enchanting to be real.
I was instantly very self conscious. I didn't belong amongst these people. I didn't know beauty like that existed without the help of Photoshop. They were all emitting beauty, style and class, and I was just plain old white trash Bella with my ratty old jeans and black tank top. I had converse on my feet. I felt like a hobo compared to these immaculately dressed people.
I don't want to be here, I found myself thinking, I don't belong here…
But Rosalie stepped towards me and gave me a gentle hug. She released me and smiled; a soft expression upon her face.
"These aren't the best of circumstances Bella, and I hope you don't find us too forward, we're just glad to meet you." She paused, smiled and said "I'm Rosalie."
Aphrodite was a more suiting name, but regardless I returned her smile and said "You're all very welcoming Rosalie, thank you for your kindness. I'm Bella."
During the introduction, Edward stood next to his mother, glaring at me. What I did wrong I did not know, but I knew that I'd officially met the family.
From what I gathered from the introductions, they all seemed like very nice people, loving and welcoming, with absolutely no arrogance hindering their kindness in accepting a stranger in their home.
They all looked like very good people. All… except for him.
I was trying very hard to remember he was forced into this; he was a victim of other people's indiscretions, same as me. But for the life of me, I couldn't stop myself from hating him. He was the cause of this mess after all.
Beautiful… but deadly.
AN: Please tell me what you think, shall I continue on with this story? If I do, there will be a lot of Edward and Bella times, fights, angst, and eventually acceptance. I promise to make this worth your while. Leave me a little review and let me know.
Thank you